The Frozen gate of Tartarus

by Optimistic Pessimist

Epilogue

Twilight sat there in the plains, looking up at the sky. It was a bright day, and clouds floated by carefree. Green fields faded into deep green forest. The light blue sky was scheduled to be clear all afternoon that day. Twilight sighed. She looked around.

It had been at least a week since the Tartarus incident. All the ponies in Canterlot had been moved back to Ponyville, and the snow left behind by Cyroxim and the Windigoes had been removed and melted.

Cyroxim. How she missed him. She looked around. The remains of her own golem of frost was still there, as big as it was back then.

"Heh. Goes to show how much hate I had after all." Twilight looked over to Cerberus, who stared at her curiously. "No, I don't expect you to remember me. You weren't here for it anyway." Twilight sighed again. "Why..." Her brow twisted in anger. A howl echoed through the sky. Twilight looked up and howled a long, pained cry. Twilight sighed. "No, there's no hate here. Go away."

Twilight was suddenly alerted of a small flapping sound. She turned to find the Princess standing there. "Hello Princess Celestia..." The Princess smiled. "Why so gloomy today? It's beautiful out, thanks to you!" Twilight sighed. "That's the problem. I know I should be happy and yet..." She couldn't continue.

The Princess sat down next to Twilight. "Is it about Cyroxim?" Twilight hesitated, but slowly nodded. The Princess looked out to Tartarus. "You know the story of Cyroxim right?" Twilight nodded. "He was kicked out when he was just three, and his heart froze over from his hate. He kept Windigoes like pets, and with their help defeated Cronus." Celestia nodded. "That's true." The Princess looked over to the icy ruins. "That was me, a week ago." The Princess stared in disbelief. "Yeah. I still don't believe it either."

Celestia looked back to her student. Twilight was so sad over losing Cyroxim. "You know, when you live for as long as I do, you can see anything about anypony." Twilight looked up indifferently to the Princess. "I look back at Cyroxim now and I say, wow, this stallion is amazing. Do you know why?" Twilight shook her head. "His mind was so dark and down to earth. Anything that happened, he'd be blaming himself. He firmly believed that what goes around, comes around." Twilight knew that already. She could tell, even if she was only with him for two days. "He resented love and others." That made Twilight turn her head.

"That changed from his hate of others into the hate for himself. He hated himself for being so foolish as to love in the first place. He saw his mother had cried for him, and he shed a few tears as well. He led himself to believe that if you have nothing to lose, then no pain will come to you." Celestia looked down to the ground. "I've heard him myself. 'Suffer, and let no one suffer with you. Live, so that no one will miss you.'"

Twilight Sparkle looked back to the icy ruins of the frost golem. Whatever his life motto was, it hadn't worked. She missed him, and he was frozen in ice with a gaping hole where his heart was. Maybe he'll live, like in the legends, but it wasn't likely unless he had help. Twilight had moved him to the peaks of the nearby mountain. She looked out over the Everfree Forest. She remembered it as the peak to the left of the river that ran through Ponyville. She held her own hoof against her heart, and wondered what it felt like to be skewered through the heart. She surely felt that way.

The Princess put her hoof around Twilight. "Hey. I've had my fair share of that. Unfair share, actually. Cheer up." Twilight stared after the Princess as she flew away.

Twilight sat there, alone. She looked again to the mountain where she had left Cyroxim. Her vision began to blur, and the mountain began to wave, as if it were just a dream. Twilight broke out into a sob. She began to think to herself. Why hadn't she stepped in sooner? Why did she trust him to finish the job? She had felt in her heart that he wasn't ready. So why? Why did she let him go?

The howl of a Windigo cut into Twilights' thoughts. Her brows furrowed, and she lifted her head. A howl from beyond the depths of Tartarus echoed through the plains. Cerberus cowered in fear from the pure hate and pain. Twilight breathed heavily, tears streaming down her face. She couldn't stop shuddering.

Another howl. But this time, Twilight stopped. It wasn't a Windigo this time. It was a mimic, even if was near perfect.

It was a howl from a pony.

Twilight looked up to find dark clouds of blizzards coming ever nearer. She stared up in wonder, completely ignoring the freezing tears on her face. Twilight sat there, numb not in cold, but in amazement, as a twister touched down to the ground in front of her. She stared intently as the tornado of wind and ice slowly lost power.

Twilight began to recognize the pony. A unicorn. With white and frosty blue mane and a deep blue coat. Eyes as cold as the blizzard in which he came. It was clear it was Cyroxim, but how?

Twilight looked down to his chest. The gaping hole was gone, and in its place was a bare chest, free of any ice shards.

Twilight looked back up to Cyroxim. He looked back at her. They stared at each other in the freezing wind that would've shooed any other pony away.

"Funny. I thought you called for me." Cyroxim looked up to the Windigoes that had brought him there. Twilight looked also. She noticed the blizzard was noticeably weaker than when she last saw them. With a short growl from Cyroxim, they departed, leaving them in a bright sunny day filled with snow.

They looked at each other again. Twilight just sat there. She couldn't believe it. Her mouth quivered.

"How?"

For the first time since Twilight saw him, he smiled. It was a soft smile, welcoming and warm. "Don't worry about the how. I'm here again, sooner than I would've ever thought possible."

The numb expression on Twilight face began to turn up. She ran to him and fell into his arms, sobbing into his shoulder. Cyroxim chuckled. "What were you doing out here all alone?" Twilight sniffled. "I was busy trying to get over you." She sobbed, Cyroxim patting her on the back. "Well, you don't have to now."

He looked up to the sky to a lone cloud. There, atop the cloud, sat Princess Celestia. Cyroxim smiled again. He mouthed slowly.

"Thank you."

The Princess simply smiled, and flew away. Cyroxim looked back at Twilight and smiled.

The Frozen Gate of Tartarus had melted, and in its place stood:

The Eternal Seal of Love

The End

Comments

[EvilBob]

A bit cheesy, that ending was.

I dunno. I felt like this story was somehow limited. the idea and concept were great enough to be a standalone with completely new characters However, because mane 6 were used, it felt a bit forced and rushed; it didn't really match their personalities and went a bit against the grain.

The character with the best and most characterization in this story was Cyroxim. That's probably because he's a an OC and you were forced to seriously consider his attributes and how he would react. As such, he had the most believable actions and seemed most thought out. In contrast, the mane 6 seemed kinda just thrown in there for lolz and didn't really contribute to the story. The part of the other 5 fighting with new-fangled weapons never introduced in the canon could have been cut out with negligible impact on overall story.

There's too much known about the Mane6 and too much backstory and characterization that's already built up for them in both canon and fanon. This works against you when you're building a creative story that also appeals to readers. You got away with it in Evil Lyra because those were minor characters the story could be built such that it also required substantive characterization to make the story flow. That was missing for this one.

The concept also made be raise an eyebrow. Fighting evil with hate?

Anyway. Decent story.

[Optimistic Pessimist]

504490
That is my only problem. I rush everything. I can't do anything slowly or perfectly.
I really need to take time, sit down and think things through.
I appreciate critique, but at this point, it's kind of like I know what to expect.
Thanks for reading! I'll try to slow down my everything.

[EvilBob]

504512 You know, there's nothing wrong at all with NOT trying to write the entire story before posting it! (Madness, right? )

Instead, have the overarching plot in the back of your mind (which I'm sure you usually have already) and release each chapter as it comes out. The downside (for you that is), is that you'd have to make each chapter longer and focus on the details to make it good - serialization at it's finest!

[Optimistic Pessimist]

504675
I'm not really sure if you mean, "Finish the story before posting it."
Or, "Finish it while it's up."
Care to clarify?

[EvilBob]

504775 I mean have some overarching plot in mind (which can be subject to change): eg the overarching plot for whole of Harry Potter series would be: boy wizard injured by Evil Overlord. Injury binds them. Injury leads to defeat of Evil Overlord. Happily Ever After. The End.

However, notice how the story hasn't actually been written or even come close to being written...

You would basically be posting chapters as you write them, after your satisfied with the chapters. Think serialization, eg Charles Dickens' novels.

Does that make any more sense to you? If not, feel free to ask what's confusing you and I'll try to clarify more.