• Published 27th Mar 2012
  • 4,309 Views, 242 Comments

Free to a Good Home - Marshylawl



How can six bundles of joy change your life forever?

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A Day for Fluttershy

Today is a day for Fluttershy. You wake up, slowly, to see sleeping Applejack taking up a lot of the bed; sprawled about, breathing heavily. It’s no wonder why she is so tired, due to the previous night’s festivities. You slowly tiptoe outside of your room, hoping not to disturb the sleeping filly. You quickly realize that nopony in your disturbingly quiet house is awake. You slowly open Rainbow’s door, to see her as well sprawled out across decorative bed sheets displaying various symbols and logos of the genre of racing.

Over the past weeks, you have given your little fillies access to the television; yet only under strict supervision. As much as you want your daughters to have a widened access of channels, there are some things in this world that are not meant for filly eyes. But all Twilight has enjoyed viewing was Myth Busters, and you are completely fine with that. As for Rainbow Dash here, all she watches is NASCAR and the usual drag-racing competition. She has taken a serious interest in the sport, and you enjoy making her happy; the reason she has various knick-knacks of the racing variety around her room.

You slowly close Rainbow’s door, hoping not to distress her restful sleep. Slowly stumbling down the hallway, you mesmerize the key points of the upcoming events of today. Fluttershy is, well, shy. You will DEFINITELY need to stay calm and quiet around her. Also, she enjoys gardens, animals, etc.

You have been planning her day overnight, spending hours plotting every last detail; you hope that this day will be remembered as the best day in Fluttershy’s life. You make your way down to Fluttershy’s room, attempting to not wake up anypony else. You slowly open her door, hoping to avoid any creaks; a common dilemma with the doors in your house.

You gaze upon the wonders of her cozy looking chamber, various potted plants fill empty spaces; a wonderful jungle theme plays out perfectly. You always wondered why Fluttershy spent so many hours in her bedroom, and this is why.

The room’s amazing hue of greens and blues contrast nicely with each other, which in return makes the room itself feel as if you are in a jungle. You look down towards Fluttershy’s bed, to see that she is in fact not there. You start to feel a wave of concern wash over you; part of you wanting to yell out her name to find her, the other part telling you to keep quiet as your other fillies are still fast asleep.

You quickly pace around the room; unbeknownst to the location of your dear little Fluttershy. Looking out the window, you take notice of the garden that you and Fluttershy recently planted; tulips and sunflowers cover it. You can see Fluttershy carefully planting some more chrysanthemums into the mix of it, so you calmly go out there to talk to her.

“Hello, Fluttershy! Ready for your day?”

You could notice Fluttershy shrink back just a little bit, but your voice reassures her. “Oh, yes. I was just finishing up planting some new flowers you got for me.” She smiles, her eyes glistening at you.

“Do you need some help with it?” You are doing the best you can to keep more of a quiet voice around her, trying not to scare the shy little filly. You have made this mistake before, where you were frustrated with Rainbow Dash and Applejack for breaking one of your mother’s vases. Apparently Rainbow Dash had stolen Applejack’s hat, thus beginning a wild goose chase around the house.

It took you fifteen hours to get Fluttershy out of her room that day.

And now, as you begin to plant some lilies and daisies into the soft, cold dirt, Fluttershy makes it seem as if that day never happened.

This is probably the most peaceful you have ever been in your entire life. Barely any clouds cover up the blue sky. Nearby mayday trees blossom and the lush grass is a forest green. Fluttershy averts you attention from the scenery to help her.

“Do you have any more daisies? I was thinking about putting some more over here”, Fluttershy then pointed one of her little yellow hooves out towards a patch of fresh dirt. “I-I mean... if you d-don’t mind, that is…”

Fluttershy quickly hid her face behind her mane, her ears dropped to her temples.

This is what you did not want to happen.

You quickly rushed beside her, and hugged her; making any attempt at reassuring the filly.

She turns to look at you; not making eye contact then turns away once more. Your mind is in a frenzy; you have to do something, yet you have no idea as to what. In a motion of heart instead of head, you picked two or three daisies from your pocket and neatly tucked them onto her right ear.

Fluttershy turned to you and smiled, her eyes brightening up.

"Th-thank you daddy.”

You just smile, and stroke her flowing pink mane softly. A single tear escapes your eye as Fluttershy breaks from the hug; a hug you didn’t want to let go of. She then trots over towards one of the mayday trees, and gestures you to look. Five or six mockingbirds have since perched on some of the branches; waiting for Fluttershy’s next move.

Fluttershy then cleared her throat and closed her eyes. The next sound that escaped her mouth amazed you. The sharp yet calm aspect in her voice enticed the birds. A simple yet complex four-bar hymn left with a jaw that fell to the floor. Fluttershy then humbly turned back to you, while the mockingbirds started whistling her song. Fluttershy blushed, not making eye contact with you.

You are the first one to speak up. “Did you know that mockingbirds only sing if they like the song?”

Fluttershy doesn’t respond at first, her cheeks getting redder by the second. “Th-thank you.” Is all she could spit out; the mockingbirds still repeating the song. A few have stopped, and are now resting upon Fluttershy’s shoulders.

The sun was now beginning the set, illuminating the field with a reddish-orange. Fluttershy was now playing with the birds, softly giggling occasionally. You just stare at her smiling; the sight warmed your heart. You could never imagine, in a million years, what your life would be like if you never had these fillies. If you went on without love, or happiness. You wondered if you would still be alive if you never had these fillies; that’s a thought you never liked, but always crossed your mind.

“Hey Fluttershy?” You ask, bringing up a conversation for the first time in roughly a half an hour.

“Yes, daddy?” Daddy. You had a mini heart attack every time she called you that.

“Can I show you something?”

“Sure! A-anything daddy.” Hnnng.

You slowly walk back towards the house, while Fluttershy trots up behind you. You open the back door to see your other five fillies sitting on their haunches with ear-to-ear grins on their faces. Almost a little creepy, like the Cheshire grin. You brush by them; Fluttershy taking longer, quietly excusing herself through. After she gets past them, you take her up towards her room.

The reason that your other fillies where smiling so creepily was because the previous night, you had told them to plant a “present” in Fluttershy’s room while you and her were outside playing. Why they decided to smile like that though, I will never know. I led Fluttershy to her room, she was smiling as well; the other five fillies followed close behind, Rainbow Dash zipping around the hallways, hovering when she wasn’t crashing into the walls.

“Are you ready for your surprise, Fluttershy?” You said in a soft voice; Fluttershy nodded her head slowly, a small squeal emitted from her. You slowly opened the door to her room, and let her open her eyes.

“Oh my goodness!” Is all Fluttershy managed to say. A small, white-furred rabbit slept peacefully on her bed; looking as comfortable as ever. Fluttershy rushed to the rabbit, and softly picked it up as if it was incredibly fragile. The rabbit awoke, looking around the room confused. “Hello there, my little angel!” Fluttershy spoke in the softest voice she could, hoping not to disturb the baby rabbit. He just looked at her, confused but not scared. “It’s okay, little one. There is no need to be scared.” She said, cradling the rabbit slowly; as if she were a natural at it.

You speak up, “So, Fluttershy! What do you want to name this little guy?” You speak in a soft tone, attempting to keep the rabbit happy.

Fluttershy turned to look at you, a small smile on her face, and said, “Angel.”

The rabbit’s ears perked up when Fluttershy said that, and gave her a nuzzle.

“Ah ain’t know much ‘bout animals, but ah think he likes you.” Applejack said, as Fluttershy blushed once more before turning back to Angel and hugging him tightly. “Alright, you guys, I think it’s time for bed. All of your fillies sigh in unison, except for Fluttershy, who is in her own world with Angel; feeding him small bits of carrots and cradling him.

You usher the rest of your little ponies to their rooms, and kiss them goodnight. Pinkie Pie fell asleep almost instantly, obviously tired from a hard day’s work of whatever in the world Pinkie does. You put Fluttershy to bed last, giving her more time to play with her new companion.

“You’re the best daddy ever.” Fluttershy whispered, cuddling Angel tightly to her. A single tear drops from your eye due to that statement.

One day they will know the truth.

But for now, I can let them enjoy what they can.

“I do my best.” You say, before kissing her on the forehead and walking out of the room.

Comments ( 90 )

Wow long time for this update but did Fluttershy get her cutie mark as was the point of this week?

Oh look, My Little Dashie rip off.

She then trots over towards one of the mayday trees, and gestures me to look.

The next sound that escaped her mouth amazed me. The sharp yet calm aspect in her voice enticed the birds. A simple yet complex four-bar hymn left with a jaw that fell to the floor. Fluttershy then humbly turned back to me, while the mockingbirds started whistling her song. Fluttershy blushed, not making eye contact with you.

Y U BREAK 2ND PERSON!

J/k J/k

Also, did Shy get her cutie mark there? I was kinda expecting it, but I assume she'll get it after caring for Angel. Anyways, this was rather heartwarming and nice. Pinkie Pie next, huh? I can't wait until that party...

Edit: Actually on her cutie mark it makes sense for you to postpone it until she gets to see some butterflies I would think. It would fit anyway.

Is this in first or second person. Just because you say things like "You blah blah blah" but also "I blah blah blah" A bit confusing there.
:unsuresweetie:

I spy, with my huge, red eyes....THE NEXT MY LITTLE DASHIE!!!

598157 Oh look, the world's most oblivious person.

FIXING MISTAKES NOW.

598160 Fixed; the reason it was shifting from First to Second is because I am currently writing a First-Person story about the hardships of an Aztec warrior. :moustache:

HHNNNNNNNNNNGR!!!

598240 Because it was passed down from parents. I forgot to explain that when it happened. Sorry.

Well at least this story got taken off the feature box....phew...one less bland story to read.

598357 Wow. I don't know what more moronic. Your comments or your name.

598434
You'll never be a good writer if you can't take criticism for your work

Good day.

598357 And that kids is how you be an obnoxious troll. Now then if you would, take your hate else where

598456
Simpleminded, it is criticism-something the youth, and the fandom-have trouble comprehending.

598478 Maybe I would accept your criticism if you weren't an asshole about it.

598482 You remind me of this.

598482 In all honesty, the reason I commented is because I have seen other MLD remakes that were far WORSE then the so called "abomination" in front of you and I would like to see this writer continue with what he enjoys. So have a good day and please just be considerate of others as this is a "Love and Tolerate" group.

598455
That's hardly criticism. What, you dislike it? Alright, nothing anyone can do about that. Criticism, or rather good criticism, is where you point out what you don't like, instead of being a complete douchebag and only saying that it sucks, or is bland. How about you, I don't know, offer some advice to him? Criticism is supposed to help the author, and simply saying it sucks or something along those lines doesn't help at all.

598308
A first person Aztec warrior story huh? Is that or is that not related to pony? I'm curious...

598482 And besides, putting me in the wrong over your view point on MLD remakes hardly seems "adult" to me.

Thank you all for supporting my statement. Ignorance rules over a comment section once again.
Good day.

598548 Oh believe me, he is most likely far from adult. And besides, if I enjoy doing what I do, I will keep going. This Ernest is only a dislike in a sea of likes.

598532 That's exactly right, thank you for making that point on how we are SUPPOSED to be helping him improve the story by being kind about it and not being blantant in our remarks.

598532 Unfortunately, no. But I would if I could.

598564 And THAT is what I'm glad to hear. ( politely bows) I'll be taking my leave now.

598160 Also, about the cutie mark: they are not all going to get them on their special day, it would seem repetitive, and make the reader know that it would happen. You will see, you will ALL see. :trollestia:

598563
May I ask you a question, Mr. Ernest? Why, pray tell, are you complaining about people attacking you for expressing your opinion, when you offer nothing to back up your opinion? You must know that, as I assume you have some intelligence, having an opinion matters not when you refuse to back it up. I personally often times completely disregard opinions that don't have any reasoning behind them. You offered nothing to show that your opinion was valid, therefore people decided your comment was worthless and did not accomplish anything. Which, I might add, they were right about. If you actually expect people to seriously consider your half assed opinion with nothing behind it, then I don't know how you've been taught.

Plus, you know, being nice about it is always a good thing. No one likes an asshole.

598602
I see what you did there...

You troll you...

Let this guy write his story. Sure it looked like a MLD rip- off at first, but he went in a different direction. (done I am commenting on my phone I can't quote that douchebag)

But to the author, you are creating one hell of a story here.
:ajsmug::pinkiehappy::raritywink::rainbowkiss::twilightblush:

598620
You won't find "Nice" Criticism if you write professionally, I'm sorry if you think this world is "Fair"

No use replying to this comment, this conversation is now out of my interest.

598654 Thank you. When I uploaded the first chapter I was worried that it would be that way; so I did my best not to follow it.

598357 I do believe your avatar is flashing me the unmistakeable leer of the shitfaced.

Gee, I wonder why.

598679 Or turning against you. You just don't seem to understand this. You gave me criticism. I would normally understand it and learn from it but no, you decided to be a dick about it. Case closed. Run along now.

Was this story even in the feature box? I didn't even know.

598679
It's funny, because you completely ignored the first part of my comment. The hypocrisy here is outstanding. We're a bunch of ignorant fools for saying this is at least decent. Ok then, Mr. Omniscient all knowing story critic, what is wrong with this story? Please, do tell us what you find to be absolutely horrid about it, and enlighten us on how we are all such ignorant fools for asking for a person's actual evidenced opinion, instead of, "Meh, this story sucks. Bye."

This is the point I am trying to make.

Also, since when did writing fanfiction become writing profesionally? Gee, have you ever considered that, I don't know, some people write for their own entertainment, and not because they want to pursue a career in writing? And even then, and I may be wrong about this because I don't write, but don't actual critics mention what they did and did not like about something? Perhaps story critics don't, but I would like to think that they do. Maybe you are an actual writer, or critic, in which case I'll eat my words.

598733
Actually it was, although not for very long. It's what I saw before I noticed it updated... hehe.

598753 I only write because I can't find any stories that peak my interest, so I make my own. It's as simple as that.

598753
When will the youth learn that when a conversation is over, IT'S OVER.

598882
When will the old learn to answer a legitimate question? I'm sorry, but when you are behaving like an idiot, it's hard not to point out that you are an idiot. And you still didn't say shit about my points I made against you. No offense, but you truly are an idiot.

I present an argument that I would like to think is logical and well thought out. His response? Completely ignoring my logical query. Am I really the child here? Seriously, now.

598679
I find your intimate knowledge of how professional criticism is applied sorely lacking. However, since you want to compare fanfiction writing with professional writing, I'll be more than happy to give you my experience with the academic peer review process.

After submitting your article for peer review, you are generally torn apart in almost every case. However, this is done without words of "suck" or "it's crap" or anything of that nature. Generally, you are told what the article is lacking, what you need to change, and (since this is the academic world) what sources you should read more on to shore up the weaknesses in your work. If you cannot understand this I will put it more simple terms: reasons are given and help is offered.

Now, let's compare with pictures what you offered as criticism to what would be professionally offered:

Your comment:
us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/starush/starush0706/starush070600019/1067573-muddy-water-spring-flows-on-dried-cracked-dirt.jpg
(Shallow and ultimately useless and easy to overlook.)

Professional criticism:
static2.travelandleisure.com/images/amexpub/0006/4069/iguazu-falls-waterfall-200905-ss.jpg
(A bit intimidating, and if you are suffering it's wrath somewhat painful, but ultimately something worth looking at and deserving of respect.)

Don't sit there and bring "professional criticism" in here when you are incapable of the cognitive processes to carry it out please. It is simply painful to look at.

598882 Youth? You are a joke.

Hold up, I thought Applejack just got her hat yesterday(last chapter). So when did the whole, "Apparently Rainbow Dash had stolen Applejack’s hat, thus beginning a wild goose chase around the house. " part come from?:rainbowhuh: Other then that, loving this story so far:heart:. Keep it up.:yay:

Perhaps if I block the ignorant children, I'll stop getting unnecessary messages.

I feel a bit small after seeing all that above, but I'd like to give a compliment.

I enjoy this story, no matter what Mr. Ernest said about it. I don't see a MLD rip-off here. I did at first, I'll admit, but you've gone off that path fairly quickly. I love the emotion of it all and to be frank you've helped me realize a bit how emotion should work in a story. But I still have so many questions related to the Mane 6. Like, 'What in the Nine Hells brought them to Earth?' and 'Will they go back?' Which I'm sure they will but I still want to know!

Anyway, thank you for the good story and keep up the good work!

599192 I have already planned this story out, and you will find out. Those questions will be answered. :pinkiehappy:

599200 I shan't press you, but I'll die from lack of information soon if I don't learn!

Awesome story! Can't wait to see what happens next.
Keep up the swag.:moustache:

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