Breezy Leaf is a young Pegasus colt who is looking for a purpose in his life. In the summer in which he spends in Ponyville, he learns much about love and life, especially when he has to deal with a love triangle with Flitter and Cloudchaser, while being very inexperienced with fillies.
*The romance will develop kinda slow, and isn't very apparent in the first chapter.*
Page generated in 0.071 seconds
Total duration
678 users online
894,730 hits today, 2,167,270 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
The premise intrigues me, read the first few paragraphs and will read it later. Though it may seem a bit early, I will give this a thumbs up from what I've read.
I really wish that people would leave a comment before thumbs downing my story, so I could at least know what you didn't like about the story.
Very nice I'm gonna have to keep an eye on this story , hoping to see a new chapter soon.
4061279
Well...
The set up was established as was the setting, but not enough. It's true the story is told through first person narrative, but it felt bare boned. This is an oc, so it's up to the author to fill in the gaps for the reader. The fact that the ages were clarified at the end could have been told in the story.
Here and there lines like "she liked act young" seem off to read.
Hey! Great use of vocabulary... That was not needed here. The whole story is first person narrative, and for a teen in middle school to use the term... well. Weird- considering the rest of the story is told simply. Not to mention it sounds like a disease, but it actually means to describe a beautiful person.
There's other stuff, but mostly personal taste than actual critique.
When is chapter 2 coming