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A Crusade for More

The crusaders discover the legend of the mirror pond and continue on a quest for adventure and no doubt to get a cutie mark with multiple versions of themselves how hard can it be to find their special talent.

Chapters (2)

So the Journey Begins · 16th Jun 2014 · 1,123 words
1,123
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To the mirror pond and beyond · 18th Jun 2014 · 3,291 words
3,291
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Comments ( 7 )

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Lenora Goff

Lenora Goff #1 · Jun 18th, 2014 · · · So the Journey Begins ·

Okay, I'm going to give some constructive criticism here.

If you don't put more than one space between paragraphs, it might come across as more difficult to read. It just sorta started to blend together for me.

Lenora Goff

Lenora Goff #2 · Jun 18th, 2014 · · · To the mirror pond and beyond ·

Another chapter that's being made harder to read by the fact that you didn't put any space between paragraphs. :\

Walls of text are not fun to read.

Comment posted by TheN0tSoNice deleted Jun 18th, 2014

TheN0tSoNice

TheN0tSoNice #4 · Jun 18th, 2014 · · · To the mirror pond and beyond ·

4565878 I fixed it and now it should be easier for you to read.

TheN0tSoNice

TheN0tSoNice #5 · Jun 18th, 2014 · · · To the mirror pond and beyond ·

4565878 I understand now and I'm sorry I hadn't noticed before because I always read with my set-up as Rainbow dash so every time it would go onto the next paragraph there would be a separate color indicating the next paragraph perhaps you should try it and see how you like it, if your still bothered I shall fix it. But I would more interested in what you have to say about the quality of the story.

Lenora Goff