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Member Since 16th Apr, 2012
offline last seen Feb 12th, 2014

spartianfox

truly beliving i am in the wrong dimension i share the vast amounts of glory that spew forth from my mind with my freinds on the net! also, check out my youtube and deviant art by the same name! we do my little pony RPGs every night, and i am developing a MLP card game as well!

Apples in the mountains

As the description emplies, this is a suggestion as to why the apples parents where niether at the family reunion, aAaAaApaloosa, nor do they talk about them. , but it does basically explain where they whent

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 4 )

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spartianfox

spartianfox #1 · Apr 16th, 2012 · · ·

well, thats all i know anyways. i sure do miss em.

neutralmilk

neutralmilk #2 · Apr 16th, 2012 · · ·

Honest criticism here:
The spoiler in the description has to go. Don't say that they die, just say it's a story about Applejack's parents. That way it's a surprise.
The pacing is a bit too fast; you don't really feel for them while everything's happening. Plus the characterization seems a bit odd. I don't know, but seeing as every one in the Apple family is "Southern," maybe they too should speak with that accent.

Other than that, I liked it a lot! The ending gave me shivers
Oh, and great first story by the way! With a bit of work, this could be one of the best stories I've read in a while