Twilight Sparkle never asked to be an alicorn and she never would have agreed had she known she would have to live forever even when her friends were allowed to continue on with their regular mortal lives. Now Twilight has to spend the rest of her days in Canterlot Castle without so much as a friend in the world. The worst part is today is the day she has to pay her respects to her friends graves, will she make it through the day?
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So... what do you call Cadence, Luna, and Celestia?
3485120 She was never as close to them, didn't have the same bonds or friendships. MAYBE she could have become closer to Cadence but for the purpose of the fic that never happened.
3485140
I wouldn't say she wasn't close to Celestia, and there is Spike since being a dragon he would have the longevity of the race. And with Cadence, they would bond over loss, Twi may have lost her friends, Cadence lost her husband
3485443 Ack you're right, Twi and Cadence would have had a lot of time to bond as well being immortal and all. Though I still have a hard time seeing Twilight and Celestia being able to have a very friendly relationship.
3485475
Especially with your take on the Ascension, which to tell you the truth is one of the big complaints with the story. Still I have said my peace and you haven't jump down my throat.
3485518 Yeah no problem, I didn't put as much thought in this one as I should have :/ and i can't expect everyone to think its amazing. Negative feedback is just as important as positive feedback lol.
3485551
Wish more writers were like you then, far too many take it as insult when you even try to correct minor grammar issues let alone saying you disagree with the whole thing.
Though I would suggest... think about the TwiDance angle without the angst over her ascension, that is something not too common.
I wish you luck in your writting
3485575 Thanks a lot! Also yeah I feel like i did make it more about her being upset about her alicorination when I wanted it to seem more like she was upset about the loss of her friends lol x3
Okay, I have some thoughts on this story:
1. Wall of text. The formatting should be better and your paragraphs need to be broken up a bit more. They're long and clunky as is and could definitely stand a round of scene and camera breaks.
2. As 3485120 noted, while Twi might hate Celestia for the ascension, I don't see her having the same hate towards Luna; for all she knows, Luna could be in the same boat (she did, after all, go Nightmare Moon on her sister). Furthermore, Cadance and Spike would be around as well - and they're family to her. And I think she'd even pity Discord for everything, so she'd see him as a prospective ally or at least a kindred soul.
Just my two bits.
3485652 Yeah I could have certainly formatted it far better, proper format and spelling aren't my strong suits. Usually I have someone go over something I wrote before I post but as of late no ones been too keen to be my editor xD hence the desperate cry for constructive criticism. Also on the issue of Spike I figured since ponies don't know much about dragons I never even thought to have him still kicking around, tho FIM is really good with their lore they probably do have longevity its just something that never occurred to me while I was writing.