• Member Since 12th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen May 31st, 2021

Stormy Night


Just a guy who's terrible at names and wants to try his hand at writing. Glad to finally be posting stuff instead of just reading.

T

This story is set after the events of "A Dog and Pony Show". Beyond that, its exact place in the continuity is debatable.

The Diamond Dogs have long lived in the gem fields not far from Ponyville. There, they use their innate connection with the earth to find and mine the magical jewels that are then used far and wide. But when their past comes back to bite them in the tail, they will have to stand up for their right to their way of life.

This story was written for EQD's "Outside Insight Summer Fanfic Contest", which I only just learned about now on the last day for submissions.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 3 )

Bad blueblood, bad

“All of the children and elders will be evacuated to the Everfree Forest.

Extra space.

You probably need to revisit your understanding of dialogue transitions, too; you don't use capitals or periods when attributing.

“The dogs you speak of are no longer a part of this pack. They, and all who aided them, have been exiled.” He said, staring at the guards.

Should be:

“The dogs you speak of are no longer a part of this pack. They, and all who aided them, have been exiled,” he said, staring at the guards.

You do this many times.

Nice story, but it did feel rushed. Also, I can't for the life of me figure out why the DD's would trade their gems away. (What could the ponies have that the DD's would want.)

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