Pinkamina After Cupcakes

by SketchyGrl

Epilogue

“And you’re sure there is nothing here that might have set her off?” The doctor tried to control his anger as medics and orderlies worked to remove the girl’s body from the white room. There was a bright red stain on the ground; splotches of color in the pale room.

“Nothing, Doctor,” Nurse Redheart said, a bit anxiously. “All that was in here would have been the tray of food I gave her, like I usually do. Only-” she gasped, clasping one cupped hand around her mouth, wide eyes locked on the pink object lying harmlessly on the soft floor beside the metal tray of uneaten food. The Doctor wordlessly followed the woman’s gaze. At the sight of the object, he grabbed her wrist firmly, shaking her a bit.

“What the hell is that doing here?! Who brought it in here?!”

“I- I don’t know, doc-“

“Dammit! Pick it up!” He threw her wrist down, causing the nurse to fall onto her knees only inches from the figure. “We have a dead body to clean up, now.” And with that, the Doctor turned away from the nurse and led the rest of the personnel outside the room before letting the metal door clang shut. The nurse winced at the loud sound, then slowly picked up the object.

It was a toy; a plastic pink horse with bouncy mane and tail, small balloons painted on its flank, a pleasant smile carved into its face. She smiled sadly at it, a single tear rolling down her cheek. “I hope you’re sleeping safely, now… Pinkamina Diane Pie.”

Comments

[GuyFace]

Wow. Tragic. I... think it could've been done better but... okay.

[SketchyGrl]

370301 Really? You wanna write it? Go ahead.

Actually, no, don't. But seriously. It was a burst of raw inspiration, it's just a fanfic, and I'm not revising/editing it. What do YOU think I should have done?

[Bridgebrain]

You've got a few spacing issues in the epilogue.
I saw where you were going with it, but it was a good ending :)
You really captured the crazy conversation perfectly, though I'm sad we didn't get to see a "Diane" personality during it arguing.

[SketchyGrl]

370647 Yeah, I wanted people to forget about Diane, because Pinkie and Pinkamina were so overpowering until the stabbing. Ha, yeah, I fixed the spacing issue. And thank you for elaborating. Glad you enjoyed it.

[Bridgebrain]

Maybe make the line she says about stopping it from happening again be more obviously not pinkie or pikamina? "Her hair deflated and eyes focused sharply at the knife"
Oh, read Silent Ponyville the other day. I highly recommend it for more cupcakes pinkie fun :D

[SketchyGrl]

370691 Thanks. Also, in that line, I think I could change it from Pinkie Pie to "she" since that's how I refer to Diane all the time. The hair is unimportant by this point. Pinkamina and Diane both have deflated hair, and her hair never changes throughout her exchange with herself. That would be too ridiculous. :P But thanks for the suggestion.

[GuyFace]

370610 Hey, hey... calm down. I said that the ENDING was spontaneous. Everything else was fine. I would've just smoothed things out more. Give more detail 'er something.

[Bridgebrain]

Hmm, you're right about the hair, that would be ridiculous. Then again, it is Pinkie we're talking about... mostly :P
"She" would be a good move, yes. Just needs something to bring that one out. If I weren't reading carefully, I would have missed that line, and a big part of the point of the story along with it. In terms of fridge brilliance, it works perfectly as is, but not everyone picks up on fridge brilliance.

[SketchyGrl]

370727 Heh, yeah....

Um... what's "fridge brilliance?"

[SketchyGrl]

370726 ... Sorry, I'm not in a great mood.... Yeah, the ending was really hard because everything I wanted to happen happened, but I couldn't really make it smooth, like you said. I need to work on my beginnings and endings.

[Bridgebrain]

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FridgeBrilliance
I've now doomed you to a day of tvtropes. I take this burden upon myself

(Replace dislike with it not making full sense)

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FridgeLogic
For the reason it's called Fridge :)

[GuyFace]

370749 You okay? You can tell me. Uncle Guy will fix everything.

[SketchyGrl]

370762 Thanks, but it's just personal stuff.

[blazeice9967]

I actually found this very good. The only thing it was lacking was a bit in the detail department, but I liked it all the same.

[GuyFace]

370933 Okay, well that's fine. Just some advice, what's done is done. Whether good or bad, you can't change it. Just accept it as part of the great journey that we all call "Life".

[SketchyGrl]

371518 The epilogue lacks detail, but Chapter 7, I feel, had sufficient detail.

[Scully]

Interesting....<_<
>_>

[RikuHeartsLuna]

Holy damn. x . x. That was... Well... To put it simply...

That was bucking good. I loved it.

[SketchyGrl]

583134 Ha, thank you. I'm glad.

[SketchyGrl]

916197
Ha, thanks. Sorry about creeping you out.... Not! Haha, did you read the epilogue? It's pretty important....

[SketchyGrl]

1100245
Ha, um, thank you? ^_^; And yeah, sorry you can't post spoilers like that, dude.

[vannah_hex14]

oh my god i loved it

[Drifting Heart]

Now this how it should be done! she has a mental problem the cupcakes chronicles does that too. it works because it could happen to any of us. its rare for me to like any cupcake related story because alot of them are just revenge fics. this doesn't feel like a revenge fic at all.

[SketchyGrl]

2107316 I'm glad. ^_^ Yeah, I really love exploring psychosis. I had a fascination with Poe when I was growing up.... He influenced me a bit.

[SketchyGrl]

1846878 I'm glad!

[SketchyGrl]

2377008 Wasn't really trying for funny... but... OK?

[Rainbowcrash25]

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK???????

[Veo Skride]

Best story ever!

Kinda reminds me of myself!

[SketchyGrl]

2833214 Wow, thank you

[SketchyGrl]

2732195 That's the question, isn't it?

[SketchyGrl]

2732276 Glad you appreciated it :P