Celestial Truths
Twilight smiled as she kindly continued, "Now, Imagine the book floating, like a feather on the wind." His eyes strained shut as he exerted all of his mental effort into this stupid exercise. He had been here the last hour and began to feel his madness return from sheer lack of progress and her constantly soft demeanor. He was failing and he knew it! He wished she would stop being so nice about it.
As these thoughts occurred to him, his eyes shot open, glowing as all the books on the shelves came flying off, coming to the the ground with a massive crash. At first he was shocked but then a sense of grim satisfaction came to his face. That WAS one way of lifting the books. Twilight seemed frozen in horror, all of the books out of order, all of them now with some form of damage. Her eyes began to tear up.
Upon seeing this Shane rolled his eyes and said, "I'm sorry. Let me fix it." He began grabbing the books with his mouth and filling the middle shelf with them, not sure how to bend his body to lower shelves or twist his neck to place them upright on higher shelves. His own respect for literature caused him to be gentle, not licking them or biting too hard. It still felt weird using his mouth for his hand but it almost came natural to his body.
When he finished filling the middle shelf, he saw some of them start to glow and reorganize themselves on the shelf. He rolled his eyes, knowing he had to have messed up the order she had worked so hard for. It was then that Spike came in. He looked at Shane with awe. "An Alicorn? Is he the one I missed last night?"
Shane nodded, "I think we will need your help. I don't know what order she had these in and..."
It was here that Spike noticed the books. "Aw man! I just finished dusting these!" Shane seemed to shrug as best as he could. Spike sighed and began stacking books together and sliding them onto the shelf. He was amazed at the speed the two put the books back in. He looked at the order and noticed a bit of the filing pattern she had. Shane did the best he could to start trying to put them back, being occasionally corrected by Twilight's purple glow moving the books.
He really focused on it and noticed at one point one of the books was glowing and sliding into place elsewhere. It didn't look like Twilight but maybe that was a good thing. Perhaps another pony hopped in to help. He sighed, "This is going much faster with all of us vaguely knowing what to do." He felt a smile in the air, not even saw, but felt. He looked around after finishing his shelf and saw Twilight looked very full of herself. He sighed and asked, "What are you so pleased about, purple one?"
She laughed, "You are doing it and you don't even realize it."
He tilted his head, feeling a book smack into his head when he did so. He looked at her with a half glare, "Hey! What was that for?"
She giggled, "Why don't you ask yourself? You were the one that did it."
He looked confused but shook his head, wanting nothing more to do with this line of questioning. He went back to work on the books and it was then that he saw the unfamiliar glow again. turning to see it, he realized the glow matched the color of his own mane. He then with his mind called the book to hit him in the face, careful to avoid his horn so he didn't impale the book.
It hurt but was well deserved. He had begun to go native again and the thought didn't appeal to him. He had to stay focused. At a bare minimum, he had to get rid of either the horn or the wings. He really didn't like the status forced upon him by Celestia. It had to be her. She was the mastermind behind all of this and she was going to answer for it.
Twilight smiled as the task was complete, Rainbow Dash running in with an excited smile. "The festival is about to start! I heard the Wonderbolts were going to come this year."
Shane sighed, "You can only hope, Dash."
She gave him a snarky look and stuck her tongue out at him. Twilight sighed, "Can't you two be grown up?"
Shane shot her a very unentertained look. He really hoped that was his imagination and not being called immature by a purple pony with hair that would make most emo's cream their pants. It almost sickened him that she probably fueled many emos with that hair. Shaking his head, he asked, "How long until this festival I have been hearing about all day?"
Twilight smiled, "It will start in about a half hour. We should probably start looking for spells if you want to change your look before you see her."
Shane sighed and nodded, glad at at least the thought of being something less... arrogant. The last thing he wanted to be as far as this place was concerned was arrogant about it. He would rather find out why he was here and go home.
Twilight pulled out a book with her horn and started to explain, "Many of these spells are temporary, usually only lasting a short time or just changing your appearance to others. They usually don't last long enough to be of any use to anypony," He wanted to correct her right there but chose not to, "But in your case, I don't see the harm it could cause."
He chuckled, "Don't mispronounce anything or you might summon the undead."
He was referencing an old movie he had seen but was almost a bit frightened when Twilight laughed, "No, there is no way this spell could ever do that." He almost feared that perhaps such a spell did exist in Equestria. If it did, that could be very very bad. He knew that, knowing his luck, he would be the one to stumble across it if it existed.
Twilight began her chant and there was a flash. He didn't feel any different but Twilight told him clearly, "This should last as long as you don't make any sudden moves and you stay calm. If you can do both, it should last you until you can talk to Celestia."
There was a hint of sorrow in her voice so he asked, "What is up with you, Twi? You okay?"
She nodded and walked out, "You should go see Rarity. She would love to see you in her outfit I am sure." He didn't like the idea of getting into anything of Rarity's so he tried thinking of a way to stall. He then decided that he should go check himself in the mirror. When he did, he smiled. The horn and the wings were both gone. As far as anyone would know, he was just a normal pony. He knew it would make it harder to get close to Celestia but he was sure she would be looking for him anyway. He waited inside Twilight's house for the Festival to start. He was glad to be on his way out of this world, but to an extent, an excuse to let himself go mad was kind of refreshing. He might actually miss this place... not likely though.
He stepped out of the house just as Celestia arrived, having decided that a horn, though a sign of status he didn't want, would get him closer to her than being normal. As he did, Rarity pulled him into her boutique again. Before he could even process, he was put in what he could only describe as a white naval captain's uniform, pants included, with gold trim and without the hat. He almost felt like royalty... which irked him a bit given context.
Rarity laughed, "Now your embarrassing blank flank will cause you no more trouble."
He wanted to say something but was so close to leaving, he decided he would rather let it go. He turned to leave and said, "Thank you for the thought."
She called after him, "Your Welcome!"
He stepped out into a crowd who upon seeing his attire and horn, parted in his wake. He wasn't sure if they were in shock from the stupidity of his attire or respecting his 'status'. Celestia smiled as she came into his view. She motioned the crowd apart and said, "Allow him through. He will be the other competitor in this."
He spoke up, "I would rather not play anymore of YOUR games. I want answers and I want them now!"
She held up her hoof, "All will be explained in good time. If you win, you will be able to ask me about anything you wish and I will help you to the best of my ability."
He knew that here, her word was law. He also knew she wouldn't lie to him or mislead him. He sighed, knowing that he would have to jump through her final hoop. He nodded and defeatedly replied, "Sure, whatever. Let's just get this over with."
Celestia smiled kindly and called, "Trixie, are you ready?"
Trixie nodded with an evil grin. He could tell she thought he was one of Twilight's friends. That also meant however that she was going to be so hung up on humiliating him that he would have the upper hand.
Celestia pointed to a horse-shoe shaped obstacle course, the course mirrored on either side and the goal clearly in the middle. Celestia explained, "The rules are simple. You must clear this obstacle course. You may not skip any of the obstacles but you may clear them in any way you choose. The fastest pony wins. On your marks!"
He walked over to his starting point and as he did so, he heard Trixie laugh, "I, Trixie the Magnificent, shall see you humiliated, weakling."
He suppressed a smile and delivered dryly, "Oh, I am sorry. A hot air balloon must have gone by because all I heard was hot air."
She seemed more insulted at the low quality of the joke than the actual burn but she galloped to her spot, now more determined than ever to see him lose.
He readied himself, looking over the obstacles from here. There was those tires you needed to step between first, followed by a climbing wall, followed by a wall you had to knock over a mud pit, presumably by using the rope hanging over the miniature lake between the wall and the first part of the course. The final part seemed to be some form of egg carrying.
Celestia lowered her hoof as she called out, "Go!"
He began the instant she had started calling go, leaping nimbly between the tires, chuckling as Trixie was moving a bit slower than he was. It was then that one of his tires popped up on it's side and tripped him. He glared at Trixie who continued on the course, moving slowly but steadily and with a smile.
He eventually cleared the tires as Trixie finished the Climbing wall. As he did, he saw the rope he was supposed to use to swing across had been draped over the wall he was supposed to tackle over. It was here that his agitation broke the spell Twilight had cast. He NEEDED to talk to Celestia and come hell or high water, heck even if he had to kill Trixie, he was going to win this.
His wings appeared and Trixie's jaw hit the floor, her concentration breaking just enough for the egg she had just grabbed to fall and hit the ground. She looked at the shattered egg in a bit of fear. Shane Flew into the wall full force and knocked it over, though it didn't matter because he was allowing his mind to carry him along the course.
He landed next to the egg carrying station and carried it on the tip of his horn, as was part of the challenge. He could hear everyone cheering for him but found it odd out of the corner of his eye that Trixie was right next to the finish line with a smile on her face. What was she planning?
It wasn't until it was too late that he realized. The egg on his horn flew off and floated near Trixie. He was in shock at this, looking to Celestia for some form of ruling on this. She nodded to him reassuringly. Trixie balanced it on her horn and crossed the finish line. Shane dejectedly walked up to the goal. He didn't give Trixie eye contact or even acknowledge her. To be fair, Celestia did say that we could get through the obstacles however we chose. Who knew I was Trixie's obstacle?
Celestia flew to the goal and landed, she announced with a smile, "We have a wonderful tie." Both Trixie and him turned to her and shot her a look like she was mad. She continued, "I have never seen teamwork quite like this before. Trixie brought out the best in our friend and he not only gave her a reason to push herself, but also allowed her to use his egg to cross."
Shane wasn't one to argue. If this backwards place really wanted to let them both win, that was fine by him. As long as he got his time to question Celestia, he would have shared victory with Hitler. Realizing the illustration his mind came up with, he realized perhaps this place had caused more damage than he had realized.
She smiled at him, "Alright, I am sure you, being our visitor, have far more pressing questions than our local Trixie. Please, follow me and we can talk privately." She lead him into the woods. For some reason, he liked where this was going, if only because it lead home.
When they got to a clearing she stood there, waiting for his questions. He started, "Why did you bring me here?"
Her smile grew, "Your friend wished that you could understand our world here for what it is, so I thought I would help. Don't worry. Time passes differently in Equestria. When you leave, you will wake up in your bed, well rested."
He looked at her unentertained but continued, "Why did you make me an Alicorn?"
She laughed, "How else were you to understand everything in Ponyville? Pegasi can't cast spells and unicorns can't fly. Earth ponies can't do either so this was the only form I could give you." She looked thoughtful a moment and asked, "What would you like to be from now on when you visit?"
He growled, "What makes you think I will want to visit again?"
She smiled, "Because, you are starting to get it."
He kept his glare, "Get what?"
She giggled, "The point of this place. You have a strong mind and a great creative spark. This place is like a playground to you."
He closed his eyes and sighed, "If you ever NEED my help, need being a very key term, I wouldn't mind coming back. I would prefer a pegasus form but if you NEED, this being triply as important as the last time, you can make me an Alicorn again."
She still looked very happy and kind, "Any other questions or may I ask one of my own?"
He nodded, "I have one question left. Did you count on me losing my mind or was insanity just a mistake?"
She sighed, "I knew you wouldn't take well to the process. I mean, you were taken from your sleeping human form and put into a wakeful Alicorn form. I'll admit you dealt with the process very well."
He sighed, "Alright, ask your question so I can go home."
She smiled, "What is your final say about our world, my dear guest?"
He rolled his eyes, "There is nothing wrong with your world, per say, I guess. Living in it seems like it would be kinda fun if it weren't for the bright colors burning my corneas. It's just that as a fantasy realm goes, it feels too girly for guys to adore it. I guess to each his own but that is my opinion and that is alright too. We are all entitled to our opinions, I guess and just because I don't understand why other Males like it doesn't make it crap. It is still too cutsie but that is just me." It was then that, and He hoped he would never use this term again, a bright flash of light came out of his pants.
He lifted it up to see what he expected and made him want to ram his head into a tree. A cutie mark had appeared on his flank. It was old scales made of ice. Celestia laughed kindly, "From now on, here you will be called Cold Peace. I knew you would earn it." She touched him lightly with her horn.
He jolted awake, back in his bed, his alarm clock blaring in his ears. He turned off the alarm and looked around his room. It was all as he had left it. He placed his hand to his forehead. His temperature was normal. All of this seemed too simple... too easy... had any of that truly happened?
He felt something hanging around his neck that he had never put on before bed. He picked it up and looked at it wearily. It was a circular pendant with the cutie mark he had in the dream on it. A chill went up his spine and he pondered whether he should share his story. That is why I, AJ Cunningham, am writing this in his behalf. He is still not a brony, but he has no more wars to fight because there was no war.
It's times like this that, though cliche, I have to admit friendship does have it's own magic.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- FrontSevens · 22k words · 1,347 18 · 19k views
- BronyWriter · 110k words · 3,410 86 · 31k views
- GentlemanJ · 19k words · 928 18 · 12k views
- GentlemanJ · 14k words · 1,028 24 · 14k views
- Huk · 2.4k words · 869 20 · 15k views
- Minalkra · 133k words · 4,408 157 · 50k views
- JumpingShinyFrogs · 10k words · 1,273 38 · 17k views
- Yellowtail · 218k words · 1,918 63 · 26k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.074 seconds
Total duration
659 users online
669,715 hits today, 1,892,089 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
l.wigflip.com/L1zl4ypT/roflbot.jpg
Meh, the cover art said it all, it's another one of these awfull Gary Stu Alicorn OC stories, nothing original, same old bland clichés, plotholes and characters as usual.
EDIT : only positive point is the lenght of the chapters, it's long enough to allow you to describe things or build interractions and world. Too bad, the originality don't follow at all.
3546764
The point was not to be an Alicorn so much as an objective look at the universe from the perspective of someone who hated the series. It is more to be a fair analysis than an actual Gary Stu. If you read the whole thing you might have actually realized this as the character perpetually hates to be an Alicorn specifically because of judgements like this one. I don't mean to be rude but I do find your comment to be very very ironic given the entire purpose of the fic. ^_^
3546454
See my reply to Cat, again, the irony. You guys suck at paying attention to the character and overall reactions. Unless your sarcastic comment was meant for serious in which case, thank you... but since you answered in picture form I am thinking that this is more suitable.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaqC5FnvAEc
another chapter please?
3547697
Sadly, this story is over, but I plan on making another in the series. This is going to stay as is because it was an objective look at the series from a perspective I once held. I liked the character so much that I have been kicking around Ideas for a sequel for awhile.
3546990 if there's an alicorn OC in the picture then people won't read it, they'll automatically assume that it's a self insert Gary Stu and downvote it.
especially if it's the same OC as your avatar...
3550509
Wow... That's very close-minded. Is that one of those better safe than sorry things?
I'm not changing the cover. It has been that way since I first gave it a cover and I stand by it. Anypony who wants to assume I'm some idiot trying to be the best can bite me.
That being said, thanks for the heads up.
3550565
eh, i don't rightly know.
but, personally, i've had a bad experience with Alicorn OC fics.
also, you'd recieve a litteral fuck-ton of downvotes if your OC would have been black and red.
never use black and red in your colour schemes
3550574
I don't use red. Orange from time to time but only as an accent color. Look, I chose black because it's the color I most commonly wear and I am blonde. It just seemed to make sense.
3546990
3546997
You must be superior in mental faculties. Teach us, oh great one, about your faggotry.
3552698
Hmmmm, not sure if trolling because of low IQ or peer pressure.
3552738
Low IQ, eh? You certainly are one with the faglord.
3552746
Ah, I see the recycled Fag Insults are strong with this one. This requires a very well thought out reply....
Your mother is a faglord. Ah, yes, that shall suffice for someone of your towering intellect
3552759
Funny you should say I have a towering intellect when you are yourself trying to be better than everyone else, and saying they just don't understand you, because they're stupid. I'm just calling you what you are, which is a Faglord.
3552937
If you have been paying attention, I am just tired of people who can't give constructive, specific, criticism. Calling me a Faglord doesn't help anything and just makes me less likely to treat you with respect. It isn't based on anything other than insulting me. Try forming actual advice instead of assuming anyone that calls your intellect into question based on your comments is some form of bland stupid insult that you couldn't be bothered to come up with a better one.
Put simply, act like someone who actually cares about helping your fellow writers or you get treated as a troll. Trolls are lesser beings and will be treated as such. I have dealt with bulling of myself and a lot of people I know and I don't take kindly to it. Be constructive. It is a simple request. If you aren't, I will treat you like an idiot. I am sorry for being rude but it is true.
This fic is
s15.postimg.org/ns038fm4r/disgusting.jpg
and furthermore, you should
s27.postimg.org/59o8roo4v/Stop_Postingvon_Karma.gif
3555267
Hmmmmm... May I suggest that you try looking into the point of a fic as opposed to assuming that any story involving an alicorn is immediately flawed. If you can reply with the intention this fic had accurately then perhaps I will take you seriously. If not, shut the buck up.
*Trying not to assume all assholes are trolls*
3555533 dude, quit while you're ahead. i read this story, and i found it absolutely terrible, and the Alicorn OC adds a whole new level of awful to it.
3555993
You didn't answer the challenge. If you can then I will accept you as a sane person. If not, ST... BU.
3556063
I just roll my eyes at this point. I stopped roughly 5 years ago from posting things on boards that were too public because people believe their opinions make or break a world and that breaking down another instead of attempting to let them reach their level through helpful advice is the only way to express an opinion.
3556179 what challenge. you're just throwing red herrings at me. just recognise that this story is bad and learn from it
3556302
I asked you to post the point of this fic. That was my challenge. Meet it and I will know that you didn't ignore the entire point of this fic. If you didn't ignore the point, then your arguement will have merit. If you did, then your point is meaningless.
3556420 you know what, it's your own plan to be a petulant little child who lives in denial. fine
if you want to learn nothing. fine
just know this: you will recieve hatred by the boatload if you don't learn your mistakes here.
3556448
I am not denying this isn't a masterpiece. I am not trying to avoid growing. I am just sick of people bringing up the Alicorn OC without actually paying attention to the irony of that in context to the character himself. If you missed the point of the fic, that is your issue. I hammered it out as I went a long time ago and have grown much since. I left it as is because I feel the point made in the fic still stands.
I just wanted to confirm that unlike the judgemental assholes I have met on this site, you are being sincere but your dodging that challenge does not help your case. If you read it, I am not asking much to ask you what was the point of the fic is. It is a simple request, not a childish temper tantrum. I am being serious here and dodging my challenge does not lend anything to your argument.
I like the idea (Hate the ending) but pacing was to fast and cliches was everywhere. I can help you work on it if you want.
3556467
I think you mean "readers and reviewers who want better writing than this shitpile of a fic" rather than judgmental assholes.
6098002
In his defense, your grammar is lacking as well... Oh, and please, if you are going to rip something up one side and down the other, be more specific and strike at exactly why their writing doesn't work. It makes your stance far more dependable as you watch them cry.