The sun slowly crossed the sky as Nightmare Moon continued to wait, her only companion Rainbow Dash, and the pegasus had been rather silent after their initial exchange. Finally, her ears twitched as they picked up the sounds of hooves and wings. She looked to the sky and saw Celestia and Luna flying in from Canterlot, a large box trailing them. After a moment she turned her head and saw the other Elements galloping down the road from Ponyville. Each one had saddlebags stuffed full with supplies, Spike sitting on Twilight's back.
Nightmare Moon slowly stood as they approached. “You have them,” she stated, looking at the box. She snorted and took a single step back. “I am not sure how much I trust that you won't simply blast me with them right now.”
Celestia eyed her. “We won't, as long as you don't attack or betray us.” She tilted her head to the side and the box floated over. It opened, five necklaces and a crown floating out to their respective Bearers. Celestia trotted up to Nightmare Moon. “You are my sister, but also not my sister. My feelings are... conflicted on this matter,” she admitted, hanging her head for a moment before looking back up and locking eyes with her. “But I promise you this. If you harm Luna or the ponies who go to aid you and your Equestria, I will not rest until I see you brought low.” Celestia's mane flared, billowing out behind her and whipping about.
Nightmare Moon met Celestia's stare with one of her own. “If I am not betrayed, then I shall not betray. My word binds me.” She turned to the ponies, eyeing Rarity. The alabaster-coated unicorn had a reddish cloak fastened about her neck, and five others trailed behind her. “A wise decision,” she said, nodding.
Rarity's cheeks colored. “Why, thank you!” She crossed her left foreleg over her right, striking a pose. “They're not only functional, with a waterproof fabric, pockets on the inside and flaps for wings and a hood loose enough for horns, but also quite fashionable!” She floated one over to each of her friends. “Their clasps are your cutie marks!” Her eyes lit up. “I created them earlier, just needed an impetus to put the entire ensemble together. You understand, don't you?”
Each cloak wrapped itself around a pony, Spike hopping off before Twilight's cloak encircled her. The clasps hooked together around the neck and the cloaks draped themselves over each pony, hanging snug enough to keep all but the strongest winds out, but also loose enough at the hems as to not impede leg movement.
Applejack moved about, cantering to and fro. “Not bad, Rarity.” Her eyes went up to her hat, perched on her head. She jerked her head forward and the cloak's hood slid forward right over her beloved heirloom. “Might good of you Rarity. Thank you kindly.”
Nightmare Moon looked to the others. "And the rest of you have some provisions and supplies?” At their nods and words of assent, she looked to Luna, still standing by Celestia. “Are you prepared?”
Luna trotted up to her dark reflection, circling around Nightmare Moon. “I am.” She stopped after one full circle. “Are you?”
Nightmare Moon turned away, trotting off and away from the group. She stopped a few meters away. “I... thank you for your assistance,” she said, staring straight ahead. “Now be ready, as I do not know how long I can keep this open.” Her eyes half-closed and a low humming filled the air around her. Her horn began glowing, cerulean bolts of energy arcing up and down it. A long, flickering pole of energy grew from her horn and she reared back, slicing through air, space and the ether itself.
A long gash was torn open, quickly widening. It was rimmed with blue, crackling energy and wavered about. Nightmare Moon stepped back, her horn's glow intensifying. “GO!” she shouted, digging her hooves into the dirt.
Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Rarity all galloped through the hole. Rainbow Dash flew through the sky, pausing for a moment and glaring at Nightmare Moon before entering. Luna glanced back at Celestia and smiled before galloping forth through the hole. Finally, Spike wrapped his arms around Twilight's neck in a hug. She leaned into it for a moment, then galloped off for the hole, disappearing into the nothingness.
Celestia cleared her throat. “Remember my promise, Nightmare Moon,” she said, her eyes hardening.
Nightmare Moon allowed the barest fraction of a smile to cross her lips. “I remember, and I shall honor the help. Loyalty looks after their own!” And with that, she spread her wings, lifted her hooves off the ground and shot forward, turning into a blue flash that passed through the portal a half-second before it closed.
Celestia quietly trotted over to Spike's side. She knelt down to the baby dragon's level and leaned in close to him. “She'll be all right,” she said, smiling. “They'll all be all right.”
Spike's head bobbed up and down. “O-of course, your majesty!” He punched the air and hopped about. “There's nopony in all of Equestria who can stop Twilight, not even some weird copy of her!” He stopped bouncing around and looked to Celestia, his eyes wide. “Right?”
Celestia simply looked to where the hole was. “There's very little that can stop Twilight Sparkle, Spike.” Her gaze softened. “Stay safe, all of you.”
It was fire and ice. Up was left, right was backwards and backwards was standing still. Time stretched into infinite ether and it snapped forward...
The ponies exited the hole, slowing their gait down quickly. Dash flew out, followed by Luna and then Nightmare Moon. The hole behind them closed up, the tear in space resealing itself with a small whoosh.
Twilight glanced around. “Everypony okay?”
Applejack glanced down at her hooves and what was beneath them. “I'm all right, but this grass sure ain't.” She looked up at Twilight, her expression grim. “It's dyin'.”
Everyone looked around at the field they stood in. The grass, in stark contrast to the healthy green of the Equestria they came from, was a pale-yellow and short. Farther in the distance stood trees, a few with leaves but most bare, their skeletal branches poking into the purple sky. A cool wind blew, rattling them and sending a few leaves to the ground.
Twilight's breath caught in her throat as she spotted the sun on the horizon, a pale disk hanging there, casting little light and almost as much warmth. She craned her head and neck up, reaching a hoof up as if to touch it. Her gaze drifted to the left and the moon, also hanging in the sky. “It's... stuck there?” she asked, glancing to Nightmare Moon.
Nightmare Moon nodded. “Indeed, Twilight Sparkle. My own power is insufficient to move it, and the Tyrant Filly’s stolen power has tilted the balance I shared with Celestia.” She looked to Luna. “Do you suppose if we combined our powers, we could wrest control of the sun from her?”
Luna slowly shook her head. “We’d be constantly fighting her for control of the sun, and you and I both know how much damage might happen during the struggle.” She approached her dark reflection. “It’d be better to confront her at Canterlot... Fluttershy, what’s wrong?”
Everyone there looked to the pale-yellow pegasus sitting on the grass. Fluttershy’s shoulders hitched slightly as tears fell from her eyes. “P-Ponyville...” She swallowed. “All the animals, all of us!” Her head darted around. “What’s happened there?”
Rainbow Dash landed next to her and wrapped a wing around her body in a tight hug. “Hey, it’s all right! I’m sure everypony there is doing their best there.” She looked around at her friends, her expression of confidence fading with every pair of eyes she met. “Right?”
Twilight turned and walked up to Nightmare Moon, craning her neck up to look at the alicorn. Her ears folded back against her head, but she cleared her throat and spoke clearly. “Nightmare Moon, I think it’d be best for us to first check on Ponyville, to put our minds at ease.”
Nightmare Moon snorted. She bent her head down low, locking eyes with Twilight and smiling when the unicorn visibly flinched. “That would be a complete waste of time.” She unfurled a wing and gestured to Canterlot. “Once the Tyrant Filly is defeated and my rightful place on the throne is restored, then perhaps we can visit Ponyville and assuage any fears you might have.”
Luna trotted around, turning to face Nightmare Moon. “I believe it would be wise to at least have a look at Ponyville,” she said, her expression neutral. “You’ve been sealed away for a thousand years, and you need at the very least a base assessment of what’s been going on, do you not?” She turned and motioned in the general direction of Ponyville. Her mane flared and wind whipped through, rattling branches and sending dead leaves scattering. “Besides, a visit there would lift their spirits, and turn them to your banner, would it not?”
Nightmare Moon’s mouth slowly turned upward. “Yes, you’re right. To have their loyalty, to show them that their true Princess has returned?” She spread her wings out, but a gesture from Luna stopped her from soaring into the air. “What?”
Luna pointed up at the starless sky. “It would be better to walk, to keep under the Tyrant Filly’s senses. Besides, we’ll get a better lay of the land on hoof.”
Pinkie Pie hopped up and spun around. She jabbed one foreleg at Canterlot. “If Canterlot is there, then Ponyville is...” Her other foreleg swept across, finally settling on a small gap in the trees. “There!”
All eyes turned to the small break in the trees and a dirt path barely wide enough for one pony to cross. Applejack trotted up to it and scrapped a hoof across it. “Land’s sakes!” She looked back. “Back home, this here’s wide enough for a fully-laden cart with all the trimmin’s to roll through!”
Nightmare Moon strode up to Applejack’s side. “Lead the way, then. I look forward to seeing my future subjects and assuring them their true princess has returned.”
Applejack hesitated. She glanced to Twilight, then Luna. At their nods she turned and trotted off, Nightmare Moon close behind. Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash shadowed Fluttershy as they followed, Rarity close behind. Luna and Twilight took up the rear. Twilight looked up to Luna as they approached the small gap. “So... Princess, why are we going to Ponyville? I mean really why?”
Luna’s horn softly glowed and the branches parted slightly, allowing them to walk side-by-side down the path. A translucent shield formed in front of them, blocking their words from reaching Nightmare. “I believe my counterpart needs an object lesson in what ‘Eternal Night’ would truly bring.” She glanced down to Twilight. “It was a harsh one for me, but necessary. And my counterpart will need it even more. Otherwise, we’d simply be exchanging one tyrant for another.” Her gaze hardened. “And I know all too well what would happen if Nightmare Moon gained power over this Equestria.” She looked ahead to Nightmare Moon. “By all my power, it will not happen, Twilight Sparkle. It will not.”
Makes sense; the POD is well after Ponyville's founding. What'll be interesting to learn is if all the Mane6 are there...Applejack and Rarity, certainly, but Pinkie may have never left her rock farm, nor Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy Cloudsdale.
Are you sure it's Ponyville and not Puonyville?
I'm guessing they will meet their alternate universe counterparts, and with a ruined Ponyville while they are at it.
Yeah I know
So uuuuhhhh when's the next chapter coming?
So elements bearers will meet thamself, that will be akward.
Also after everythink what happened, i m not sure do Twilight from this world will even become element bearer, no one will trust her after all what happened, and she had no chance to learn anythink since most of the time she was on power high.
Still, I find it weird, even Celestia would not be able to defeat Nightmare Moon, how can Twilight who have no experience and no control over her power beat up Nightmre Moon so easy.
“Might good o' you Rarity
This should be "Mighty good o' you Rarity"
1825562 i don't get it. why would pinkie pie never have left the rock farm? the only differenc was that Twilight got Celestias powers when celestia tried to calm her down...
1825672
The fact that the whole world is trapped in perpetual twilight, with trees and grass slowly dying, may have made Pinkie not want to leave her family.
1825628 Celestias powers + Twilight's normal giant powers = Unlimited POWER!!!!
1825682 makes sense i guess.
1825685
Nah, Twilight is not that OP, it is like adding increasing power by 20%, even 120% power is not much if you can not control it.
Even weak but skilled fighter can easy defeat opponent who is far stronger but have no experience.
By the way, do Twilight became Alicorn once she absorbed Celestia powers ? because raw power is one think, but only Alicorns can have huge duribility, and Twilight withstand Nightmare Moon attack far to well for a Unicorn.
PS: Is not Nightmare Moon like Luna on buff ?
Nightmare Moon should be like 10-30% stronger than Celestia, so Nightmare Moon should have advantage anyway.
1825692
Actually...that assumes that Twilight's power has been added to Celestia's. It's not impossible that it was instead multiplied by Celestia's...which could create quite a huge gap.
Also, we don't actually know whether Nightmare Moon is stronger than Celestia...
1825699
It still sounds that Twilight got kind of OP in this, and I would rather belive that Nightmare Moon is stronger than Celestia, than belive that Twilight who have no experience and hardly control her powers would face alicorn who have hundred years of experience.
But I see that no one complain about this topic, so I will try to somehow accept it.
Still it not change the fact that Nightmare Moon got badly humiliated.
1825692 on the note of Twillight being an alicorn... its not imposible i meen Twilight is still a filly so unless nightmare moon got back a bit early she probably turned into an alicorn or just ages slower.
There's a missing quotation mark before And.
Nice to see the real action getting started. This should be good.
Luna has a clever plan. Will it work though?
1825736
Meaby, but after I read many fanfics I went with theory.
Earth Ponies have nice durability and strenght.
Pegasi have huge speed and agility
Unicorns have powerful magic and telecinessis
Alicorns are not immortal, but they are so long living thanks to magic inside tham, the same magic make tham unbelivably durable, and hundreds of years of experience alow tham to handle they power ( in Nyx from Past Sins case, Nyx probably got experience how to use her powers from Nightmare Moon memories, but she still learned how to fight on her own when she was training disquised as guard ).
Anyway the point is I would fell it is more belivable for Alicorn Twilight to have huge duribility and power, filly Twilight who stolen power from Celestia may have alot of raw power, but should not she be durable as filly, Nightmare Moon is far bigger than her, and so she should be able to withstand like 10 times more punishment.
Basicaly what worry me is how Twilight can be so extremaly durable that Nightmare Moon failed to destroy her, when Nightmare Moon could not withstand Twilight attack, it just sounds weird if Twilight is not Alicorn.
Makes sense to me, plus the Elements of Harmony can't just fix the other Twilight. She may be slightly corrupted but killing her or removing her powers does not necessarily mean they return to the other Celestia, they would need time to think of a plan if you ask me... also.... MOAR
Wow, this is amazing. Love it.
I can't wait to see Luna and Nightmare Moon's eventual heart-to-heart. That would be exciting to read. Although I'm rather worried about how Ponyville will be doing under the Tyrant Filly...
I wonder where Cadence is during all this? Or what, exactly, Twilight did to Blueblood?
"gained power this over equestria" I assume you mean "gained power over this equestria"?
Another good chapter :D Keep this coming... Though now I wonder how Luna learned that lesson :?
My image of Twilight is she has naturally around 35% of Celestia's power up to around 65% maybe when she grows older.
Luna I feel has something like 95% versus Celestia's 100%
So Nightmare Moon gets a boost of 30% ---- 125%
Tyrant Filly Twilight has a 100% + her filly 35% ------- 135% But by now she may had been corrupted or have other bonuses at her disposal seeing as I would assume Tyrant Filly has around as much as Nightmare Moon + Luna hence a terrible struggle. So around 220%
Likely still moved to Ponyville but with her family since the rock economy crashed due to there bein no sun to need rock rotations.
Tries her best to take care of the animals still but is at a major disadvantage
Still in Ponyville as a fashion designer
Works on Sweet Apple Acres still but Apple turnout is about 1/4th of normal world's.
With the destruction of the Wonderbolts to the Tyrant Filly, likely just lives near Fluttershy and helps her
1826284 And just where does it say that the Wonderbolts were destroyed?
I like how Luna is gently nudging Nightmare Moon into making the smart decisions.
I bet Nightmare Moon's reaction to seeing Ponyville will be something like, "By the moon! I wished to cause THIS!?"
I see a lot of people wondering about why Filly Twilight was so much stronger than Nightmare. Theory:
Even considering the possibility that Nightmare may be stronger than Celestia to begin with (which is doubtful, given that by her own admission they're equals), we're dealing with Twilight + Celestia's power, and from what I can tell, this is a Twilight that is going through a continuous magical power surge.
I imagine it's like our muscles. We have built in limits, baselines past which we normally can't go. Under great stress or other extraordinary circumstances, we can break that limit and achieve our maximum output. Filly Twi is in that state constantly, and Nightmare likely isn't able to match her output.
As for Nightmare being more experienced, yes, you're right. Twi is a complete novice who was just handed power and has no clue how to control it. To put it another way, Twi can only barely control her power. She doesn't know what she's doing, and so she's completely unpredictable. A master swordsman dreads fighting a novice, after all. TV Tropes can explain it better, but I think I've got my point across.
1826845 Yeah! it's like when Goku was teaching Gohan to be a Super Sayajin in preparation for the battle with Cell! If you always stay in the transformed state, its power becomes much easier to use and powering up to maximum is less of a stress on the body!
(Remember everypony, the answers to all of life's problems can be found in DBZ.)
1825699 Yeah! It'd be like when Piccolo fused with Nail, and then again with Kami! His powers were several orders of magnitude higher after each fusion!
(Remember everypony, all of life's problems can be solved with the vast knowledge found in BDZ.)
PS: I have my running gag for this story now!
The one thing I have a problem with is Loyalty being one of Luna's Elements.
I would think she'd never betray Celestia in that case, no matter how sad and jealous she was. Celestia, who has always been constant, seems a better fit for Loyalty and Luna (what with her transformations and dream entry and so forth) is a much better fit for Magic.
That's it. Just
And more, please.
1825743 I'd imagine that Luna's plan, which is basically to give Nightmare Moon a dose of common sense, will hit Nightmare Moon like a bucket of ice-cold water.
Let's just hope that it doesn't send Nightmare Moon into a state of Heroic BSOD...
1825628 Tyrant Filly used Flail Blindly... It's super effective.
She is like the Divine Magicarp at this point. No idea what she is doing but more power than any single being should ever have.
1826644
I would assume they were destroyed because they would have been called in by the Royal Guard to help calm the situation and would of likely been destroyed as a cohesive unit afterward. Plus no funding.
1827890 You do realize, of course, that to assume is to make an ass of U and me.
1828068
Close enough
1828196 That wasn't a mule joke. I got it from an episode of NCIS.
1828231
Love NCIS
1828425 My reaction to the ending of the latest episode: D'awww at how Tony FINALLY patched things up with his father!
1828425 And FYI, it was Jimmy Palmer who made that joke about assuming stuff.
Ominous...
Still, this will be good for Nightmare Moon. The sun is the source of all energy on the planet. Without it... well, we'll also see shortly.
This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors
Twilight the Terrible
Grammar score: 10/10 (Near as I could tell.)
Pros: First, the Tyrant Filly is awesome. Her character, the way she keeps talking about trying to fix things, her nervous twitches. You've taken Twilight the epic magical badass and Twilight the crazy, obsessive-compulsive pony, combined them and kept her a filly. It's one of the most original takes on the character I've seen, but the best part is that at no point does she not feel like Twilight. (If Twilight was ever overshadowed by the Nightmare, I would expect the result to look something like an adult version of this. Next, your Nightmare Moon is a great character. I love how she is both dark/antagonistic, and still honorable and heroic. She remains regal even in her darkness. Her conversation with Rainbow Dash was a great moment. Finally, and this is reflected in both of those characters, but your story has, from what I can see so far, a great take on the good versus evil conflict. The lines become blurred a bit because Nightmare Moon displays heroic qualities while Tyrant Twilight, who genuinely wants to make things better, slides into the realm of evil through her actions. The shaky trust between Nightmare Moon and the ponies from "our" Equestria exemplifies this, and is one of the highlights of the story.
Cons: The shift in universes between chapter one and two seemed abrupt. I mean, I figured out what was going on pretty quick, but for a moment there I wondered what the Tyrant Twilight was doing having a picnic with the other ponies. Then I was like, "Oh, this is the Ponyville I know and love. That's what's going on." This is not that big a deal, but it is a minor thing to watch out for. And... that's all I've got in the cons department.
Notes: Twilight Sparkle is my favorite pony, so I was interested to read a story called Twilight the Terrible. Would it be like those Tyrant Celestia fics that take a wonderful character and make a villain out of her by making her a totally different character? Just the opposite, as it turned out. You took all of Twilight's canon weaknesses: her obsessive perfectionism, her lack of control of magic as a child, even her desire to do the right thing (which is not a weakness on its own, but it drives Twilight to chase down Nightmare Moon in a fit of fanaticism)... and you made an antagonist Twilight that is just as loveable as a character as the real thing. I enjoyed your story immensely, and look forward to where it goes from here.
Enjoy your review! Sorry it took me a few days to get back to you. (School work and such.) And thanks again for reviewing my story A Spell for Lyra.
Dead? I really hope not
Luna is acting like Nightmare Moon's conscience, which of course makes complete sense. I like it. :D
Cool. Please Update.
Since there's probably gonna be a new chapter tomorrow...
1825562 Close, so close!
1825565 Ah, come again?
1825594 Not this chapter, but next one or so.
1825602 Sorry about the delay. I am not starting any more fics until I get some of these older ones done!
1825628 She's flailing blindly, and I've never thought that Celestia ever went all out against Nightmare Moon.
1825738 Thanks, fixed.
1825743 Maybe...
1825921 Thanks, and yeah on both Twifilly and Nightmare Moon.
1826162 Thanks. Less exciting and more impassioned arguing and 'This cataclysm is the result of 'most' of the sunlight being taken away. Now how's about that Eternal night thing you and I had planned way back when..." Cadance is around, and Shining Armor. Blueblood... you don't wanna know.
1826284 Some of them aren't there. They never went to Ponyville in this reality.
1826604 Okay... fixed. *Backs away slowly*
1826659 It'll take some more nudging.
1826845 You got the right idea, mostly. And Nightmare Moon's simply not used to really dealing with her own sister's power going all out.
1827069 What?
1827104 Ah, no...
1827195 It's been a bit too long since I watched DBZ. I might have to remedy that. Although one thing I always hated about that series was how useless the vast majority of the cast got.[/legit]
1827203 Cutie mark failure insanity syndrome blown into epic proportions. Basically, what happens when loyalty feels betrayed? When generosity's gifts are rebuked or when honesty feels like they're being lied to and/or placated?
1827312 Thanks. :D
1827733 Magikarp... damn, I haven;t had anything to do with Pokemon beyond Super Smash Brothers: Melee in years.
1830574 Ah, no. Sorry, not Twifilly. She wants to help and to FIX THING! SHE CAN FIX IT!!!!!!!!
1984369 Wow, thank you. Such glowing words, there. Hmm, I guess I can try to make the transition a bit smoother. I shall work on it!
2028109 Ah, to be honest I've always just seen it as a schoolboy crush on his part. Then again I don't 'ship Sparity. *Shrugs* Sorry, Starcat. And as said many times, he is a baby dragon.
2068606 Give her time...
2313980 Nope. I will complete all the ones I have started.
2524066 She's the only one allowed to defeat Celestia. If this thing ever gets a trope page I hope that's one of the first ones added.
1825699 Sometimes it just takes so little to upset the balance...
2649573 At the very least, Nightmare Moon is going to start having doubts.
And why did it take you twenty-three weeks to respond? The only reason I don't send Pinkamena after you is because you promise us a new chapter tomorrow.
2649659 Admittedly, I'm just not good at responding. Also, Pinkamina? Not a good threat, considering canonically all she did was sit around and mope.
2649690 I'm talking about Cupcakes Pinkamena!
So be afraid! Be very afraid!
2649573
I though you gave up on this story, how long it has been since last update, 1 year I think.
Anyway from my point of view, Luna and Celestia were normal ponies who became Alicorns after they unlocked elements of harmony and use it again Discord ( then ponies choice them as rulers ), after all in season 3 finale Twilight became Alicorn and elements played important role in her transformation.
The point is that Celestia and Luna had hundreds of years to develop the prowess and learn how to control it, and also hundreds of years to gain winsdom and experience, and also being an Alicorn who grown up in hundreds of years should give endurance what would let Alicorn handle so much power ( so in case spell go wrong or they fight one another with power what can raze town, they would not kill themselves with one shot or blown themselves up ).
However in Twilight case, she just absorb Celestia power while she is just a filly and she can not control it ( she can not move sun or moon ), and Twilight did not turn into Alicorn, and she did not changed her form, and she also did not had hundreds of years to practice her new powers or gain any experience.
In other words Twilight have only several years of experience with powers on Alicorn level, she did not had any teacher who would help her learn how to control it, more or less use it, Twilight do not even know to many spells, and yet when she face Nightmare Moon, she not only survive Nightmare Moon attack ( while still having Unicorn body what should not survive ), she also beat Nightmare Moon with easy ( do Nightmare Moon is stronger or do they are on the same power level, Nightmare Moon still have Alicorn body what should withstand 40 times more damage then Unicorn body, and she have hundreds of years of experience when Twilight only several years ).
So I really do not like the idea that Twilight could survive Nightmare Moon attack and beat her with easy ( considering that Nightmare Moon went all out in her rage, so no excuse that she went easy on filly ), it just make no sense.
Even if Twilight would turn into Alicorn after stealing power from Celestia, it would explain how she survived Nightmare Moon attack, but it would no be good enough how she could beat more experienced opponent.
2649573 Sorry, it's my job. *kills evil Twilight filly with a Caster Gun #4 shell to the face*
No mercy for the guilty...