In Equestria lies a secret society of super elite who find sport in kidnapping, imprisoning and taming unsuspecting ponies into submissive sex slaves.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Okay how is no pony noticing that Flitter is missing from the weather team? I mean even Dash and her sister would notice, and they would definitely be searching for her. Also What of Vynal Scratch. wouldn't she have noticed that her roommate Octavia went missing?
3883465
There's nothing in the show's canon that says Vinyl and Octy are roommates. So they may not be in this story.
3883987 That still leaves Rainbow Dash to worry about where Flitter's gone off to.
Hmmm shit is getting intense and poor guy getting rape while a torturing a mare shame well I hope for the next one to come out
3883996 ok, this one is easy. Yes Flitter is part of the weather team, but only during big events like winter rap up and moving the water to Cloudsdale. Aside from that Rainbow Dash is the sole pony to manage the weather in Ponivile (As shown in Magical Mystery Cure when Rarity takes RD's place and there is no one there to correct her grievous mistakes). So I highly doubt RD, a pony who is constantly napping on the job and who has bigger things to worry about at this point (Like going to see Hinny in the hills, helping the foals with their flag routines or securing her own place in the Equestria Games) would really notice that a pony she hardly has any screen time with is gone. And I noticed that you chose to mention Flitter, but not Coco Crusoe meaning you stopped at one specific part or you don't think that AJ, the hard working farm pony, would care about a pony who helps clear the fields of snow.
That being said I do wish that people would stop trying to break my story based on the characters I decided to use in it, especially when that character is someone we know jack all about. As I have said before there are always easy ways to explain this stuff. For example: Even if I want to say that Vinyl and Octavia are roommates I could go on this little bit of fan cannon and say she was taken at a point where the two were not on speaking term and Vinyl thinks she is being blown off. People who complain about this plot point don't seem to realize how easy it is for people to disappear in our normal society, let alone one like Equestria that has a minimum level of technology. So as much as I like to give answers to "how does everyone not notice X pony is gone" I would appreciate it if people would just go with it unless I directly addressed in my story, cause honestly there are millions of reasons why a real person can go missing that I could probably not come up with in my inexperience as a writer.
3884369 I'm not trying to break the story, think of my digging as trying to find holes and letting you know what I find, then it's up to you whether you vilify what you have, or alter the part if you decide it has some fault you weren't payinjg attention to. Also I wasn't thinking clearly last Night so I made some mistakes, I need to see the Episode again and actually figure out more than just what I got on the surface.
Sorry if I came out as a snobbish ass, I just don't like things that I perceive(doesn't mean know) as glaring plot holes and like to figure out whether they are or not.
so you're basing this Equestrian society on our human society?
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It is ok. I might of come off as a little snippy myself (not intentional, just the way I type). The second paragraph was basically my mild frustration of earlier comments saying that certain characters are practically untouchable because someone would notice.
I simply meant two things of it. 1, that just because someone is missing doesn't mean that there is going to be an equestria wide search for them (at least not immediately) and 2, I could spend time explaining how every single pony got caught in story but that would bog it down with exposition and seeing how one of my worries of chapter 4 was that it had too much exposition and it would be boring I just don't feel taking on those extra bits that can just be assumed. Some ponies like Flitter are there as story fluff. Someone to put a face to and probably will not be fully explored ever.
On the other hand I don't want to spoil up coming chapters I have planned for other characters. I have at least the next 3 character arcs halfway mapped out in my head and to spoil the reveal of one I was planning to do an Octavia 4 part arch in the future.
lastly, no I am not basing the story on human society but using it to justify that even in an age where we can watch people's every movement in real time from our computers people still go missing and are never found.
3885135 alright then, though I do have a query. With there be a point in the future where someone important to Celestia gets wind of this and notifies her before getting caught themselves?
Or is that too much to hope for?
Oh and thanks for the heads up. I' not saying that a character is untouchable, what I am saying is there is a likely hood that someone will miss them and try and start up a local search for them, also Ponies are a lot more social than humans, and will be more likely to notice someone missing from their common routines, like maybe one of Flitter's friends and such. though to avoid explaining things, try and make it so people don't have a reason to Question your logic, possibly Explain a bit on what they did before getting caught and whether or not someone would be searching for them any time soon.
Remember even if the concept of this story is dark, Celestia still build her country on the concepts of piece and harmony, you could try using that if you think it will help any.
3885301
Well again I don't want to spoil things but I will say that not EVERYTHING in this story is going to be "dark for the sake of dark". As I said to another commenter I don't have a clear cut ending to this story and at this point it is just as easy that the bad guys win out in the end as it is that Celestia (or someone else for that matter) kicks down the doors of their little club to save the day.
And yeah, I could explain a little more for some characters and intend to for some such as in the for mentioned Octavia arc starting off before she is captured. In that case it comes down more to patience for the reader. But in the case of Flitter ask yourself this: You are Cloudkicker, your sister has gone missing and you have no clue where she is. What is your first assumptions on her whereabouts, that she was kidnapped, that she left without telling anyone or maybe that her disappearance might involve the incredible dangerous forest that resides right next to the city you happen to live next to.
The first one could be a thought if there were signs of a struggle, but I would hope the society is good at cleaning up their abductions. The second might be out of the question depending on how close she is to friends or family. The last one would be my initial thought though since the creatures in it do have the ability to leave it to cause trouble and who knows what kind of things exist in there since each time they involve it a new beast is introduced.
3885499 I would start with the last one as ask Zecora if she had seen any signs from the forest that my sister went missing, then if that proved to show nothing, then I would begin asking around for other ponies to give me hints as to her whereabouts, if the information isn't forth coming I would go to Ponyvilles premiere magi and ask Twilight Sparkle if she had a spell that could help me track down my missing sister, And figure out what to do from there.
What the society probably would have done is take some of Flitter's personal affects and try and stage them within the Everfree forest to confuse Cloudkicker as to her sister's whereabouts.
but they'd need a professional tracker to set the false evidence otherwise someone as forest savvy as Zecora could easily see through the ruse and let cloud Kicker know that her sister may have been abducted by another person or persons.
3885547
hmmm.... that is a good line of logic there and a good way the society could deal with the questions. Simply dropping Flitter's tattered hair ribbon into a chasm or along a path in the forest would be a very convincing distraction to the pony's fate.
3885571 Yes but Zecora is very well trained in seeing how the forest works, and if she sees none of the signs of a struggle or something to suggest that she was harmed by one of the denizens of the everfree forest, then she would immediately vilify them of the crime and let Flitter know that there is some deception and foul play in the works.
3885596
but indication of foul play does not reveal the perpetrators, just that something is afoot. It might start smaller investigations (since again one missing pony doesn't crank things to red alert) and might keep ponies on their toes, but it will not reveal the society on the whole. Plus if Flitter gets tamed and is allowed to go back home with a convincing excuse it will help to put away some concerns. There will be questions raised of course, but the very fact that she is back home will enough to get rid of most worries about her.
3885661 True it all is determined on how long it takes for them to tame Flitter and how fast the investigation goes. if Twilight manages to uncover the Trainers Society just as they Tame Flitter that would probably cause some problems. honestly the Biggest Issue would be Keeping Twilight from picking up a pattern on their targets and the pony disappearances and reappearances. because once Twilight finds a problem, unless told directly by Celestia or someone she trusts to stop, she will continue investigating until she knows everything about what is going on. Also is one of the princesses part of the Trainers Society? That would give them an immense amount of power to work with not to mention political control.
3885684
Well I am going to take some of this into consideration, but for some plot convenience (or contrivance some might say in this case) it will take Twilight some time to get directly involved. It is a little weak but this is still my first story and I need a little leeway on some things. I do have a sort of explanation in the fact that despite being a princess Twilight is not the "go to" pony for solving all problems.
Thank you for all the comments though and please feel free to make more as interest in this story does push me to continue and to try to do better at my writing ability.
3885737 you're Quite Welcome, and honestly the reason I was saying that Twilight was the go to pony for this situation is because. 1 the population of ponyville still probably thinks of Twilight as the Unicorn librarian, and 2 Ponyville is used to Twilight solving major problems, and having a pony go missing in a small rural town does not go unnoticed. though you can have it take some time for Twilight to get wind of the situation by say having her work on rebuilding part of the old Castle of the pony sisters in the everfree for a few weeks with her friends helping her. only getting back a few day's after Flitter Disappears and Cloudchaser goes searching for her. I mean there are so many reasons for Twilight to be unavailable without her sounding like a stuck up prick or being bogged down with pointless tasks as the nobles of Canterlot are prone to Trying to add to Celestia's schedule.
3885804
Or, you know, important tasks.
Interestingly enough, I was actually going to ask whether passion fruit has any long term effects. Well, now we know.
However, it might go beyond a simple addiction to the fruit itself. Coco's desire to go back to the stallion who took her virginity suggests that it creates a link between the abuse they suffer, and the addictive properties of the fruit—conditioning them into their role as sex slaves. They might ultimately end up with an addiction to both.
You know who woud fit perfectly into this club? Diamond Tiara, once she's old enough.
The masters/mistresses so far shared several key characteristics: a manipulative nature, a lack of conscience, and an overwhelming sense of entitlement. Properly nurtured, Diamond Tiara could become a paragon for the ideals of the society... that is, if nopony else makes her a target first.
3888304
(Please forgive any of the pseudo psychology in the following statement. This is a very broad statement that in real life is not an absolute despite how I make it sound. I do not mean to offed anyone who might be victims of abuse. While I do have a fantasy rape fetish I realize that rape is a terrible thing that should not be done to anyone. In short, I know what I am about to say is probably really dumb so please don't take it at face value)
The fruit stimulates the sex drive of those who consume it. Sex in its self can be very addictive so the fruit makes you want sex while you slowly come to need the fruit as well. As for craving the abuse it comes down to the idea that despite rape not being a pleasant experience your body still thrives for sexual stimulation. The pleasure you feel from the act of sex is still registered as "good" and if you are like Coco (at least the version of her in this story) and only associate that with abuse you start to mentally crave the abuse along with the satisfying feelings of sex. So the desire to be used is stemming from Coco's psychological connection between pain/humiliation and sexual pleasure, not the fruit's effects.
Diamond Tiara would be a great member for sure with her sense of entitlement and thinking that others are beneath her, but I know that foal characters are not allowed in anthro stories and two problems with her being in this story are that I am not sure how this site takes "Aging up" characters so they are the proper age (I have seen other sites ban people for trying to do that with characters) and that this story's timeline starts in the current season and thus Diamond Tiara I would not be able to make her an adult anyways.
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Thank you for your reply! Your explanation is much appreciated. Is the heightened sexual desire permanent after enough doses of the fruit? Or will we have to wait and find out?
As for Diamond Tiara: Haha, that wasn't actually meant as a suggestion to put her in the fic^^ Site rules indeed don't allow anthro foalcon. Aging up isn't a problem, but again, that was meant as a pure hypothetical, not an attempt to get you to change the the timeline of the story. I should've made that clear in my last post; my apologies!
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To clarify on the effects of Passion Fruit, the juice use by the society has no addictive properties as it is a watered down mix that only gives a mild effect compared to the fruit its self. The fruit is such a concentrated dose that it causes sexual desire to to its peak and holds it there until the effects were off.
The reason why the fruit is addictive is that the stimulation it gives is so high that the person eating it cannot normally reach the level it provides, but their body still craves that intense stimulation. For this reason some of the members use the fruit to break their slaves quickly as one under its influence is pretty much willing to do anything for release. Once they get it they are still not satisfied though and thus they continue to obey until they either outlast the fruit or submit to exhaustion.
3787910
Translation: Nuuuuu I hate rape this story is bad because I hate rape.
Also a person has to be having a dream in order for Luna to enter it.
Ok Heart Ritual, not gonna lie, when I first saw that, I then thought of that scene from Temple of Doom, only with ponies
3985389 Oh god, me too.
I need help.....
This story makes me want to kidnap someone just so I can do this and if they didn't obey me I'll show them the true meaning of torture
well.. I was going to make a quip that she has probaly had dates that went worse but then those two fuck wads walked in.. soo.. nevermind.
4127272 dude.. that's not funny.. don't joke like that.. seriously.. just don't
3985389 gawd dammit now I'm thinking about.. fuuuuuuuuu
6138440
Who said he was joking?