Rainbow Factory
RAINBOW FACTORY
-
"Now a rainbow's tail is quite as nice as the story we knew of sugar and spice."
There have been rumours about rainbows. How they're made. There's a place where they are made. The Rainbow Factory. In Cloudsdale. Rainbow Factory. That's where Spectra's made. It's called the Rainbow Factory. ---
"But a rainbow's easy once you get to know it, with the help of the magic of a pegasus device."
"Well, let's go, Orion; the test is a-waitin'!" Scootaloo called to a friend of hers.
Scootaloo was older, and she was going to take her flight exam. She hoped to pass. She was nervous. She wanted her cutie-mark.
Orion looked at the gathering of colts and fillies, gulping with shot nerves, sweating like a dog. "I dunno, Scoots'," he said; "looks pretty spine-aching and nerve-racking."
"What's wrong, Orion? Afraid of failing?"
"Yeah."
"Oh.
Well, I ain't gonna! I got tips from Rainbow Dash, the best flyer ever, so I'mma be fine! You, I dunno, but you'll do fine, Orion, don't sweat it! The only one who might fail is that loser over here!" Scootaloo lifted a hoof towards a yellow pegasus with a green and blue mane. Orion looked to her as well. He went silent.
"...Orion?" Scootaloo questioned, nudging Orion slightly. "ORION."
"Huh?" Orion said, wiping the drool from his muzzle. "Oh, sorry, Scoots'; it's just...that mare...Wow..."
"Oh, brother." Scootaloo said, rolling her eyes. Orion wouldn't take his eyes off the mare pegasus of yellow. "Can ya imagine, though? Everypony goin', 'Whoa, Scootaloo's so cool! I want her for president?!' Sounds cool, right?"
"...Yeah," Orion agreed in a slurred voice, Scootaloo noticing his face turning red as he gazed more intensely at the yellow pegasus.
"Hey, Orion?"
"Huh?" Orion replied. Scootaloo gave him a quick smack on the top of his head, and Orion shook his head. "Sorry. That-a would be somethin', though. They'd love us."
"Yup. Praise the Flock."
"Uh-huh. I wonder if the Flock's latest song has come out..."
"I dunno." Scootaloo shrugged.
Their conversation was cut short, as a tall, buff, pure-white pegasus trotted up at a podium, an intense and angry look on his face. On his head was a baseball cap, reading, "FU." This of course stood for "Flight University." He looked like he was going to punch somepony to pieces at any moment. Scootaloo squinted her eyes, and the buff stallion's eyes almost looked red as she focused on them. She gulped.
"Places, every-fuckin'-pony," he said. "Sit down; sit. Down. SIT THE FUC-- oh, good, you're all sitting! Alright, now stand the fuck back up; that's disres-fuckin'-pectful." And every filly and colt there immediately stood back up from where they sat.
"What's up with that guy?" Orion whispered to Scootaloo.
"I dunno. Forgot to take his morning steroids?" she shrugged.
"ALL-FUCKIN'-RIGHT," the instructor continued; "WHEN I CALL YOUR NAME, YOU WILL GET THE FUCK OVER HERE AND FLY. AND WHEN I SAY 'FLY,' I FUCKIN' MEAN 'FLY;' DO YOU ALL FUCKIN' GET ME?! YOU WILL FLY, GO THROUGH HOOPS, EVEN FUCKIN' EXPLODE IF I SAY SO! GOT IT?!"
The fillies and colts were quiet.
"Alright," the instructor took a breath; "good! Glad everypony understands! Okay, line up!" And with that, every filly and colt there lined into a neat, straight line, their eyes completely straight, as the instructor trotted back and forth like a drill sergeant, grunting and cursing under his breath.
Scootaloo glanced at the judges sitting at the table on the cloud just nearby. One looked bored, his face leaning onto his hoof; another was reading a novel; and the last one there was pointing his hoof down. One of the other judges slapped that judge's hoof. "Oh, sorry, force of habit," he said.
"O-FUCKIN'-KAY! Everypony under-fuckin'-stand?!"
Every filly and colt gave a quick nod, some even saluting.
"Well," the instructor said; "THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO FUCKIN' SEE. I'm Mr. Fuck, by the way, for those who don't know. NOW LET'S GET THIS DAMN TEST STARTED. AURORA DAWN, YOU'REEEEEEE UP! Clear, fly, whatever, just do it!" The yellow pegasus then nodded.
"Sure thing!" she trotted up to the ramp, confidence in her stance. Nothing could ruin her day. Nothing. Not even a Rainbow Factory. Or could it? Every judge nodded, and she took off, into the skies...only for a sudden spasm to strike three seconds later, her entire body SNAPPING and tensing up instantly, and the rest of her falling to the ground with a wave of green, blue and yellow. Poor Aurora.
Orion's eyes widened. "NOOOOO!!" he cried out into the skies, tears beginning to form. The judges pointed their hooves down, and Aurora's exam was over. Next stop, failure-ville!
Mr. Fuck flew down to Orion, a look of pity appearing on his expression. "I'm sorry, champ," he said, patting Orion on the back. "Stand down, friend...It's not your day."
"But what now, pop?" Orion asked, looking up to Mr. Fuck both literally and figureatively, a single tear shooting down his face.
"Now?" Mr. Fuck replied.
"Yeah."
"Now...
IT'S YOUR FUCKIN' TURN." And with that, Mr. Fuck kicked Orion up to the ramp, Orion landing on his face. He laid there for two seconds before scurrying up. He shook his head. "NOW FLY THROUGH THAT FUCKIN' COURSE AND MAKE ME PROUD."
"Sure thing, pushy," Orion muttered.
"What was that?"
"I-I mean, yes, sir!"
"Better. Clear, fly, fail--fuck...I mean, FALL...complete, got it?"
"Fuck?!" one colt called out from the crowd. "We have to fuck?!"
"NO," Mr. Fuck quickly replied. "JUST FUCKIN' FLY."
The colt went quiet.
Orion rolled his eyes and took off, not even awaiting the judges' approval, the little rebel. As he finished clearing the skies, he took notice of Aurora, time beginning to slow down in Orion's world as his heart-rate spiked up. He shook his head before he went off-coarse. "No," he muttered to himself; "I can't...I mus'nt! Ah, what the hay?" he flew down to Aurora, folding his wings up.
Mr. Fuck gasped deeply. "O-Orion?! I thought you were cool, dude!"
Orion looked up to Mr. Fuck with a broad chin. "I'm sorry, sir," he replied; "but when I saw her, and looked into her loving eyes, I knew she was for me..."
Mr. Fuck began to develop tears in his eyes. The judges also looked taken aback, and one had already begun to play a violin. Scootaloo looked around, trying to gather what was going on. "OH, come on!" she said. "Can we please just get on with the test, si--"
"DON'T YOU FUCKIN' TELL ME WHAT TO DO, MAGGOT." was Mr. Fuck's reply.
"...Y-yes, sir."
Mr. Fuck looked back to Orion. "Orion," he said with a melodramatic tone. "If she is truly that much to you, then go to her! Be by her side, in sickness and in health, 'till death do you part!"
"I will," Orion replied.
"Does that make you too, Aurora?" Mr. Fuck asked, glancing at Aurora.
"I will," she said.
Orion could no longer contain himself, and he turned Aurora's head, embracing her into a sweet kiss, all three judges now each having their own personal romantic instrument, and playing it with their very soul and being.
Scootaloo stared with a blank face. "Wat," she said.
Mr. Fuck shook his head. "A-anyway!" he said, flicking a tear from his eye. "N-next! Scootaloo! Clear, fly, fall, blah, blah, yadda, yadda!"
"Yeah, sure, whatever." Scootaloo casually trotted up to the ramp, doing a quick stretch and taking a few breaths.
"Hey!" one colt called from the crowd. "What about us? When do the rest of us get to fly?"
"What about you?" Mr. Fuck replied. "You're not main characters."
Scootaloo took off, the judges not paying any attention at this point.
"Hey," one judge said to the other; "what's up?"
"Not a lot," the second judge replied.
"Y'know, my brother's a comedian."
"Is he?"
"Yup. His name's Jerry."
"Is he funny?
"Seems to be, yeah. Great comedian."
"How's the pay?"
"Must be pretty dang good for how funny he is."
"Heh, nice. I need to get somethin' like that."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
The third was sleeping, snoring away. One judge clapped his hooves in front of the third, and he snapped awake. "Oh, sorry, what'd I miss?" he said.
"Not much. I think this one's about to fail."
"Oh, okay."
"Should we watch?"
"Not much else to do." And so they watched Scootaloo clear the skies, fly, take her dive, etc., boring expressions drawn on their faces. "Hang me."
Scootaloo neared the end of the exam, when Orion came to mind. She tried to focus on flying, but she couldn't help glancing over for just a second. She looked. Orion and Aurora were sweaty, the two of them making out, rarely taking time to breath.
"OH, GET A ROOM, YOU TW--" Scootaloo slammed into a ring, right at the side of her face, and she slid down the ring, eventually landing like a pillow at the ground. She cracked her neck, looking up to the judges.
The judges looked down at her. One looked to the other. "Uh, what now?"
"I think she failed," a judge replied to the other judge.
"Oh."
"Hmm. Inter'stin'."
"Do we aim our hoofs down now?"
"Yes, I suppose so."
"Ah." And with that, they lower their hooves down, and Scootaloo's test was over. She stood up, cracking the rest of her joints. "Fak." She trotted over to Orion and Aurora, knocking them off of each other. "Hi, guys."
"Oh, hello, Scootaloo!" Aurora said with happiness.
Scootaloo looked puzzled. "Didn't you, like, break?"
"I was broken, but Orion's eternal love for me has made me feel reborn! Oh, Orion!" she hopped back onto him, kissing him passionately. Orion went crimson, eventually mustering the strength to push her off.
"Hey, sorry ya failed, Scoots'," Orion remarked. "But, hey! Uh...ya did your best..?"
"Gee, thanks," Scootaloo replied. "Some friend."
"Well, at least I'm not ORANGE."
"Take that back, BROWN!"
"Oh, it's ON!"
"Guys, guys!" Aurora exclaimed. "Let's not fight! The world should be filled with love, so don't hate! Love."
"Love," Orion replied.
"Yeah, sure," Scootaloo rolled her eyes once again. "So, now what do we--"
Horns from at least five different kinds of cars blared from the air, and the trio looked up, seeing a flying, beaten-down-looking carriage, with spray-paint on the sides, the wheels appearing as though they'd fall off at any moment. It looked to have some sort of magical aura around it. It came closer, and closer. Bigger, and bigger. It eventually came crashing down onto the ground, doing two flips and sliding across the ground, leaving scorches and flames where it slid. Luckily, it landed on its wheels. The door fell off. ---
"Let's delve deeper into rainbow philosophy, far beyond that of Cloudsdale's mythology. It's easy to misjudge that floating city, with its alluring decor, and social psychology."
Scootaloo, Orion and Aurora looked to see a single worn-down-looking stallion, a piece of wheat protruding from his mouth, and over-alls hanging from his body. The stallion spit the wheat out, a friendly smile on his face. He didn't notice the three. He stepped out of his carriage--if you could call it that, and took a nice look around, looking to be enjoying the air. Aurora took a small step forward.
"Uh, excuse m--"
The stallion finally noticed the three. He looked at them, and immediately his everything changed. His neck strained with many veins, his teeth grinded together, his eyes shot open with tense veins in them, and his face went red like a thermostat.
"OH," he exclaimed; "you must be the LOSERS." Before they could speak, he zipped to their sides. "COME ON; GET IN, YA WORTHLESS FAILURES." He grabbed Scootaloo, slung her in, and proceeded to kick Orion and Aurora into the carriage along with Scootaloo. The carriage shook as he hopped into the driver's seat. Yes, there was a driver's seat, with a steering wheel. In a carriage. "Alright, let's go," he snorted. He casually gripped the wheel, and the carriage went flying into the air, sparks shooting off behind.
Aurora spoke up, "Hey, where are we go--"
"Shut up." He snorted, "I need my tunes!" He flipped on a radio--in a carriage--and Jingle Bells X-mas music played, as he began to head-bang.
"What the hay?!" Scootaloo yelled out.
"Shut up, FAILURE! We're almost there!" he snorted. The carriage jumbled and bumped up and down, Scootaloo, Orion and Aurora bouncing along with it occasionally. He slumped a hoof to the side, and Scootaloo looked annoyed, Orion looked puzzled, and Aurora seemed slightly scared. Orion took notice of this, and used a wing to draw Aurora closer to himself, the two touching noses. Scootaloo gagged.
"So," the driver continued; "ya failed your fuckin' flight test, huh? Makes me sick. You're fuckin' stupid, and wherever we're goin', I don't care. I just get paid." He snorted. "I don't fuckin' understand this job, but I just do what I do, y'know? They even gave me this weird fuckin' mustache, but I don't wear it."
The three remained silent, awkwardly.
As Orion was about to speak up, the carriage came to a crashing halt, the three slamming forward as the driver remained utterly still. "Guess what," he said. "We're fuckin' here." In a moment's time, he zipped behind the three of them. "GET OUT!" he kicked them out, all three landing onto the ground. Scootaloo looked up, and Orion and Aurora stood, glancing at each other suggestively. Scootaloo hopped up, looking at her surroundings. It was dark, and horror-inducing. The driver hopped out, trotting into another direction. Scootaloo looked to him. He trotted up to two buff-looking pegasi--quite in contrast to himself--who stared at him. They looked to be wearing black suits. "What?" one of them asked.
"You're kiddin', right?" the driver said. "Gimme my bits! I drove the dumb, worthless, good-for-nothin', stupid, putrid, abysmal failures here, now PAY!" He approached one of the suited ponies, getting uncomfortably close to him. "Pay," he simply stated. "Pay."
The suited pony glanced to the other, then back to the driver. "Nah," he said.
"Wat."
The suited pony reached to his side, taking from a side-holster a small tazer, that he quickly flipped on, shocking the driver with powerful electricity (intimidating, I know), eventually turning it off, allowing the driver to fall to the ground, jittering and shaking. The suited pony put his tazer away, looking up at Scootaloo, Orion and Aurora. "Oh, right," he said. "This way." He gestured at all three of them.
"What do we do?" Aurora asked, glancing at Orion and Scootaloo.
"Dunno," Scootaloo replied blandly. "Those two kinda look like ninjas...Maybe that's what this is--some kinda ninja-training facility, guys!"
"N-ninjas..?!" Aurora stammered.
As Scootaloo was about to speak up, Orion interrupted, "Don't worry, Aurora." He used his wing to draw Aurora closer. "I won't let anypony hurt you..."
"Oh, Orion..."
"Oh, give me a break." Scootaloo trotted up to the suited pony. "Yes? What happens next?"
The suited pony lifted a hoof, pointing towards the tall, black, blocky building near him. The three looked to it. On the roof were a few stalks, puffing out smoke, along with rainbows shooting out from behind the large facility. "You go in there," he stated.
Scootaloo sighed, "Alright, guys, c'mon, let's go."
Orion kept Aurora, his love, close to him as they trotted along with the suited ponies, reaching a tall, automated door. The suited pony placed his hoof onto a small screen by the side of the door, and it slowly opened up, loud metallic noises sounding. "Alright, let's go," the suited pony stated, gesturing them into the facility.
They walked down a dim hallway with hardly any light source, the main noise heard being their hooves pounding onto the thick cloud floor with each step.
"Neat place," Orion remarked.
"I guess," Scootaloo replied, taking a look around.
"I don't know about this," Aurora said with them. "It seems awfully dark and scary..."
Orion nuzzled Aurora. "Don't worry," he said; "I'm here." With that, Aurora gave a cute cooing sound, planting her head against Orion's heroic chest.
"Dumb foals, huh?" The suited pony guiding them said to the other suited pony.
"Yeah, dumb. 'Cause they failed."
"Heh, yeah."
"Heh, heh."
"Heh, heh."
Orion gave a small growl. "Calm down," Scootaloo said. "No point in being angry here. Let's see what else is here."
Another automated door opened.---
"But with all great things comes a great responsibility, that of Cloudsdale's being weather stability."
More ponies were about, walking and trotting along, every one of them wearing a suit and mask of some sort. Pipes ran along the ceiling, there were machines around, it was busy-looking, etc., etc., etc., you get the picture. Scootaloo blinked, not because her eyes needed to adjust, but because they hurt from the many falls to the ground she'd taken thus far. There was a 'whirr-whirr' here, and a 'vhirr-vhirr' there; here-there, how queer, everywhere a 'whirr-whirr.' Scootaloo gave a fake gasp.
"Hey, guys, I think we're in the, uh, Factory!"
"Ya think so?" Orion remarked.
"Grr."
"I hope everything will be okay and ponies will love us," Aurora stated.
"You bet'cha, baby," Orion said.
As Aurora was about to speak once again, the suited ponies that had guided them froze, and immediately stood to the side, looking to be at attention, along with many other suited ponies in the area.
In the faint distance, they heard hoofsteps, slowly approaching, getting louder with each step. They looked forward, to see a figure of a pony, his face concealed by the darkness. He was wearing a lab-coat, and looked to have a red coat. He slowly stepped out of the darkness, his sinister smile showing, along with the rest of his Norman-Bates-look. He seemed to be wearing a monocle. He lifted his hooves into the air as if to show a great show.
"Welcome, MULES!" he called out, following it with a long laugh.
Scootaloo sighed. "Oh, great, who's this?"
"I d-dunno," Orion replied; "but he's creeping me out..!"
"What." Scootaloo turned to Orion, who was hugging Aurora tightly. "You're kiddin'!"
"YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE?" The pegasus in the lab-coat continued. "OH, don't worry; I'll answer for you! Actually, scratch that; go ahead, let's test your menial knowledge."
"Uh...Weather Factory?" Scootaloo asked.
"Ah, you got something right! Not bad for a FAILURE; yes, that's where we are--Cloudsdale, in fact, ohoho! You're stupid. You'll spend the rest of your lives here; ain't that great? Not great? Aw, boo-hoo, ahaha! It's great to me! Nehehe!"
Scootaloo whispered to Orion. "This is a load of haaayyy!"
"I HEARD THAT! Now, shut up, degenerate, before my guards, mmm...'teach you some manners,' heehee. NOW! TRY to use your brains, and tell me where the tour begins, eh?"
"Whatever floats your boat," Scootaloo replied with a casual expression.
"Where it's mixed 'n' stuff," Orion stated.
"AH! CORRECT! Too bad; you could've known stuff, and been a good pony who was useful, but here you are, in the RAINBOW FACTORY, forever! Nahaha! Enjoy your stay! Did I mention it was forever? Because I think I did! Forever. Haha."
"But I thought that we'd just go somewhere else!" Aurora exclaimed.
"HA, you're dead wrong, like usual failures are! Dummie. Ha. Haha. No! You're staying riiiggghhhttt here, in the RAINBOW FACTORY! Rainbow Factory. Where you're staying. Forever. Oh, I'm Dr. Atmosphere, by the way, 'Dr.' being in my name because I'm smart, unlike you few."
"Sweet Celestia," Scootaloo said to Orion; "can he go a single sentence without calling us retarded?"
Orion shrugged.
"Come, right this way, before my guards 'encourage you,' and when I say that, I mean taze, haha!"
"Yeah, we caught that," Scootaloo remarked.
"Oh, you actually learned something without somepony having to tell you? I thought that was IMPOSSIBLE for a failure! You're a failure. Did I mention that?
"Ah, yes, and of course, welcome, to the Rainbow Factory! Hit it, boys!" Dr. Atmosphere gestured to a few suited ponies, who stood by various instruments. The suited ponies gathered the instruments up, and the light in the area was dimmed onto Dr. Atmosphere, who tapped his hooves. "A-one, a-two, a-one, two, three, four!
"Oh, welcome to the Rainbow Factory, where you'll spend the rest of your life! My name is Dr. Atmosphere, and I have a fetish for knives! Welcome to the Rainbow Factory, where you're going to die; ohhhhhhhhhh, you'll be here the rest of your lives, because you couldn't flyyyyy! You tried so hard to pass your test, you might've even tried your very best, but now your value is so much less, than a single cent! Ohhhhhhhhhh, welcome to the Rainbow Factory, where you'll spend eternityyyyyyy~!!" Dr. Atmosphere finished, the suited ponies finishing their tune, as he panted, wiping off the sweat from his forehead. "So, then, this way!" He gestured to the nearby automated door.
Orion and Scootaloo sighed, though Aurora shivered. Orion nuzzled her with care, and they carried on, following behind Dr. Atmosphere as he seemed to dance along, commonly commenting on them being 'failures,' or 'spending the rest of their lives at the Rainbow Factory,' etc. The automated door swished open, and they entered out into a long hall (again?), dimly lit by faint, red lights. They all trotted through the hall.
"So, do any of these pistons and stuff actually serve any purpose?" Scootaloo inquired, gazing out the side-windows.
"Haha, of course not!" Dr. Atmosphere replied. "They're simply there to scare you, and I can see it's working~!" He noted, gazing at the three, who in truth were hardly scared in the slightest, even Aurora now feeling calmer. most likely because of Orion's brevity and handsomeness
"Now, lemme tell ya somethin' 'cause I'm feeling, like, pretty bad today!" Dr. Atmosphere said, smiling maliciously at them. "We're the Weather Factory, nehehe. We make weather! Yeah? Got that? Need to write it down, so it can be processed ever so carefully by your inept mind?! EH?! No? Hmm. I'm shocked! Because!" Dr. Atmosphere flipped around, flashing his flanks repeatedly in their faces. "You're looossseeerrrsss!"
Scootaloo, Orion and Aurora looked utterly puzzled, confused, and generally wanting to leave. Scootaloo especially.
"Anywho!" The red Dr. Atmosphere of red continued. "We do that, and, uh...We don't need failures like you around, so you help with that, never leaving here. Ever. Forever. Remember? It was in the song! Or do I need to sing it aga--"
"NO," they all replied.
"Meh. Anyway, yeah, you're gonna be here forever, looking at machines, never going outside, and all kinds of stuff like that to make you sad and depressed! Ahh, misery. Gives me wet dreams."
" O_o "
"We have a lllooonnnggg history--longer than your short lives, in fact! You know, speaking of your miserable, short lives--"
"WE GET IT," Scootaloo spoke up. "WE GET IT, OKAY?! Failure, here forever, just give it a break, huh? Finish your ding-a-dong story and take us somewhere else. The sooner I'm away from you, the better. Gawd."
"Well, we've made rainbows for a thousand-non-sensical-years! Cool, eh? I know it is. But then again, with how broken your brains are, you don't know what's cool or uncool, am I right?! Nehehe!"
All three--Scootaloo, Orion and Aurora--sighed.
"I'm smart!" the red pegasus continued. "And without us, Equestria would be poopy-doopy! You need us, to make rainbows, with your help."
"Our help?" They all asked, fake gasps all the while.
"YES!" he replied. "You offer very, mmm, colourful help; bwahaha! I'm bad. Now get in that room there!" He stopped at a shockingly-cheap, old-looking iron door, looking to be coming off its hinges.
"Well, at least now I know where we can get out." Scootaloo spoke aloud, looking to Orion and Aurora.
"Pfft, as IF. You're NEVER getting out, oh, but I said that already! All well! With your attention-span, you probably keep forgetting anyway! Muahaha! Enjoy your hopeless, pitiful, stupid, miserable, worthless, disgraceful, useless, decrepit lives!" He gestured at the suited ponies, and they at once revealed their tazers, shocking the three into the room. Dr. Atmosphere slammed the door, with a loud thud, another of its hinges sounding to be broken now.
They all looked around the area. It was wide open and, for the most part, empty (some factory), almost like AN theatre room. At one random spot were six large vats, each holding their own individual colour of the rainbow; above that were pipes, connecting into each vat, looking to be fueling each; above that was a complex device, pipes and chains hanging off its odds and ends (or for lack of a better description and or explanation thereof); above that were rusty-looking vents, scattered nearly all about the room; and above THAT was some scaffolding, doors on either side of it leading out of the room, etc., etc. (for more information, see article Factory Construction For Dummies). Scootaloo, Orion and Aurora appeared to be the only ones in the entire room.
The three noticed other tuxedo-wearing guards standing about the room, and they slowly moved further into the room, glancing at their surroundings.
"Are we gonna be here f-forever..?!" Orion questioned, tears suddenly appearing in his eyes.
"Nah," Scootaloo replied; "there's probably some exit somewhere."
"But what about the guards?"
"What guards? Oh, those guards? I dunno; we'll take off when they're flexing at each other or somethin'." Scootaloo shrugged.
"I-I'm just a little scared, I'll admit...I-I mean we'll have to work forever, and be in this place forever, and-and forever, and--"
"Oh, come on; you're not falling for their cheesy scare-tactics, are ya? I mean, come on, he called us 'mules,' for Celestia's sake! Mules! And you're telling me that you're scared?"
"Pretty much, yeah. I--"
Aurora swiftly gripped Orion from behind, whipping him around and bringing him intensely close. "O-Orion," she blushed; "I-I know you're scared...B-but if we never get out of here, f-fine! As long as I'm with you, I'll be anywhere...My Orion," she cooed.
Orion was crimson and speechless. He didn't know what else to do. But there was only one thing to do. He kissed her. Scootaloo winced.
"Y'know," Scootaloo complained; "if you're gonna suck face, you could at least warn me first."
The only noise in the room was the 'whirr-whirr' of the pipes and vents, guards murmuring to each other, and Orion and Aurora's lovey-dovey-ness.
"Look forward 'n' stuff, dumbies," one James-Bond-ish guard called out. Orion and Aurora ceased their sensitive love--no matter how difficult--and looked up at the scaffolding (seriously, finish building the dang place; this place has been around a thousand years, and you've got SCAFFOLDING lying around?!) along with Scootaloo.
One of the doors opened.---
"How, you ask, are they up to the task? To which the answer is in a simple facility."
A couple of evil-looking important-looking ponies came out from the doors, standing onto the (dare I type it?) scaffolding, looking down upon Scootaloo, Orion and Aurora. They at first looked angry, soon afterwards beginning to giggle to each other, pointing hoofs at the three below.
"Look at how innocent and pitiful they are!" one giggled.
"Hah, I know!" another replied to the first.
"I can't wait to say bad things to them that will make them sad and stuff!"
"I couldn't agree in a badder way!"
"Hah."
"Hah."
Their laughter was cut short by the clearing of a throat from behind them, and their eyes spiked open as they both stood to the side, looking to be at attention.
"Huh?" Scootaloo wondered.
Hoofsteps echoed through the entire room as another pegasus trotted onto a podium up on the scaffolding. The pegasus removed his mask, and his golden mane hung low. He tapped the microphone on the podium before speaking.
" Cloudsdale Weather Corporation, " the pegasus announced.
" That alone describes the ability and majesty of our next to speak. Throughout her entire life, alongside her worker-brethern, she has led us into a bright future for Cloudsdale, and all of Equestria, with her leading potential and strict attitude towards progress; she has amplified the brightness of rainbows. As of right now, I just want to say that, I am honoured, to introduce the one and only...Rainbow Dash. Miss Rainbow Dash. " And with that, the guards and other workers replied with vigorous clapping of their hoofs, some whistling and cheering. The golden-maned pegasus stood down from the podium, and a masked pegasus walked up onto it. The pegasus whipped off the mask, revealing her rainbow-coloured mane and rosy eyes. The room went silent.
" 'Ello.
"You're all probably wondering, 'WHAT I DOING IN FACTORY?!,' right? Well, you get to know. Because I, Rainbow Factory Dash, will tell you."
Scootaloo turned to Orion and Aurora. "Ohhh, boy, this'll be great. I bet--hey, wait a second, is that Rainbow Dash?!"
"Oh, yeah, your old pal?" Orion asked in reply.
"Uh-huh."
"A thousand years ago," the Irish-Swedish pegasus that Scootaloo once thought of as a friend continued; "Luna got put on moon; so Celestia couldn't take all that work 'cause she lazy, so she give us task of rainbows. We use unicorns 'n' their magic, but we find better way - more better for me and workers, because we feel better and sleep at night thinking of evil ways that we extract spectra from failures. That's you."
"Oh, no!" Aurora called out, rather than the pink pegasus that should be in this scene (oops). "What did those horrible ----->PEOPLE<----- do?!"
"Don't ask why it have be this way," Dash continued. "Your failure brains wouldn't understand. Don't worry. You can still fuel..." She gestured towards the back of the room, and a spot-light turned on where she pointed, showing in greater detail the cheap device before them. "MACHINEEE! We no need you ruining Cloudsdale's false good name with being dumb and not flying, so this solution, is. Pure. Rainbowz."
Scootaloo's thoughts were clouded. How could Dash be like this? I thought she'd do better than this! Instead, she's around all these losers, in this stupid so-called factory! I..! She..!
"I THOUGHT YOU HAD A COOL JOB!"
"I thought that Atmosphere-guy was bad enough, but this?! You were a cool flyer! Now all you do is push buttons, and pull levers, and--"
"I loved you too, Scoots."
"What? That's not what I was talking abo--"
"But too bad. You fail. I hate you now. You fail Cloudsdale. You fail fellow pegasi. And most important, you fail me. You're dead to me."
"But that doesn't even make any sense--!"
"Neither does this story being a creepypasta, but you don't see them changing THAT ANYTIME SOON! Ah, ha, ha. Ah, ha, ha."
Aurora hugged Orion tightly. "O-Orion," she whimpered; "I-I think I'll c-cry..." Orion hugged her back. "Don't worry...It'll be okay."
"No, it won't." Dash stared down at them, knowing that they're just worthless-worthless-ers that should go in machineee. "I grow tired of waiting. First, da brown one." She pointed at Orion. Aurora and Orion gasped, Scootaloo still confused. "Wat," Scootaloo wated.
Aurora jumped in front of Orion. "NOES--I mean, STAHP--I mean, oh, you know!" Orion noticed her. "Aurora, it's...It's no use..." Guards approached, chuckling and rubbing their hoofs together as they drew their shock-batons. One immediately shoved Aurora to the side, because Aurora's only a filly, and everyone knows that those have no strength! Two guards grabbed Orion, and they tossed him around like a beach-ball before one simply put him over his back like he was his dear ol' pop, carrying him to machineee. They tied him up on the evil dark sinister factory-like metal shackles, and he was lifted into the air.
"We find that machineee works better when ribs are break; don't ask how; it just supposed to scare; we not gonna explain it." The machine stopped, Orion's legs held apart by the chains in the air. Rainbow Dash lifted a hoof, pointing at every one of them. "Do you see those colours on your tail, coat and mane, that you can see with your eyes, unlike useless brain?"
Scootaloo lifted an eyebrow. "Yeeeaaahhh?"
"THOSE USED MAKE RAINBOWZ!"
"And a collective gasp filled the room," Scootaloo yawned.
The machine 'whirr-whirred' back up, and Orion was dropped into the machineee, being grinded up into rainbowz. Aurora rushed forward (no guard stopping her, of course), jumping in after him. As she almost hit the blades, a guard swooped up and snatched Aurora away, placing her back next to Scootaloo. "Orion, my love! No!" she cried out. Dash only laugh.
"Scoots!" Orion called out as his head was the final part to go in. "I love you!"
Scootaloo narrowed her eyebrows. "Well, I don't."
And Orion was gone. He now rainbowz. Machineee dispense colours that were on Orion.
"...Ookkaaayyy..." Scootaloo looked at Rainbow Dash. "Now what?"
"No worry. You get see." Rainbow Dash answered. "This good time for song. Worker!" She nodded at a worker on the scaffolding (still can't get over that), who in reply pulled a guitar out of nowhere, and a second one did the same, as they began to play a rock-type intro. A vent above the scaffolding burst open, and Dr. Atmosphere came flying down, landing next to Rainbow Dash. Another worker began to play the drums. Dr. Atmosphere let out a rocker's scream.
Rainbow Dash smiled like Normal Bates, beginning as Scootaloo merely stood. "Whaaattt?" Scootaloo was borderline dumbfounded as Aurora cried over Orion. Looks like a Rainbow Factory did ruin her day, after all. Rainbow Dash sang, along with Dr. Atmosphere.
"You say you want a batch of rainbowzzz, well, you know; we all want to fill the skies. You tell me that we're nothing but foes, well, you know; we all want to fill the skies. But when you talk about a peaceful way, don't ya know that you can count me out? Don't ya know that you're a failure? Failure! Failure!
You sit there crying and saying 'noes,' well, you know; we'd all love to see you cry.
You say that we ought to disclose, well, you know; we'd rather you just die."---
In the Rainbow Factory, where fears and horrors come true.
In the Rainbow Factory, where not a single soul gets through.
As the playing went on, Scootaloo turned to Aurora. "Okay, that looks like opportunity to me. Let's make a plan. Now, we should probably go for that cheap door from earlie--"
Aurora interrupted, "Scootaloo, up there!" Aurora pointed at a door near the scaffolding, above the door a large, neon-red sign saying, "EXIT."
"...Wow," Scootaloo stated blandly. "It's that obvious? Well, let's go, I guess." Aurora nodded. Scootaloo spread her wings, Aurora soon doing the same, as they both flew up, heading towards the exit. As they landed by the door, Scootaloo glanced back at the jamming suited ponies, workers, "important-looking" ponies and Dash, along with Dr. Atmosphere. "...I have no words. How can you describe that? Gee, sure can't wait to leak this whole place out. Let's go." Scootaloo tried opening the door, only to find that there was no handle or mechanism on it anywhere. She sighed. "Let's kick it down." Aurora gulped. "You sure?"
"Yup." And Scootaloo turned around, lifting her hind-legs, immediately kicking at the door as quick as she could, though not in any particular rush.
The song the workers played entered its outro. "Thank you; good night!" One worker called out. The song was finished, Aurora gulping as she realized the only noise being heard now was Scootaloo's kicking. "Huh?" Rainbow Dash turned to see them both there. "Where you think you go?" She pointed at them. "Get them, slaves--er, workers!"
"Yes, Miss. Dash," two suited ponies wearing sunglasses obeyed, slowly and sinisterly approaching Aurora and Scootaloo. Aurora sweated in a panic as she soon joined Scootaloo in the kicking, the door sounding to be almost busted.
"Well, Miss. Dash," Dr. Atmosphere said; "I'd love to see you throw a few more worthless failures in da machine, but I've other matters to attend to."
" 'Kay," Rainbow Dash replied, focusing her attention back onto the two fillies. Dr. Atmosphere, along with two personal guards, walked up to the "EXIT" door, pushing Scootaloo and Aurora gently aside as he swiped a card through a hidden scanner on the side of the door. "Have fun, failures," he remarked, signaling to the guards to follow him. They walked out. "Pbbt, gee, thanks for opening the door!" Scootaloo said. "C'mon, Aurora." Scootaloo grabbed Aurora's hoof, dashing out. "Kill them," Dash said. "I no longer cares about rainbows; I suddenly only want them dead. Kill them." And the suited ponies gave chase, galloping after Scootaloo and Aurora; Dash just laugh.
Scootaloo and Aurora dashed through the hall as quickly as they possibly could on their weak-filly-legs, soon seeing before them a bright, overly-dramatic light at the exit. Scootaloo and Aurora ran for dear life. As the exit neared, Aurora tripped with a squeal, falling face-first. "Scootaloo..!" she squeaked out. "Go on without me; save yourself..!"
"Can do!" Scootaloo turned around, running for the exit, glancing back and seeing the suited ponies swooping Aurora up.
"A-at least..." Aurora said. "At least I'll be with Orion..." The suited ponies took Aurora away, basically ignoring Scootaloo at this point. Scootaloo galloped toward the light. But alas! Rainbow Dash swooped down out of scenic nowhere, a Bates smile on her face. Scootaloo sighed. "Not so fast, Scoots," Rainbow Dash spoke with malicious intent. "You belong with machineee; not freedom. Freedom's for winners. Which you aren't."
"Uh, yeah," Scootaloo replied; "here's the thing...I don't really care. Can you, uh...move aside?"
"No."
"Shoot."
"You never get out, Scoots. Remember lyrics? 'Where not a single soul gets through?' Ha. Go die in shame now."
"...Pass." Scootaloo again extended her wings, zooming straight over Rainbow Dash.
"Wat."
Scootaloo went straight into the bright light, immediately flying straight out of the factory itself, the sky and sun in full view as Scootaloo's eyes quickly adjusted. "GET BACK HERE, SCOOTS." But Scootaloo wouldn't come back. She flew off.---
In the Rainbow Factory...
Where cheesiness is our specialty.
In the Rainbow Factory...
Where you become rainbow in machineee.
Scootaloo stood in a tall, royal castle.
"Hey, Princess Celestia? There's kind of a factory where they grind fillies and colts into rainbows who fail their flight exam. If you could come take a look, that'd be swell..."
"WHAT?!"
And so the Rainbow Factory was taken down, pegasi later finding a better, quicker and less murderous way to handle making rainbows. It was simple to find, too. Rainbow Dash simply wouldn't allow it. Why? I suppose because that's not how Rainbow Dash dash.
Scootaloo thought to herself, as she sat in her room.
"...You know...Her eyes really weren't that beautiful."
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The original was by Auroradawn.
You ain't fooling anybody.
.....Dafuq is this? I could barely read this.
This wasn't at all funny, it was just God awful.
Never write fanfiction again
6/10 try harder
If this was a parody... then why didn't you mention it in the description? And if it was going to be this god awful, then why didn't you mention that in the description too?
I couldn't even finish this. And posting that it's the original? Have you lost your mind?
I'm going to laugh when Aurora Dawn kicks your ass for this.
First Fail: Saying this was the original. You should have said this was a parody.
Second Fail: There were quite a few grammar/spelling errors here.
Third Fail: It WASN'T FUNNY! This was just a bunch of random shit mashed together with the theme of Rainbow Factory mixed in!
Fourth Fail: The "romantic" relationship wasn't funny. In the slightest.
Fifth Fail: Overall, this was just one big fail. BTW I totally agree with everything 4496214, 4496179, 4496187 and 4496593 said.
Done.
37.media.tumblr.com/d383e8b17f3f71d4d4bc7a468ac3e1d0/tumblr_mixu650MwM1rqxyk9o9_500.jpg
Ooooook.
Credit where it's due.
It was KIND of funny. But make it obvious it's a parody. Remove the tragedy tag, cuz it's not really sad. Remove THE ORIGINAL.
Good, and pretty long.
Just bad luck choosing a topi.
I only found it funny because I like random shit. Most people prefer AYLEAST SOME LOGICS IF YOU KNOWZ WHAT I MEANZ.
Get it?
4500915 Not a bit lazy. Just plain lazy. Yes, I went there; I put the word in italics.
The some goes like this
A rainbows tale isn't quite as nice, as the story we know of sugar and spice. A Rainbow's easy when you got to know, with the help of the magic of the pegusus DEVICE. Instermental. Let's Delve deeper into rainbow philosophy. Far beyond that of cloudsdales mythology. It's easy to misjudge that floating city. With its alluring decor and social psychology. But with all great things comes good respondsiblitiy. That of cloudsdale's weather stability. How do you ask are they up to the task to which the answer is in a simple facility. Instermental. In the rainbow factory were your fears and horrors come true In the rainbow factory were not a soul can get throughx2. Instermental. In the rainbow factory were your fears and horrors come true In the rainbow factory were not a soul can get through.
This was amusing enough for an upvote, but not enough for a fave.