Halo Equestria

by FANsparkledash

Prologue

Author: FANsparkledash
Editor: None. Please message me if your interested.
*Author Notes; I'm sorry about the confusion of Octavia. I didn't know she was a background character in the actual show. Please note that this is just another pony name 'Ovtavia'. Character, and looks are completely different. *

HALO EQUESTRIA

Prologue

“Earth” Sgt. Buck stated as we slowly flew by. No other words could creep out of Bucks mouth. We are station inside a UNSC air-ship known as 'The Pillar of Autumn'. What once laid grass of 'home' and 'land', was no longer our priority. Marines. The mission of holding whats left of our land... hopeless. It has been 2000 years since ponies has once inhabited earth. Only to be struck by a massive storm. An 'alien' species known as the 'covenant' bashed through our lands, in terms to find necessities such as food and water. But that didn't matter no more. In fact, nothing made clear sense anymore. Princess Celestia issued an emergency broadcast. It hosted nearly every server in Equestria. As Sgt. Buck attempts to get a last glimps of earth, the sirens suddenly went off. “Bravo 6-4 6-4; Covenant has breached the north-east side of--”.

I laid still and almost frozen in a tube. The marines have developed 'Bio-Mechanicle Genetic Engineering'. Used by the marines to create a super-pony like pony known as Spartans. Steam hissed as my tube open. I assume I was locked inside for just a day.. until I took my first glimps. As I slowly open my eyes, I noticed my helmet displayed a HUD. It displayed my oversheild, my health, and my ammo. As I stepped out, I had the un-brightest sense, of what is going on. Sirens, red flashing lights, and suddenly I was stopped by a mare known as Private Octavia. “Sgt. Buck needs you at the north east corridor of the ship ASAP.” As I walk around, with wondrous curiosity, I began to have a sudden flashback. It was the year 3050. I had just enlisted in the marine core. A friend brought to my attention of a new technology known as Bio-Mechanicle Genetic Engineering. Lieutenant Colonel Fluttersarge(932nd Platoon Command) latest self-evaluation letter assignment for this year, included an unusual separate attachment. A contract for testing. Being just a young colt, I signed the contract, allowing scientist to a full test simulation on me. No matter what the consequences were, there weren't any loopholes to getting out of it. Oh.. I forgot to mention my name. My name is, or once was, Dashidor. I was named after my great great great grandmother Rainbow Dash. However... ever since I signed that contract... my name is Spartan I34(Master Chief as I was referenced by troops). Spartans are known to be the most Elite Troops of the military. Not even Echo4-3 Special Ops. Would even match up.

As I Began to follow Octavia, I could see the troops gathering up in there hornets stored across the ship. Taking off into the abyss of space. As we approached the north-eastern corridors a little mare came up to me in tears. “My daddy left me!!” she cried. As I looked at the little filly, she informed us her dad left in one of the escape pods without her. Being as heart felt, I made a promise to the filly to take care of her. As she climbed on my back, Ovtavia and I quickly trotted to Sgt. Buck. “Ponies. There has been a security breach somewhere in the north east side of the ship. There are only 5 escape pods left.” As he became to trot towards me, he hovered me a weapon. It was Pistol, a Beretta m09 to be exact. “Here--” He said only to be cut off by Covenant Tangos .

Bashing through the door. “Chief follow me!!” Octavia ordered me. Two specific breeds of Covenant, known as elites and grunts flooded the corridor hallways. As plasma shields were thrown I notice something. They have no hoofs... nor the less do they have any pony parts. They we human like alien figures. Purple and green. The elites stand tall, and first with plasma pistols. The grunts were small, and seemed almost a little funny. They said historically funny sayings. ...They spoke English. I was amazed. As I gazed at them, Ovtavia grabbed my hoof, and pulled me to a safe cover. “Your gonna get us killed!” I stopped to look at the filly on top of me. She gave me a reason to keep focus. I look at Octavia and give her a nod. “Do you know how to use that weapon?” she asked. “Of course, Marines don't train you on just one weapon you know..” I responded. “Well use it!” putting the filly down getting ready to fire, my troops had already cleared out the room. I hovered the filly back on me. And Octavia and I trotted along many hallways firing at any covenant enemies in our path. Suddenly we came finding ourselves trotting through this dark tunneled hallway. I noticed a light in my helmet turns on. “Your helmet is provided with many features. Along with your HUD, you have a flashlight. I'm not sure if anypony gave you a briefing on this, but listen up to this short lesson on your armor. Your HUD displays an oversheild bar, your ammo, and your flashlight energy. Your armor consist of one oversheild. Once you are shot enough, your green bar, turns to red. This is your health. Once that red bar is gone... your gone. So watch yourself okay..?” she said raising her hoof. Octavia seemed like a nice pony. She was a white unicorn, and had the most beautiful red mane. Her mane has purple, pink, and blue highlight stripes in one side. She seemed to be the person to follow I thought to myself at this point. If I'm going to learn anything about whats going on... shes the mare to follow. She stood as a TSgt(Technical Sergeant). I assume she knows a little more about the mission than I do, due to the fact she's helping me out by order of Sgt. Buck.

The filly that laid on top of me has kept quiet for quit some time. Not saying a word... scared...We all finally approached the escape pods. All but one remains. As we approached, Octavia looked at us. “I'm sorry..... but my mission is done.” she began trotting along the hallways in search of fellow troops. “Wait!” Octavia stopped. “why-y can't you come?” I asked feeling sad. “my mission was to take you hear... not to accompanied you. I'm sorry...” She said with a tear in her eye. She dashed her hair across her eyes to attempt to hide that tear. As she trotted away... I felt a saddened heart. Foolish of me. A crush on Ovtavia? I thought later to myself. As I entered the escaped pod with the filly still on my back. I sat her down next to me as we sat on the rugged seats. I hesitated. Suddenly, I hear this...electronic sounding pony... and a vision blurred me in the eyes. “Chief, Press the button Chief.” a purple like figure. Octavia must have secretly microchiped my helmet! This pony figure... was giving me an order..? As confused as I was... I leaned over to the launch button. Hesitated and scared, I pressed it. The rockets of the escaped pod fired up. Slowly as we begin to launch... I cannot stop thinking of Octavia. 'Will I ever see her again?' Questions rolled throughout my head. The filly beside me still has not said a word. I came close to her and hugged her. “It'll be alright.” I said, trying to break a smile. Our orbit was suddenly changed by a pull of gravity. As we looked through the small circle sized window. We see this giant ring structure. Suddenly... we began dropping at speeds of 500 Mph into its orbit. As we continue to speed faster and faster, I tightly hugged the filly protecting her from impact. A red blinking light starts flashing. As we finally reached the lowest hemisphere. We crashed 5 feet under the soil of this planet.

Comments

[ponyaddict]

Walls of text, spelling errors, grammatical errors, homonym errors, and disjoint sentences.

I don't know of an error that this doesn't commit. I can't comment on the meat of your ideas, it is literally too painful to read. Spend some time with a literary style guide, a spell checker, and a dictionary. THEN send it to an editor, then run it past a copy editor.

tl;dr: needs work.

[Commander Ponysun]

what is this

[CurrentlyFapping]

I can't honestly tell if this is just an attempt at a troll or a very young child's afternoon writing things on his mothers computer.

[FANsparkledash]

406842
This is not suppose to be a troll fic!! its a serious fan fic. It tells a story! Its suppose to be awsome...

[CurrentlyFapping]

408291
Well I wasn't trying to be mean.
I'm just going to be honest with you, it's not very well written at all.

[Blaze Spectrum]

If you correct the obvious grammical and words used at wrong times, then mabye you'll get a like.

[FANsparkledash]

409618
I Dont EVEN Care about this FanFic anymore!!!! InFACT i don't Care AT ALL!!! I am DONE Hearing These Comments!!! Its bad enough someone stole my Title!!! and Now i Haft To listen to this!!!!!

[FANsparkledash]

409618 Dear Rainbow Dash756, I sevierly appologize for my comment. I am soooo sorry its just i dont know what came over me. A lot was going on at the time.. and i honestly dont mean to expload on you. Im extreamly sorry, and hope you can accept my appology.

[Alexander Hawthorne]

Hey mate;
I really didn't think was as awful as the comments made it sound. Perhaps re-work it with Word and fix it up ( Pro tip, put in paragraph breaks ) And it would go a lot further towards getting some more positive feedback. Also, if writing is something you really love doing don't quit!! Just keep trying :)

[FANsparkledash]

406445 This is a fan fiction. This is also a Fan-fiction site. You read Fan-fiction here.

[Blaze Spectrum]

409805 Apology accepted. I'm not the type to hold grudges.

In fact, I'm changing my dislike to like.

[Blaze Spectrum]

What?! My Halo/MLP:FIM fic is more popular than yours?!

I feel sorry for you.

Nah, they must've thought dislike meant dis I like.

[Blaze Spectrum]

Now I think you should get MORE ATTENTION. Halo fics are popular but how come only 85 people noticed THIS?

[FANsparkledash]

425233 Ty soooooo much for your intrest in my story!! I'm not sure why its not that popular. I think people are just not seeing it for some reason. But Im really glad you want it to get for attention!

[FANsparkledash]

425233 I have been editing this, and working on chapter 1. I do admit though, I have been kinda lazy about writing it. After two paragraphs of writing I got a kinda side tracked. But I think you might be th motivation I need to Finnish it. so I'm dedicating chapter 1 to you! I shall Finnish it by Friday.

[QuintupletPony]

Not a bad idea, and not awful delivery, just needs some work. Think about practicing writing a bit more and studying other people's writing. Also you need a kick-flank editor ( like the one I have ) without one your work won't be as good. In lack of an editor try to get pre-readers, they can give valuable input and good ideas before you put the fic up for public view. I dunno, that's what I do, and I think my stories turn out okay, not the best, but okay.

Shortened version. Work on grammar and style, break up paragraphs and make new paragraphs for dialogue. Also get other people to check your grammar for mistakes you miss, and to give you input on how to improve. Spend time writing and take some time to read your own work, you have potential but sub-par delivery.

[Slaphappy16]

oh god... i wanted to be nice... but this... i don't even know.
If you are trying to make this ANYTHING like halo, this needs work.

First of all, the Beretta M9 is a pistol used today. If your looking to use a Halo pistol, try using the M6G Personal Defense Weapon System. Also, if he is a SPARTAN, that would mean he never enlisted, rather was stolen as a child and trained, bio-augmented, and actually knew how to use his armor. You make him look like a brain-dead zombie. Also, what is a filly doing on the Pillar of Autumn. If your basically using the one from Halo 1 and Reach, this isn't going to happen. It was not a ship used for evacuation, and don't tell me it was bring your child to work day. Also, it was destroyed with Halo Alpha.

If he is the Spartan you say he is, he would know that grunts can speak English. The war has been going on for 27 years, this isn't going to be his first battle. I mean, come on. He didn't know he had a bloody flashlight. That's like not know your car had a steering wheel.

Don't go whining because people tell you this sucks, because it does. I see you have apparently been working on it from the comments, but this isn't going to work. The reason people are not noticing it is because it has already failed. The dislikes overpower the likes to much for it to be fixed. I would scrap it and start over new if I were you.

[FANsparkledash]

I was 15 (maybe 16) years old when I wrote this. I'm 19 now. I look back at my replies and see how dumb and fragile I was. Lel.