"I'm sorry, but Twilight isn't taking any visitors at the moment, she-"
Twilight muttered a soft curse as her listening spell crackled out of focus, and she lost spike's voice in a haze of staticky feedback. Shameful. She was getting out of practice...much too out of practice for her liking, but it had to be done. The strenuous spells that made up her usual magic regimen were strictly off limits. Too risky. She absolutely could not allow anything to go wrong.
Not with this.
Closing her eyes she tried to focus her magic onto the conversation in the foyer. She had little energy to dip into for the spell, even though it was infuriatingly simple. Most of her magic was siphoned off constantly to maintain a much, much more important spell. Even then she had been forced to stay in bed for the past six or seven weeks. Even with magic, getting up and moving around in her...condition...would be incredibly dangerous.
With one last frustrated push, the listening spell fizzled back to life.
"Please" a voice pleaded, too fuzzy to make out it's owner "It's been months"
Ten months and twenty days, to be exact.
Spikes voice tuned in, in reply "I'm sorry princess, but she really cannot see you"
Princess? Twilight's mouth hardened into a flat line as a face immediately sprang to mind...but no. Twilight hadn't spoken to her since, well, since the day that took away any reason for twilight to speak to her ever again, that manipulative, lying-
No. It was probably Luna, maybe Cadence. She hadn't spoken to Cadence in a long time, longer that she liked, but that was Cadence's decision. The years had changed her, the loss of Shining Armour, broken her. When she had picked up the peices, she didn't quite come back the same. Twilight missed Cadence.
The unidentifiable voice cut back in, loud, desperate. "You have to let me see her! I need to see my..." the voice broke off, started up again "I need to see my old student. Please"
Twilight bit the inside of her cheek. Hard. She could recognize it now. As quick as thought, magic fueled by the burning inside her, she reached her mind down to the foyer. The doors to her palace slammed shut, and held fast with the help of a thousand different protection spells that had been woven into the walls of her castle years ago. It seemed like an eternity, maybe it was.
There was a soft knock at the door, followed by a creak as Spike pushed it open, poking his head inside. No longer a baby dragon, though not yet fully grown, Spike stood a good head above her now when fully upright. Currently he was stooped over, shoulders hunched so his spines wouldn't it the door frame. His barbed tail flicked uncertainly.
"Are you okay?" he said softly, the rumbling timbre of his voice bringing some comfort to Twilight.
She gave a nod. Once. Too quickly.
Her oldest friend gave her a knowing look, then turned back through the door and shut it gingerly behind him, politely leaving her so she could cry in private.
In about an hour, he would bring her some hot tea.
A soft sob shook Twilight's body. She knew this routine all too well.
Soon though, soon it would all be worth it, all the isolation, all the pain. She would have them back.
Celestia's lies didn't matter any more. All the deceit she had been spoon fed for years would no longer be of any importance.
She was Twilight Sparkle. She had unknowingly cheated the grim reaper once. Celestia be damned if she wasn't going to cheat him again for her friends. She would bring them back, this was her long, tiresome, difficult labor of love and she was going to bring them back.
Labor of love. Twilight giggled weakly at the pun, eyes still watering, then wriggled her body awkwardly in order to shift into a more comfortable position.
It was hard finding an agreeable way to lie down when pregnant with five foals.
Her friends were worth it.
Her friends were worth that and more.
It was a complex magic she was weaving with her body and her soul, the power to bring the spirit resident within a talisman to flesh, to create it through herself. It was old too, ancient.
Twilight wondered if anyone had possessed the nerve to try it, before her.
She had stumbled upon it years ago, in the castle of the twin sisters, before she knew why they had died, before she knew who had caused it. Celestia had told her not to use it, so she hadn't. Then things changed. She re-evaluated her choice.
The inception of the spell was easy, if uncomfortable. It had not been difficult to memorize the incantation, nor to change her appearance via a magic so she wouldn't be recognized. Seducing a stallion had been almost laughably easy, though it wasn't like she picked a difficult target. A soft hoof around the neck, a well timed flick of the tail, a purring voice asking where she could get a drink in the place. By the second frilly cocktail she was being ushered to some stallion's home.
It was the first time she had ever been with some pony.
By the time she had ever thought to seek a partner, she was already aware of her vice like grip on this reality, her ability to continue drawing breath as all of those she had loved and known slipped away. Taking a mate would have just been hurting herself.
Not that she never considered it.
Sometimes she thought that even the stinging sharpness of loss might be better than the grey she lived in.
That was the easy part though, the brief, awkward tangle with a pony she barely knew, the casting of the spell, the hasty teleportation away once he was finally asleep.
It was once the spell had been cast when things got difficult.
Ponies usually only gave birth to one foal, occasionally two. Three was incredibly rare, and more that that, practically unheard of. The pony body just wasn't built to carry five foals. Most of her magic was going into ensuring the safety of the pregnancy. Twilight knew very well that she couldn't be harmed, but the same didn't apply to....her friends? Her children? Them.
She couldn't lose them again.
Twilight was asleep before Spike could come with her tea.
Twilight opened her eyes, feeling the powerful light shine through them as she lifted into the air, not even needing to flap her wings. Before them loomed a great, shadowy figure, flexing myriad sinewy arms of darkness towards them. Somewhere in the middle of the inky mass, a great maw opened, a sullen red light shining through it like a portal to the depth of Tartarus. She was not afraid. Twilight felt the familiar tug of the elements, the rushing rainbow of power, shooting towards the abomination, wrapping it in tendrils of light.
Fluttershy was the first one to scream.
Twilight looked back, fear shooting through her mind, she frantically, desperately, fruitlessly, tried to end the spell. She was trapped by the elements, helpless to do anything but feel the hot-bubbling panic squeezing her heart as the rest of her friends voices joined in, screams harmonizing with those of the monsters in a chorus of agony. Another cry reached her ears, fuzzy, out of focus, her own, not of pain but of anguish. Tears streamed down her face as she fought hysterically to break free, struggling within the grip of the magic, powerless, defenseless, useless.
She collapsed to the ground in a heap, eyes squinted tightly shut, cradling her head. The only thing worse than hearing her friend's agony moment ago, was the absolute silence she heard now. Not a single rustling wing, or drawn breath, or twitched tail, just her own heart, beating "NO NO NO" against her ears.
Twilight opened her eyes to see the monster rebuilding itself, slowly stretching upward, regrowing it's myriad of hideous limbs, lengthening, changing, still a monster, but now different, almost familiar. Glaring at it, she stood up on shaking legs, eyes burning, teeth aching from clenching them so hard, ears still ringing with the screams of her friends.
She was alone.
The abomination let out a roar that shook Twilight's bones. She did not flinch. Fury washed through the alicorn like a tidal was as she launched into the air, burning with rage. A flare of magic shot through her horn, striking the monster directly in the middle. It staggered backward, and Twilight's eyes narrowed with cold satisfaction. She another beam of magic, and another, and another, a primal scream building up inside of her as she twisted her head back for one last blow.
A clawed hand shot out, grabbing her around the torso. As the vice like grip slowly pulled her inward, Twilight shrank her wings disappearing, limbs shortening, she tried to call upon her magic only to find there was none in her new, tiny, filly body.
The monster brought it up directly to its eye.
It had the face of Celestia
"No! No, you're lying!" Twilight screamed "You said the monster killed them! You said it was monster! You bastard!" a choked sob escaped her "...you monster."
The Celestia-thing looked down on her, giving a smile that might have been mistaken for pity, if not for the jagged teeth.
"Oh Twilight..." it said softly, almost gently, a voice unfit for such an awful form "I'm only doing what's best for you"
Then the grip around Twilight's middle tightened, searing agony shooting through her torso, razor claws digging into her-
Twilight woke up with a short scream, head shooting upwards as her pulse raced in her ears. Then her eyes widened in panic.
Not because of the dream. She had been having that nightmare for a long time. Almost every time she slept. It was always the same.
What shot fear through her heart, was the shooting pain in her stomach.
It was still there.
Twilight opened her mouth, fear tugging at her throat
"Spike!"
not exactly into the idea that celestia got the other mane six killed.......... like at all.
love this story and
Spike and twi forever!!!
This looks interesting, it needs some serious work, but the idea has potential. I shall follow this for now and see where it goes.
4507724 I agree with that sentiment.
However, if we get to see Celestia's reasoning behind it I will know whether she is to be a villain, misguided mother figure, or if she just made a mistake. So far the premise is enough to keep me interested in seeing where this goes. I will happily be giving you updates as this progresses. Updates like, "Oh I liked that chapter," or, "That was a little boring," or, "Hey! You spelled 'flowers' wrong."
4507724 I think that's more of a misunderstanding on twilight's part.
4507724
It could be about interpretation, about Twilight feeling that Celestia is directly or indirectly responsible, whether it's true or not doesn't matter because it's what Twilight feels
I'd recommend getting someone to proofread your chapters before you release them, but the idea itself is one I'm quite intrigued about. You have my attention.
Seems like a good start.
i really like the story but i got to know how come Twilight did not add Shining Armour to this spell since he is her bbbff and her is just as in portent to her as her friends
Well that was... something.
I look forward to seeing what new things you have to bring with this story.
Oh...my
Thank you so much everybody for all the comments
Just, wow.
I'll definitely take into consideration all your feedback (Especially the comments about proofreading, I know that's definitely one of the areas I struggle with) and I really, really appreciate it.
WOW!! Seriously, I think there was a fic or two who tried something like this. But in all honesty, I want to see where you go with it! I'm liking this so far, and can hardly wait for more!! Good luck, and man do I want to see how Tia screwed up here.
Hummmm, seems interesting. This will be in the read later until there are at least 3 more chapters.
4508372 I feel that is probly closest to the truth. Celestia has always been a motherly figure, albeit a medlesome one, and her concern for Twilight is in line with that charactor.
My question is how will the other Five feel about this? They may be foles now but how will they react when they are older? Would they want to be reincarnated (perhaps multiple times) to be with eachother again? Will they be the same ponies they once were after a different upbringing? Will Twilight regard them as her friends or her children? How will they see each other?
Will the princess attempt to end these 'abominations'?
What, if anything, will they remember?
Is Celestia evil?
awesome start to a promising story.
At the summary you had my curiosity. . . now you have my attention.
Very interesting concept for a story. I can see so many possibilities with this one.
It needs a little work in editing, but not so distracting that it takes away from the story.
I can't wait to see what you do with this. I will definitely be watching this one.
You have aroused....my curiousness for this story
Could have sworn I read a oneshot with pretty much this exact premise
EDIT - Ah, I did
I didn't know what to expect, clicking on the link, but I think this is honestly one of the most interesting concepts I've ever chanced across. I'm surprised at the ingenuity and flow you've employed here. I do, however, have a few concerns:
-The "monster" you described could be referenced as something less...bland. Perhaps give it a name or something of the sort. I don't picture Celestia being all "Oh, Twilight, don't cry, I know what killed your friends. A monster." ..See what I mean?
-Your spacing is a little iffy, we see walls of text instead of neat, spaced-apart paragraphs.
-A fair amount of grammatical errors sitting around throughout the fic.
It appears that despite the calls for editing, nobody is offering services. I'm opening the option of taking a run thru and PM'ing changes if you'd prefer.
Hoping to see this become something great!
~Dash The Stampede
Hmm I've read a story like this before, where Twilight returns her friends back into babies and repeats this cycle for a few hundred years before Celestia puts and end to it.
Okay. The idea of Twilight 'giving birth' to her friends has me curious. According to Twilight's nightmare, Celestia, disguised as a monster, killed her friends. I am anxious to find out what really happened. As for what Twilight is doing, using magic like this to recreate life, has to have a steep price.
"There are three sides to every story."
4509092
Didn't Bad Horse or Obs do one like this? Where Twilight would age-regress the remaining girls (Fluttershy died of old age, which made Twilight snap in the first place) back to foals each time they were about to die. And she'd educate them each time on how to be a perfect clone of the girls she knew the first time around?
And Celestia showed up trying to convince Twilight to stop fucking around with nature and what she was doing to the girls was beyond monstrosity.
Nice so far.
Just a note, 'prolouge' is actually spelt 'prologue'.
Hmmm interesting. this bears watching to see where it goes.
4507724
Is the shift key on your computer broken or something? Because I never see you use capitalization in your posts...ever.
4509732 what a fitting avatar...
This story has all the earmarks of a spectacularly ugly train wreck in the making, and I'm not taking that ride with you. I wish you the best of luck trying to make this work.
You absolutely MUST get an editor and prereader.
This is an extremely interesting story. I do suggest you get a proofreader, but here's a quick tip. Every time you have quotation marks, make sure to put a comma or period (or exclamation or question mark!) at the end. For example:
Becomes
Punctuation aside, the premise is interesting and I can't wait to see where this goes.
-Spirit
With some editing here and there could improve the already awesome story into something more amazing.
4509866
It was this story here. I'm be interested to see where The-Pony-Librarian takes this plot bunny.
Having them killed left a dark taste to this prologue, dying of old age would've been fine. Maybe add a dark tag? It feels dark
You know what would be awesome?Them still having their memories.Id like to see this premise.
Needs spacing but apart from that-... I am so following it.
God I want to see more of this. It actually sounds like an interesting story and has my attention like a Venus fly-trap has a fly.
I'll be watching this one and see where it goes. To let you know, however, you have big shoes to fill with a premise like this one. Best of luck!
4510327 It's been done before yes, but as you said let us see how this one works out. Any author can put a new spin on a classic story and make something worthy.
Wait how did they die?
4510473
Oh, well that other story had them dying of old age before Twilight kept unaging them along with Fluttershy having been dead for a long time. So this story is actually different by quite the large margin in that respect. Regardless, I enjoy seeing different renditions of similar ideas so even if it was the 'same" I'd be curious of how it'd go when presented by a different author.
I should have placed that link and my statement of how I was interested in this plot unfolding separately, looks like having them together like that made it seem like they were together in that context.
4509999 because I don't bother using capitalization in just comments.
Please continue, I like where this is going
Please continue! I really like this so far!
Concept flying out of left field for me, but I can roll with it. Digging the sleek creepiness of the whole thing.
I like how twisted the idea is to give birth to your friends, and raise them as your children. this is good :3 I want to see more.
4510488
From old-age I would assume.
I believe that it's spelled "Prologue". I love the story so far! Please continue it.
*sniff* so they died by a monster
This intrigues me, I'll have to keep an eye on this story
4511069
Peek-a boo, I see you!
4507724 You kidding? Celestia routinely sent six unarmed, untrained mares out to face down DRAGONS and MURDEROUS DEMIGODS. It was kind of inevitable she'd get them all killed.