A Day in the Life of a Reformed Chaos Lord

by Gamer Script

An Apple A Day Won't Keep Chaos Away

"Hey, you know what's kinda funny?" I said as I take a bite of a pear, floating alongside the confused Chaos God at my side, my eyes bored and dull as I look over towards him with a risen brow.

"What's that?" He asked with impartial interest as we walk through the fields of Equestria, walking calmly for once in a while as we wander aimlessly, no clear destination in sight. Though, I guess that's kinda what it means to 'wander aimlessly' so... Yeah, my bad.

"It feels like a lot has happened, but it's been like... Maybe fifteen minutes since we left the Wonderbolt Academy. Like, it feels like a lot of life changing events and stuff happened in the time between then and now... Dunno why." I said with a passive shrug as I toss the pear up and eat the it whole, spitting out the stem off to the side.

"Is that not bad for you? Or harmful to your insides somehow?" The chaotic dork asked me as I raise a brow at him in bemused intrigue.

"As far as you are aware, I only exist in your mind and as far as other ponies seem to be aware, I don't exist at all. What exactly is supposed to be harmful about it? Plus, I'm a magical talking pony. I doubt a pear is gonna do jack to me. Seeds or not." I say as I continue floating along, unscrewing a bottle with the word 'Neighgo' on it, to avoid copyright of course.

"... You really enjoy food, don't you?" He said in an obviously amused curiosity at my constant snacking as I take a swig and tuck the bottle beneath my wing in a satchel.

"What can I say, a stallion's gotta eat." I say with a shrug as we continue on, "By the way, might wanna duck." I say before vanishing from his sight.
"Duck? Why would I--" He was cut short as he came face to branch with an apple tree limb and fell over with a groan, his red and yellow eyes swirling before he conked his head to fix them, "A better warning would've been absolutely wonderful..."

"Hey, I told you t'duck. Not my fault you decided to not listen. Also, frustrated farmers at two o'clock." I said just before, as if on cue, the apple family came stomping up. Namely, Applejack and Silent Giant Big Macintosh. I've already written out Applebloom, didn't feel like doing it again.

"Who or what in Equestria are you on about?" DIscord asked me instead of paying attention to the huffing horses in front of him, "... Oh right." He said in realization as he finally paid his attention to Applejack and her elder brother, "Good--" he looks at a newly acquired watch on his wrist as he looked back, "Afternoon Applejack, Big Mac. How are you this fine--"

"Don't'chu go n' pretend y'ain't done nothin' wrong, Discord. Ah' could hear Twilight n' Rare from here. I'm tellin' y'now, if'n y'think we're just gonna let'cha be a nuisance 'round here too!" she shouted at Discord with a disgruntled irritation. A very well placed irritation as well if I do say so myself.

"No no, Applejack! I was simply trying to--"

"Lemme guess. Ah' got it all wrong cause all y'were tryin' t'do was help but cause'a yer' magic it ended up turnin' out wrong an' yer' bored without Fluttershy around, so yer' goin' e'erywhere t'find somethin' t'do which'erself. Sound 'bout right?"

... "... Well?" I dunno, man that's pretty spot on. I really don't think I need to narrate the obviousness that is the fact she's just friggin' right. "You're useless."

"Excuse you?" Applejack said in a more frustrated tone as Discord looked over at her in shock.

"Nononono, Applejack my dear friend, that had nothing at all to do with you! Honest!" Discord said, attempting to save his own skin once mo--

"And yer' friend can quit that too."

... What? "What?"

"Judgin' from yer' confusion, Ah'm just gonna go out on a limb an' say that what Twilight and Pinkie told me was true."

"... What is she talking about?" I have no clue, I haven't even written Pinkie into the story anywhere yet. She was supposed to be, like... Second to last chapter after Trixie.

"Twilight said that'chu were goin' on t'yer'self, talkin' like there was someone 'round 'r somethin'. Pinkie, though it sounded crazy, said that'cha made an imaginary friend'er somethin' that's got special powers that only you can see 'r talk to whenever yer' lonely."

"He's not an imaginary friend! He's the author of our story and the writer of every sentence that we say! Tell her!" ... "Cloud, narrate! Say something for Celestia's sake!"

... I mean... She may not be wrong, Discord.

"What? What are you on about? This world may not be of your design, but the actions, their words, what's happened thus far to us and especially at the Academy... It was all of your design! ... Wasn't it?"

Maybe? I dunno, I feel like I've got about as much power here as you or AJ or any of them... I might just be in your head or something and all the things going on may just be pure happenstance.

"I... I must go... I... Cloud, show us out." With pleasure, I guess. With that, Discord snapped his fingers and disappeared, myself being forced along with him.

Author's Note:

It has been a WHILE but I decided to come back to this. I guess this is kinda just something fun that I use for practice in writing. Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed this. Have a good day and all that.