Physics of MLP:FiM

by n

Interlude of Observance I

If you are still reading this, then it appears you are willing to discover the mysteries of the strange world of Equestria. I cannot observe Equestria directly. Instead, it seems as if this race of humans will provide the key to unlocking the truths which we seek. It is of great pleasure to me then, to say that I have discovered the main group that has provided the insights that you will find in my logs. They call themselves bronies, and seem to spout some friendship nonsense, in accord the the world, yet bicker and argue for some reason. They have produced a great deal of information it seems. There are vast archives of stories and musics dedicated to the world. Yet some of these documents appear to be fictitious in nature. Great care must be taken to avoid errors in the construction of the system of Equestria.

I suppose though that the bronies are not as bad as the rest of the humans. Humans in general appear to be violent in nature. They cannot help but to fight wars. Even during peace time it appears that humans require some threat of violence in order to avoid descending into utter depravity. They are quick to anger and seen to eagerly seek revenge. Of course, this is but a generalization. Not all humans are this way, but they are rare. I would advise against this course of action. Humans do use it as a sort of population control though. It seems as if they breed fairly rapidly, and would drain the planet of resources if the mindless killings did not occur. They are quite incapable of controlling themselves in this regard. For us, infant mortality and aging were enough.

I suppose also that you must be curious as to what I am and why I am doing this. I am an alien in your terms for I am the last of my kind. It has been a while since I have encountered sentient life. Humans are also amusing in many ways. For as quick as they are to violence, they are also quick to befriend each other and are quite kind when tended too. They are quite chaotic. It is always fun to see them interact, for they have the habit of surprising both me and each other. Much like the Pinkie Pie that I have found in the first document I have shown you. The document is quite specific, but I digress. We will come back to the topic of Equestria soon enough.

My diet consists of meat and plants. That would make me an omnivore, in human terms. I like music a lot, particularly what the humans call dubstep. The music throbs and pulses and feels alive. When I listen to it, sometimes I feel like I am not alone. This is perhaps the reason why I cannot bear to listen to some of what the humans call classical. Often times classical music can be quite depressing. I love to read as well. Humans seem to have a great collection of literature, which I have had the pleasure of perusing. However, the best way for you to comprehend my being would be through a story.

When I was young, I lived with my parents. It was an idyllic childhood which seems to be the ideal of humans. One day I encountered an animal of sorts. The human equivalent would be a squirrel. It ran up the tender vines that were natural to my planet. I, being young and rash, decided to climb the vines and play with the animal. Too young to understand why adults hated them so, I had the misfortune of touching it to gain its attention. To my shock, it bit me, hard. Tears welled to my eyes as the pain started to make itself apparent. My parents heard me screaming in pain and came out to see what was going on. When they saw the animal, their eyes widened, and I saw a hatred that scared me. I was shooed inside. They came back in after doing something and lectured me on the various deadly diseases that I could have contracted. This made me a bit angry, as I reasoned that I had as much chance of getting disease from my peers. Also, the animal seemed to have bitten me out of fright. I could forgive it for that reason. After the incident, I never saw the animal again. I can only assume that my parents forced the animal into starvation, or something much darker.

Yes, that was a short story. I think it reveals a lot about why I am here now. I have always loved to talk with people that are different, although I have learned not to approach as closely as I had when I was still naive. That is also why I have had a knack for language. It is this skill that allowed me to become a diplomat for the government of my country. It is why I have been sent to observe as well. When my world was facing the Calamity at the final moment, we were cast out to see if there were other worlds that we could inhabit peacefully. Earth was not one of those. This is a great fault of our people. We are content to wait until the perfect opportunity. Otherwise, I am quite sure we could have flourished on Earth. I am still amazed to this day that I was the only one to find such a world. Fate moves in mysterious ways, a human idiom, appears to hold true. I found the whole thing to be quite ironic when I had finished grieving for the loss of my friends and family.

But enough about the end of my world. Dwelling in the past does us no good, despite the lessons we may have missed. My race has learned this lesson personally. Instead, I hope that you can use these lessons to fix the present and guide the future. It is because of this wish that I hope you will continue reading my story. No one can know how deep the truths go, but I have hopes that you can carry my legacy and peel off the layers of truth, to find out where ancestors have taught us incorrectly. Maybe you feel like I am preaching to you, telling you things that you are wise enough to know already, or insulting what you believe to be true. If that is the case, then I wish that you record your truths, for I know that sooner or later, someone or even something will need it.

Comments

[Gmode]

"Discover how Equestria actually works."

Ehhhh, I'd rather not.

[Relevant Heavy Metal]

It Baffles The Mind - Priestess

[n]

441741

I could've honestly used latek and pasted a picture containing a dense amount of math.

It already baffles the mind????????????

I'm screwed aren't I

[GiddyOnUp]

Review Time!!!

Priceless!
Well as always, I'll start with some constructive critiscm. Just to get it out of the way.
1) Okay, I get this jist this is an ALIEN. So, naturally, they'll speak more intelligently. Despite this, a few of the vocabulary in here is just poor in the sense that it's too complicated. I get throwing in a few more advanced words, but this is just a tad too much.
2) I'd like to see a little more description. I know it's really hard to incorporate, but if you plan to do all of the ponies I think itd be funny, on Rainbow Dash especially, to comment on how peculiar their coloring is. Just a little something to add.

Yay, positive-ness!

1) I laughed so hard, you won't even believe it! It's usually hard to get a reader to actually LOL, even though they might type it. But you really made me laugh. Honestly! The whole concept is so frivolous, and the way you wrote it out makes it just that much better.
2) This is also very creative. I don't think I've ever heard of an idea like this. An alien observing Equestrian life, is just so amazingly unique! I have no idea how you came up with this idea, but you certainly got very creative and executed it beautifully.

So my overall rating?

4/5 Scoots!
I'd probably give you five if it weren't for... I don't know. The critiscm is one thing, but those are both futile reasons. I don't know what it is...I'll have to think a little longer. But I really liked this, a LOT! I have no idea why it isn't gaining more views.

GiddyOnUp

[n]

466703
It isn't getting more views because I haven't updated it that much. I'm going to say that I'm using my normal vocabulary for this too.