- Member Since 21st Mar, 2014
- offline last seen Jun 4th, 2016
Deep Voiced Maniac
Hello, My name is Deep Voiced Maniac. I`m a Monster, that likes to write about walking, talking, technicolor ponies. I also read, draw, and play video games. Please don`t be mean. Thank you Sir/Madam.
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Please comment your opinion!
I should start by saying that, can`t wait for Destiny!
Anyway, It was good and can`t wait for more chapters!
Keep writing!
4130592 Why Thank you! More chapters are coming up soon! Thanks for the read!
i.imgur.com/IJefJqN.gif
Oh no you didn't.
The game hasn't even been released yet.
I can't wait for this game I already preordered and getting the beta!!! The story is great so far. I can't wait to read more!!!!!!
4130956 Still have to go to school. (Sucks), hopefully another chapter will be up tomorrow. Glad you`re enjoying!
4130744 And Bungie said it`s a free world, which by default means I can write a fanfic.
4130736 Why Not?
4131214
No, i'm not saying you can't. You are completely free to do whatever you want with this fic, as it is your own and nobody can change the fact you have full control over writing it.
It just struck me because, well, that is near-identical to the most popular fic in this fandom, and some people may notice that and not take kindly to it.
I didn't downvote, mind you. Personally i'm rather interested in bungie taking a different direction with their sci-fi concepts. This stuck out because, well, it really wasn't necessary to do. I know you probably liked it or thought the description of the other fic was cool, but emulating another person exactly isn't the best thing to do. Your story is exactly that: your story.
It's a really small thing but I could see a few people who are fairly critical and easy to draw downvotes from passing by and seeing that, then proceeding to leave a dislike for that reason. Maybe they would think you are copying or ripping off the fic, who knows. Maybe they'll just be upset that you didn't take the time to write your own description instead of swapping words with another for the greater part.
Again, i'm not pushing you to change anything. I may suggest a slight change because others probably won't take too kindly to that.
Best of luck writing.
4131327 Oh that...
I am a huge fan of Kkat`s work and have nothing but respect for her. I have read Fallout: Equestria atleast (I counted by the way.) 37 times. But she kinda doesn't have copyright for three words?
4131348
No, but for a comparison:
4131213 Nothing saying you can't write a fanfic, but why the hell are you writing one about a game that hasn't even come out yet?
Not trying to come off as hostile, but what's the point?
Meh.
10/17
4131492 I`ll see what I can do. Check back later.
4132835 Please explain:
Meh. 10/17
Please.
Next Chapter will either be up today or tomorrow!
Thanks for finally crediting me, Deep.
4154896 No, prob Ant.
4135521 I think the issue is that the story feels too rushed. One moment, Tank and Deadshot are trying to rip each other's throats out, and the next, they're making out in a jail cell. Try to pace the emotion better. Also, the names themselves are pretty bland. Try givving the characters, Character. Not trying to be rude, but this is constructive criticism.
Is the main character a guy? If so, I'm leaving.
If pony ear anatomy is the same as human ear anatomy, Deadshot can't balance now. At. All.
4164540 No, Deadshot is a mare. Mystic is also a mare. And Tank is a stallion.
4164626 Probably not. But, I`m revising the story and something else brutal happens...
4164534 Yeah, I thought about that too. But, anyway, I`m revising it anyway so the story is gonna be down for a couple days and during that the next chapter will be out. Just have bin busy lately, and haven`t had time to write. Nonetheless, thank you for the comment and the story will be changed a bit, so something else happens. Also, it was a kiss, they were not making out...
What's with the dislikes? Dude, this reads fine. You don't go on and on, you're writing style's good and you've got this little thing going called dramatic tension that I really like. I think it's a good piece, and I guess that for some reason people are having a hard time understanding it...? I dunno. Anyway, if you're looking for improvements, I guess that it can feel a little random at times, cos your different sentences aren't always directly related to each other and kinda feel like lots of little punches to the face as opposed to one nice, continuous slap (bad analogy, I know). Other than that, I guess that they're usually a little short, but personally I think that's just your style coming through. Anyway, don't sweat the haters, dude, you're doing great. Peace
4202264 Yeah, I been wondering as well...
Anyway, thanks for the read and sorry for keeping people waiting, I`ve been busy; I just got a letter saying I`m failing and I`m trying to bring my grades up...
New chapter coming soon...
All about Mystic, since I haven`t really focused on her a lot, so...yeah.
Me and Anthony will get on that...
Seig Heil!...