Bombastic Bookpony's Bazaar of Oneshots

by Bombastic Bookpony

Let Them Eat Cake (TwiPie, Romance/Comedy)

Twilight Sparkle has faced many deadly foes and challenges. She has stood up to a corrupted moon goddess who would’ve ushered in an eternal night. She has faced an evil, insane, and chaotic draconequus who had turned her closest friends against her. She was the only pony to see through the clever queen of the Changelings’ disguise. Dragons, Ursa Majors, Cockatrices, oh my! She has seen those and much, much more. But this? This was far and away the most dangerous mission she had ever undertaken.

What could be worse than that, you say? How about breaking a friend’s trust? How about sneaking behind a friend’s back? How about breaking a Pinkie Promise?! Twilight can see you shiver, voice in her head. She understands your fear. But this was for an important cause. It would all be worth it in the end.

That was the excuse she kept telling herself as she went to pick up her food at Sugarcube Corner’s biggest rival, Sweetcircle Square. The rivalry bleed deep, back to both bakeries’ very foundings, The Cakes and the Flours being merely the latest in a long line. Pinkie had made every one of her friends swear a most solemn Pinkie Promise to never shop there. But Twilight had to. This was important.

That was why she was adorned in a ridiculous brown leather jacket and hat, with the blackest sunglasses she could find on her face, and a bushy mustache above her upper lip. Yes, she had in fact used Spell 25 for this. That was how important this was. Pinkie could never know. Just act normal, Twilight. You’re just fine. Perfectly inconspicuous. This was how all her books told her inconspicuous ponies dressed like. And her books would never lie to her. She calmly walked up to the counter and the stallion behind it. “I would like my cake. I ordered it last Tuesday. My name’s Dawndark Twinkle,” she announced in a deep voice. A genius pseudonym, Twilight! Pinkie shall never know!

The young stallion rolled his eyes. “Ya, I remember you. Hard to forget such a goofball. Pa!” he called to the kitchen. “That weird mare with a mustache is back!” Hs father mumbled something incomprehensible from behind him, but the son seemed to understand him. “It’ll be just a second.”

Twilight nodded normally, but inside was panicking. He knew I was a mare! If he could see it, Pinkie can! Panicking, she was panicking! Things went wrong when she panicked. Get a hold of yourself! You just have to get home and put the cake in a separate box, one without the name of Pinkie’s most hated rivals on it! Then you’ll be home free. Finally, the father came out, the cake on the tray held by his mouth. His son levitated it into a box.

“There ya go, ma’am. Hope you’ll shop here again!”

Never never ever never! “Thanks, I certainly will!” She grabbed the box with her magic and hightailed it out of there. She let out a relieved sigh when she made it out. You’re almost there. Now just get home. Not too far. She couldn’t risk teleporting; it could ruin the cake and it had to be perfect, had to be just right, it had to be! What could go wro- dang it Twilight why would you think that now everything will go wrong why don’t you learn!?

And, predictably, things went wrong, as a lovely, sweet, perfect voice rang behind her. “Hiya Twi!” Twilight jumped, and hastily hid the cake in her leather jacket. She turned to face Pinkie.

“Pinkie, my friend! Hello to you too! I’m really, really, really busy, so I have to get to my library bye!”

“Wait!” Pinkie exclaimed, cutting in front of her. “Why are you dressed like that? And why did you use Spell 25 on yourself? And why is there a bulge in your jacket? Are you hiding something from me?”

Dang her and her amazing curiosity! Pinkie had gotten a lot better at noticing the obvious and the not so obvious since they solved the MMMystery together. Twilight was usually proud of that, but at this moment found it very irritating. “No reason! Can’t I be impulsive once in awhile?”

Pinkie’s eyes narrowed. “Yeaaaah, but this isn’t the first weird thing you’ve done. you’ve been avoiding me or stuttering around me or making up excuses and avoiding me Twi! And that hurts when my bestest friend avoids me! Is something wrong? I can help, you know I can!”

“N-no, I’m fine.” She felt a tinge of guilt. Pinkie was right; Twilight had been avoiding her. But she was confused before, and now it was all clear. Now she just had to get the plan done and things would be perfect!

“C’mon!” She quickly reached underneath Twilight's jacket and pulled the cake out. She gasped. “Sweetcircle Square! Twilight how could you!? I trusted you! You made a Pinkie Promise! Those are mean, underhanded bakers and they’ve almost put the Cakes out of business with their mean cheating tactics several times! How could you!?”

Twilight turned her head, unwilling to bear Pinkie’s anger. “Pinkie? Could you just look down at the cake?”

“Fine!” She looked, she saw, and she teared up, for the cake said in pink and purple icing, I love you. Will you please be mine? Twilight Sparkle. “Twi? You-you want to be-”

She nodded. “I couldn’t go through Sugarcube Corner because you’d hear about it, and that place is the only one to make quality cakes like you guys. I’m sorry, Pinkie. I just wanted to finally tell you.””

“Even though you broke a Pinkie Promise and would’ve earned my furious wrath?”

“I would break a Pinkie Promise hundreds of times for the chance to make you happy.” An... unconventional pick up line, but then everything about Pinkie was so wonderfully unconventional. “I understand if you don’t-” She was cut off by sugary sweet lips crashing into hers, whisking her off to wonderful bliss. This is way better than the plan. she thought as she melted into the kiss.

Author's Note:

Prompt #6: Character A has done or is going to do something which will hurt Character B, and A knows they’re going to hurt B, but A is going to do it anyway.

Here I went for the fluffy subversion, and I like it. There’s some great lines here, like “Twilight can see you shiver, voice in her head. She understands your fear.” and ““I would like my cake. I ordered it last Tuesday. My name’s Dawndark Twinkle,” she announced in a deep voice. A genius pseudonym, Twilight! Pinkie shall never know!” I like my Twilight narration/voice here period. Honestly, if I had to pick the weakest part… it’d probably be the actual Twilight Pinkie interaction. It’s short and falls into the usual cliches.