Twilight's appreciation for the beauty of the night sky has only increased with Luna's return, especially after they meet to discuss her latest addition. One meeting becomes two, becomes a regular outing, it's no wonder they would grow
I... can't put my finger on it, but something about this chapter just felt off to me. Perhaps it was the fact that we ran through so many emotions at such a rapid pace that I got left behind somewhere. I think I felt things just went too fast, as if I had skipped a chapter somewhere halfway. Luna arrives, then suddenly she's laughing at Twilight's cherished memories of happy times with a pony she cares for, then suddenly they are arguing, culminating in that vicious (but not quite undeserved) stab of Twilight's. I don't know, it just felt off to me. Luna shifted through a dozen faces in this chapter, and it just made her feel not quite like Luna, almost out of character even, nearly bordering on being mean-spirited to the point I was almost glad Twilight put her in her place with that cruel remark. She felt needlessly condescending towards Twilight, despite her earlier claim that they were equals. It was strange.
I'm not saying it's bad, mind you, I was just left scratching my head not knowing how to feel when I finished reading.
481053148105704810893 Yeah, I'm not entirely sure if these are positive or negative....
4810624 Thank you, I spent way too much time on that so I'm glad that they are appreciated.
4810746 My only real defense, other than things that will become apparent in subsequent chapters, is that Luna is not well acquainted with being not 'Princess' Luna. The only pony she's let her mask down for in a great many years is Celestia and poking at each other is just what they do. So why shouldn't she do that around Twilight as well?
4811434 honestly I wasn't trying to make it sound bad or good just that I never saw it played out so bluntly to the point that I could feel the pain from that remark. Sense I read the chapter I was put into a slightly downed mood. And no I'm not trying to explain myself even if that's what it seems like it's just what was going through my head at the time. (wow I wish I could word stuff like this better)
4811434 I would say that since you managed to make me physically feel a slap from a line in your story, you did rather well on this chapter. Or at least that scene.
(Excluding the notion that you technically abused me)
It felt like Twilight proceeded to the slap a bit too quickly. A little more lead up and that would have flowed perfectly. Other than that minor complaint, excellent chapter.
That betrayal comment. Also, if Twilight idolizes Celestia to the point where she's basically unable to tolerate anything but perfection regarding her, how will she feel when she finds out her mentor has... 'needs?'
Luna needs to get off her high horse and twilight needs to realize that Lulu and Tia have a close relationship that allows for some teasing. but the implication that the element of magic knows magic wrong is worrying. I hope that the artistic magic will merely be different from mathamagic.
The first story could have been a bit longer and more drawn out. It was excellently done, and was very romantic.This second one looks promising enough. I worry though. Worst-case-scenario: Heartbreak and pain on all three involved ponies. Best-Case-Scenario: Three-ways and a weird-ass relationship.
4827608 Yes, it was a little rushed. Looking back, I wish I'd spent a little more time on Luna getting used to the idea, but wishes and pigs and all that.
The original draft here had Twilight issue a public challenge (not knowing who it was) for the right to court Luna that Celestia would have been legally obligated to meet. Cue huge public reveal that stuns the nation.
Fortunately, I was talked down from that (no matter how epic it would have been).
The original draft here had Twilight issue a public challenge (not knowing who it was) for the right to court Luna that Celestia would have been legally obligated to meet. Cue huge public reveal that stuns the nation. Fortunately, I was talked down from that (no matter how epic it would have been).
Her jaw worked, but her ability to form coherent sentences seemed to be jammed up at the crossroads of her ‘Borca Area’, motor cortex, and occipital lobe.
I love this. Not only the description of the magic is wonderful, but I just loved seeing Twilight being put in her place and told that she is not equal to them.
Ok, well I think you just took my best interpretation of Luna ever card. It's good to know Twilight's head didn't explode from the awesomeness that is Luna's super colors.
Twilight really had no right to yell at Luna nor pull out any mention of Nightmare Moon. Luna was right in knowing Celestia for longer than Twilight, and she was only trying to tease, not insult Twilight.
8340067 Wahtiff Well had she still been a unicorn I’d agree with you, but since Luna’s insistence on being equals and her literal Celestia worship anything not conforming to her image of the sun alicorn is a personal affront. I’d be more concerned if she didn’t flip out in this situation. The reference to Nightmare Moon was from anger and rash comeback, she’ll probably feel horrible about mentioning that later.
Half of the sky was already tinted a warm amber, like a cup of chamomile tea with a dollop of milk, fading into an almost metallic lilac hue. The closer the sun got to the horizon, the thicker the amber got until it began edging toward violet, clouds in the distance still catching the light in long streaks of shining gold, tinted by hints of rose. The sun continued to lower, the golden hue darkening into a wide band of reds and oranges that divided the sky in two. Great swaths of the sky shifted into vibrant purples and violets surrounding the brighter hues and gradually edged their way in until a dark-blue edged its way in from the east, pullin with it the pitch black of the night sky.
Wow. I felt the slap from that "Betrayal" remark from across the cosmos.
Damn.
I never betrayed her.
Me: I don't think a facehoof will cover what I just read.
...Oh my... I... so beautiful....
...
I love this story so much. That description of magic...
No words, well done.
I... can't put my finger on it, but something about this chapter just felt off to me. Perhaps it was the fact that we ran through so many emotions at such a rapid pace that I got left behind somewhere. I think I felt things just went too fast, as if I had skipped a chapter somewhere halfway. Luna arrives, then suddenly she's laughing at Twilight's cherished memories of happy times with a pony she cares for, then suddenly they are arguing, culminating in that vicious (but not quite undeserved) stab of Twilight's. I don't know, it just felt off to me. Luna shifted through a dozen faces in this chapter, and it just made her feel not quite like Luna, almost out of character even, nearly bordering on being mean-spirited to the point I was almost glad Twilight put her in her place with that cruel remark. She felt needlessly condescending towards Twilight, despite her earlier claim that they were equals. It was strange.
I'm not saying it's bad, mind you, I was just left scratching my head not knowing how to feel when I finished reading.
4810570 I don't think a thousand facehoofs could cover it. That actually physically hurt
Wow.....so much to comment, where do I even start? Awesome chapter.
4810531 4810570 4810893
Yeah, I'm not entirely sure if these are positive or negative....
4810624
Thank you, I spent way too much time on that so I'm glad that they are appreciated.
4810746
My only real defense, other than things that will become apparent in subsequent chapters, is that Luna is not well acquainted with being not 'Princess' Luna. The only pony she's let her mask down for in a great many years is Celestia and poking at each other is just what they do. So why shouldn't she do that around Twilight as well?
It was a good way to further the story but it really hit me in the feels cuz luna is best pony.
4811434 honestly I wasn't trying to make it sound bad or good just that I never saw it played out so bluntly to the point that I could feel the pain from that remark. Sense I read the chapter I was put into a slightly downed mood. And no I'm not trying to explain myself even if that's what it seems like it's just what was going through my head at the time. (wow I wish I could word stuff like this better)
But it was still a good chapter none the less.
Yep...undeniable proof that Luna is the best princess.
4811434
I would say that since you managed to make me physically feel a slap from a line in your story, you did rather well on this chapter. Or at least that scene.
(Excluding the notion that you technically abused me)
4812039
It's only abuse if you don't enjoy it, else it's just foreplay.
i.imgur.com/GIsxa.gif
It felt like Twilight proceeded to the slap a bit too quickly. A little more lead up and that would have flowed perfectly. Other than that minor complaint, excellent chapter.
That betrayal comment. Also, if Twilight idolizes Celestia to the point where she's basically unable to tolerate anything but perfection regarding her, how will she feel when she finds out her mentor has... 'needs?'
4814731
With a spit take followed by three years of therapy?
4814939 Only three? Wow, my psychologist is ripping me the fuck off
Oh fuck...Luna made a big mistake here.
Them's fightin' words, Twilight.
4817794
...How?
daaaaaamn. on both of them.
Luna needs to get off her high horse and twilight needs to realize that Lulu and Tia have a close relationship that allows for some teasing. but the implication that the element of magic knows magic wrong is worrying. I hope that the artistic magic will merely be different from mathamagic.
4819690
Hopefully your worries will be answered in the next chapter.
The first story could have been a bit longer and more drawn out. It was excellently done, and was very romantic.This second one looks promising enough. I worry though. Worst-case-scenario: Heartbreak and pain on all three involved ponies. Best-Case-Scenario: Three-ways and a weird-ass relationship.
4821419
Thank you.
4827608
Yes, it was a little rushed. Looking back, I wish I'd spent a little more time on Luna getting used to the idea, but wishes and pigs and all that.
The original draft here had Twilight issue a public challenge (not knowing who it was) for the right to court Luna that Celestia would have been legally obligated to meet. Cue huge public reveal that stuns the nation.
Fortunately, I was talked down from that (no matter how epic it would have been).
4827758
... "what if" one-off story?
out of 5
OI, that was great mate! Hope to read more soon!
4836268
I could probably do that... random one shot that ends with Celestia doming Luna and Twi... I'll consider it.
4837553 4858615
Glad you're enjoying it.
Broca
________________
*Speachless*
I love this.
Not only the description of the magic is wonderful, but I just loved seeing Twilight being put in her place and told that she is not equal to them.
5357113
Well, that's a first. I'm pleased that you are enjoying it.
Ok, well I think you just took my best interpretation of Luna ever card. It's good to know Twilight's head didn't explode from the awesomeness that is Luna's super colors.
That name needs to become canon. It's perfect for Twilight's new residence.
Twilight really had no right to yell at Luna nor pull out any mention of Nightmare Moon. Luna was right in knowing Celestia for longer than Twilight, and she was only trying to tease, not insult Twilight.
8340067
Wahtiff
Well had she still been a unicorn I’d agree with you, but since Luna’s insistence on being equals and her literal Celestia worship anything not conforming to her image of the sun alicorn is a personal affront. I’d be more concerned if she didn’t flip out in this situation. The reference to Nightmare Moon was from anger and rash comeback, she’ll probably feel horrible about mentioning that later.
5499245
Either Lunacy Is Expected or Progress takes it, and both are here.
Pulling