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Sen and the Fountain

Sen is an illusion, a mirage. She appears before a traveller, who decides to help her realise her destiny.
After meeting up with Chocolate Pi and Twilight Sparkle, the four of them undergo a quest to free Sen from her current state.
Stars 3 OC ponies and one Canon one.
Basically used as an introduction to Sen and Fortune.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 3 )

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Shukin

Shukin #1 · May 2nd, 2012 · · ·

I suppose this was an one-shot? Sen wasn't that much developed, so her fears in drinking from the fountain was unjustified until that point, as she was just that "mysterious and wise" spirit. And, exactly for the same reason, they shouldn't be so close out of basically nowhere. I suggest you to not fragment the paragraphs like you did, as it worsens the overall quality of the writing.

Well, it was a good pastime, at least.

PhoKingAzn

PhoKingAzn #2 · May 3rd, 2012 · · ·

I agree with Shukin, seems more like a oneshot then a huge continuous story

Squashue

Squashue #3 · May 3rd, 2012 · · ·

your OC
Chocolate Pi
my OC
Chocolate Pie
Chocolate Pi and Pie have glasses
Chocolate Pi and Pie have brown coats
Chocolate Pi and Pie are different (but just slightly)
And I'm all like wat?