Bombastic Bookpony's Bazaar of Oneshots

by Bombastic Bookpony

Fight (Implied AppleDash, Slice of Life)

Dash knew Applejack quite well. Every athlete knows their rival better than their rival knows themselves. So Dash knew that after Dodge, Applejack would be pretty cruddy. And it was her job to cheer her up.

“Dash, just let me beat myself up in peace.”

“No way, Applejack! I know that you must feel like scum, losing all those contests, skipping town, tricking Pinkie, running away from us... Not to mention all the worry you caused us and your family, not knowing you were ok...”

“Gee, Dash, that speech there just made me feel right as rainbows again! Before you go, can you hand me a horseshoe? I need to bang myself over the head with it.”

Dash rolled her eyes. “Look, what I’m trying to say is, you must be feeling pretty crummy. And do you remember what we do when we feel crummy?”

Applejack perked up. “Drink?”

“Drink.” She nodded.

“I have some cider in the cellar.”

“No no no.” Rainbow shook her head. “When you’re wallowing in self pity, you don’t drink delicious cider! You drink watered down, nasty, awful beer at the most run down bar in town!”

AJ smiled. “Donny’s.”

“Yup! If we’re lucky, you might even get into a bar fight or two! Those always cheer you up!”

“No, Dash. My reputation with the town is low enough as is. Promise me you won’t drink; I need somepony to keep me from doing something embarrassing or bucking somepony in the mouth."

A disappointed sigh came out of the crucelean mare’s mouth. “Fine. Only for you, AJ. But what if they insult apples?”

“Then you let me.”

“Or if they say you’re fooling around with Big Mac and/or Applebloom?”

“Then you let me, but keep me from killing em.”

“And what if-”

“Dash, you know me well enough to decide when somepony deserves a buck in the teeth. I trust ya.”

“Cool. Let’s get drinking!”

---

Dash’s plan was working out perfectly. AJ was drinking and rambling about those darn Carrots. Not a single mention of Dodge. Alcohol. Who needed to talk it out when you had that?

“Dash?” AJ suddenly asked

“Hm?”

“This was a reaaaal good idea. I’m proud of ya. I know it must’ve hurt ya brain to come up with it.”

“Hey! It wasn’t that hard. Beer’s always on my mind.” AJ snorted and Dash smirked, happy she was keeping AJ happy.

“But seriously.” AJ began, sobered(in a certain use of the trem), “I really appreciate you doin’ this. Ponies like you an’ me don’t need no stupid wussy feelings! All we need is beer, and you understand that! Not like the others.”

“Yeah, no prob! I always know what you need.”

“And bringing me back from Dodge, I appreciate that too. You never gave up. Not for a second.”

Uh oh. Here comes feelings. “Well, yeah! you’re my main gal, AJ! I would’ve chased you anywhere!”

“I reeeeeally appreciate it,” AJ intoned in a sultry manner.

Uh oh. Here comes Flirtyjack. Or is she just tipsy? Always hard to tell.

“Is this the part where ya kiss?” interrupted a large Earth Pony stallion behind them. With him were a Pegasus and a Unicorn. Great, he has a posse. I can see where this is going.

“Shut your mouth. Didn’t ya family teach ya manners?”

“Is that- It’s Applejack! I heard about you and your family! You would know how families are supposed to act, wouldn’t ya?”

Implied incest. Strike one.

“Why I oughtta-” AJ almost hit him right there, only to be stopped by Dash.

“Hey, remember your reputation?”

The stallion snorted. “What reputation? Everypony knows your apples suck already!”

Badmouthing apples, strike two. Applejack seethed; Dash coulda sworn she saw steam come out of her ears. “AJ,” she cautioned. “You don’t want to give Apple Acres a bad name, right?”

“Yeah, ya did enough of that already! We heard about Dodge; the only thing you got first place in was being a loser!” He and his friends chuckled.

Annnd strike three; you’re gonna get knocked out!

AJ’s face was unusually passive, but Dash saw her clenching her drink with anger.

“What? Got nothing to say? Too busy mackin’ with your marefriend?” Oh, now he’s just repeating himself! “Whatever. C’mon, guys. Let’s put some real music on in this dump.”

“So,” Dash began as they turned away. “I guess you want the big guy. No prob; I could take out that scrawny Pegasus and that nerdy Unicorn pretty easy!”

“Dash, you don’t have to join in.”

“What, ya kiddin? This is exactly what I got you back for! The bar fights! Ten bits say I take out my guys first.”

“You’re on, sugacrube.” AJ threw a drink at the back of the stallion’s head and Dash tackled the Pegasus, starting yet another bar fight in Donny’s.

Author's Note:

Prompt #10: Two ponies go to a bar; one gets extremely drunk.

This one has a fun dynamic with Dash and AJ. I like how underneath the banter, you can feel Dash’s support and well… loyalty. They’re clearly a team here. The rules and how they integrated into the story were good. All in all, a good if not particularly memorable story.