In Equestria lies a secret society of super elite who find sport in kidnapping, imprisoning and taming unsuspecting ponies into submissive sex slaves.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Interesting concept, brainwashing. Like so many other things, people (Or in this case ponies) know about it but understand very little of it. Not many people know it but media is a form of brainwashing used to get people to buy products. The best part about brainwashing though is that it removes tons of hassle. Thus my reasoning of why I enjoyed this chapter and you for being able to keep things spiced up. Bravo. That is the only word for this. Bravo.
another good chapter, love it mistress ^_^
This was a good chapter,
Wow, this was a really creepy chapter I dearly hope Octavia makes it out of this place eventually And I'm just gonna call it now, Octavia's owner is Vinyl. It makes sense as to why Vinyl would miss Octavia's performances in the past, and Schorl seemed to say it in a way that Octavia already knows her owner quite well even though she hasn't met her yet.
So with how well the Rarity fic worked out, I suppose it's high time I give the original another shot. Can't remember where I was on the Fleetfoot arc, and I'm not sure I care either right now either. Might as just skip to Octavia instead. Hope you don't mind some more long comments, but I'll try to take them only a few chapters at a time, to keep things semi-brief.
CHAPTER 14:
Octavia gets some good characterization right off the start. I see some nice familiar aspects that tend to define her in the wider fanon, but also some refreshing original takes from you (or at least that I'd not seen elsewhere before). Of course there's little doubt what Fancy had in mind when he contacted her, but I must say I was rather surprised to see him jump so quickly to outright kidnapping when with his wealth and social connections he could probably have found more subtle ways to acquire her. Not to mention that sending griffin hunters to abduct her straight out of her hotel seems a rather brazen act. No wonder The Society is starting to fall under suspicion by your next story, as I can only imagine just how much less reserved some of the even less scrupulous members must be.
CHAPTER 15:
A few nice delightful quotes...
Heheh... somewhat amusing considering said unicorn with the overinflated ego is your own ponysona.
Creepy, yet probably all to frighteningly true. Also more fodder to fuel my suspicions about Schorl own true nature.
I must say, Schorl the character only becomes an ever increasingly interesting the more I read about her. Definitely one of the better OC self-inserts I've ever seen, regardless of being put in the kind of uncontested position of authority that would normally make for a boring Mary Sue, she continues to demonstrate an impressive amount of dynamic depth. Makes me almost regret never having the opportunity to "chat" with her more directly back before the RP ban.
Ehem... ...so, not to be further distracted by the crystal mistress, let's get back to Octavia. All things considered she's remaining remarkably composed and levelheaded, learning everything she can and biding her time until she figures out a way to escape.
CHAPTER 16:
So, Whiplash actually first showed up in the previous chapter, but I'll talk about her here. She's certainly one sadistically twisted puppy, and yet despite how much obvious pleasure she takes in cruelly abusing others she does at least play somewhat fair albeit while still pushing her trainees to their absolutely exhausting limits before finding some new torment to inflict. She's rather detestable, but there's something almost likeable about how genuinely upfront she is about everything -- which is to say at least one always knows where they stand with her, under her sharp pointy heal.
Then there's Comet Tail, he's nothing all the important in and of himself. Rather, he represent just how deviously effective The Society is at divide and conquer. In forcing the slaves to turn on each other to look out for their own self interests, it undermine in ability for the to trust each other and thereby make any cooperative efforts to escape or otherwise rebel.
Also, more Schorl, but I already gushed about her plenty above.
Anyway, overall a rather interesting warm up. These first three chapters don't waste anytime degrading Octavia, but the sexual aspect is decidedly underplayed due to her designated status. It's there and it's certainly depraved, but not really the main attraction. Rather there's just more of that juicy emotional turmoil, a slow burn building towards a seemingly inevitable climax, keeping me on edge and ever eager to read one chapter after the next.
you missed a very important detail from the previous chapter.
she didn't save him anything..
He succumbed to the weight and full length of the phallus by the time she finished her 25miles.
In fact he hit the floor just seconds after the treadmill stopped. Whiplash was delighted to tell her she had failed even though she had finished her laps before he fell.
That's when she passed out.
I gotts to say that subliminal propaganda is pretty hawt.