• Published 14th Mar 2014
  • 786 Views, 48 Comments

Pinkie Steals a Bugatti - redoran77



1200 HorsePower at 255 mph all controlled by Pinkie. What could possibly go wrong?

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The Heist

The walls pulsated with dance music around Pinkie, her internals vibrated to the intense beats laid down by the massive subwoofers at Vinyl's setup. She felt at home, she was one with the partying around her. Unfortunately she wasn't at the club to enjoy drinks or dance like she normally did.

For the past few days she had scoped out a new person to the party, a man with a gold Rolex and Oakley sunglasses that he wore at all times. He dressed nicely, sporting a casual black business suit and refined black leather shoes. He seemed to be visiting Ponyville from a place quite a ways away, but he had shown up about a week ago, indicating his new found residence in the happy town.

Pinkie had done this before, she knew a guy who ran a shop south of the Crystal Empire who bought 'hot' cars. She had an issue with stealing, a bit of an obsession that had overwhelmed her the first time she was roped into heisting a BMW off a tow yard. She had given that very same car to Twilight for her birthday, with a new VIN, paint, and body kit of course. It could be found sitting outside Twilight's tree in the middle of town most days, boasting it's refinement and power.

Pinkie did this with most of the money she made off the cars actually, hosting parties for her friends with incredible settings or shows with them. The extra money also allowed her to maintain her bouncy, eccentric, and care-free attitude even with a dead end job like hers at Sugarcube Corner. Tonight she was serious. Her normal flamboyance had left her as she focused on the task at hand.

She knew which car was his, a black car with a red undertone on it with a strange brand symbol on the back that appeared to be a backwards E connected to a B. She was certain it was exotic, it stood out among the other cars parked outside, asserting it's presence like a shotgun in a church.

She watched the man as he sat at the bar. She had been counting his drinks and noted how much alcohol he had in him. He was on his twelfth scotch glass. Pinkie figured it was a safe bet to approach him now.

She headed over to the bar where the man was sitting.

Pinkie watched the gold on the man's arm reflect light from the bar as he raised a scotch glass to empty it. She assumed her normal demeanor and put a large, silly smile on her face as she approached the man.

"Hiya!" she said giddily, "I'm Pinkie Pie! Mind if I sit with you?" she asked this in her normal personality. This was the easiest part for her to play and it normally got her what she wanted.

"Fuck off." the man said bluntly as he motioned for another drink. She had dealt with this before, and applied her expertise to the struggling fish on the end of her line. She sat down beside him anyway and ordered a scotch for herself.

"Dinchu ear me?" he said with his words slurring into one another. Pinkie put her hand on his thigh, rubbing up and down gently as she worked the man.

"I know, I know," she said, "but I was watching you from over there," she gestured openly to where she had been sitting, showing off some cleavage as she did, "and you just looked sooo lonely." She batted her eyes at him a little. Drunks were always the easiest to get to comply with what she wanted, for good reason too. The man eyed her for a moment, trying to make his brain assess the full situation. Upon his brain's refusal to process anything he handed to it, he decided to trust his 'gut'.

"Mebe I em a tad lonely" he spoke with a slightly foreign accent, but it was severely dulled by the alcohol. "Whidunchu cum sit" he patted his lap as he said this. Pinkie reeled the fish closer to the shoreline as the hook set deeper and deeper.

"Sure," she said as she sat on his lap, "why don't you tell me about yourself?" she asked. The man smiled. This was something that was the same with all hyperrich people, even drunk, they loved to talk about themselves.

The man went into a drunken montage of how he had graduated school with a business degree and gotten a job as a CEO at some pharmaceutical company that Pinkie thought she vaguely recognized. He talked about how hard he'd worked while he was there, and how recently he'd taken a 'leave of absence' to have some 'time to think'. Pinkie played her normal personality, happy and interested, popping jokes here and there to be more likable. She also played seductively, to ensure her closeness with the man.

After an hour of enduring his tirade, he finally finished, so drunk he could barely see straight. Pinkie smiled at him and leaned down to whisper in his ear.

"How about we head back to your place for some fun?" she asked in a playful manner. The man smiled and pulled out his wallet to pay his tab. Pinkie got up in the process and 'accidentally' knocked over her own, untouched glass onto the mans lap.

"Oh shoot! I'm sorry" she said to him a perfect concerned look on her face. The man just smiled as he laid a few hundreds on the counter and stood up. Drink fell off his lap and ran down his pant legs as he did so, but he didn't seem to mind too much.

"Why don't you go get that cleaned up real quick?" Pinkie asked, he nodded in agreement, saving himself the trouble of forming speech and started to walk off before she stopped him. "Also, it's a cold night out," it was, in fact, eighty-three degrees Fahrenheit outside, "why don't you let me warm up your car for you while you get cleaned up." The man thought for a moment, or at least tried to, and then smiled and pulled his keys out of his pocket and forked them over.

Pinkie pulled the big fish over the embankment and shoved it inside her net, laughing crazily.

Pinkie went to the parking lot and ran over to the car, she wasn't sure how fast it was so she hurried to make sure she could put some distance between her and the bar. The car looked luxurious, so Pinkie was a little nervous that it wouldn't be a very good go-fast vehicle.

She unlocked it and got in the driver's seat, throwing the keys in the other as she shut the door. She pushed the button for the ignition and the engine quite literally roared to life. Pinkie smiled as she listened to it's sixteen cylinders hum happily around her. She put the car in reverse and slammed on the gas pedal, but quickly let off as the car lurched backwards. She shoved it into drive and slammed the gas again, accelerating to nearly sixty miles an hour before she exited the parking lot, drifting a bit as she turned left onto the road. She was stunned by it's power, and then suddenly noticed one of the gauges on the dash was for horsepower.

The top number read 1200.