• Published 2nd Jan 2014
  • 405 Views, 5 Comments

Shattered knee, Shattered dreams - Stormin Away



Some things have to be learned the hard way. In this case, it involves Rainbow Dash, a race bike, a wet track, and a time she wouldn't die on.

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Chapter 1: Hospital

I must have blacked out pretty hard. I can hear rain pounding above me. I'm inside something. Probably the safety chariot. My vision's blurred. I can hear a steady rumble. Are those voices? They sound like them. I might as well close my eyes and let this dream be over with.

--

I wake up to beeping. Probably my alarm. My eyes open. Wait, that's not cloud. I don't remember that ever being in my house. I can hear myself breathing... heavily. I lift my head up to a not-so pretty sight. There's my five friends, all with concerned looks on their faces. Pinkie's mane is straight. I start hyper ventilating. This isn't a dream. Far from it. In a split second blur, I'm pinned against the bed, staring into the face of Twilight,

"Twilight... where's the bike? Where is everyone!?" Is all I can gasp out in my shock. She reaches down and lifts a foggy respirator from my muzzle,

"That's not our first concern..." Twilight trailed off, looking deeply worried,

"Rainbow... you shattered your leg in that wreck" Applejack told me, sounding just as worried as Twilight,

"You were airlifted here from the track, that's how we found out" Twilight added on. No, that can't be it. I'm probably still at the track. I shake my back legs to get out of bed, and a rocket of pain shoots up through my body. I have to hold my breath just to keep my head from exploding from that pain. I'm hyperventilating again. That actually happened. I look back to the foot of my bed. Applejack lifts the blanket up, and there's my bare leg, bloated and pulsating in several places,

"I ain't lying" Applejack said with solemn. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Rarity on the verge of fainting, and Fluttershy hidden behind her mane. I'm frozen, shivering slightly. I have no way to react to this. I've had broken wings... But this. I hear someone calling my name. It's Twilight. I rotate my head toward her,

"Yeah?" I weakly say,

"Rainbow... I'm so sorry this happened so suddenly" Twilight says to me, just as weakly as I talk to her,

"Wait... can I at least ride soon?" I hoarsely ask, hoping for something good in this mess,

"Dash, you won't be able to stand up let alone ride a motorcycle" Applejack bluntly declares, still brutally honest. For the third time in 5 minutes, I was back in total shock, only now tears are welling in my eyes. I breathe in heavily through my nose, sucking in any tears. I've never cried at anything. I can't start now. Now knowing that I won't be able to-No. I'll probably be on my hooves in no time. I'm a quick healer... Right? I glance over to Twilight,

"Twi, I'll be back out there for the team as soon as possible. If I have to saw off my cast, I will. I've got to finish this season" I reassure to Twilight. I mean, it only takes a day or two to heal a broken wing, can't be much longer for a leg. At least, I hope. Twilight looks irritated,

"Rainbow, you're failing to understand something" Twilight stated, sounding a little annoyed. Applejack came and took Twilight's spot by my bedside,

"Dash, your leg, is shattered. Do you know what shattered means?" Applejack sternly asked,

"Yeah, it's like when a glass falls and breaks everywhere" I respond,

"Well, that's exactly what happened to your leg when the bike landed on you in the wreck" AJ stated, still being as blunt as possible,

"Isn't the surgery gonna glue it all back together? Then is it just quick healing?" I ask, a sense of panic creeping back into my voice. AJ face cycled through a variety of expressions, mostly of the "your on your own with that" sorts,

"You'll have to find that out on your own time" AJ finally stated. I'm not sure what that means, but at this rate she might as well have said it needed to be amputated. I hear the curtain rattle. Of course, the doctor. I know this moment like the back of my hand,

"Girls, we have to get Dash here under the knife as soon as possible, so try and wrap it up before she passes out" The doc says with urgency. This must be a lot worse than I thought. Normally he's never that urgent, not even with broken limbs. As he puts that green liquid-that-makes-you-pass-out in my IV, Twilight comes back up to the side of the bed,

"You have no idea how serious this is, do you?" Twilight asked, still as solemn as she has been,

"The doc seemed pretty scared..." I weakly answer, hoping that's the end of it. Twilight breathes deeply a few times,

"It's much worse than that..." She finally says, staring down at the bed. From this angle, I can see her chest having a spasm, like she's close to crying. I look to Applejack. She's looking down and shaking her head while glancing up at me. My eyes pass Pinkie, straight-maned as she's been, staring at the floor and taking notice of me when my eyes pass her. Rarity's nervously shuffling her hoof, and Fluttershys behind her mane. All 5 of my friends are lost for words. This must be some serious business. Trying to get a word out of somepony, I lean back to Twilight,

"How long will I be in..." My vision blurs and blacks. It's kicking in. I force myself awake to finish the question, "How long will I be in..."

--

My eyes open to a tan blur. I blink, and I see it's tan tile. Did I really just go through surgery? I lift up my upper body, hearing lots of cracks and pops as I do so. I must have ridden pretty hard yesterday. There's a curtain directly to my right, what I think is sunlight streaking around its left side. I reach out my hoof, only for it stop short about an inch. You're kidding. I try to nudge myself, but something's weighing me down. Annoyed, I lift my covers, and there's a familiar mass of tan plaster covering my left leg. It all floods back. The track. The wreck. The hospital. That stallion... that stallion. I just wanna rip his head off with my bare hooves right now. I'll go show right-oh wait. I've got an anchor on my leg. I lay back in bed, contemplating what I'll do to him once I get up. I hear a door open and close on my left. I look, and it's Nurse Redheart,

"Good morning, rainbow dash, how does your leg feel?" Redheart says to me, cheery as she always is,

"Good" I say, sounding like I just woke up on a Monday. The nurse heads to my right and draws the curtain. Sunlight streaks through right into my eyes,

"You remember me as Nurse Redheart, I'm going to give you your morning drug dose, is there anything I can do for you?" The nurse quickly says while sorting out some pills. As she puts some stuff in my IV,

"Get me a new leg so I can go racing" I say, tired as usual. I wasn't even being sarcastic. Redheart gets solemn. Please, not this again,

"Sorry, but that won't be for a while" Nurse says to me, coming to my bedside with some pills in her hoof, "Open wide for your pils" she says,

"Nurse, I can feed myse-" I try to say, but mid sentence the pills are shoved in my throat, followed by some tap water. After I swallow, I cough a few times, "Nurse, you know I could have done that myself, right?" I ask,

"I'm aware of that, but I know how you procrastinate on your pills from breaking your wing" She bluntly says. I would take a stand, but I've got more important things on my mind. Like being tired. Nurse collects the pill bottles and starts to leave. Before the door, she stops, "Anything else I can get you?" She asks. I tell her no thanks. She leaves, and I'm left to myself once again. I want to fall asleep, but I'm awake, and the sun's gonna be in my eyes any minute, so I might as well not. There's a tv in the corner. I don't usually have time for this, but now I might as well. I reach over to my remote and turn the tv on. I go to change channel and-Are you kidding me? It's qualifying for the race at Road Atlanta! The one I'M supposed to be in! Resisting the urge to both scream and throw the remote through the screen, I reach for the button to turn the tv off, and I stop,

"In a rather rainy Free Practice 1, racer Rainbow Dash had a terrible accident at turn 6 that shattered most of her leg..." Commentary continued as I watched footage from that day. Of me. On that lap. Every moment of it. From what I saw, I was hauling it towards the turn, then I hit a puddle, skidded towards the rumble strip, got flicked off, and then as I was sliding, the bike crashed down right on my shin. I can't take this any more, tv's off. I lay in bed, just hoping for something that doesn't involve this mess. The anchor on my leg doesn't help that. At all. Finally, after Celestia-knows how long of self pity, I doze off.

--

I wake up with my head in a fog. What just happened? Must be the drugs. I hear something close to my left. I blink, hoping to take glaze out of my vision. It somewhat works. From what I see, it's my friends. Somepony's missing. Twilight approaches the side of my bed,

"Hey Rainbow, how're you feeling?" She asks me. She sounds a lot better than last time, not like I'm dieing right before her eyes,

"Good" I respond, trying to sound as normal as possible, because you know, I'm not high on pain pills,

"Did the surgery go well?" She asks. I lift up the blanket to show her the cast,

"I don't know, I haven't seen the doc yet" I tell her. I hear the door open and close. What a coincidence, it's the doctor,

"Good afternoon Rainbow Dash and company" the doctor greets. He's not panicked, or solemn, and that's probably the best thing that's happened to me at this rate. The doctor comes towards the foot of the bed, "Alright Dash, I have nothing but good news for you!" The doc says, sounding pretty excited. My friends got eager to hear the news, and I tried to feel somewhat eager, but these painkillers are really numbing my feelings, "Okay, first off, the surgery was a complete success" he says, being interrupted by my friends letting out a cheer. I've been through harder things in my life, so I don't see the big deal. A few seconds later, I hear fluttershy's yay. Fluttershy was in here? I have no clue anymore, "it had a really low success rate with how bad the shatter was, but in just the nick of time, we got your leg nice and put back together. About two months in recovery, and you'll be back on your hooves" the doctor says quickly. Did he really just say 2 months in recovery, 2 MONTHS IN BED DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!?

"Doc, am I gonna really be in bed, FOR 2 MONTHS!?" I frantically ask him. Hey, I showed some emotion at least,

"Yes ma'am, that's the estimated recovery time for your leg to heal" He tells me, while my heads on the verge of exploding,

"MY MOTO GP SEASON ENDS IN 2 MONTHS!" I yell at him, leaning as close as I can with my anchor leg,

"Hey, I'm not the one who broke your leg" He bluntly tells me. I'm lost for words. Did I really just get zinged by a doctor? What is this, flight school? "Well, good to know you didn't take that so lightly" he says, making his way towards the door. Applejack stops him and secretly tells him something. Applejack's here? I'm losing my mind,

"Dash, you're pouting again" Twilight tells me,

"Thanks for the reminder" I tell her. Rarity comes up to the side of the bed and Twilight leaves,

"Rainbow Dash, why are you acting like a big foal?" She asks me. Please, stop acting like you're from Canterlot for once,

"I'm not being a big foal, I'm just mad, that's all" I tell her, which is true. Applejack soon shoves her way into Rarity's spot, grabs my muzzle, and locks us eye-to eye

"Look, Dash, you better mare up sometime real soon, because I don't wanna live with a whiny filly for the next 2 months" Applejack scolds. I must have put her over the edge on that one, I've never seen her get that mad that quickly.trying to get her to back down,

"I'm sorry AJ" I tell her. She gives me the same look she did before I went under the knife,

"Sure don't look like it" she bluntly tells me, then starts making her way towards the door, Rarity filing behind her. Fluttershy gets up to leave, but she stops. She glances back at me, I can see a chill run through her. I can hear a faint mumble from her that I can't recognize. I try to ask her to speak up, but she's already out of the room. I wait a few minutes to see if Twilight's coming back. After a few minutes, she still hasn't come back, so I just forget about it. Then it hits me. All of my friends just left me without saying goodbye. All of my friends just left me without saying goodbye. Never in my entire relationship with them have they ever left without at least one of them saying bye to me. Oh Celestia, what have I done to myself? First, I killed probably half of my Moto GP career, and now my relationship with my 5 closest friends? I don't even try to get any good out of this, there's none of it left. My career and friends, basically my entire life, have been ruined. Dear Celestia, why am I this pathetic? Why am I just laying here telling myself there's no reason to live? There has to be some reason to live... Right? That actually takes me a second to think about it. This anchor on my leg isn't helping. At all. I hear the door open. Nurse Redheart walks in with my pills. Without saying a word, I let her give me my pills similar to this morning. She leaves, and I'm alone once again. I would stay up and let my drugged emotions fight each other again, but what's the point when no one cares about me? I fall asleep as an answer to that question.

--

I wake up with my head in a fog. I lift my upper body to several cracks and pops. Must have ridden pretty hard yesterday. I look to the window, and it's almost sunset. I just lay motionless in bed, letting my senses dull with the drugs,

"Rainbow Dash, are you awake?" My senses rocket back to life. I can recognize that voice anywhere, one that usually means pure humiliation. Believe, me, that's the last thing I need after this afternoon, or was that yesterday? I have no clue. I look to my left, and my theories are correct. Not only mom, but my dad's with her also. Immediately upon seeing my face, Mom gasps in happy shock, "Dashie, you're okay!" She yells in excitement, running to the side of my bed, hugging and kissing me on the cheek. Dad tries to hide his laughing, but can't resist. And this is why I'm not a big fan of my Mom. While she continues to cling to me like a colt reuniting with his marefriend, I turn to my Dad,

"Hey Dad, how'd you find me here?" I ask him,

"Well when we came to your door for the 5th time this month, we found this taped to your door" he explained, showing me a piece of paper reading "Dashie's in the hospital" signed by Twilight. Really Twilight? Did you have to drag my parents into this? "We also saw this underneath" Dad says, pulling out a piece of cardboard with "Out of town, be back Monday" written on it in my handwriting. Suddenly, my memory pieces itself back together. Free Practice. Why was I there even though I didn't need it? To get away from my parents, who have been trying to visit me for a month now. Why did I not want my parents in my presence? Because I know Mom would probably flip out and never let me race again once she finds out how many wrecks I witness every day I'm out there. Mom finally lifts her head from my chest,

"Dashie, I'm so sorry we couldn't make it yesterday, they said you were in surgery, but I'm just so sorry my foal has to go through this mess!" Mom tells me in the sappiest voice possible before going back in on my cheek. Thank you, I've got enough of your spit on my cheek. Dad finally leans in from the other end and quietly tells Mom something. Whatever he said, Mom backed off of me so that's a good thing,

"So Dash, how'd the surgery go?" Dad asks me. I pull up the blanket to show my anchor,

"I honestly have no idea just from the cast, mainly because I slept through most of it" I tell him,

"Most of it?" He asks, looking at me concerned. Realizing what I just said, I give him a somewhat goofy smile to reassure him. Immediately he starts laughing quietly, "Ah Dash, still as sharp as I remember you" My Dad tells me, messing up my already terrible mane. I don't mind him as much as I do Mom. Mainly because we both enjoy putting ourselves on the line and staring death in the face. He's like the perfect Coltfriend I've never had. Oh wait, he's not. I wouldn't have the grudge against him that I do. All that aside, I just have to ask,

"Dad, how long are you two gonna be in town for?" I ask,

"Well, since you got in this accident, and no one else seems up to it..." Dad starts off,

"We'll be moving in and caring for you during recovery" she finishes. My jaw wants to drop to the floor. Two months locked in my room with my emotional and overprotective mother who'll embarrass the living crap out of me, and my dad who I've had a grudge against for the past 4 years? This can only get better from here, "Dashie, what's wrong?" Mom asks me, already concerned,

"Nothing" I tell her nonchalantly. Wow, I'm getting horrible at hiding myself. I look back out the window. The sky's getting blacker by the minute. I turn to Dad, "Well Dad, the Nurse'll be in here for my pills soon, it was nice seeing you again, thanks for coming here" I tell him,

"I love you, Dashie" he tells me, leaning in for a kiss. I reach my hoof out and stop his muzzle right there, then pull him into a tight hug,

"I love you to, Dad" I say back to him, and break. Mom leans in and plants an over exaggerated kiss on my cheek,

"I love you, Dashie" she tells me, and then both of them join and start to leave,

"Bye guys" I tell them as they're leaving. I hear them say that back to me on their way out. The door closes, and I'm alone as the room fades to darkness. Eventually Nurse Redheart comes and gives me the pills for the night. I fall asleep with the drugs as I've done the past few times.

--

I awake once again to dulled senses and mind. I glance out the window, the sun's streaking through, must be late morning. Late morning. Wait, I have race to be at! I throw the covers up to get out of bed, glance for my full body leathers... wait a minute this isn't my room. I try to turn my body, only to be stopped. Oh, right. That thing. I'm probably getting released soon, maybe I'll make it just in time for the grid. I'll saw this thing off and race, I've seen it done before. Should work for me, right? I hear the door open,

"Good morning, Rainbow Dash!" I hear the familiar voice of the nurse say. As soon as she's in my sight,

"Nurse, can you get me some crutches and help me out of bed? I ask her, trying to drag my casted leg, which is surprisingly heavy,

"No, why?" She asks back. I look at her, thinking she's crazy,

"I've got a race to be at, aren't I getting released today?" I ask her. I thought she was supposed to know this stuff,

"Dash, it's only just been 2 days" She tells me,

"And isn't 2 days when I'm released?" I continue to question. Nurse looks on the verge of a face hoof,

"Rainbow Dash, I said that you'd be released in 2 and a half days. I told you last night, remember I told you last night?" She explains to me. Finally it hits me after much confusion,

"...what" I blankly say,

"I think you're starting to get a little crazy, Dash. Now open up for your pills" She tells me. I do so out of habit and let her feed me. Then she collects the pills and leaves, stopping to throw my blanket back on and rotate my anchor leg,

"See you later" I tell her, still confused. The door closes, and I'm back to being alone. With another mental fog starting to set in, I lay down and fall back asleep.

--

I can feel something stroking my mane. I flutter my eyes open to a blurred vision. Somepony's sitting above me. I can't for the life of me figure out who that is. I squint my eyes again, and my vision clears up. That's my Mom, stroking me like a newborn foal. Who else could that be? My mind's still foggy, that'll probably wear off soon. I look over to my dad on the other side,

"Hey Dad, hey Mom" I slur to them, sounding like I had just awoke on a Monday morning only I'm 10x as tired,

"I'm so sorry we couldn't make it earlier, we never knew you're asleep for so long" Mom tells me. When is she ever not concerned? I have no clue,

"And that's saying a lot, considering how you were in the summers you were home" Dad tells me. Oh yeah, back when I was at home. I slept 12 hours most of the time. Now I have no clue how long an hour even is,

"Heh, you're right" I tell him, still sounding really slurred. Through my fog I can hear a door open and close. Probably just the nurse. Nope, it's... Twilight? Oh crap, this is probably the most embarrassing thing she'll ever see me stuck in! As if that's not bad enough, in comes Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy. I thought they had left me for dead! But wait, why would I hate being stuck with my parents if they were gone? I don't even know anymore. Just get me some pills so I can go back to sleep. Finally, my parents break from their conversations with my friends and Applejack comes to the foot of my bed,

"Dash, can you lean up to me for a second?" AJ asks me. This is it. The part where they all storm off and forget I even exist. A silence stands between us. Anything can happen. Finally, "Hey, I'm sorry I went off at ya like that. I didn't really know how painful this is for ya" she tells me, actually with some sincerity this time, "but that still doesn't change the fact that neither of us wanna have to live with a big, whiny foal for the next 2 months" she tells me right up front,

"So uhh, are we still friends?" I nervously ask her. What happened yesterday doesn't help that,

"Of course we are, sugar cube" AJ tells me, still as sincere as can be. Really sappy, but my heart still warms from it. You know what, screw it. I pull AJ into a tight hug,

"Thank you for staying with me" I tell her while we're still in a hug. This is just so sappy my body's gonna melt from it. Finally, we break, and I sit back as far as possible. The anchor however forces me to lay down,

"Anytime" AJ calmly says to me. Now that that's over, I turn to Twilight,

"So, what's been going on with you?" I ask her. She sighs,

"Everything's in an uproar, the whole town thinks you're done for" She explains to me. Something's off about her, I just can't put my hoof on it,

"Pfft, they obviously don't know me well enough" I say back to her. That's about as true as can be, considering I've only lived here 3 years,

"Yeah, but either way, my house is a mess, but I'm not seeing any reason to clean it when I'll be visiting you for the next 2 months" she tells me, sounding really bored. Wait a minute, Twilight not caring about a messy house? That's odd. Like, really odd,

"Well, uh, how's Spike doing?" I ask her, trying to pull something out of my ear,

"Well, he's rejoicing the fact that he doesn't have to clean everything" she responds monotonously. She just seems so... Blah,

"Twilight, is something up?" I ask her, showing some genuine concern,

"It would be kind of hard for something not to be up when one of your closest friends won't be walking for 2 months" She tells me, still talking to me like an old history teacher,

"Why do you act like it's such a big deal, I'll come out of this better than ever!" I tell her. Twilight leans down towards me, making close eye contact,

"Rainbow, do you know what it feels like to lose the one thing that makes your life worthwhile?" She quietly says to me, almost closer to a whisper. I take a second to shuffle through my mind,

"Well..." I trail off a bit, "I've had to buck the trees for AJ a number of times when she'd twist an ankle" I finally respond. Twilight sets her head in her hooves and shakes it slowly from side to side. After she finally lifts her head up to the point where she can see me,

"Look, you just don't understand..." Twilight trails off, lowering her head to her hooves, and raising it again, "you have one of the closest bonds to me in Equestria..." Her voice is shaking. Sobfest inbound, "I just care about you too much to let you mess yourself up like this..." She trails off, putting her face back in her hooves. AJ comes by her side and takes her towards the door, looking as concerned as I felt for her. Something's been rattling around in my head. Twilight just said she cared about me. I look towards Dad, still on my right side. Even he, being the stallion I know him as, looks somewhat concerned,

"Dash, I'll say this right now. You must have messed up something fierce" Dad says to me. I've got nothing to respond with. I feel something lean on my bed. I rotate my head, to see it's Mom,

"One last thing, just remember that we'll still be here for you during and after these 2 months" she told me, "now, we've got to get back to work, so I'll see you then," she leans down and plants one on my cheek. I give Dad as tight a bear hug as my jelly forelegs can give. On their way out I say goodbye to them and they return the goodbye. Just a little later, AJ and Twilight come back,

"Dashie, I'm gonna take Twilight to my place, somethin's going on with her, and it's a lot worse than I thought" AJ tells me. Twilight does little more than glance and try to make a small smile at me, "So until tomorrow, I'll see ya later" AJ says as a farewell. Twilight follows, then Rarity. As they leave I shout a final goodbye, and the door shuts. I lay back in my-Oh wait, Fluttershy's still here. I watch her nervously get up from her chair and head towards the side of my bed. I can watch her eyes darting everywhere but me. Finally, still shaking like a leaf, she focuses on me. After a few moments of silence,

"Rainbow Dash, I... I... Just wanted to say thatiloveyou" She tries to squeak out. I can barely hear her. I don't know, but something's just so... perfect about her,

"What? Speak up" I tell her. Her eyes dart to the door and back to me a few times. This must have taken a lot of guts,

"I... I... loveyou" She tries to say again, the last part being nothing more than a squeak,

"I'm sorry, but can you say that again?" I tell her. Come on, you're so close, She gives a small sign of frustration, and then takes a few deep breaths,

"I... I love you" She finally gets out. Suddenly, I feel her get right up on the bed, hugging me like a foal would her stuffed animal. I can hear her pleading apologies into my ear. After I finally get her to calm down, I put her face to face with me,

"Fluttershy, I'm actually proud of you on that one!" I tell her with a sincere praise. Immediately she lights up,

"You are?!" She responds in as excited of a voice that she can make. I pull her back into a hug. Just as we're about to pull, I feel a small smooch on my cheek. When we break, she gets back on the ground, "Well, um-I have to go now, I'll see you tomorrow!" She tells me, still jubilant,

"See ya later" I tell her as she heads out the door, completely relieved of any stress. The door shuts, and now I'm alone, again. With nothing better to do, I just lay back in bed, wondering about what just happened. Fluttershy just confessed love to me. Fluttershy just confessed love to me. On one hoof that's awesome since she actually did that on her own, on the other, this could get ugly. Most of that stems from Flight School. Ugh, flight school. I'm so happy I got the heck out of Cloudsdale as soon as I graduated. That's the main reason why I never fessed up to her. Yeah. I have feelings for her. Happy those feelings are never leaving this shaken up skull of mine. And they never will. Not as long as I live on the face of Equestria. And that is due to one memory that's perhaps both my greatest and worst one from flight school...

--

I stumble into my dorm, a pounding headache from the wreck I had earlier. In front of the school. Didn't help that one of the most gorgeous fillies around was in the crowd. I have no idea what her name was, and I'd rather not remember it. I flopped on my bed, ready to forget about today, that was until I heard a knock on the door. I went to open it, and there she was. Cheesy, I know, but just her sheer beauty made my jaw drop. Eventually, she made her way into my dorm, and my face turned to nervousness. Upon seeing me, the filly giggled a bit,

"Has anyone told you that you're cute when you're nervous?" She had asked me. I had blushed a bit. Bad move, Dash. The filly came up right next to me, "Soooo..." She started off seductively, "you into fillies?" She finished, also seductively. I had snapped out of it,

"What? No!" I had responded,

"So that means you wouldn't get anything out of it... if I did... This?" She had asked, all as seductive as a loan shark. Then finally, she leaned up against me, and started licking my ear tips. I must admit it was the greatest pleasure I had felt for the first time in my life, and also at a time when I was naïve as crap. So understandably I got a wingboner. As she was licking my ear tips, I was dumb enough to whip my head around and kiss her on the cheek. That's when everything went to Tartarus. Finally, we broke, "So, you do like fillies?" She asked, still with me in her loop,

"Yes... You got me" I told her. She headed towards my table and pulled a camera off of it,

"Easiest 5 bits ever made" she told herself evilly as I put 2 and 2 together to realize the situation. That's when I went berserk. I had arced over her and stopped her right at my doorway, slamming it so that she couldn't get through. Steam blowing through my nose, "What? Afraid of being a les-" she started to gloat, but I had thrown my front hoof right through her pretty little face. She tried to scream for help, but then I hit her again. And again, and again, and again. I stopped when she was on the verge of tears, begging for mercy. I went to punch, but she tried to counter it. In a swift movement, I twisted her hoof until she fell on her back, screaming in pain. As she laid there with blood pouring out of her nose, I grabbed the camera. Without even saying anything, I shoved the camera in her mouth, swung my hoof up, and brung it right down on her mouth. Hearing the satisfying cracking of her teeth only made me do it again. Finally, I leaned in, and locked eyes with her red, teary eyes,

"If I hear anything about this from your TOOTHLESS LITTLE MOUTH" I snarled at her as she just whimpered, "I doing this to EVERY. ONE. OF YOUR FRIENDS." I almost yelled in her face. After that, I just go up, locked the door to my dorm, and went to sleep, full of satisfaction.

--

Yeah. And that's why I don't talk about my feelings for Fluttershy. I can only imagine how many ponies (more than I can beat up before they spread it) would see us kissing or something and then my Moto GP life would be RUINED. What time is it? I glance outside, it's pitch black. As if on cue, the door opens, and there's the Nurse. After a quick feeding of my pills, I lay down and go to sleep.

--

I wake up once again to a foggy mind. This is getting really old. I lift my head up and glance out the window. Probably late morning again. A little later I hear the door open,

"Goooood morning Rainbow Dash!" Redheart says to me, sounding unusually giddy,

"Morning" I blankly say back to her,

"Today's the day that you'll be out of the hospital" she tells me, still excited. Finally, this felt like forever,

"Yes, I can't wait to get back home!" I tell her, trying to sound as excited as possible through this drug haze,

"Well, since last night was your last drug shot, I will see you again at noon to help you out of bed" Nurse told me, quickly writing something on a clipboard, and then heading out of the room. The door shuts, and I'm alone again. I'm finally gonna be out of this place. Has it really only been 2 days? I feel like she should have just given me the drugs so I can sleep away these last few hours. Then again, I'm not crazy about waking up in a haze. Pretty soon I should have some visitors. A few minutes pass, still no one. I feel like I need to talk to someone. I can't have all these thoughts rattling around in my head, because that's just more things to cover up. I don't wanna be one day having to retire from a race because I can't stop thinking about how many ponies I've seen wrecked. I can't give up racing. It's what I'm built to do. Putting my life on the line, that's just a side effect. I have to do it. I want to do it. I just love it that much. I gotta get back out there soon. Thankfully I'm getting released today, I'll probably be in the next race. Where are we going after Road Atlanta? Dunno, have to check. I'm pretty much the only pony in Equestria that's heard anything else besides my awesomeness. I mean, how can I possibly not be awesome? I'm 19, I race bikes, am the fastest flier around, close to Celestia, I can beat up somepony on demand, how is that not awesome? Except those parts where I'm not. Example: I'm a fillyfooler. There's a ton more, but I'd rather not get into that. Now why would I not spill those to anyone? It would kill my reputation to them. I want to be the best at everything, and I can't let anything get in front of that. So it's just best to suck it all back, raise my head, and plow forward. Hasn't failed me yet. I don't know why I've been so stuck in thought about this. It's only been my mentality since freshman year of flight school. I can hear a door open. I wonder who that is,

"Hey Dash" I hear Dad say as he enters my room, "we're gonna take you back home, just sit back and let us do the work" Dad says to me, throwing my blanket off. Before I get a chance, Mom and Dad lift me out of my bed and carry me off,

"Dad, I can get myself to the lobby, so can you put me down?" I request, looking up at him holding my head,

"Dash, just let us get you out of here and home, okay?" He tells me, almost stern. I slightly nod, and then both Mom and Dad change their position so I'm on their back. As they start to walk me out of my room, I look back at my bed. Creepy how I've been there since whenever. Mom opens the door, and I'm almost blinded by the bright lights of the hallway. Around a few corners, and the three of us reach the front lobby. Right there's a wood cart with a pillow and a blanket. Nurse Redheart's standing by the door. Immediately, I'm set down on the floor with mom holding by back legs including the anchor. Finally, Dad comes back, and I'm set into the cart, staring up at the ceiling. I can hear Mom and Dad getting themselves locked in,

"You guys ready?" I hear the Nurse ask. I can hear a door opening,

"Dash, you okay for the ride?" Dad asks,

"Yep" I blankly say back. As the cart starts to move, I pull the blanket over myself. Over a bump, and I'm outside. This feels so weird, the warm air and blinding sun just seem so... strange. I look around on my level, and there's just about everypony in Ponyville on both sides of us, looking like they're at a funeral. I tilt my head just in time to see Twilight and the rest of them, looking much like the rest of them. In a split second, I can no longer hear the wheels. We're taking off. Everything gets smaller and smaller as we rise. I start sliding backward, not enough to fall out obviously. POOMF. We just punched right through a cloud. We must be getting close. After a little more flying, I can hear the soft noise of hooves on cloud, and we stop just outside my front door. I can hear unlocking metal, and Mom and Dad coming on both sides. Dad pushes open my door, puts a doorstop in, then lifts my lower legs. Mom has my upper body again. This time, once they get in my house, they shift my body so I'm laying on top of both of them. I look ahead to see our obstacle: a flight of stairs,

"Alright Dash, hold on tight" Dad tells me loud and clear. I try to wrap my legs around like a spider but the anchor isn't helping. Soon, we have lift. I can hear both of them struggling to keep moving upward. Finally, a quick jolt forward, and they both land with me still on their backs. After clearing that, they get back to carrying me like a dead body and head towards my room. Dad quickly opens the door, and it's exactly how I left it. Closed blinds, ruffled covers, everything. Before heading to my bed, Dad ushers us over and opens my blinds, causing light to pour in. After that, Mom and Dad move me back onto their backs, and gently slide me onto the cloud mattress. Mom goes around and drapes my blanket back over my body, afterwards stopping on the side of my bed,

"Is there anything you want or need?" She asks me softly. I shake my head for no. Mom starts to leave, getting around Dad,

"So, welcome home, Dash, same way you left it?" Dad asks it,

"Pretty much" I respond,

"We'll just yell if you need anything, I'll be across the hallway" he tells me, leaving my room. And now, my Moto GP season.

Spent in my bedroom.

With a casted leg.

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Comments ( 5 )

You want a comment, hmm?

Your title is grammaticly incorrect.
Depending on your intent, use one of these:
Shattered Knee, Shattered Dreams
Shattered Knee; Shattered Dreams

Personally, I would recommend the latter.

:twistnerd::moustache:

Might actually read it later.

Alright, not gonna lie. You've got a fair amount of good here. The scenes with Dash in the hospital are well done, if not very exciting. My attention started to wander pretty quickly, unfortunately. Let's talk about why.

First off, yeesh. Comma much? Even in the first paragraph, I really started to notice the excessive amount of commas and it only got worse from there. A lot of times, you use a comma when a period would do. It's really noticeable and really distracting.

Next issue. Two words: "Rainbow" "Dash". You don't use either of these words in the first chapter. If it wasn't for her being in the blurb, I wouldn't have known she was the protagonist. Sure, I did know she was the protagonist, but that was only because of out-of-story information.

You really skip over the differences between your story and MLP canon. All I got is "Dash lives with Spitfire. She rides a motorcycle. And that's all you're getting." She rides a motorcycle? She lives with Spitfire? How did this happen? Is Spitfire still on the Wonderbolts? Is there a Wonderbolts? Where did the motorcycle come from? Why does she ride it instead of flying? Is this Equestria more technologically advanced than the one we know? By how much? Where was Spitz when Dash was in the hospital? Is Dash a pony? (oh wait, yes. You use "hoof" a grand total of once in the first chapter.) And so on and so forth.

Last big one is the pacing. It's very unstable, very hurky-jerky. You can be going at a fair pace for a good while with short and sweet paragraphs. Then bam! Wall o' text. Try to stabilize the flow and smooth out the progression.

There's a few other issues, but they'll be mostly smoothed over with practice. The big issues are the overuse of commas, skimming over important background and setting information, and the inconsistent pacing. Just fix those up and it should be a lot better.

Good luck and never stop. :pinkiehappy:

3846094

I was just trying to get the "everything crossing Dash's mind at that exact moment" feel. In essence you're in Rainbow Dash's head and she doesn't know it.

You aren't exactly thinking "Okay I got this car from Roscoe's car shop oh and by the way I was born in 1989. Hi audience inside my head!" Every time you look at your car, so why would I do the same for Rainbow Dash?

And also, this is Rainbow Dash. All she wants to do (on a regular track day like what's described) is go fast and make it look easy (and awesome).

Not smacking you down, just bringing up a few points.

3846188 Oh, the choice is yours. I'm just saying you need to consider your readers as well. Leaving us out in the cold and dark is most certainly a possible technique. Just make sure you keep in mind that confused readers who aren't already invested in your story are less likely to keep reading or comment.

You do a good job on the attention grab with the crash, but you kinda squander it after that.

M'kay, since I don't have to say that I'm here from Authors Helping Authors I'm just going to get right to it :pinkiehappy:

:WARNING: MAY CONTAIN EXPLOSIVE SUBSTANCES SPOILERS:


Pros:

1. The plot seems interesting.

2. The AU seems well constructed and consistent.

3. The grammar is fairly good throughout, however there are a few things that I'll go over in a bit.

Cons:

1. The reactions of her friends seem somewhat unrealistic to me, I mean, she's acted much worse than that before and they've stood by her side. I doesn't seem like something they'd do, unless that's also a part of the AU.

2. Some of the speech seems a little bit... off to me. Some sentences just sound clunky and awkward, like they just wouldn't sound right if you read them loud.

3. Consistent grammatical issues. For example:

"Pretty much" I respond,

First off, there needs to be a comma at the end of the quote,also the comma at the end should be a full stop. Like this:

"Pretty much," I respond.

Also, when writing numbers one shouldn't just put the number, like 2 should be two. It might come across as lazy to some.

Also, in the first chapter (prologue is misspelt, common mistake) you put what the characters are doing in their speech. A sigh shouldn't just be put in the character's speech, it should be described. Like, "She let out an explosive sigh.".

Hope I could help and this doesn't come across as being mean-spirited, this story is still better than many on this site. Thus, up-vote :moustache:

Here's my story if you still want to review it. :pinkiehappy:

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