One thing I love about being a brony is how great this fandom is and I feel that I need to thank my bronies for being so awsome so I'm here to give you the best quality fics I can create. Enjoy!
Early in the morning Twilight finds herself escorting a new arrival to Ponyville around the town. Along the way the rest of the girls show up and the stranger gets... well... stranger.
This marks my first story uploaded, and truth be told I'm a little nervous, so I'd appreciate any comments positive or otherwise, just go easy on the new guy ;). This is set before season 4, despite some continuity errors
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How about no? Writing something like this is one of the easiest ways to annoy people on this site.
If you're aware of the errors, why not fix them then?
Clichéd "everything is fine, like every other day (until it isn't)" opening.
4840231
well there not so much errors as the are inconsistencies, for example when Pinkie says "I suggest Nervou-cited" the argument could be made that she never said that before the film and so doesn't make sense to use in the story (not a great example, I know, but one I actually had to deal with) and I just thought it was to funny to remove, so when I say 'errors' I'm basically covering my butt against complaints like this.
Hm. I figured HiE would have claim that title.
4840277 The easiest way to anger people is definitely deleting comments. HiE is actually intensely popular.
4840283
I supposes it would be more irksome than a genre, but I don't intend to delete comments unless they get overly rude or mean so that shouldn't be a problem
Well in my experience there are mainly two openings to any form of medium; either "Nothing is wrong but then 'x' happens" or "The main character is losing/lost/depressed but then 'x' happens" so I went for the former, with a touch of "Everything is fine" to fit the premise.
4840370 Define "overly mean".
4840421
Basically anything I wouldn't want said to me or about me, I'm fine with critiques but stuff like "you suck" or "this is rubbish" I don't have time for
4840470 That's pretty reasonable. But what if a comment is part-critique and part insult? It's something I've seen a lot.
4840486
I guess it would depend on the circumstance; things like 'how mean is it really?' and 'is it truly sincere?' or 'is it just a bit to blunt/poorly-worded but means well?' would all play a part, but since I haven't ever experienced something like that I can't say for sure what I'd do, but I'm always willing to give people the benefit of the doubt if it ever came to that
You're new at this aren't you? Do you know how I can tell? It's from the very first paragraph. Here it is, see if you can find it:
Do you see it yet?
It's there...
No not there, there.
No, that's wrong and since I don't feel like playing any more I'm going to tell you.
Your prose is bordering on purple. You use too many adjectives and descriptions when less would work just as well. You're trying to paint a picture and make it as colorful as you can. In short you're doing too much. This is not to say that descriptions are bad. No, you just need to dial it back a bit.
4840767
Thanks for the advice, I'll need to watch for that next time.
Well that's the first time I've seen a colour used as a scale of writing skill but I'll go with it