• Published 14th Mar 2014
  • 785 Views, 48 Comments

Pinkie Steals a Bugatti - redoran77

1200 HorsePower at 255 mph all controlled by Pinkie. What could possibly go wrong?

  • ...


"You don't know anything else?", Pinkie asked venomously. She shoved the revolver harder into the side of his head, keeping on the guise of a serial killer.

"No! I swear! I meet him in Manehatten about once a month with a new car!", he yanked his head away from the gun as he said this.

Pinkie grabbed his hair and pulled his head back to the muzzle of the gun, pulling the hammer back for more effect.

"If you're lying, I will kill you, but not with a headshot from this gun. It will be much, much slower than that.", Pinkie's stare was ice cold. "Understand?"

The boy looked at her fearfully and nodded his head. Pinkie smiled as she let go of him and pranced happily off to meet Chop Shop, her hair beginning to look a little more bouncy and inflated.

Pinkie found Chop Shop still in the gun room, now assembling an AR from parts.

"Figured I might as well prepare some guns, looks like you're going to need them", he said looking up at her.

"You've heard what the kid's selling?"

"Yeah, kinda hard not to when you're filling the shop with his screams of terror"

Sarcastic bastard.

"It was just a show, I had to make certain he wasn't lying," Pinkie picked up the Glock he had cleaned earlier, searching for a holster. "Besides, this way I don't have to cut him in on anything", she found a lower leg holster and put the compact .45 in it and attached it to her calf. Chop Shop finished assembling the AR and put a magazine in it. He engaged the action and took aim down the holoscope, pointing it toward a target down a small hallway off the gun room. He keyed a button with his left hand on the vertical grip and a red dot appeared on the bullseye of the target.

"Well, at any rate, I've got a few weapons prepared already. Anything in particular you think you'll need?"

"I have a few ideas", Pinkie said smiling broadly, "but I think that I can handle the weapons. I need you to give the Bugatti some extra oomph." Chop Shop looked at her critically.

"That's one of the fastest cars on the road...what could I possibly do to give it 'extra oomph'"

"By adding Nitrous silly! Also you could find out why the hell it's limited at a mere 255 miles an hour. It feels like it can go plenty faster", Chop Shop gave her an annoyed look.

"You go faster, the tires will explode. Simple as that."

"Then put better tires on it!"

Chop Shop looked at the ridiculous girl in front of her, her notions always so innocent and futile. "There isn't a single tire on this planet that can perform better than those! They're designed specially for the car so that the pressure inside them won't blow them up at even lower speeds than 255! It's not possible to-", he stopped suddenly and his face donned the look of an enlightened saint.

"Airless!", he yelled.

"What?", Pinkie gave him a confused look.

"Never mind! You get what weapons you need I'm going to work on the car!", he said excitedly as he ran out of the room. Pinkie watched him run like a kid going to play with his new toy.

Now, I wonder if Chop Shop has a Mk 19

Pinkie was only half kidding as she searched for the fully automatic grenade launcher and wasn't surprised when she didn't find one. Instead, she found plenty of M4A1s and enough AR platform parts to build pretty much whatever she wanted. There were 2 .50 caliber Barrett M82A1s, perfect for any ultra long range sniping. There were some uzis -bleck- and an AK-47 -Celestia No!- and...

Holy Shit! It's a Mosin!

Pinkie burst out laughing and made a mental note to ask Chop Shop where he got it. She grabbed a gun bag and began to load in what she thought she would need, writing it on a list for later reference.

1 M4A1 silenced with a holosight scope

1 custom AR-15, 14.5" barrel, ACOG scope, 30 round mag

5 M67 fragmentation grenades

1 .50 cal Barrett sniper rifle with a Leupold scope

2 .50 cal Desert Eagles

1 .44 cal Magnum 6 shot revolver

1 .50 cal Magnum 5 shot revolver

2 Glock 30 compact .45s

and 2 subcompact Springfield XD-S 9mm handguns

She fitted the other Glock to her other leg and strapped two grenades to her left hip. One Deagle took her right hip and the other in the back of her pants. According to the kid, there might be some trouble along the way, so Pinkie packed heavily. There were plenty more guns she could take, but she needed to conserve what little space she had for ammo. She hooked a strap to the custom AR and put it over a shoulder, putting the other AR in the bag. She grabbed a Glock silencer and silencers for both 9mm handguns. She grabbed 1 box of 9mm, 6 of .45, 1 of .44 magnum, 3 .50, 1 .50 magnum, and 10 .223. She grabbed a few magazines for each gun and threw them in the top of the bag. By the time she was done, the bag was bulging and almost too heavy to carry. On her way out of the room, she noticed an ammo can set separate from the rest. It read:

cal. .50 MK 211 MOD 0

She smiled to herself as she picked them up and put the bag on her shoulder.

Of course! Can't forget the Raufoss rounds!

She smacked a picture of a cube made of various types of guns and artillery hanging over the doorway on her way out.

"Glory be to the Murder Cube!"

She found Chop Shop working on the car when she came out, the hydraulic lift partially risen to give him some room to remove the wheels.

"How's it coming?", she asked happily as she skipped to the front of the car, popping the trunk as she did so.

"I have an idea for these tires, but it might take me a while to get the new ones fitted to the rims. As for the Nitrous, that will take some doing,", he pulled off the rear right wheel and rolled it aside. Pinkie looked dismally at the trunk, knowing the M82 wouldn't fit in it period. "This car is made to waste absolutely no space, there is very little room to add the tanks for it. I can possibly add them around the engine compartment or on top of it, but I'll have to see how it works out.", he finished saying this as he rolled the front right wheel away. Meanwhile, Pinkie was stashing guns randomly throughout the car, the 9mms in the glovebox, the M4A1 between the driver's seat and the center console..."The gas tank will be tricky too. You'll definitely need it if you plan on driving this for any amount of time, but it's going to be a bitch to work out.", he laid the front left wheel against some railing beside the car. Pinkie was trying to jam the .50 magnum above the shielding beneath the steering wheel. "I'll get it worked out though, although I'll need today and maybe tomorrow", Pinkie was taking the barrel off the M82, when he said this, she stopped.

"I'm certain the police will be out by then, is this a safe place for it?"

"Maybe, but I'm certain they'll be around here eventually, so we need to be prepared", he looked over at her. "a nice high speed chase could easily take their minds off of checking the shop out, at least long enough for me to hide the car", Pinkie smiled at him.

"I suppose I'll need to go ready the chase car then?"

"Already done, you might want to put some weapons in it though, and stock some ammo for the 50", Pinkie smiled as she walked off to retrieve more weapons and ammo for the chase car. "Also, take the kid with you. If you're going to make use of that 50 you might need a driver", Pinkie was ok with this, she knew she could control the kid. She wasn't even certain she'd need him though, because the 'chase car', which was a heavily modified Dodge Challenger, had a steering lock on it. Get it on a nice, straight road, lock the steering, pull out the 50, scare the hell out of the cops and make them back the hell off.

Raufoss rounds might perform nicely in that situation. Let's see if he has another can.

She eagerly headed back to the gun room.


Pinkie sat facing the boy as he ate, his left arm zip tied to a bolted down chair and his right one free. She was tossing her knife up and catching it, holding a .44 magnum in the other hand. The boy looked up at her sheepishly as he ate, as if he wanted to say something but was far too scared to do so.

Finally, the kid worked up enough courage to confront the sociopath in front of him.

"My name is Klepto by the way", he said as nonchalantly as possible. "Klepto Thomas", Pinkie could tell he was trying to reach out, to humanize himself to appear to not be a threat, so she decided to do the same. If she was going to be working with this kid to some extent she might as well extend her civil side to him.

Besides, I can bash his face in any time he gets out of hand.

"I'm Pinkie Pie! Nice to meet you Klepto!", she laid her knife down and extended her hand to shake his. Klepto was a little confused by her sudden hospitality, but wrote it off as insanity. He continued to eat in silence for a bit before he spoke again.

"So how long have you been stealing cars?", he kept the conversation relatively light, continuing a tactic of befriending his captor.

"Oooh, that's a tough one", Pinkie stuck out her tongue and looked thoughtfully to the ceiling, tapping her knife against her chin. "At least six years. That was around the time I met Chop Shop, and he offered me money for a heist."

"What was the car?"

"Corvette Z06", Pinkie smiled as she reminisced. "You?"

"Been stealing since I was thirteen, a little over three years. I had some family who knew my fence, he offered me a test to see if I had it in me", Klepto answered.

"What was the test?", Pinkie asked with genuine interest.

"Rolls Royce Ghost." Klepto replied. Pinkie was familiar with Rolls Royce and vaguely familiar of their Ghost line. She knew enough about cars to get by, but as with the Veyron, hadn't memorized the names and looks of all the super cars.

"Sounds impressive", Pinkie replied as she resumed tossing her knife.

"Yeah, it was quite the job", Klepto went back to his meal. Pinkie watched him for a moment more, then decided to check on Chop Shop.

"I'll be back in a minute. Don't do anything silly", with that Pinkie got up and headed into the main room.

It was night, and the moon had risen enough to be seen in the garage door windows. The wheels were back on the Veyron with new, airless tires. Currently, Chop Shop was working in the engine compartment, stuffing cans of Nitrous wherever they would fit. He didn't notice her walk in so she observed for a while as he worked.

He turned around to retrieve some hosing assemblies for the cans he had installed and noticed Pinkie leaning against a wall watching him.

"I managed to get six cans in there. You can run them one at a time or all at once, just be careful when you engage it, who knows how fast the thing will go", he said with a smirk.

"So it's done?", Pinkie asked eagerly.

"No, I've got all the wiring and hose work to do. They'll be harder than normal as well because I can't make any cuts or changes to bodywork. After that I still have to remove the limiter and add some straps for hanging out the window as I'm certain you'll want to do with how much heat you packed", his look was annoyed, as if it was trying to show how much of a pain in the ass this was. Pinkie pecked him on the cheek before heading back to Klepto.

"Thanks Choppy, I really owe you one this time", Chop just grunted and went back to his work.

Right as Pinkie sat down in front of Klepto, an alarm went off and lights began to flash.

They had an early warning system for police, and apparently it had been tripped. Pinkie quickly grabbed her knife and cut Klepto loose. She grabbed him by the arm and yanked him along wit her to the garage where the Challenger was sitting.

"Let's go for a ride Klepto"

Author's Note:

The Glorious Murder Cube/ /k/ube: http://kweapons.wikia.com/wiki/Glorious_Murder_Cube

Comments ( 24 )


Barrett M82A1

perfect for any ultra long range sniping

hahaha nope.

Nice chapter as always. I'm just wondering why they're preparing for what looks like a goddamn war.


You'll see. :raritywink:

Although the Barrett is an anti-materiel rifle it still is very accurate and would be good for sniping no?

I think you are living through your writing in this story, what with all the fucking awsome cars and guns in it.
Funny thing is, one of my friends has almost all of those guns... and a tank...:pinkiecrazy:

4123059 wow :rainbowlaugh:

Not necessarily although I would enjoy owning most of those guns and I do own some of them.

Next chapter will explain the armed-to-the-teeth x100 mentality :raritywink:

It's a short recoil operated firearm, kinda like a pistol. The barrel moves the with the assembly. By design, it can only be so accurate.

Wikipedia, ahoy!


I actually did go to wikipedia, it said the effective range was 1.1 miles for the M82A1 and 3 miles for the M82A2

The M82A3 was pretty much the same thing as the M82A1 just extra railing and slight weight reductions.

I suppose if Pinkie really needs high accuracy she can always just build an AR sniper right?

I can't wate for the next chapter!


Soon eough, although I have to update A Taste for Pink first because I've put two chapters on this in the past day and none on that. :twilightoops:

I was going to start reading that one too.:twilightblush::twilightsmile:


Cool. Then you'll enjoy an update most likely tonight :raritywink:

It should be noted that that story takes place on the same timeline and setting as this one.

Well at 1.1 mile, you can still hit a car with the thing, which is its primary purpose. The M82 is pretty accurate for what it is but will (almost) always be beaten in that department by gas-operated designs, which in turn are always beaten by state-of-the-art bolt action rifles.

That said, your typical engagement range for a marksman is only between 600 meters and 900 meters. Anything over this is unrealistic if you're not dealing with a super-duper trained SEAL/Spetsnaz/Para/GIGN sniper. What takes the most time over these distances is finding a suitable firing location, and accuracy is mainly up to the shooter, not the gun.

But hey, this is a work of fiction, no need to go full realism!


Thanks for the help!

I wasn't planning on her sniping just people and especially not from that far off


She will use it for anti vehicle type things, and for taking out some people in a bunker at least

At most she'll take out an entire camp from a vantage point about 50m above them and 600m out.

Glory be to the Murder Cube!

4123345 fellow /k/omrade?

I made a group for the murder cube, you should join :raritywink:

4082156 my problem is it is not a koenigsegg agera r that thing can go 290 mph. :rainbowderp:


prove it. It's not in the records.:ajsmug:

Hell the hennesy hasn't even proven that they can go faster yet, Bugatti still holds the trophy.

Holy Shit! It's a Mosin!



It's the most overstocked gun in the world! You can get one with a strap, scope, and 150 bullets for around $150 xd

Moist Nuggets are le best. :raritywink:

4232278 Ugh you just said moist nuggets not Mosin Nagant.

4232293 mhmm.

Go talk to some /k/ommandos

they love their moist nuggets :raritywink::raritywink:


in case I was unclear and in case you are unaware the Mosin Nagant has a nick name of Moist Nugget on /k/ :twilightsmile: Not to say I browse there a ton but I do enough to know the trends :raritywink:

4232310 that has got to be the weirdest nickname for a really famous weapon.


ya, /k/ loves/hates the Mosin Nagant so there are plenty of threads about it.

They refer to the ammo for the mosin as 'nugget chow' :rainbowlaugh: It's really quite hilarious spending any amount of time on /k/

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