Late Fees

by Strythio

Dear Diary

Dear Diary:

Today, I once again could not get a drink in Cloudsdale. As lame as it sounds, I could really use one right about now. None of that cider crap either, but a dash of rainbow would fit it fine.

Wow... That reads even worse than it sounds, and I penned it! I want to get back home, but my parents are adamant about me not ruining this job's opportunity. I can hear them now complaining about how I ruined my relationship with one of the Elements, and how it could have gotten me kicked right out of the country..

What do they know? Lame Dash chose her lameo new friends over me, I am cool with that. Element of loyalty my flank... Guh... Scratch that, I can't believe I even wrote that.

The shit I have to put up with as an Equestrian griffon. Alot of others take the pill and swallow it like pussy cats with their wings clipped.

I am far too cool for that. I spit the pill right between the eyes! All they care about is what is going to keep them happy, so by my talons I will do the same. Whose great idea was it to strip even the princesses of their magic during the Equestrian Games?

Hellllo, prime time to cap one of those overstuffed unicorn pegasus ponies.

Ah forget it. Moon's eye, all the rainbow stopped flowing and...

A crash interrupted Gilda's thoughts for a moment, causing her to sigh.

Gilda put down her pen, staring off towards the lone window that illuminated her room. A screeching noise could be heard, the griffon cringing upon hearing it ring out.

She was alone in a cloud room, with only a single window letting in any light. Beds were hardly necessary here in Cloudsdale; after all, sleeping on condensation was the equivalent of a water bed anyways.

"Will you keep it down!" Gilda shouted, "Some of us are trying to vent here!"

As if in response, a distance breaking of glass and an incoming grey object sped its way towards Gilda.

The rock came crashing through the window, narrowly missing Gilda's beak. Instead it knocked into her diary, tearing the page she had been working on with the sheer force of the throw.

Gilda frowned and looked out the window, eyes settling on the home next door.

So that was the way they were going to play? Gilda retrieved the rock and stormed from her room. There was only one way out of this room, and since the window had been completely shattered anyways, Gilda simply removed the frame and glass from the cloud opening.

It served as a makeshift door of sorts, and upon lightly closing it, Gilda stormed over to her neighbor. A single street separated them, all of made of clouds of course. They did not call the place Cloudsdale for kicks.

The small cloud house was not very large, and one of its two windows had been shattered open, likely from the throwing of the rock.

There was quite the racket inside, the sounds of fowl play echoing into the night. Either sompony was failing at a video game or some very rough play was going on behind those white walls. Maybe even a burgalry in progress.

Gilda could care less which it was at the moment, and with a balled left fist, the rock in the right, she banged on what she felt was the door. Hard to tell sometimes, but the effect would be all the same.

A few seconds later, the cloud door opened. A pegasus dressed in all white snickered, a white sack slung over the shoulder. A stallion based on the build, the pony found nothing to laugh about when he stared into the fuming form of Gilda Griffon.

"Wait, hold on..." the pony attempted to explain, but Gilda already had him by the throat with her free hand.

"If you throw a rock through my window again, I will pound you so hard, Princess Luna will feel it in your dreams." She seethed with rage, bringing her face to face with the target of her fury. She only separated to hold the pony out, the sack long having dropped to the ground.

Twas no idle threat her statement, for the already irked griffon brought her rock hand down upon the pony's head. Her threat had come far sooner than the pony had desired, and despite heart-feeling pleas, Gilda continued smashing at the pony in frustration and anger.

Before long, the unconscious pony was thrown to the cloud street in front of the door. For extra measure, Gilda threw the rock at the pony's head, the satisfying bounce adding insult to traumatic injury.

Just as she turned to return home, another pegasus rushed from the dwelling. This one seemed to be a mare, but Gilda hardly concerned herself with checking every pony she met for gender differences. The mare looked at the sack, to the pony, and then to Gilda.

With two talons, the griffon brought them to point towards her eyes, and then back at the pony again. She knew this mare well, for red and late seemed to come together at the first of the month. "Gilda is watching you."

The pony did not seem terrified in the least, and in fact, upon kicking the sack back into their abode, actually smiled. "Thanks, I will not be late again."

"No trouble," Gilda replied as she headed back home, "Just make sure you do not repeat last month's late payment. You know how shit flies when ponies are constantly late."

The mare maybe nodded, maybe shook her head; Gilda did not care. She returned to her abode, and with some spit and glue, mended her injured diary. She took up a pen again, preparing to finish off her entry.

Where was I? Oh yes. Full moon, rainbow run dry. I swear, the rock through the window to alert me thing is really getting old. It was kind of funny the first couple times, but I am starting to run out of glass. Need to attach a damn bell to my charges...

Note to self. Buy cowbell and string for clients.

Gilda, out.

Author's Note:

This was kind of something short that I came up with late at night, wanting to get some idea out of my head before it interfered with what I was working on any further. Hope you enjoyed it;

Comments

[Baree]

...
I don't get it.

[crowscrowcrow]

I don't quite get it.
Gilda is running a protection service of some kind?
It seems like the mare threw the rock to get her attention, but Gilda accuses the stallion?
Red and late? Is it about a mare that cant pay rent and the homeowner confiscating items as payment?

I did however really enjoy the way it was written.

[Strythio]

4336411
4336404

Originally I had a post explaining, well, everything, but then I realized that would defeat the purpose of writing it the way I did.

So instead, I offer these questions which, upon yourself answering, may clear some things up.

If, by chance, it is indeed Gilda's job to respond to neighborhood break-ins, why did she not respond immediately? She had at least one major sound that something was amiss next door.

More important to the humor of it all; why hurl a rock through the window? That same rock, in a different set of hands, solved the problem without further intervention.

Did the stallion or the mare throw it? Gilda assumes that it was the mare after all is said and done, but there is the possibility that it was the stallion who in fact threw the rock.

And of course, even I am wondering now in hindsight; what was in the sack that the mare just nonchalantly kicked back into her home? Who did I intend on that stallion to be other than a burglar?

I hope that helps.

[crowscrowcrow]

4337367

If, by chance, it is indeed Gilda's job to respond to neighborhood break-ins, why did she not respond immediately? She had at least one major sound that something was amiss next door.

So you are saying it's not her job.
I figured it was because Gilda is Gilda, and she seems the type that would neglect her work to finish what she wants to do first.

More important to the humor of it all; why hurl a rock through the window? That same rock, in a different set of hands, solved the problem without further intervention.

Honestly, I am still wondering how in the hay a rock ended up in Cloudsdale, and how it managed to stay there. But that's a nitpick.
Either the rock was accidental, or it was intended to alert/anger Gilda.
Gilda's comment suggest it was the latter, and that it happens often.

Did the stallion or the mare throw it? Gilda assumes that it was the mare after all is said and done, but there is the possibility that it was the stallion who in fact threw the rock.

Either answer does not appear to help further understand what is happening.
Stallion: Gilda apparently beat up the pony that alerted her. Unlikely.
Mare: Gilda is alerted and beats up the intruder.

And of course, even I am wondering now in hindsight; what was in the sack that the mare just nonchalantly kicked back into her home? Who did I intend on that stallion to be other than a burglar?

If even you are wondering, then wouldn't that mean you had no other role for him in mind when you wrote it?

I am still as lost as I was before.

[Strythio]

4337516

So you are saying it's not her job.

I figured it was because Gilda is Gilda, and she seems the type that would neglect her work to finish what she wants to do first.

It may not be her "write it on a formal report" job, but it is definitely a "job".

No, she just arrived "late" as a response to the lack of punctuality in her mare client.

Honestly, I am still wondering how in the hay a rock ended up in Cloudsdale, and how it managed to stay there. But that's a nitpick.

Either the rock was accidental, or it was intended to alert/anger Gilda.

Gilda's comment suggest it was the latter, and that it happens often.

Same way furniture ends up there. A piece of cloud in your house would probably have the same novelty that a rock does in the sky.

Aye, on the nose, more or less. The mare paid late last month, and we can assume that she has not paid for this month either, so if she can't get Gilda to come over as part of her job, then she'll get her to come over as an angry neighbor. Assuming of course the mare threw the rock.

Either answer does not appear to help further understand what is happening.

Stallion: Gilda apparently beat up the pony that alerted her. Unlikely.

Mare: Gilda is alerted and beats up the intruder.

If the stallion threw the rock, his intention had not been to break Gilda's window. He likely put two and two together once he came out, hence the need to try to explain to the angry griffon rather than outright flee.

Now, if the mare threw it, we can assume that she purposely aimed for the window; after all, there was only a window opening, so the odds of her randomly throwing it out of her own window to crash right into Gilda's (nearly hitting her in the process) are pretty slim. Though she might have been aiming for the hard to spot cloud door and accidentally hit the window.

Story suggests the former, but you can take the latter too.

If even you are wondering, then wouldn't that mean you had no other role for him in mind when you wrote it?

I am still as lost as I was before.

Perhaps I should have considered not leaving so much ambiguous; I found it funny cause my imagination ran wild with the potential answers, but I might have overdid it a bit.

I hope the above clears everything up, and does not negatively impact your reading of the short story.

[crowscrowcrow]

4337705

Ah I see what's going on now then.
Thanks for clearing that up.
My initial thought of Gilda running some mafia like 'protection' was actually pretty close, before I started overthinking it. xD

[Strythio]

4337777

Yup, so close that you could say that.