Bombastic Bookpony's Bazaar of Oneshots

by Bombastic Bookpony

Immortals (Discord and Twilight, Friendship/Adventure/Sad)

Twilight blasted back another barrage of sludge , but that only granted her a short reprieve. In a few seconds there’d be another attack, from above or from below or-

She heard a whooshing sound from behind her, and sidestepped it before letting out another magical zap. She couldn’t do this much longer. These things were too hard to see in this dark cave, and it was way too closed in. There was little room to fly, and these things were fast. Twilight was by no means a close range expert. She needed to get out. They needed to get out. No matter how annoying he was, it was important he survived too. Where was he, now that she thought abou-

“Boo,” whispered someone into her ear. Twilight jumped, and Discord laughed heartily.

Still bristling, she questioned, “Where were you?”

“Oh, just buying us some time, Your Majesty. Haven’t you noticed that there was only two bundles of the Smooze here, and that they’ve been staying down for an awful while?” That was true, when she thought about it. These things were usually far more resistant to magic; it would only delay them for a second or two. It was only when they were apart from the main Smooze body that they were weakened. That would be why those two were staying down. Wait...

“‘Those two bundles of sludge?’ You saw those things attack me and you, what? Just stood back and watched?”

Discord put his hands up. “I didn’t want to step on any royal hooves. You seemed like you had it under control.” Twilight glared at him. “Anywho, like I was saying, I caused a cave-in a little ways back. Should hold them for a few minutes.”

“Only a few minutes? Are they really that strong?”

“Indeed they are. Relentless powerful things. They don’t grow tired or hungry. That whole huge body of disgusting mass are slamming down against those rocks, and when I say disgusting, I mean it. And I thought Sombra was an ugly mess of disembodied mass.”

Twilight sat down, breathing heavily. A few minutes was at least a little time to catch her breath, recharge a little magic. “Ok, so the main body’s a while back from us. Maybe we can teleport again.” She lit her horn, hoped, and.... nothing. “You?”

He snapped his fingers, but nothing occurred. No white flash. Discord shrugged. “Alas, no. I’m afraid you’re stuck with me, Princess, probably until we bond through this life-endangering obstacle and see that we are far more alike than we ever imagined, and come out as the best of friends. And then you can write a full letter to Celestia.” He stopped, and put his claw on his chin. “Do you still do that? Or has the alicorn thing made you drop it? Ah, they grow up so... slow. I mean really, you think you would’ve stopped the whole letters thing by middle school at least!”

“Would you just shut up with your stupid jokes for a minute!?” Twilight shouted, “This is serious!”

“Don’t get snappy with me, it was your idol Starwirl who concocted these things to ‘wreak revenge on the world who had forgotten his genius’ or something. For such a smart pony, you’d think he’d know that revenge tastes best when you wreck them mentally and leave them alive, rather than just wiping them all out. Speaking just from my prior experience as a villain, of course. It just seems so lazy, don’t you think, Princess?”

“Just.. shut up,” she sighed, exasperated. “And I told you, it’s just Twilight.”

“Right, because you’re the cool, casual, fun Princess, is that right? Just another pony? I doubt ‘just another pony’ would be here.”

“I see that your annoying mind games and lectures haven’t gone away with your turn to the light side. Because you were so good at it before, what with how Fluttershy didn’t fall for your tricks. Twice,” she sniped. “Ugh, why couldn’t she be here? Or Dash, or Pinkie, or any of my friends? Here I am, in possibly my last fight, fighting back to back with you,” Twilight spat.

“It all goes back to what I said before, Twilight. You’re no ordinary pony. You’re different now. You’re a god. You’re above them, on a whole another level. It’s just facts, Twilight. And with that level, you go to places where they can’t follow. Or have you forgotten that your friends don’t share your immortality?” Twilight turned her head, as if struck. “Believe it or not, I’ll miss them too. Well, Fluttershy, at least. But in the end, when it comes down to it, us immortals are all we have. Truly tragic. Who wants to live forever? All are washed away by the sea of time. Etcetera etcetera,” he mock-choked, wiping a tear from his eye.

“So, what? This is supposed to be a bonding session or something?” A rumbling sound interrupted Discord before he could answer. Looks like time’s up. “Tell you what, Discord. You help get me out of here alive, and I might bump up my feelings for you from hate to indifference.”

“May I just say, I have always enjoyed your sass? It’s just so much fun.... Twilight.” He toothily smiled at her. Well, at least he’s trying.

“Come on, Discord. Let’s move.”

“You know, you never thanked me for slowing them down-”

“Just move.”

Author's Note:

Prompt #269: Why were we there back to back?

The return of Discord. There was potential, but my rustiness was showing heavily.