This is the part where these kinds of emotional stories fall apart very quickly for me. Many authors can't seem to write a character expressing heartfelt sentiments like this. Characters suddenly can't, or just don't, express the core of their problems. Powerful emotional stuff either never comes out or fails to come out properly.
I've been waiting to see if you dropped the ball if or when Dash finally voiced her frustrations.
You didn't.
Congratulations. You have a great story happening here.
I have the same gripe. But yeah 4623053 this is amazing, I don't care if you get to any sex or not. The emotional build up, and characterizations is amazing. Keep on with the awesome work.
The next question is whether one of them can get hem all on the same page. They are not as far apart as they seem to think right now. Pinkie and Twilight were not there perhaps one of them could help now that they will know Rainbow Dash is not happy.
4623503 The same thing happened to me. I only found out about it when it popped up in an alert in my e-mail inbox a bit ago.
And, as I suspected, this chapter was well worth waiting for. Well done, my dear!
And i can't wait for Chapter 6 to see what happens next!
One thing that I'd really like to see happen, though (though it probably won't, I'm sure) is for AJ to round on Rarity and take her to task for what she said to Dash in Chapter...4, I think it was?...
You know:
“I am. I have to be a Wonderbolt. I can’t be anything else. I can’t be a weather pony. I have to be a Wonderbolt. That’s what you said, right, Rarity?”
“Well, yes it is—”
(Bolds by me for emphasis.)
Mainly, I wish that she'd say something to her like: "Why would you say that, Rarity?! Why?! She was gonna take a better way for awhile, and you had to tell that bein' a Wonderbolt was all that she can be?! What the hay would you even say somethin' like that to her in the state she's in?!"
Which won't happen, I know. But I still wish she'd rank her about it somehow, now that she knows that Dash wasn't lying to her about it.
On another note, all I can say is "wow". And dang it, Dash! You really know how to cut ties, don't you?!
Please don't make us wait too long for Chapter 6, okay? I'm already dying of suspense and anticipation here!
Wow. That was the general gist of what I told Amy once when she tried to stop me from breaking myself, only less about the not caring and more caring too much. I cared for her and the others so much, I was doing that hard training so I could protect them. But I was only hurting myself, and worrying the others. Dash, I feel your pain.
Her friends worded things badly. They know that as a Wonderbolt, she might get hurt. For the entertainment of others, at that, not for something "worthwhile."
Pretty senseless.
But in the words of a great philosopher, there is a fine line between senseless, and stupid.
Dash crosses that line on a semi-regular basis, and this time did so spectacularly.
That's what gets them the most. If she'd stick to hurting herself without stupidity, I'm sure they'd appreciate it.
It was great at first, and it's still nice to read, but you are dragging this out way too freaking long. Everything was pretty much spot on at first, from characterization to the quality of the writing, but for some reason things just seem to have gone down hill starting with Applejack's scene. It's just, why did all the characters suddenly lose common sense? What purpose did completely twisting Applejack's characterization serve? Oh, I know the excuse is that she was angry, but that doesn't freaking cut it here. She would have known not to say something like that at such a sensitive time. More than that, she wouldn't have said it at all because that's not something Applejack does. I mean, a misunderstanding is one thing, but in this case she literally said she and all the others would just stop caring about her.
What's worse is that all of this nonsense started because of the absolutely ridiculous misunderstanding where Rainbow thinks they don't want her to follow her dreams because she can't understand the difference between getting hurt due to stupidity, and the actual dangerous part of stunt flying. Rainbow's not a freaking idiot. I'm getting sick of most of the stuff after Applejack's part because it seems like most of it is only possible because of a large number of contrivances. I mean, Rainbow's done a lot of stuff while getting prepared to join the Wonderbolts. Remember the academy episode? The entire point of that episode was not to push yourself to the point of endangering yourself and others, and it's a lesson Rainbow Dash easily understood. The idea that suddenly she's completely forgotten all of that, combined with the idea that the freaking Wonderbolts books would have an idea that ridiculous to begin with is pretty much just destroying my SoD.
I'm sorry, but if this pointlessly drawn out drama doesn't end by (at most) two chapters or so, I'm just going to have to drop it. It was a great idea, the writing is excellent (seriously, you're awesome at describing the scenery and showing instead of telling), but the part it's at right now just feels so contrived that it's actually making me more annoyed than anything else. I'm sorry for the rant, but I just don't want to see something bring down an otherwise great story.
I'm sorry, but that's just ridiculous. Honestly, Rarity had an awesome point in that Rainbow would be amazing as a Wonderbolt. If anything, it should be Rarity snapping at Applejack for saying such ridiculously OOC stuff to Rainbow. Then again, considering all of this is due to Rainbow not realizing that the danger of being a Wonderbolt is not because they act stupid while flying, there's pretty much no right answer. The right answer would be it wouldn't have come up in the first place considering, you know, Rainbow's not a moron.
4624220 Okay, I'm sorry, but how, exactly, is that ridiculous? Rarity (and, if memory serves, Pinkie) was the one who said that to Dash about the only thing (career-wise) for her was being a Wonderbolt. Which was ludicrous on top of everything else. Rainbow can be what she chooses to be, not what anypony else says that she has to be, and has no choice in the matter. That's the point that I was trying to make, and why I'd like to see AJ take a certain prissy fashionista to task for her ill-judgment.
(And it doesn't help that I don't really like Rarity, anyway. Not to say I hate her, but I just generally don't like her.)
And AJ was upset. People (or in this case, Ponies) tend to say incredibly dumb stuff when they're as obviously upset as Applejack was in Chapter 4.
(What? Like you haven't ever? I know that I have, and regretted it intensely later, like AJ did in this chapter, and apologized for it.)
And also, she was upset because she and Flutters are obviously a thing now, and she was just being protective (likely overly so, admittedly) of Fluttershy.
They say hurtful stuff and then let it fester. Dash had no time between guilt trips, and reached a boiling point. It also is ludicrous to yell a bunch of stuff, and then try to take it back as the element of honesty...
I can't wait until the wrestling but damn this is good.
Rainbow can be what she chooses to be, not what anypony else says that she has to be, and has no choice in the matter.
This is where the problem is. That was the entire point behind everything Rarity said to Rainbow. She wasn't saying that Rainbow had no choice in the matter, but that she should do what she thinks she would love the most, which is being a Wonderbolt. Remember, that part where Rainbow was thinking of being a weather pony and nothing else was just Rainbow basically deluding herself in order to protect her friends, and Rarity saw exactly what she was doing and stopped her before she just dropped all of her dreams. Also, remember that Rarity didn't say being a Wonderbolt is the only thing she'd be good at. Heck, even she agreed that Rainbow would be (and already is) an awesome weather pony. The problem is that, since she doesn't actually get much enjoyment out of that, then what's the point.
That's the point that I was trying to make, and why I'd like to see AJ take a certain prissy fashionista to task for her ill-judgment.
Considering what I said above, I honestly find this rather ironic considering that it was actually AJ, and not Rarity, who was trying to say that Rainbow had no say in the matter. While Rarity was willing to help Rainbow achieve her dream (as long as she learned to not endanger herself so much), AJ literally said that she would abandon her if she kept on going, and that she would go out of her way to force everyone else to abandon her as well, going so far to say that she didn't even care for her anymore (good lord I hated her characterization here. It was just... ). So yeah, it actually seems like the only one trying to say what she can and can't do is AJ instead of Rarity.
And AJ was upset. People (or in this case, Ponies) tend to say incredibly dumb stuff when they're as obviously upset as Applejack was in Chapter 4.
Yes, that is true. The problem is that stuff like that tends to be pretty much immediately after the fact, and this is after AJ has had time to talk to the others. Honestly with the way she was acting I'd be surprised if Rainbow would even want to be her friend again. Saying she was angry was one thing, but actually lying to Rainbow and telling her that no one else would care about her, and that she'd try to force them to abandon her? And if it was over a believable issue, I might still accept it. The problem, again, is that this misunderstanding shouldn't even be happening. Rainbow, again, isn't stupid. She knows the difference between a job being dangerous, and going past that point due to being idiotically reckless. With everything she's done both in the show and from following the Wonderbolts, this should be obvious. The fact that this misunderstanding is happening at all makes this entire part with Applejack hard to accept, because it means all of this is just contrived.
This is kind of ridiculous imo. I think everything has been just drug out farther than it should have, if this doesn't wrap up, or hit some turning point in the story, I'm going to be very disappointed in what started out as a very very good story, but has gone quickly downhill.
4624180 You can't have both, it doesn't work that even in Equestria. The moment Rainbow Dash became the bearer of Loyalty her chance to be a Wonderbolt was erased. It's not even childish to think that she can have both, there is no way at all that will work. Indeed there is no way it can work, dreams die as we learn to live our lives as adults, that's just the way of life.
Poor Dash. She really needs a hug. I just want her to feel better, she's so good at tearing herself down. I want this to have been the absolute bottom, but we didn't see Twilight or Pinkie this chapter, so I fear there might be further down to go.
4624202 Nothing you've said is incorrect, and I agree with all of it.
Well, except maybe this:
but in this case she literally said she and all the others would just stop caring about her.
That's only what Rainbow Dash interpreted Applejack as saying. What Applejack really said was that caring about Rainbow Dash while knowing Dash will get herself hurt again, and knowing that there was nothing she could do to prevent it, Applejack would rather not care about her at all instead, because caring just hurt too much.
Is that something Applejack would never feel? Maybe. Is that something she would never say? Maybe.
And I'm not sure about this, either:
The entire point of that episode was not to push yourself to the point of endangering yourself and others
Lightning Dust's problem, the problem that almost made Rainbow Dash quit altogether, was that Lightning Dust's reckless behavior put others in danger. Dash never made any mention of being upset that Lightning Dust was putting herself in danger, and Dash has recklessly put her own self in danger many times throughout the show. But no one has ever called her out for it, because she's miraculously escaped any and all injuries every single time.
Because, you know, it's a cartoon.
Besides that, you nailed it.
I'm sorry, but if this pointlessly drawn out drama doesn't end by (at most) two chapters or so, I'm just going to have to drop it.
That's funny, because that's exactly the number of chapters left in this fic.
Fascinating as always. I wonder if they'll recruit Twilight to gather information on Wonderbolt safety procedures. Maybe snap at Applejack a bit for her behavior the night previous. I do still have a bit of hope for having an actual Wonderbolt coming in and tell Rainbow how stupid she's being.
Anyways, a great chapter. I started off sort of annoyed at Applejack's sudden 180 on grounds of it ending the conflict last chapter prematurely, but when you kept it going on Rainbow Dash's side it completely shoved those thoughts away.
Man! I am REALLY enjoying this story, and we haven't even gotten to the clop, yet. Just goes to show that this thing is well written, considering I started reading for the mature tag, and now I'm reading for the fantastic story. I also find it interesting how well you seem to be tying in the hints at what is to come – in the form of the sex and mature tags – with a very deep and thoughtful storyline.
I find myself checking more than once a day to see if this piece has updated, and I can honestly say I very much look forward to the next chapter.
I, at times, find myself questioning how dramatic Rainbow Dash is being, but drugs do weird things to the mind, assuming she's on painkillers.
I'm sorry, but I applaud Rainbow for this. I have my reasons and I can fill pages but currently I'm on my tablet and it's hard to type but damn it, Rainbow did a good thing here. They haven't given her a chance to talk and then guilting her, making her feel like she's the bad mare and they're the martyrs, no. That shit don't play right with me.
Yes, while some things may seem OOC in this story, it's because, well it's a story. It's only fpr entertainment and damn this entertains me so.
To be honest, I don't even think we need clop. I kinda wanna see Rainbow ditch everyone and just be happy someplace else.
Well now since it has become an anti-recklessness thing, I'll weigh in on that by saying the rest of the girls have become a bunch of nags, and hypocritical ones at that.
Dash's recklessness is one of the core bits of her character, like Pinkie's annoying laughter, AJ's told you so, Twilight's insanity, and Fluttershy's shyness. It is what allows her to be the first to charge in first against monsters, and has been responsible for saving all of her friends at least once. Yet when it becomes an inconvenience, they want to get rid of it and turn her into Fluttershy.
And once again, they really do offer no alternative way to become a wonderbolt. There is no other flight academy or stunt school, and if their was, she still has to leave her friends to go attend it, making whether her friends sign off on it or not a moot point, she wouldn't see them again anyway. Hell, there could even be arguments that the reason she hasn't gone to such places is that she wants to stay with her friends on Ponyville, or HAS to because she's an Element.
But the reason that this thing is getting my down-vote is you did the obvious plot hole of Dash listening to a single source when she has had years of teaching all the way from when she was a child and experience, but you focus on a book.
I almost- no not almost, I just do- like that this hasn't turned into a real clop fic yet. I like the angst, and I think it would be good for all of them, especially Rainbow, to let go of their friendship... as terrible as that sounds.
This is an awesome story. I love it when the little ponies get emotional and spend a long time just brimming with tears before breaking down. I know people have been making jokes about the sex tag and a general lack of sex scenes, but this reads like emotional pornography to me and I love it.
This fic has done a nice job of totally alienating all of Rainbow Dash's friends, well nearly all. Twilight is the only pony who seemed honestly rebuked the first time she realised how badly they had all been getting on Rainbow Dash's case while she was sick and injured. I am still holding out a hope for some Twidash in this fic, and the sexual tension around Rainbow Dash is awesome. Even Pinkie Pie snuggles were good and I usually don't like Pinkie Pie in a romantic setting, because she is so difficult to write and either ends up being too looney or not looney enough. But here she was spot on.
I'm hoping for more of this and hopefully her friends will all pull their heads out of that place where the sun doesn't shine and get back to supporting Rainbow Dash. Great fic.
“It isn’t the same at all,” Applejack said. “They try not to get hurt. They do everythin’ they can to keep from gettin’ hurt. You didn’t just get into an accident, you went out of your way to get into an accident. Fluttershy told me you hadn’t practiced that stunt at all before. But you tried it anyway, when you knew you didn’t need to, and when you knew you hadn’t practiced it enough yet, and when you knew you could get yourself hurt.”
This. AJ nailed it perfectly. I could not have said it better myself.
That said, I hope they all manage to fix this potential friendship meltdown before someone says or does something they really can't take back or apologize for.
4698582 Okay, let's get one teeny-tiny l'il thing straight here, shall we?
I was making a point by using an example; I never said that any of that would happen, I said it might. But, let's face it; weirder things have happened in life.
My point was that everyone (or everypony, in this case) Gets. Hurt. at one time or another in their life. Doesn't matter how, it just happens sometimes. Sometimes it's bad, sometimes it's not. Hell, I fell off a swing in grade school once and busted my head open to the point that I was a very bloody mess, which scared my classmates and my teacher about to death and my parents had to come get me and take me to to the doctor and have stitches (one of only two times in my life, thank goodness). I was out of school for several days afterwards, but it taught me not to swing so high, or in such a crazy manner. Never forgot that, never will.
(Although at 57 years of age, I'm not real likely to get back in a swing like that again, anyway.)
Still, my point stands. If you live, you get hurt eventually, and sometimes by the craziest, least expected things.
That's the point that I was trying to make here. Nothing more, nothing less.
(And above and beyond that, while I do have an opinion on all this, I am not ignorant of what's going on in the story, thank you very much; I am quite aware of the other girls' concerns about Rainbow's actions and health; and I deeply resent your comment on that to the contrary!)
Fluttershy was so scared that it got her to break through her shell and tell Rainbow Dash how she felt. Fluttershy's upset is enough that Applejack became upset, and then lacked the tact to be able to put things to Rainbow Dash in anything other than absolutist terms. Twilight tried to talk about it analytically, but was interrupted, and couldn't figure out a good way to tell Dash. And Dash, who is explicitly noted to be on some pretty strong painkillers which often comes with a side-effect of not thinking clearly, has locked in on "seeing you crash hurts us" to mean "you are not allowed to crash under any circumstances," which means giving up her only life-long ambition. And that's exactly what Applejack's overly-broad ultimatum reinforced in her.
So, the straightforward resolution would seem to be Twilight coming in to discuss Wonderbolt flight safety procedures with her and Pinkie providing moral support. Since Twilight has wings now and Rainbow Dash does respect her book-learning, and Rainbow Dash also respects Fleetfoot's book, if Twilight comes in demonstrating that she's read the book and understands the contents, Dash might still listen to her. "See, Dash? Yes, she did the triple-backflip-set-herself-on-fire trick in practice... using cloud-rings instead of metal ones so she wouldn't hit anything hard, at fifteen thousand feet up so she'd have time to recover if she spun out, and with a spotter flying underneath to catch her if she fell anyway." And, given the clop warning, Twilight might prove that she's not disappointed-numb in more physical ways, to get Dash to listen to her.
I don't see a way that Rainbow Dash ever lets Fluttershy or Applejack watch her practice again, though, given their reactions so far.
I'm honestly not sure whether to respond to this considering how long it's been, but at the same time I want to respond since I never got any notification that you had responded. So, if you don't want to have me drag this up again, feel free to ignore this post or simply delete it.
Anyway, as for my reply:
That's only what Rainbow Dash interpreted Applejack as saying. What Applejack really said was that caring about Rainbow Dash while knowing Dash will get herself hurt again, and knowing that there was nothing she could do to prevent it, Applejack would rather not care about her at all instead, because caring just hurt too much.
Er, no. That's exactly what Applejack said. Sure, she had reasons for saying it (stupid and utterly nonsensical as they may be), but in the end she said she would stop caring, and get as many of the others to stop caring as well. That said, this doesn't even matter in the end, since all of the context in this situation makes no sense, which I'll get to in a little bit.
Because, you know, it's a cartoon.
A lot of stories like this one have this same problem. If you're making a story that takes away a lot of the cartoon elements, then you can't have the cartoon elements still happening. For example, Twilight survived a bunch of things including an anvil dropping on her head, got a full body cast, and was perfectly fine a few seconds later with no one questioning her apparently god-like healing abilities. Why? Because it's a cartoon. If a story (like this) tries to be more realistic, then obviously that scene never would have happened, because there's no way to justify it outside of cartoon logic. Trying to justify it just leads to faulty logic and OOC characters.
In this case, consider what I said in my comment:
What's worse is that all of this nonsense started because of the absolutely ridiculous misunderstanding where Rainbow thinks they don't want her to follow her dreams because she can't understand the difference between getting hurt due to stupidity, and the actual dangerous part of stunt flying.
Want to know what I love especially? The fact that the reason you give as to why she is never called out on her injuries (due to cartoon logic) actually contradicts the way Rainbow Dash trains in canon. Again, she's not stupid. She practices pretty much non-stop, and knows that while there can be dangers in joining the Wonderbolts, it doesn't mean she has to be reckless. Honestly, the arguments they made in this story don't make any sense considering Rainbow Dash doesn't just pull off stunts without having practiced first.
I guess my main problem with the drama in the last part of this story is that it shouldn't be happening for multiple reasons. It feels like a bunch of excuses and other convenient things have had to be forced in to let the drama happen, which instead of creating any kind of sadness for the characters just makes the reader angry for seeing characters be OOC so drama can happen.
I guess my main problem with the drama in the last part of this story is that it shouldn't be happening for multiple reasons. It feels like a bunch of excuses and other convenient things have had to be forced in to let the drama happen, which instead of creating any kind of sadness for the characters just makes the reader angry for seeing characters be OOC so drama can happen.
Yes, but you and I seem to disagree on exactly what is being contrived.
Rainbow Dash is reckless. That is a clearly defined aspect of her character and it has been since the beginning. I concede the point that she is shown practicing almost constantly, but there is nothing in the show that suggests she would never try a stunt she hasn't practiced much before, and there's a whole lot of in-show occasions that suggest she would.
If you're making a story that takes away a lot of the cartoon elements, then you can't have the cartoon elements still happening.
I'm not sure what you're suggesting I do. None of those cartoon elements are present in this story. But this story still has to use some of those cartoony situations as a jumping off point. There is no way around that,
Because, you know, it's fanfiction. Of a cartoon.
I can't rewrite canon and have Rainbow Dash get hurt in all those situations when she realistically should have. I can't base this story on a separate canon in which she did get hurt in all those situations. I can't even really find a particularly reasonable explanation for why she didn't get hurt in all those situations. But that shouldn't mean I'm not allowed to write a realistic story in which, after events of canon, or during, or whatever, she does get hurt in one of those sorts of situations, and then what happens as a result of that.
I'm writing a story about Rainbow Dash making a reckless decision that gets herself hurt. I can make that jive with the characters (at least I think I have), but I can never make that jive with the physical reality of the cartoon. It's an inevitable inconsistency, and the only thing I can do is lampshade it. I can't get rid of it.
Because it's a cartoon. If a story (like this) tries to be more realistic, then obviously that scene never would have happened, because there's no way to justify it outside of cartoon logic. Trying to justify it just leads to faulty logic and OOC characters.
Which is why I've made no attempt to justify any such scene.
Honestly, the arguments they made in this story don't make any sense considering Rainbow Dash doesn't just pull off stunts without having practiced first.
No, she doesn't. But she is clearly practicing many of her stunts in an extremely reckless manner, or else she wouldn't be crashing through windows in so many scenes.
In your interpretation of Rainbow Dash's character, you seem to have ignored each and every time she's crashed on screen.
Y'know what happens when I read five chapters of heartbreak when it comes to my favorite pony, and then come to the realization that it won't ever be resolved? I get really buckin' pissed.
4623014
No, I'm just an idiot is all.
4623053 Ah, there it is! And... Damnit, Dash.
Bravo. You've done an incredible job capturing Dash's emotions here.
Why is this so damn good?
Great work.
I was waiting to see how this part would go.
This is the part where these kinds of emotional stories fall apart very quickly for me. Many authors can't seem to write a character expressing heartfelt sentiments like this. Characters suddenly can't, or just don't, express the core of their problems. Powerful emotional stuff either never comes out or fails to come out properly.
I've been waiting to see if you dropped the ball if or when Dash finally voiced her frustrations.
You didn't.
Congratulations. You have a great story happening here.
Somebody call Fleetfoot in here to smack her around, please. She just keeps using that book as an excuse.
This chapter didnt show up in my favorites list or my notifications, I only even learned that it updated because it would up in the featured box =P
Fuck the sex man, keep doing this I love it!
and all this time Spike doesn't give a shit.
4623503
I have the same gripe. But yeah 4623053 this is amazing, I don't care if you get to any sex or not. The emotional build up, and characterizations is amazing. Keep on with the awesome work.
How sad, Rainbow will soon be made to chose between her duty and her dream. It's sad because many will resent her for making the right choice.
The next question is whether one of them can get hem all on the same page. They are not as far apart as they seem to think right now. Pinkie and Twilight were not there perhaps one of them could help now that they will know Rainbow Dash is not happy.
4623053 How are you an idiot?
4623503 The same thing happened to me. I only found out about it when it popped up in an alert in my e-mail inbox a bit ago.
And, as I suspected, this chapter was well worth waiting for. Well done, my dear!
And i can't wait for Chapter 6 to see what happens next!
One thing that I'd really like to see happen, though (though it probably won't, I'm sure) is for AJ to round on Rarity and take her to task for what she said to Dash in Chapter...4, I think it was?...
You know:
(Bolds by me for emphasis.)
Mainly, I wish that she'd say something to her like: "Why would you say that, Rarity?! Why?! She was gonna take a better way for awhile, and you had to tell that bein' a Wonderbolt was all that she can be?! What the hay would you even say somethin' like that to her in the state she's in?!"
Which won't happen, I know. But I still wish she'd rank her about it somehow, now that she knows that Dash wasn't lying to her about it.
On another note, all I can say is "wow". And dang it, Dash! You really know how to cut ties, don't you?!
Please don't make us wait too long for Chapter 6, okay? I'm already dying of suspense and anticipation here!
Wow, sex or not this is soooooo good!!!!! and about time she yell at them.
please next chapter!!!!
Wow. That was the general gist of what I told Amy once when she tried to stop me from breaking myself, only less about the not caring and more caring too much. I cared for her and the others so much, I was doing that hard training so I could protect them. But I was only hurting myself, and worrying the others. Dash, I feel your pain.
*sigh*........I'm done.
4623695
Who says she has to choose?
Her friends worded things badly. They know that as a Wonderbolt, she might get hurt. For the entertainment of others, at that, not for something "worthwhile."
Pretty senseless.
But in the words of a great philosopher, there is a fine line between senseless, and stupid.
Dash crosses that line on a semi-regular basis, and this time did so spectacularly.
That's what gets them the most. If she'd stick to hurting herself without stupidity, I'm sure they'd appreciate it.
It was great at first, and it's still nice to read, but you are dragging this out way too freaking long. Everything was pretty much spot on at first, from characterization to the quality of the writing, but for some reason things just seem to have gone down hill starting with Applejack's scene. It's just, why did all the characters suddenly lose common sense? What purpose did completely twisting Applejack's characterization serve? Oh, I know the excuse is that she was angry, but that doesn't freaking cut it here. She would have known not to say something like that at such a sensitive time. More than that, she wouldn't have said it at all because that's not something Applejack does. I mean, a misunderstanding is one thing, but in this case she literally said she and all the others would just stop caring about her.
What's worse is that all of this nonsense started because of the absolutely ridiculous misunderstanding where Rainbow thinks they don't want her to follow her dreams because she can't understand the difference between getting hurt due to stupidity, and the actual dangerous part of stunt flying. Rainbow's not a freaking idiot. I'm getting sick of most of the stuff after Applejack's part because it seems like most of it is only possible because of a large number of contrivances. I mean, Rainbow's done a lot of stuff while getting prepared to join the Wonderbolts. Remember the academy episode? The entire point of that episode was not to push yourself to the point of endangering yourself and others, and it's a lesson Rainbow Dash easily understood. The idea that suddenly she's completely forgotten all of that, combined with the idea that the freaking Wonderbolts books would have an idea that ridiculous to begin with is pretty much just destroying my SoD.
I'm sorry, but if this pointlessly drawn out drama doesn't end by (at most) two chapters or so, I'm just going to have to drop it. It was a great idea, the writing is excellent (seriously, you're awesome at describing the scenery and showing instead of telling), but the part it's at right now just feels so contrived that it's actually making me more annoyed than anything else. I'm sorry for the rant, but I just don't want to see something bring down an otherwise great story.
4623816
I'm sorry, but that's just ridiculous. Honestly, Rarity had an awesome point in that Rainbow would be amazing as a Wonderbolt. If anything, it should be Rarity snapping at Applejack for saying such ridiculously OOC stuff to Rainbow. Then again, considering all of this is due to Rainbow not realizing that the danger of being a Wonderbolt is not because they act stupid while flying, there's pretty much no right answer. The right answer would be it wouldn't have come up in the first place considering, you know, Rainbow's not a moron.
4624220 Okay, I'm sorry, but how, exactly, is that ridiculous? Rarity (and, if memory serves, Pinkie) was the one who said that to Dash about the only thing (career-wise) for her was being a Wonderbolt. Which was ludicrous on top of everything else. Rainbow can be what she chooses to be, not what anypony else says that she has to be, and has no choice in the matter. That's the point that I was trying to make, and why I'd like to see AJ take a certain prissy fashionista to task for her ill-judgment.
(And it doesn't help that I don't really like Rarity, anyway. Not to say I hate her, but I just generally don't like her.)
And AJ was upset. People (or in this case, Ponies) tend to say incredibly dumb stuff when they're as obviously upset as Applejack was in Chapter 4.
(What? Like you haven't ever? I know that I have, and regretted it intensely later, like AJ did in this chapter, and apologized for it.)
And also, she was upset because she and Flutters are obviously a thing now, and she was just being protective (likely overly so, admittedly) of Fluttershy.
This is true, on both counts.
They say hurtful stuff and then let it fester. Dash had no time between guilt trips, and reached a boiling point. It also is ludicrous to yell a bunch of stuff, and then try to take it back as the element of honesty...
I can't wait until the wrestling but damn this is good.
4624333
This is where the problem is. That was the entire point behind everything Rarity said to Rainbow. She wasn't saying that Rainbow had no choice in the matter, but that she should do what she thinks she would love the most, which is being a Wonderbolt. Remember, that part where Rainbow was thinking of being a weather pony and nothing else was just Rainbow basically deluding herself in order to protect her friends, and Rarity saw exactly what she was doing and stopped her before she just dropped all of her dreams. Also, remember that Rarity didn't say being a Wonderbolt is the only thing she'd be good at. Heck, even she agreed that Rainbow would be (and already is) an awesome weather pony. The problem is that, since she doesn't actually get much enjoyment out of that, then what's the point.
Considering what I said above, I honestly find this rather ironic considering that it was actually AJ, and not Rarity, who was trying to say that Rainbow had no say in the matter. While Rarity was willing to help Rainbow achieve her dream (as long as she learned to not endanger herself so much), AJ literally said that she would abandon her if she kept on going, and that she would go out of her way to force everyone else to abandon her as well, going so far to say that she didn't even care for her anymore (good lord I hated her characterization here. It was just... ). So yeah, it actually seems like the only one trying to say what she can and can't do is AJ instead of Rarity.
Yes, that is true. The problem is that stuff like that tends to be pretty much immediately after the fact, and this is after AJ has had time to talk to the others. Honestly with the way she was acting I'd be surprised if Rainbow would even want to be her friend again. Saying she was angry was one thing, but actually lying to Rainbow and telling her that no one else would care about her, and that she'd try to force them to abandon her? And if it was over a believable issue, I might still accept it. The problem, again, is that this misunderstanding shouldn't even be happening. Rainbow, again, isn't stupid. She knows the difference between a job being dangerous, and going past that point due to being idiotically reckless. With everything she's done both in the show and from following the Wonderbolts, this should be obvious. The fact that this misunderstanding is happening at all makes this entire part with Applejack hard to accept, because it means all of this is just contrived.
Well that was very cathartic to read.
This is kind of ridiculous imo. I think everything has been just drug out farther than it should have, if this doesn't wrap up, or hit some turning point in the story, I'm going to be very disappointed in what started out as a very very good story, but has gone quickly downhill.
4624180 You can't have both, it doesn't work that even in Equestria. The moment Rainbow Dash became the bearer of Loyalty her chance to be a Wonderbolt was erased. It's not even childish to think that she can have both, there is no way at all that will work. Indeed there is no way it can work, dreams die as we learn to live our lives as adults, that's just the way of life.
Im still waiting for the clop….
4624832 Not everything is about sex...
I`m starting to think we just want to constantly fuck each other. It gets degrading.
4624556
No joke! I ended up reading it twice back to back. The scene and emotions were so well played out and fulfilling... awesome stuff.
4625098 AKA The same regurgitated cliche bullshit I see in a lot of these stories?
That shouldn't happen at all.
Poor Dash. She really needs a hug. I just want her to feel better, she's so good at tearing herself down. I want this to have been the absolute bottom, but we didn't see Twilight or Pinkie this chapter, so I fear there might be further down to go.
...The make-up sex is going to be glorious.
4624202
Nothing you've said is incorrect, and I agree with all of it.
Well, except maybe this:
That's only what Rainbow Dash interpreted Applejack as saying. What Applejack really said was that caring about Rainbow Dash while knowing Dash will get herself hurt again, and knowing that there was nothing she could do to prevent it, Applejack would rather not care about her at all instead, because caring just hurt too much.
Is that something Applejack would never feel? Maybe. Is that something she would never say? Maybe.
And I'm not sure about this, either:
Lightning Dust's problem, the problem that almost made Rainbow Dash quit altogether, was that Lightning Dust's reckless behavior put others in danger. Dash never made any mention of being upset that Lightning Dust was putting herself in danger, and Dash has recklessly put her own self in danger many times throughout the show. But no one has ever called her out for it, because she's miraculously escaped any and all injuries every single time.
Because, you know, it's a cartoon.
Besides that, you nailed it.
That's funny, because that's exactly the number of chapters left in this fic.
Fascinating as always. I wonder if they'll recruit Twilight to gather information on Wonderbolt safety procedures. Maybe snap at Applejack a bit for her behavior the night previous. I do still have a bit of hope for having an actual Wonderbolt coming in and tell Rainbow how stupid she's being.
Anyways, a great chapter. I started off sort of annoyed at Applejack's sudden 180 on grounds of it ending the conflict last chapter prematurely, but when you kept it going on Rainbow Dash's side it completely shoved those thoughts away.
Man! I am REALLY enjoying this story, and we haven't even gotten to the clop, yet. Just goes to show that this thing is well written, considering I started reading for the mature tag, and now I'm reading for the fantastic story. I also find it interesting how well you seem to be tying in the hints at what is to come – in the form of the sex and mature tags – with a very deep and thoughtful storyline.
I find myself checking more than once a day to see if this piece has updated, and I can honestly say I very much look forward to the next chapter.
I, at times, find myself questioning how dramatic Rainbow Dash is being, but drugs do weird things to the mind, assuming she's on painkillers.
Over all, well done.
I'm sorry, but I applaud Rainbow for this. I have my reasons and I can fill pages but currently I'm on my tablet and it's hard to type but damn it, Rainbow did a good thing here. They haven't given her a chance to talk and then guilting her, making her feel like she's the bad mare and they're the martyrs, no. That shit don't play right with me.
Yes, while some things may seem OOC in this story, it's because, well it's a story. It's only fpr entertainment and damn this entertains me so.
To be honest, I don't even think we need clop. I kinda wanna see Rainbow ditch everyone and just be happy someplace else.
I'm a pretty bitter person.
Well now since it has become an anti-recklessness thing, I'll weigh in on that by saying the rest of the girls have become a bunch of nags, and hypocritical ones at that.
Dash's recklessness is one of the core bits of her character, like Pinkie's annoying laughter, AJ's told you so, Twilight's insanity, and Fluttershy's shyness. It is what allows her to be the first to charge in first against monsters, and has been responsible for saving all of her friends at least once. Yet when it becomes an inconvenience, they want to get rid of it and turn her into Fluttershy.
And once again, they really do offer no alternative way to become a wonderbolt. There is no other flight academy or stunt school, and if their was, she still has to leave her friends to go attend it, making whether her friends sign off on it or not a moot point, she wouldn't see them again anyway. Hell, there could even be arguments that the reason she hasn't gone to such places is that she wants to stay with her friends on Ponyville, or HAS to because she's an Element.
But the reason that this thing is getting my down-vote is you did the obvious plot hole of Dash listening to a single source when she has had years of teaching all the way from when she was a child and experience, but you focus on a book.
The drama is delicious I actually forgot this was going to have clop
I almost- no not almost, I just do- like that this hasn't turned into a real clop fic yet. I like the angst, and I think it would be good for all of them, especially Rainbow, to let go of their friendship... as terrible as that sounds.
Really good job on the emotions ! I could feel the feels feeling me
This is an awesome story. I love it when the little ponies get emotional and spend a long time just brimming with tears before breaking down. I know people have been making jokes about the sex tag and a general lack of sex scenes, but this reads like emotional pornography to me and I love it.
This fic has done a nice job of totally alienating all of Rainbow Dash's friends, well nearly all. Twilight is the only pony who seemed honestly rebuked the first time she realised how badly they had all been getting on Rainbow Dash's case while she was sick and injured. I am still holding out a hope for some Twidash in this fic, and the sexual tension around Rainbow Dash is awesome. Even Pinkie Pie snuggles were good and I usually don't like Pinkie Pie in a romantic setting, because she is so difficult to write and either ends up being too looney or not looney enough. But here she was spot on.
I'm hoping for more of this and hopefully her friends will all pull their heads out of that place where the sun doesn't shine and get back to supporting Rainbow Dash. Great fic.
Hey, HoofBititngActionOverload, does this story have an editor?
If so, who?
Playing with the friendship is rough. I can't wait to see how this turns out.
This. AJ nailed it perfectly. I could not have said it better myself.
That said, I hope they all manage to fix this potential friendship meltdown before someone says or does something they really can't take back or apologize for.
4698582 Okay, let's get one teeny-tiny l'il thing straight here, shall we?
I was making a point by using an example; I never said that any of that would happen, I said it might. But, let's face it; weirder things have happened in life.
My point was that everyone (or everypony, in this case) Gets. Hurt. at one time or another in their life. Doesn't matter how, it just happens sometimes. Sometimes it's bad, sometimes it's not. Hell, I fell off a swing in grade school once and busted my head open to the point that I was a very bloody mess, which scared my classmates and my teacher about to death and my parents had to come get me and take me to to the doctor and have stitches (one of only two times in my life, thank goodness). I was out of school for several days afterwards, but it taught me not to swing so high, or in such a crazy manner. Never forgot that, never will.
(Although at 57 years of age, I'm not real likely to get back in a swing like that again, anyway.)
Still, my point stands. If you live, you get hurt eventually, and sometimes by the craziest, least expected things.
That's the point that I was trying to make here. Nothing more, nothing less.
(And above and beyond that, while I do have an opinion on all this, I am not ignorant of what's going on in the story, thank you very much; I am quite aware of the other girls' concerns about Rainbow's actions and health; and I deeply resent your comment on that to the contrary!)
I hate waiting for this to update, but I shall preserver for the end.
So far...
Fluttershy was so scared that it got her to break through her shell and tell Rainbow Dash how she felt. Fluttershy's upset is enough that Applejack became upset, and then lacked the tact to be able to put things to Rainbow Dash in anything other than absolutist terms. Twilight tried to talk about it analytically, but was interrupted, and couldn't figure out a good way to tell Dash. And Dash, who is explicitly noted to be on some pretty strong painkillers which often comes with a side-effect of not thinking clearly, has locked in on "seeing you crash hurts us" to mean "you are not allowed to crash under any circumstances," which means giving up her only life-long ambition. And that's exactly what Applejack's overly-broad ultimatum reinforced in her.
So, the straightforward resolution would seem to be Twilight coming in to discuss Wonderbolt flight safety procedures with her and Pinkie providing moral support. Since Twilight has wings now and Rainbow Dash does respect her book-learning, and Rainbow Dash also respects Fleetfoot's book, if Twilight comes in demonstrating that she's read the book and understands the contents, Dash might still listen to her. "See, Dash? Yes, she did the triple-backflip-set-herself-on-fire trick in practice... using cloud-rings instead of metal ones so she wouldn't hit anything hard, at fifteen thousand feet up so she'd have time to recover if she spun out, and with a spotter flying underneath to catch her if she fell anyway." And, given the clop warning, Twilight might prove that she's not disappointed-numb in more physical ways, to get Dash to listen to her.
I don't see a way that Rainbow Dash ever lets Fluttershy or Applejack watch her practice again, though, given their reactions so far.
4627298
I'm honestly not sure whether to respond to this considering how long it's been, but at the same time I want to respond since I never got any notification that you had responded. So, if you don't want to have me drag this up again, feel free to ignore this post or simply delete it.
Anyway, as for my reply:
Er, no. That's exactly what Applejack said. Sure, she had reasons for saying it (stupid and utterly nonsensical as they may be), but in the end she said she would stop caring, and get as many of the others to stop caring as well. That said, this doesn't even matter in the end, since all of the context in this situation makes no sense, which I'll get to in a little bit.
A lot of stories like this one have this same problem. If you're making a story that takes away a lot of the cartoon elements, then you can't have the cartoon elements still happening. For example, Twilight survived a bunch of things including an anvil dropping on her head, got a full body cast, and was perfectly fine a few seconds later with no one questioning her apparently god-like healing abilities. Why? Because it's a cartoon. If a story (like this) tries to be more realistic, then obviously that scene never would have happened, because there's no way to justify it outside of cartoon logic. Trying to justify it just leads to faulty logic and OOC characters.
In this case, consider what I said in my comment:
Want to know what I love especially? The fact that the reason you give as to why she is never called out on her injuries (due to cartoon logic) actually contradicts the way Rainbow Dash trains in canon. Again, she's not stupid. She practices pretty much non-stop, and knows that while there can be dangers in joining the Wonderbolts, it doesn't mean she has to be reckless. Honestly, the arguments they made in this story don't make any sense considering Rainbow Dash doesn't just pull off stunts without having practiced first.
I guess my main problem with the drama in the last part of this story is that it shouldn't be happening for multiple reasons. It feels like a bunch of excuses and other convenient things have had to be forced in to let the drama happen, which instead of creating any kind of sadness for the characters just makes the reader angry for seeing characters be OOC so drama can happen.
4916493
Yes, but you and I seem to disagree on exactly what is being contrived.
Rainbow Dash is reckless. That is a clearly defined aspect of her character and it has been since the beginning. I concede the point that she is shown practicing almost constantly, but there is nothing in the show that suggests she would never try a stunt she hasn't practiced much before, and there's a whole lot of in-show occasions that suggest she would.
I'm not sure what you're suggesting I do. None of those cartoon elements are present in this story. But this story still has to use some of those cartoony situations as a jumping off point. There is no way around that,
Because, you know, it's fanfiction. Of a cartoon.
I can't rewrite canon and have Rainbow Dash get hurt in all those situations when she realistically should have. I can't base this story on a separate canon in which she did get hurt in all those situations. I can't even really find a particularly reasonable explanation for why she didn't get hurt in all those situations. But that shouldn't mean I'm not allowed to write a realistic story in which, after events of canon, or during, or whatever, she does get hurt in one of those sorts of situations, and then what happens as a result of that.
I'm writing a story about Rainbow Dash making a reckless decision that gets herself hurt. I can make that jive with the characters (at least I think I have), but I can never make that jive with the physical reality of the cartoon. It's an inevitable inconsistency, and the only thing I can do is lampshade it. I can't get rid of it.
Which is why I've made no attempt to justify any such scene.
No, she doesn't. But she is clearly practicing many of her stunts in an extremely reckless manner, or else she wouldn't be crashing through windows in so many scenes.
In your interpretation of Rainbow Dash's character, you seem to have ignored each and every time she's crashed on screen.
Oh god, I should have checked when this last updated before reading. This is gonna be a painful wait.
Y'know what happens when I read five chapters of heartbreak when it comes to my favorite pony, and then come to the realization that it won't ever be resolved? I get really buckin' pissed.
I'm really buckin' pissed.
Faved and liked. Please update soon.