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Chapter (Unknown)

Disclaimer: This is as close to a true event as I will ever get to from my true life so if you dislike it then you can just leave. (I’ll explain how a certain thing happened at the end) If you don’t like then well you can’t handle the painful truth about some people.

As I once again descended into the dream realm, I took notice that the atmosphere seemed to slow down and get heavy. ‘Strange..’ I think to myself. The area immediately around me started to morph into a something rather than just a large medium grey blob.

“Adrian…” Someone spoke out. Looking around to find the voice, I noticed that the individual was a few feet away from me. “Adrian, the office needs you.” ‘His tone..’

“For what?” I hear my past self say. Looking behind me, I see myself sitting with friends. There say Jim and Sarah on the other side of the table with the same look of confusion and worry that I had.

“They didn’t really say but your father is here to pick you and your brother up.” The monitor, Mr. Leves, said. Worried, my past-self got up from the table and proceeded to walk out the room. As I followed I could literally see all the thoughts that had been circling my head. One image I saw circle around that was faint was an image of my mother’s face.

As my past-self made his way down the hall I looked out the windows I passed. Noting that there was absolutely nothing outside the windows I turned back towards my past self.

“I wonder why I could have been called unless…” The past me instantly picked up the speed, and was now walking at least twice the speed. The only image swirling around my head was a corpse and a face of my mother. ‘Why do I always pick the worst case scenarios.’ I mentally mumbled.

Reaching the office my past self and I saw the brother, or at least the back of him, and our father. His face was that of sadness. At the door, I slowly opened it, and barely making a sound.

“He’s here” I hear one of the women say, and at that moment I was watching thorough my own eyes. At that they both turn towards me.

“Ok so we just need you to sign here and you can leave.” Said the other lady, who I had dubbed ‘Master of the check-in/out list’.

My father just nods and walks over, picking up the pen and then writes. I look to my brother hoping he might know what is going on but he just shakes his head, and shrugs.

“Come on you two.” My father speaks in a somewhat quiet tone. Turning to go I hear one of the women at the front desk say “I’m sorry”.
As we exit the school, we were all quiet, then dad pipes up, “They found your mother this morning..”

We looked at him confused.

“..She was found dead. Apparently she had taken some pills and drank some thing that caused the medicine to become highly lethal. She died in her sleep, at least.”

My brother and I just stopped. Everything stopped. There was no movement and no sound. At that moment, one of the people I had loved and been loved for my whole life suddenly die without me knowing probably hit strongly.

“W-w-what?” I hear Francis sputter out. “S-she can’t be dead. I mea..” I grabbed his shoulder. Looking at me, I could see tears start to form in his eyes. Then out of nowhere he hugs me and starts crying. I just stand there with a blank a face as anyone could muster up the pain that I held within me. I looked to my father and saw that he was holding back tears.

“We need to get going. Crying here will only create rumors.” I say in a slightly choked voice. My dad just nods and starts walking again.

“S-She can’t…” Francis whispers out.

“Shhhh..” I say. “.Sshhhhh…. Quiet now, brother. Save the tears for home where we can mourn for later.” I feel a slight nudging where is head is in contact with my chest. “Besides we need to be strong. We can’t let others see our weakness.”

-At home-

When we got home, Francis had practically ran to his room. I, on the other hand, was still fazed that Mother had died. The area surrounding me was just a blur. I get my school stuff put where it usually goes, and then preceded to my room. I could hear the crying of my brother and father in his room.

“How…Wh-W-Why?” I mutter as I sat on my bed. “Why did this have to happen.” Then I broke down. Keeping in mind that I was usually calm or happy, I never really cried much but now with nothing but happy memories that I had of my mother and myself when we went to the park, or the pool, or anywhere really. I was happy and all but the fact that her sudden passing made me look to what I had started just to try and become as good as her in her art.

“I started this hobby with you mom. You said that you could eventually help me learn how to paint better,” I say quietly while looking at the few models that I had. “..and you said you would help me get my artistic ..” I break off as I start to cry heavily. After what seemed to be hours I stopped and looked at what I had. “Y-You’d promised that….you would help me become just as good as you.”

-Knocking-

“Adrian?” My father spoke from the other side of the door. “Adrian, you ok?” I make a loud ‘Uh huh’ noise, and hear receding footsteps.

My thoughts go back to all the things that had happened, both good and bad. Especially when times seemed bleak for Francis and myself.

As those memories came up I felt myself get tired. Within 5 minutes I was out. Those dreams I vaguely remember but what I do remember is that was when the nightmares started. Then I was promptly ejected out of my body. Everything started to fade out, everything except for the body lying motionless on the bed. What seemed like a minute or two afterwards was in reality many hours later. I had woken up with tear-streaked eyes. I watched myself get up and just sit there. Not doing much. I looked towards the clock at saw that every second was a few minutes. ‘So I really just sat there for a few hours?’ I thought amazed.

-Knock-

“Son?” I heard my father call from the hallway.

“Yea?” I heard my other-self answer.

“Are you hungry?” I heard him ask.

“Not really.” Other Me responds. Again I hear receding footsteps. Not much happens, really, just a teen thinking and reminiscing about times long gone. Time goes by, and by the time my past-self actually does anything it is 5 PM the following day. Getting up, finally, I watch my other-self go to the kitchen to finally get something to eat.

As I followed myself into the I see things I had put out of my mind come back. ‘Why live without her?’,‘ There is no point anymore.’, ‘The pain is too great, I need a release.’, etc. Images of razor blades, knives, scissors, blood, a noose, a gun, anything that could help me get a release from this pain, then I remember how devastating MY death would be to the family. Not only losing a loved artist but an teenager just because he couldn’t bear the pain of loss, just in the end to kill himself to rejoin her.

Then what comes to mind is my mothers face, smiling and peaceful, while she stands on a boat going off into the sunset, waving at us for the last time. I snap out of the thoughts at a touch to my side and see Luna standing there with tears in her eyes, and a hoof on my shoulder. ‘She must have seen everything.’ I surmise. ‘And why is she much taller than she should be?’ Out of nowhere she hugs me so strongly that if it were my real body I would probably be handicapped. Whispers of “I’m so sorry for you,” and other stuff like that comes out of her mouth then I touch her neck.

“It’s all in the past now. There is no need to really cry for those long dead.” I say with a very dead tone. “Besides this probably isn’t over if I had to take a guess.” She looks up with slight surprise.

“What do you mean?” She asks. I break the hug.

“Here.” I respond as I reach out and root around for the funeral memories. “This is when we laid her to rest….Well…more like spread her ashes.”

“What?” She asked. Instead of speaking, I just pulled the memory of the lake house that we had. Family members and some neighbors had come by to pay final respects to the now few month deceased artist, who was so greatly loved by friends and family that her influence still lasts.

I am standing on the steps that lead straight up to the cottage. To either side of me stand blueberry and huckleberry bushes and behind me is my grandmother. As my grandmother hands me the back of ashes that were once my part of my mother, I look to everyone who had been considered part-time family, and wished that she could see this. I remove the bag from the other bag (Why bag-ception?) and prepare do dump the remains not onto myself.

“What is in that bag?” I hear Luna faintly ask. The memory stops as I turn to her, putting a finger to my lips. The memory resumes and as I spread the ashes, I feel a little bit of weight lift off my shoulders. Not much, but it is slightly noticeable. The memory fades again and this time we are in a parlor, one that I had dreamed of for events where I needed to think.

“What was in that bag and the other bag were the remains of my mother. To dwell on the past is something I do often, and do not like to do when even that happens.” I state rather deathly. I walk over to one of the large chairs with a Iron Cross affixed on it. I motion for Luna towards one of the large couches opposite my seat. I notice that she still as tears in her eyes but care naught for them for I have shed what I have wanted to.

“How can you be so relaxed about this?” She questioned.

“I have lived it once and have accepted what has happened. I have come to terms with what cannot be done and undone. It is merely Fate, playing with the strings of life,” I replied in my cold, hollow voice again.

“This will need to be brought up with Tia you know?” She said, wiping away a few tears from her eyes.

“I know and do not care for much. Just know that when you pop up into my head there will sometimes be pain.” I stated matter-of-factly. “And if you can’t truthfully handle it then just put up another barrier like last time.”

“I’m happy to say this wasn’t a nightmare so there is no need.” Luna replied.

“So if that is all for tonight…” I start

“I do want to say I am sorry for your loss. She must have been a great mother.”

“Yea….” I sigh, “..she was.”

And at that moment, the dream parlor faded and Luna disappears. There I am again, standing in the greyness. Alone

Author's Note:

The true event was my mother was out with a friend, she came home. Snapped. Took a lot of pills and ran off. She went missing, and found 2 days later on March 11th in a storage shed just a short ways away. She died alone, and probably cold. I was worse off than how I wrote this. I didn't really get out of bed at all. and that was only to go to the bathroom.

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