a beginner writer, had an idea for a story and i thought i'd share it and see what feedback i can get to get better in writing
Criticism is highly appreciated.
Night takes charge into his magic school in canterlot to show the other ponies by what they suspect him to be. The royal guard is called in to hunt him down and rescue a royal hostage that is waiting inside.
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Before reading, a couple pointers on your description as it is the hook that determines whether someone opens that first chapter. Make sure that it flows and is without grammar mistakes. Always read everything you write aloud, doing so helps you catch errors. It would read better as something like:
"When Night assaults his school, forcing it into a lockdown, the Royal Guard is called in to hunt him down and rescue a royal hostage."
Of course this is just one of many possibilities. Just remember that if your description has errors, the audience will suspect the story to have errors and may lose interest and never give it a chance. Also telling people it's your first fic is a double-edged sword and people may be dissuaded by it.
3490885 thanks for the tip I will definitely use your advice
Nice! Need that spec ops unit? I got several prepared.
Yay!