Steamed and Pressed

by Steam Punk

Bets made in a Museum

“Ms. Dash please keep yourself grounded while in the museum, you break it, there’s no replacements and FANCY!” Toot Suite shrieked.

The little squeak followed by a loud crash was me. Toot Suite opened the closet’s door. I laid upside down entangled in brooms and mops. Rainbow Dash bared her back hooves against the wall while trying to tug her head out of the bucket. Toot Suite let loose a discontented sigh. Her last words muttering something about a broom closet.

“Are you well?” To Suite asked brow furrowed in concern, “Yes, I know this is a stupid question to ask but it only seems appropriate in this situation. I would've gone and got the broom after that but it appears the entire broom closet found you.”

“My bad,” Rainbow Dash groaned. With a final yank, she fell into my lap. Caged by broomsticks and mop handles we fell out into a heap across the darkened floor.

. . . Then again . . . Rainbow Dash and I made quite the smashing duet of clumsiness now that I think about it. I carried the saddlebags containing the precious mechanical props.

“Yes quite,” I coughed, “My fault as well but still, Tootsie be a dear, and help us up won’t you please?”

Handles clattered, cleaning supplies rattled and the little mechanic who pulled us to our hooves ruffled her wings as she fretted over the ponies she cared about before worrying over the inventions. Rainbow Dash with a little twist of her noggin removed her impromptu helmet. The mop bucket clanked to the floor eyes widened. Pupils competed with the size of dinner plates.

"Are you well Ms. Dash," I chirruped tentatively.

Meanwhile Rainbow Dash staunchly flickered forward. Her eyes taking in the sights and sounds with barely an ear flick. Ionic architecture opened up amphitheater style to a glorious blue sky. Large machines and even bigger skeletons of prehistoric beasts were each on their own foot tall pedestal surrounded by poles fenced with velveteen ropes. A placard of similar information about each exhibit stood by the displays. The large court yard every six feet had a glassed in box held smaller objects on filly eye level pedestal with the placard beneath it.

Rainbow Dash soared. Prismatic trail blurred in her wake. Wings mightily pumped thrice to meet such clear skies. Only for her hooves to meet solid concrete. The factory floor and industrial ceiling flickered when the hologram projector started to smoke and whir. Toot Suite yanked a wrench from nearby and undid the tension. The boiler powering the device spouted steam causing Toot Suite's hair to frizz, into a puff. A multi-colored puffy cloud coiffure bubbled from the steam. Rainbow Dash pawed at the ceiling trying to dig her way out to open air only to buck it causing the security pony to snap.

"Hey! No breaking the artifacts!" he shouted, "Ceiling is property of the Equestrian Society History Museum only!"

"Bite me!" Rainbow Dash snapped back and the few witnesses there stood aghast. Air Sailor talk is strictly left on the air ships and yes Ms. Dash was taking her frustrations out on the poor passersby, it still fell under taboo to be rude. Victorian sensibilities merely a veneer as it were.

Rainbow Dash opened her wings as she swooped into a back flip. Such grace in her aerial descent. She flapped her wings very hard while she hoovered to my left. The withering glare planted on the poor stranger. She landed haughtily. Her huffiness dismissed with a downward glance. Toot Suite and I exchanged looks between us over her withers. The pony trotting between us, head bowed, wings dragging the ground in her misery, why it was the most heart wrenching pity wallowing I'd ever seen.

"It's not fair," Rainbow Dash bit out, "Nothing around here is fair!"

"What isn't fair?" I inquired. Mind us, we were afraid to ask. A stranger from another world? Our universe is industrialized. Who wouldn't the smell of hot coals and warm tea be unfair?

"The sky is supposed to be the SKY! Not some see-through picture of the sky. Smokestacks fill the horizon with so much smoke I can't tell which is a good cloud to land on or which isn't. The streets are covered in soot. The brickwork is boring and why isn't anypony breaking into song over how unmagical this place is. Why didn't you tell me Luna breathes fire? Which is actually kind of cool but, where's Ponyville! Where's Twilight, Rarity, Spike, Fluttershy, and Applejack?" She seethed, "Where's Zephyr Breeze?"

Rainbow Dash caught herself whimpering, "Ohmigosh, ohmigosh, oh my heck no! . . . I'm missing stuck up lazy Zephyr Bree!"

She choked on her own spit before releasing a scream of fury. Then catching her breath again. Her wings popped open as she threw herself to a dinosaur's feet. Hooves flailing in the latest of at least a dozen panic tantrums.

"My world is OVEEERRRRRRRRRR!" She screeched, her voice nearly cracking in volume.

To which another couple turned to her and whispered, "Shhhhhh."

A tug on her hoof had Rainbow Dash popping her head up. Everypony was staring. By the time she noticed all eyes upon her Rainbow Dash picked herself up. The cyan pony traced circles in the floor. Toot Suite busily ran a brush through her mane until it was smoothed. Of course Tootsie's brush was mainly a plank of bristles hovering on a tiny helicopter. She did pretty good working joystick remote control between her hoof and mouth. I casually shrug my shoulders and bit back a giggle. I couldn't keep my lips from dropping into a frown.

"heh-heh," Rainbow Dash smiled, pink in her cheeks, "sorry."

Toot Suite sighed modestly. The things stuffed back into her saddlebags. She trotted up to Rainbow Dash calmly. The pony flinched at a hoof by her shoulder. Toot Suite was gentle about her thoughts however.

"It would be scientifically inefficient to bottle up your frustrations," she tried to reassure the fellow Pegasus, "But must you make every problem a pestilence?"

"Express?" I coughed out, "Rainbow Dash's mood swings are amazing." I'd wilted sadly under Ms. Dash's grimance, "I mean you do have such a broad range of expressions Ms. Dash. Considering the circumstances could you zip one lap around the museum exhibits?"

"But the ceiling is too low, and I might hit a pipe," Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

"Oh . . ." I wilted under Rainbow Dash's gaze, ears pinned flat against my neck, of all the bright ideas, "Fly low or do whatever adjustments you need. One quick lap through the exhibit might help hmm smooth out the twitches and I'll meet you both at the exit."

"Fancy you're crazy," Toot Suite interjected, "You know the flight would be slow going, tedious, and oh." Realization dawned across her features, "Oh right, right, whelp it's your turn to stack this next piece of the puzzle Fancy why don't you charm up your old contacts. Rainbow Dash and I will do some recon and meet you at the exit only if that's okay with you Ms. Dash?"

"Fine whatever," Rainbow Dash huffed zipping ahead, "But cut it with the formalities, would ya? It feels, weird somehow."

Toot Suite balked at the claim. Her wings all a twitter.

"I-I am not being formal," she stuttered, "I am being professional Ms. Dash."

"See there you go again!" Rainbow Dash yelled out.

I watched my two companions fly away. Rainbow Dash's noisy chatter sometimes interrupted with a sharp comment from Toot Suite. The flight was slow going as predicted, winding around brass pipes disguised as cumulus nimbus. Toot Suite's easy banking versus Rainbow Dash's flips and dives. The flight would let the two Pegasi burn off much needed steam.

It allowed me time to think. Mechanization and good snap decisions were up Toot Suite's and Ms. Dash's alley as being mares of action. Yet I couldn't help noticing the differences. Browsing without really looking at the placards, I had a cache of acting experience under my belt playing roles normally meant for Unicorns and Pegasi. As an Earth Pony myself I had to research the other species found in Equestria trying to take on their mannerisms and behavior patterns temporarily in order to step into their horseshoes.

As it were the mysterious visitor confounded me. I didn't know her as intimately as I did Toute Suite, the ponies I was in the makeup room with and Rainbow Fruit who was a wig and mane extension away from looking like Rainbow Dash. Except he happens to be an exceptionally effeminate male and I doubt that would be a good comparison to find answers. Hoof tips tapping impatiently I wandered past the mirror exhibit thinking, if I needed to find Rainbow Dash's problem than maybe I'd needed to find a bit more research from what she has told us.

"Hmm-hmm-hum let's see," I mumbled meandering through the exhibits from Pop Culture to Ancient History, "Rainbow Dash, she's complained about a lack of open skies and the smog disrupting the cloud banks."

I passed by the air pirate exhibit. Imagining her all decked out for a night at the breezes. Knife in her teeth. Bandanna taming her unkempt locks. She could be plundering, looting and stealing maybe? She's adventurous yes but the ponies in the air navy who had taken up to fighting with knives get several nicks and cuts around their lips. Rainbow Dash had just crashed into a pipe with a loud clang. Make that unable to literally navigate the machinery as well. The Pegasi had turned to making their air ships a weather based engine system instead of using runes and Gems. The cloud factories have excess jarred lightning.

"No she is not an air pirate she doesn't like industry and the air buccaneers make a profit stealing from the rich to sell overpriced to the poor," I concluded to no one in particular, "She did say she was famous, maybe she is a singer?"

I popped passed the Pop Culture exhibit again. There was a hall of fame for celebrity tabloids. Sadly as I trotted by each piece my heart hung heavier with disappointment. None of the pictures above each pedestal matched Rainbow Dashes prismatic appearance. The names on the Pedestals did not say Rainbow Dash. I nipped up a brochure. They'd listed party after party after party.

"Now what group did Rainbow Dash say she was in? The Wonderbolts?" I mused, "That group does not exist. Does it?"

"No it doesn't," yelled Toute Suite in the distance.

In an exasperated sigh I closed my eyes. I bowed my head. There is an answer. It is grounded in some form of science, magic, or technology.

"Yes it does!" Rainbow Dash yelled back.

I bit my lip anxiously knowing Rainbow Dash sounded like she was telling the truth. Yet her stories matched none of the evidence laid before me. Museums are supposed to be the easiest lanes of research in the world. All someone had to do was plug in those little gray cells. Pick a topic and search. It's too bad a stallion named Google got beat to the idea of public knowledge first. If all else fails maybe the library?

"Oh no!!" Rainbow Dash yelled.

A piece of pottery broke somewhere. I galloped, panicked at what I'd find. I slammed the doors open. My saddlebags flopped heavily against my barrel. My insides heaved for air. Panic setting in.

"Do you have any sixes?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Go fish," Toute Suite declared.

Rainbow Dash smashed a hoof down. She glared at the coffee mug clinking on the table. With a grimance she dragged her hoof along the table to her hand of cards. Ears pricked forward in delight. Her cheeks straining against her gigantic grin. She reared up, sending cards everywhere the table flipped over. The cramped little closet couldn't hold her wide expressive movements.

"Wahoo! I win!" she wooped, her cheer causing several people to shush her, she cringed and shrunk back into her seat. The saloon exhibit featured a live movie setting of sorts, (I played the waitress for that Prone Wayne film then). The guests could pretend to be cowpokes sitting around a real oak table playing cards and sipping carbonated apple soda from Cider Mugs just for the experience. The only thing not letting Rainbow Dash sink into the dusty wood floor was the chair. "Whoops . . . sorry."

Her tail was still wagging in the background. Dust clouds kicked up into coughing card players faces. Rainbow Dash's wide eyes watered piteously. Her lip jutted out past her snout. The look on her face bargaining 'Maybe if I act adorable. I'd be too cute for trouble.

I blinked back the dust from my eyes and politely smiled in return. Forgive the sneeze. Ms. Dash had been in many a cramped area lately. Any time she stretched out a wing wrong she accidentally knocks off hats. Toute Suite set the table back up. She shuffled the cards back to their normal area.

Toute Suite's pressed lips twisted into a thoughtful frown, "So it seems. What did you find out exactly Fancy? Any news?"

"Only that I can never leave you two alone together sometimes," I concluded, "Other than that there is nothing around here or that I know of that proves evidences of Rainbow Dash's existence unless you try magic or confronting the princess a second time."

"I doubt that would help," Toot Suite cut in, "Princesses lead busy lives."

"Actually, if you'd pardon the drool Ms. Dash," I piped up.

I nipped the brochure hanging from the outer saddlebag pocket to nudge into her chest. Rainbow Dash spread the brochure out on the table. Posh Ponies shielded their eyes from the flashing cameras in over sized sunglasses. Paparazzi swarming back and forth like a sea of hungry sprites. The smallest photo had been a regal picture of our Princess of the Night. She was quite orderly in her militarized brass jacket hiding the silvery spots that spread up her legs towards her wings.

"She looks sort of like," Rainbow Dash shook her head wildly, "No I refuse to believe it. There is no way Princess Luna is Nightmare Moon at least not anymore."

"Oh I hate politics," I griped, "I mean while it is true Our Fair Luna has had split personality disorder symptoms. In reality it's just I don't know. The two of them? Mashed together?"

"Princess Celestia's soul was banished to the sun," Toute Suite clarified, her eyes closed deep in thought, "But her body and darker half was sealed down here."

"I remember that fairy tale," I stated, "Hands Christmas Cinderson is one of my favorite authors. Why according to legend Nightmare Moon took over Equestria! In that time Nightmare Moon was going to make the whole world be permanently nightfall, of course the Equestrian ponies rose up against Nightmare Moon and the whole ecosystem broke apart because no one was working together."

"Stick to the facts Fancy," Toute Suite snorted with a stomp, "The economy fell APART! Everypony when they get their special talents get it in their head that they know how the world works! Everyone else tried to run Equestria THIER way and They FAILED because Friendship and Teamwork is the only way the world works. Too much infighting and Nightmare Moon had to turn to Luna for help."

"I well," I gulped, "I like the Hands Christmas Cinderson version where everyone . . . agreed . . . and were happy."

"That's not the story I heard," Rainbow Dash snorted, "The Tale of the Two Sisters being forgive and forget. Friendship is Magic? Does any of this ring a bell at all."

"The Tale of The Two Sisters in our world is called Luna's Killer Deal," Toute Suite finished, "Technically with Celestia's body and soul divided between sealing. Luna got it in her thick head that fusing with Nightmare Moon was a grand idea. They're too brains in the same body."

"What about the breathing fire?" Rainbow Dash chimed.

"While Luna is the brains, Nightmare Moon is the brawn, she rebuilt Luna's body almost in her own image and while Moonlight is Luna's specialty it is still reflected sunlight. Nightmare Moon built a tank and let a pacifist take control," Toute Suite informed.

"Tootsie really!" I grumbled, "That is no way to talk about the princess."

"And how is not knowing about Nightmare Moon not a security threat!" Toute Suite growled.

Both Rainbow Dash and I bowed our heads. We found the floor look much more interesting up close than the other thoughts. One thing we could both agree on. Nightmare Moon's reign was only a glimpse but it was quite signifying in its own dangerous right. She was a vengeful mare with the broken heart of a little girl. It was easy to forget a force of nature when you love it despite what all love blinds.

"There is a party where we'll be meeting her," I exclaimed, rushing forward to hold up bowed heads. Offer a hug or two. The atmosphere is getting too thick, "Chin up and flutter on my fair friendlies. Those of you who don't want to meet the Princess, I'll talk to her. At least there will be free food. A chance to catch up with our boss Tootsie. The sooner we solve this the sooner we get back to working on the Daring Do Movie."

Two heads perked up in an instant.

"Free Food?" Toute Suite asked. She wiped the drool on one sleeve.

"We might have to dress up," I warned, "And please don't be sloppy."

Meanwhile Rainbow Dash's brain just shut down. Her eyes widened to compete with twin moons themselves. The star struck wide eyed gaze of a deer caught in the headlights. Oh I did give my two companions explicit instructions about what to expect. We were going to be shopping for dresses. Rainbow Dash twitched. I didn't know I set off a ticking time bomb. We were going to find out at the party.

". . . Daring Do . . ." Rainbow Dash murmured, " . . . movie . . ."

. . . Oh how I fear for whoever gets in her way.

"Why yes Ms. Dash," I stated, "A Daring Do movie and you'll get to meet the cast and crew in the flesh."

Author's Note:

I am going to save Rainbow Dash's Nerdy explosion for the next chapter. Please tell me what you think.