Mission One: Levitating Lesbians, Batman!
The harsh sunlight invading my eye’s personal space was a huge pain in the ass, “Turn off the sun!” I swung my arm over me to turn over but I just spun, ‘Wait spun?’ I opened my eyes just in time to see I was hanging from hot air balloon by a rope which had swung me straight into a treetop causing me to sputter and spit out leaves. I grabbed a thick limb and held on for dear life, “Hello?! Anyone out there?! I need some help!”
“What is it,” I heard a brash sounding voice that I couldn’t quite place where I knew it from. “Oh… it’s you.”
I craned my neck to find the owner of the voice and I spotted her; a rainbow maned pegasus standing on a cloud, “Hello there! Uh would you be so kind as to help me lower the balloon? I’m kind of in a predicament…”
“Sure, I suppose I can help you. If anything it’ll just boost my awesomeness; Rainbow Dash saves strange pervert monkey from a tree!”
“Pervert monkey?” I thought back to all the ponies I had met, “Hey, I thought I recognized you; you’re the one who emptied that raincloud on me,” my fingers started slipping, “W-whatever, I don’t care about that just help me!” I lost my grip and the balloon started carrying me away but then slowly started sinking until I was on solid ground, I untied the rope from my ankle that have a deep rope burn on it and kissed the ground several times before spitting out the dirt clumps, “Ahem, thank you Rainbow Dash. If you’re nearby then I must be back at Ponyville…”
“Not even close,” she pointed off into the distance over the massive gorge where a large cloud city floated in the sky, “You’re about twenty-seven miles north-west of Cloudsdale, what are you doing anyways? If you had kept going north like that you would have ended up in blizzard country.”
“I wish I knew...”
“What do you mean by that,” she asked as she tossed down a piton and a hammer and I started anchoring the balloon in place.
“Well the last thing I remember was Canterlot… and a party of some kind, I think there was booze,” I cringed as the throbbing in my head intensified, “Yep, definitely had booze involved. Hello, what’s this,” I reached down and grabbed the crumpled wad of parchment and opened it, “Sellsword Mission [C Class]- Collect a Sample: I’ve run out of ideas for my projects and I need some help. I’ve heard stories of a very peculiar type crystal in the region of the Galloping Gorge that can defy gravity. Fetch me a sample of this stone and bring it to Starlit Night in mare’s dorm 102 If you fail to collect a sample, come by the same room anyways. Reward is 1600 bits and a special thank you gift… Why the hell do I have this? I’ve just joined.”
“Sixteen hundred Bits!? Do you know how many tickets to the Wonderbolts I could buy that much money?!”
“None. I’m thankful you helped me out but this is apparently a Sellsword mission, are you a Sellsword?”
“Sellsword Smellsword, I don’t need to be part of their stupid group to rake in the dough.”
She continued talking but I tuned her out as a thought hit me like a brick; where were Ice and Ivy, “Ice?! Ivy?!” Rainbow Dash just stared at me if I was bonkers. “Have you seen anyone else besides me; a light blue Pegasus with a snowcloud cutiemark and a maroon Pegasus that has a pink-thorned ivy coil?”
“Nah, I’m the only one out here. I practicing my moves while Cloudsdale gets the next order of clouds out for Ponyville but they’ve said there will be a two day delay… So you mind I tag along with you for a bit?”
‘So I’m alone?’
“Eh…” I weighed my options of whether I should let her join me, “Alright but if anyone asks; you’re my squire or… something. I don’t know, make something up.”
“A squire?!” She yelled exasperated, “You want me to carry around your weapons and armor?!”
“Nah, I don’t have any weapons or armor. I’m a scholar.”
“Oh, you’re an egghead huh?” she flew up to the basket and looked in, “If you’re actually an egg head then why do you have weapons huh? What’s this, some sort of saddle bag?” she landed in the basket and I hear the clicking of my pack’s latch that I could recognize from anywhere.
“Hey! That’s my stuff, get out of there!” When she didn’t leave the basket I hobbled over to the rope and started climbing it as my head throbbed from being hung upside down and hungover for who knows how long, “I hate climbing ropes, reminds me of gym…” It was slow going with my hurt ankle but I reached the basket with little trouble, I peeked over the edge and saw Rainbow Dash reading the letter that I gave Shining Armor back in Baltimare.
“Documenting Equestria,” she said aloud as she got to that part of the letter.
“Hey! Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to snoop in other people’s stuff?!” My shout right next to her made her jump and her eyes narrowed before she tackled me over the edge of the basket, “Oh this is going to hurt!” I hit the ground and Rainbow Dash landed right on top of me, “Ooh, my ribs.”
“That’s the least you deserve for lying to me, you spy,” she shouted in my face then held the letter out in her hoof, “This letter says-“
“I know what the damn letter says; I’ve read it, Captain of the royal guard has read it, and Celestia knows about it when he read it to her. So will you kindly get off my ribs!” With a flap of her wings the weight was gone and she sat next to me while I was in a semi-fetal position as I hugged my chest, “I’m starting to regret letting you tag along…” I sat up and snatched the letter from her hoof, “Give me that, freaking ponies and just going to other people’s belongings…”
“Sorry,” she said as she looked genuinely apologetic, “I mean how cool would it be to actually fight hoof to hoof with an actual spy?!”
“I accept your apology… Now what do you say we go find these crystals,” I had difficulty Shifting to Makarov’s arms through the hangover but I slowly managed it and used their superior strength to pull the balloon down to the ground. I looked around the basket; the metal Bo staff was leaning against the basket, the short sword that was previously a spear head laid on the floor, my pack was there as well as a crate labeled as ‘marooned supplies’, “No idea what that’s about. ‘Hello Makarov, I don’t suppose you can tell me how I got here?’
’I’m sorry my king, Covet believes it best you not find out until after you return to Canterlot where the other members can tell you. Something about ‘lawlz’.’
‘I take it that he’s still mad at me about what I said,’ I asked Makarov and his silence said everything.
“What’s wrong with your arms,” I heard Rainbow dash shout but I had no idea how she missed me Shifting them but she must have.
“Nothing’s wrong with them, as of late this is natural for me… think of it like magic.” Gripping the handle of the blade with one claw and taking the staff in the other one which I used to pick up a coil of rope. ‘Hey Makarov, do you know anyway to make the grip on this sword fit more comfortably?’
’I have one idea but I don’t know if your current mix of human and dragon muscles is strong enough to do it.’
‘Just try it,’ after he got the go ahead I felt my muscles tense as he tried squeezing the handle as hard as he could but it did little good. ‘Try more dragon muscle.’ My arm grew even more and a webbing grew from my arm to my ribs, this seemed to be the right ration because the metal molded easily to the large claw that had almost taken up the 9 inch long handle. He released control then my old arms returned but my right arm felt like it was asleep and I couldn’t move it causing the sword to fall from my grasp. “Well that’s new,” I looked at Rainbow Dash who was switching her gaze from me to my arms to the clawprint in the metal then back to me. “What?”
“That is so awesome,” she shouted as she raised her hooves to the air as she jumped up, “Those looked like dragon scales… but you’re not a dragon. How did you do that?”
“Let’s just go with I’m part dragon… and part a whole lot of other stuff,” I mumbled the last bit to myself as I rubbed my shoulder to try to get the feeling to come back.
“And you were at Twilight’s… she let you leave? There’s no way, she’s the biggest egghead I know; she would have murdered you with questions… Wait a minute…” Once again she was in my face, “You ditched a Pinkie party… Not cool, Pinkie takes her parties very seriously.”
“Who’s Pinkie?” I made a list of every pony I had made contact with in Ponyville in my head, “I met Twilight, Spike, Fluttershy, Lyra, Berry, the lovely Innkeeper who kicked me out… Oh and I met Applejack and her little sister. Nope… didn’t meet a Pinkie.” She just gave me this look, “What? Come on and let’s get down to the bottom of this gorge.”
“How are you going to get down there? Because if you think I’m flying your flank down there you got another thing coming bub.” With that she dived into the gorge, leaving me on the ledge where I peeled my purple vest off, wrapped the sword with it and lashed it to the pole with part of the rope like a hobo stick, sprouted Makarov’s wings and jumped off as well. The look on Rainbow Dash’s face was priceless when she saw me gliding down with my massive wingspan. “The look on your face is great, haven’t you ever seen a dragon’s wings? Those fuckers must have wingspans at least a hundred feet across.”
“I’ve seen a dragon before, on a mountain near Ponyville, we had to go kick it out so it would cover the sky in smoke,” She replied while her hooves touched down at the bottom of the gorge first. “I ended up bucking it in the face but that only aggravated it into coming out of its cave. You should have seen the hoard that thing stashed up there.”
I flapped my wings a couple of times to decrease my speed and land, “Wait you actually evicted a dragon? …Did it leave its hoard behind?” The thought of a huge pile of treasure just sitting in a mountain cave boggled my mind and made my mouth drool.
’It would be highly unlikely, my king. I told you before that a dragon depends on his hoard for food and for some dragons… they use it to puff themselves up to gain more treasure. Do not fall into greed like the others of my kind; a dragon’s greed is a dangerous thing.’
‘Maybe you’re right Makarov, best to just forget about it. What would I do with that much treasure anyways?’
’A wise decision…’
“Actually that’s a good question; I don’t really remember seeing the dragon carrying anything as he flew off.” Her eyes lit up as well, “Do you think there could still be treasure in there?”
“It would be highly unlikely,” I said, copying what Makarov had told me. “Let’s just try and find one of these crystals and get out of here and back to Canterlot.”
“Who knows, this whole thing might just be a bust. I grew up in Cloudsdale and I never heard of floating crystals,” Dash thought out loud as she jumped from boulder to ledge as we followed the gorge north. “The only thing that floats around here is Cloudsdale and hot air balloons.”
“Maybe…”
’If I may suggest, try searching for a cave entrance; if it leads down then we should be able to find large deposits… I’m not sure if the same goes for crystals though.’
“Hey Dash, keep an eye out for a cave opening. The crystals might be subterranean.”
“Subter-what? Geez you are an egghead, why can’t eggheads talk like everypony else.”
I growled under my breath, “For one I’m not a pony…”
“Found one! We’re just lucky this isn’t the gorge by Ponyville or these caves would be filled with Quarray-Eels,” she called out of the cave before poking her head out, “You might want to lose those wings, it gets pretty tight in this hole.”
’…Did you interpret that the same way I did?’ There was a sharp pain in my mouth as two of my teeth turning into fangs and I heard Covet’s voice but it sounded tinny, ’I heard it as well! I know what to do that her tight hole… Bow chicka bow wow. No I’m not going to stop it, shut up. I’m still mad at you, Shin! With a slicking sound my teeth returned and it was just me and the dragon with a slight taste of blood in my mouth.
Dash must have took my silence for exactly what was going through our heads, “I didn’t mean it like that! J-just lose the wings.”
“Might be a good call,” Imagined them smaller and smaller until they were gone, leaving me there shirtless with signs of sun burning present on my scarred skin. “Alright then, let’s check out the cave then.”
***Five minutes later***
“Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope,” I screamed as I booked it out of the cave, when Dash and I reached outside I dropped my things, Shifted my arms to Makarov’s, and then lifted a boulder large enough to block the hole. I turned to place it and saw the thing that would be haunting my nightmares for the next week; a four feet tall, twenty feet long with one hundred legs working in sync as it skittered towards us and gnashing it’s mandibles. I slammed it down in place effectively barricading it inside, “What is with this place and it’s love of huge fucking insects?!”
The centipede slammed against the boulder and almost pushed it out of the way and me along with it until Dash flew into it to help me, “Dude why are you blocking up the hole?! You’re part dragon, you can breathe fire on it!”
’I do not breath fire, I do breath lightning but I would not do it, the same thing that happened to your arm could happen again to your head; leaving you unconscious.
‘Then what should I do?!’
’You have weapons do you not? Fight it; we cannot always be there to fight your battles for you. I’m going to do this against my better judgment I believe this will be good for you my king.’
“What the hell you mean by that,” I said aloud at Makarov but noticed my arms turning back, “You got to be shitting me! Dash, prepare for a fight; I’m changing back.”
“What do you mean-“ then she saw my arms changing and it clicked, “On it!”
We launched off the boulder at the same time, she took to the skies while I dove for the sword. Gripping the freshly crushed hilt, I braced myself for when the insect slammed against the rock and moved it several feet so it could crawl out. It was free in seconds, gnashing his sharp looking mandibles while its antennae waved around until they froze in the direction I was facing and it charged me, “Oh fuck. How the hell do you fight a giant centipede?!” It chased me until I managed to dive past it and swung my sword at its back but it bounced off harmlessly. Dash must have seem my attack and dive-bomb it before dropping her hind legs down into a hoof-y spear; there was a reverberating thud but not much else.
“Buck, that thing’s shell is thick,” Dash shouted as she dodged the centipede’s bite.
“Wait… wait, wait, wait! That’s it!,” I shouted to her as an idea came to me then I chanced it by looking for overhanging ledges, “If we break enough of its legs on one side it’ll be forced to go in a circle and then we could crush it with a huge rock from above They should be weaker than the main body's shell!” She seemed to understand as she flew to one of its legs and delivered a solid left hook, which bent the leg at an odd angle. “That’s it! Now let’s lead it over here!” I switched my sword for the staff because bludgeoning the thing seemed to work, Dash kited it over to a particularly large overhang and I took to chance to smash a couple of legs with an overhead swing.
Insect-zilla roared in anger, an actual god-damned roar, “This suddenly seems like a bad id- Shit!” It whipped its head around faster than I could hope to move and it seized me in its jaw from the right side, I could feel as the teeth inside started biting me causing me to scream in pain. I punched it in the face to no avail, I heard Dash call out and looked up to see the Pegasus breaking the large rock overhead. I looked the monster bug in its black eyes and said through gritted teeth, “I see you’re introducing your teeth to my arm so let me introduce you to my boot.” The look it gave seemed as if it knew what was coming before the stone crushed it with a sickening crunch, the only part that survived was the large head and two sections of its body that had locked its jaw into me before its death.
“Shin are you alright,” Dash had landed on the ‘boot’ and gave the head a curious look, “Doesn’t that hurt?”
“Incredibly…” I pulled one of the pincers that was buried in my right arm with a squelching sound but it did not move but a couple of centimeters before clamping back down, “That doesn’t sound good… I’m pretty certain my body is never supposed to make that sound. Do you mind flying up to the balloon and seeing if there’s a medical kit in the basket?” She simply took off to go find one but I knew there wasn’t one in there, I bent down and grabbed my staff and slid it in between the jaws to use as a pry bar. It took a couple of times but the jaws finally gave away and fell to the ground onto its opened guts, “Well that’s fucking disgusting, hope it’s not venomous; I know there are centipedes that can kill people… or was that millipedes?”
“I got it, I got it! Don’t die on me,” heard Dash screaming as she flew at me incredibly fast carrying a massive medical chest.
“How did you even find that? Actually, better question; how did that even fit in the balloon,” I was laughing as she landed; picturing drunk me somehow hiding it in the corner thinking it was perfectly hidden which it must have been, I did not see it.
“I didn’t find it in the balloon; I found it under it with a note and a pink cupcake… That’s Pinkies signature but I don’t know how she got it out here or how she knew we needed it,” she said as she opened it and saw that it was filled with gauze, needles, stitching utensils, bottles of pain medicine, and several things I couldn’t place. “The note’s for you,” passing the note over I flipped the pink paper open and it exploded into glitter and confetti.
“What the…” I looked down at my now sparkling bloody body, “Dash, if I start acting emo and want to drink blood just fucking kill me…”
“What,” she asked stifling laughter with her hooves as she witnessed the sparkle bomb.
‘Of course she wouldn’t understand a Twilight reference.’
“Never mind,” I said as I began reading the letter.
Dear Shin, (I know that’s your name because Twilight told me!)
I’m sorry you missed your party, well actually it was for the Pegasus that was with you but as soon as I found out I decided to make it a double welcome to Ponyville party for the two of you but by the time it was ready Applejack and Twilight told me you had already left thirty minutes before I got there! I mean how could you just leave when there’s a party?! Anywhoozers, Next time you’re in Ponyville stop by Sugarcube Corner (It’s the big gingerbread house in case you didn’t know) Hope you enjoyed getting Glitter-bombed, consider it a prank for dodging my party planning skills. Hope the med-kit comes in handy, I have them stashed all over Equestria in case of a med-kit emergency. Now please fold this closed and have Rainbow Dash read it.
‘Best just go along with it.’ I folded it closed and gave it back to Dash, “It’s from Pinkie, she wants you to read it when I was done.” She took it and opened it which exploded in glitter again right into her mouth, I grabbed it and looked it over, “How is that possible?! It was empty, things don’t just explode twice!”
“Bleah, Pinks.” Dash’s tongue was extended as far as she could get it and was trying to rub glitter off it with her hooves. “Tat’s nut cuul.”
I gave up on how Pinkie managed to make it explode twice and slid the large med-kit around and pulled out a packet that said wet-wipes and used them to clean the bite marks and surrounding area out. Once it was clean I saw it wasn’t as bad as I first thought; the only deep wounds were two puncture marks from the inner-jaws, I coated them as best I could in anti-biotic ointment, placed gauze over them, and taped it up with white medical tape. When I finished, Dash had somehow managed to clear her mouth but she still had specks of glitter in her mane that made it sparkle.
‘That’s a nice look for her, she looks pretty cute.’ I popped a couple of pain pills from a bottle in the chest, “Hopefully that’ll tone it down to a dull roar…”
“So what now,” Dash asked as she clamped the kit shut, “Want to call it quits? We might run into Celestia-knows-what down there again.”
“Let’s go back down Insect-zilla’s tunnel, nothing else should be down there, if there was anything down there it would have been food for this thing,” Eating the cupcake absentmindedly I went to slip my vest back on and recoil the rope. Putting my head and left arm through it then I took the staff in one hand and went back to the partially blocked tunnel.
“I think I’m going to stay above ground, I’ll fly up and down the gorge and see if there’s any more tunnels, yeah.”
“Are you scared,” I asked with light teasing in my voice.
“W-what?! Me, scared?! Psh, I could have taken that thing on my own in ten seconds flat,” her voice cracked slightly but it quickly turned back into arrogance.
“Sure, tell you what; feel free to search the gorge, I’m sure I’ll be fine.” I waved her off then slid into the crack before she could say anything, “Man is it dark in here… I wonder if I can change into anything that has night vision…” As I walked along slowly, tapping the metal staff like a blind man’s cane, I must have went past the spot that we came across the centipede because the tunnel started angling down. I imagined having the ability to see in the dark and having the change take place but it never did, ‘Are they blocking me from changing? Dick move guys…’
The staff sunk deeper than it did last time, indicating a hole, my eyes had adjusted slightly so I looked down and I could barely see a ledge dropping off for who knows how long. I was about to turn around when I saw something glint in the corner of my eye, there was light down there, I put my back to the wall and followed the ledge as it spiraled down and the light got brighter. Reaching the bottom of the cave I saw a small pool of what must have been water and another tunnel where I saw the light coming from. Following the tunnel it emptied out into a dim room; looking around I saw floating stones that varied in size and how many round crystals were embedded in them.
“They’re beautiful,” I reached out and grabbed the smallest ones, that had only one crystal in them, that were close to the ground while the bigger ones floated towards the ceiling. “This is amazing; I wonder how they float- Ow!” As I spoke, the little stone zapped me causing me to drop it in surprise. “What the fuck?!” I clench my fist a couple of times, three fingers were numb but I could still move them. “You’re like some kind of stun stone… I took the rope from around me chest, made a shoddy lasso, and looped it around one of the medium sized rocks. “Well job completed then, let’s get back topside.” With the light the stone was giving off, I could see a couple of feet as I made my way up the incline with my sample floating lazily behind me.
The trip topside was even faster since I could actually see shit, up ahead I could see the sliver of light of the entrance. “Hey Dash,” I shouted out to the Pegasus, not knowing if she was still there. I shimmied out of the tunnel but the stone wouldn’t fit, “Fan-friggin-tastic…”
“Hey Shin! I couldn’t find any other tunnels. Just caves that didn’t go very deep,” Dash said as she hovered next to me.
“It’s cool, Dash, I found what we’re looking for,” I said, tugging on the rope.
“Wow so there actually are stones that float? Oh wait until Twilight hears that I help find floating stones; she’s going to be so jealous!”
“Mhmm, now help me move this rock?”
“Why don’t you just turn into a dragon and do it yourself?”
“Well why don’t you just get your prismatic rear end and get over here, help me move this, and actually take part in extracting it since you wouldn’t go back down the tunnels,” I shouted while I tried pushing the stone myself.
“Fine, no need to get all huffy,” putting up her hooves in surrender before flying over and pulled while I pushed. Slowly but surely the stone was moved enough to remove the floating stone, as I pulled the floating stone it suddenly gained height until it pulled the rope taunt out Rainbow’s eyes got big –which is saying something, these ponies have huge eyes to begin with!- “It’s huge!”
“Nah, this is one of the medium sized ones. Don’t touch it though.”
“Why,” she asked as she held her hoof out to touch it but I grabbed it before she could.
“Because I touch one of the smallest ones and it zapped me, my hand is still a little numb,” I released her hoof and she back-winged a bit so she backed away from it. “Glad to see you pieced it together.” Walking over to where I left the giant centipede head I searched the area for my sword but I couldn’t find it or the med-kit, “Hey Dash, where’s my sword and the kit?”
“I flew them up and put them in the basket, so are we going to go collect the reward now,” Dash asked and I swear I heard a cash register opening.
“Don’t you have clouds to take care of or something,” I asked her as I wrapped the middle of the rope around my chest and the end of it around the centipede’s mandible but when I picked it up the insides poured out onto my slipper. ‘That’s just fucking gross but I better take this just in case, even if it’s not then it’ll make for a kickass story.’ The lift the stone was generating was enough to let me easily climb up the sheer wall.
“Yeah I mean sure but I can always ask them for a stand end, I’ll just tell them something came up,” she followed me up the wall until we reached the top, “Besides, the cut I’ll get from this is a month’s paycheck of bucking clouds!”
“Fine, we’ll stop by this Cloudsdale place, you’ll tell them you need a stand-in, and you can push the balloon to Canterlot,” I untied the rope from my chest and retied it to the low flying balloon then jump inside with my things and Pinkie’s kit.
“Push?!”
“Yeah push, what, I thought you were a strong flyer Dash. At least that’s what everyone says anyway.” I gave her a smirk, ‘Not that I’ve actually heard anything but I don’t want to be out here longer than I have to.’
“I’ve got a better idea; there’s a flying chariot taxi service in Cloudsdale and they have chariots going to and from Canterlot all the time,” she offered as she tried to weasel out of doing her share of the work.
“Sorry but I don’t know who’s balloon this is so I have to return it but that does give me an idea though; push the basket to Cloudsdale and I’ll fill you in,” she had a mental conflict before yanking up the piton and started pushing the balloon to the cloud city.
“Here we are Shin, welcome to Cloudsdale!” It was a little after noon and Dash pushed us close to one of the Cloud buildings, “Hey Watercolors, you on duty? I’ve got a grounder here for you to work your magic on!”
“Dashie?!” A tan unicorn with a wet rainbow mane ran out of the build then jump off the clouds where Dash caught her in a hug. “Vat ara you doing unz Cloudsdale?”
“I was here for a storm shipment but something better came up and I need to talk to Inclement to get a replacement for a couple of day. That’s beside the point,” Dash set the unicorn down on solid cloud, “My friend here needs one of your specialties cast on him.”
“C-cast,” I asked suddenly nervous since the last spell cast on me paralyzed me from the neck down.
Dash must have seen my apprehensive look, “Oh get over it you big baby, it’s just a cloud walking spell, perfectly harmless.”
“Dhat iz unless da spell runs out, sending you plumtizing to your death,” the unicorn chirped way to happily for such a morbid thought.
“Can you cast it on anything? Does it have to be living,” I asked as an idea came to me.
“No, I suppose I could cast it und an item,” I slipped off my slippers and held them up and she cast the spell on them but not before gagging at the sight of them.
“Yeah sorry about that, got a little giant centipede guts all over it,” As I apologized I tested one of the slippers by dropping it on the cloud and it stayed, “Good job, Watercolors was it?” I slipped them on and hopped out of the basket, careful not to touch the stone.
“It was mein pleasure, uny friend of Dashie uz mein friend as vell.” We said our thanks and left the unicorn to return to her shower.
“So, why are you scared of spells huh?”
“I was paralyzed from the neck down and thrown in jail… Kind of leaves a sour taste in my mouth,” I led the balloon along the road until it hit a split rainbow bridge that looked at least decently solid.
“Alright, I guess that’s a pretty good reason,” she cleared her throat before pointing a hoof, “the taxi service is on the right bridge. I’m heading to the factory to break the news to my boss. When you get to the taxi station, it’ll be a warehouse with black and yellow wings over the entrance, ask for a griffin called Tezel and negotiate a price. I’ll meet you there as soon as I’m done with my end.” She flapped her wings and took off, leaving me holding a massive balloon that I could barely keep down. As soon as she was out of sight, I bounced up and down on the clouds and giggled to myself, “Haha. Bouncy.”
***
I banged my fist against the desk but it did nothing other than make my hand hurt, “Damn what is this thing made of; Mahogany?”
“Sky Iron Wood actually,” Tezel replied, unfazed by my change in mood.
“Forget about that, what do you mean I can’t just rent a chariot puller to pull a balloon back to Canterlot? If anything, it will be lighter than hauling a freaking metal chariot.”
“Because then they will be balloon pullers instead of taxi pullers,” She stated matter-of-factly, I’m sure the boys would be willing to pull your shoddy balloon all the way to Canterlot… for double the fare.”
“Double?!” I looked at the board with the prices painted on them, it listed a team of two pegasi pulling a chariot to Canterlot would cost thirty Bits, “Sixty Bits, for a one way trip? Haha. No, you tell the ‘boys’ that I’ll pay the normal fare and if they can get me to Canterlot before or around sunset I’ll tip them 30% each.”
“Fine but only because you twisted my wing, Hotshot and... Flourish! Got an assignment for you; you’ll be pulling a balloon to Canterlot and before you complain he’ll tip you thirty percent if you get him there before or around sunset.”
An orange stallion and a peach mare walked past the office and simply nodded before going outside where I had hitched the balloon. I pulled my coin purse out and placed thirty Bits on the counter, “Thirty Bits, I’ll tip the pullers once I reach Canterlot.”
She took each Bit and bit it, guess she thought it wasn’t real, “Fine, now get out of here.”
‘Grump…’ I left the office and found the stallion attaching something to the balloon so they could pull it while the mare, Flourish, was hovering to touch the stone before I shouted out to her, “Don’t touch that!” She flinch and pulled her hoof back, “Sorry, forgot to warn you not to touch anything, if you touch the stone it generates electricity- erm lightning.”
“S-sorry,” the poor mare stuttered while looking sheepish then strapped herself into the balloon beside Hotshot who was snickering at her, “W-w-when do you plan on leaving?”
“As soon as Dash shows up,” I crawled into the basket when I saw Dash flying straight at us, “Speak of the devil, here she is.”
Dash came to a sudden stop mere inches from me, huffing and puffing, “Hey Shin, I got someone to take my shift so let’s-“
“Is that Rainbow Crash? You’re traveling with the flying disaster?” Hotshot guffawed and Flourish bowed her head apologetically to Dash.
“Hey! I’m paying you to haul a balloon, not dis my friend.” I chose that instant to pull the rope with the centipede head out from below the cloud layer, the rough winds had done its job and the insides were emptied leaving a hollow shell, which I placed, in the basket. ”Alright, chop chop. I’ve got some writing to do so you just take us to Canterlot. You riding or flying Dash?”
“I’ll fly, my wings aren’t broken.” I simply nodded as Dash released the balloon, I took out a pencil and the book Tanya had chosen for me to write the Tome in and started writing as we made our way back to Canterlot;
Pegasus Pony
Singular: Pegasus
Plural: Pegasi
Height Range: 2’ 9” to 3’ 8”
Weight Range: Unknown (Possibly a poor question to ask in a society that is predominately female.)
Skills: Master of weather manipulation, cloud walking, flight, and varying degrees of ranged and melee combat.
Children of the skies, Pegasi are gifted with the ability of flight. Pegasi relish in their air found freedom and a large portion of them never set foot on solid ground. Pegasi are very impulsive and in a constant state of flux, keeping nothing the same save for friends. Because of this, I’m sure many see the Pegasi as nothing more than chasers of fancy and ponies prone to changing sides at a moment’s notice. In charge of the weather services, Pegasi are the only ponies that are able to control the weather, building complex factories, and cities high in the clouds, out of the reach of the other races.
Physical Description: Pegasus Ponies are of the approximate size of Earth Ponies, but of leaner build. All Pegasi have a pair of wings growing out of their backs, from which they get their name. The Coats of Pegasus ponies tends to be dark, with brown and grey being the most common colors, and blues and white being the next most conventional. The manes of Pegasi can vary wildly, from a simple brown or black to a whole rainbow of colors on a single Pegasus.
Society: Most Pegasi live amongst the clouds in large cities built right into the floating masses. Thanks to the Pegasi’s ability to walk on fog and vapor, they are able to construct nearly anything on top of clouds. Living miles in the sky, it is to be assumed that all Pegasi learn to fly at an early age, and those that don’t are often found taking residence in Earth Pony Settlements. Pegasi tend to find work in the weather business as a cloud chaser or rainmaker while a select few have the flying talent to become stunt persormers. Those that do are held upon in the highest esteem, as to become a flying master seems to be the highest honor a Pegasus can obtain.
Personal Notes: If you find yourself the chance and honor to go to a Pegasus city, I suggest finding a Unicorn pony that can cast the spell I have dubbed; Cloud Hopper on you. If you are wary of spells being cast on you as I am, feel free to have them cast it on something you wear on your hooves, feet, paws, or other such appendages since the spell also works on inanimate objects. Also note; Pegasi have a good relationship with Griffons so tread lightly, they seem to have a short fuse and can be quite greedy.
The Pegasi duo had made excellent time, Canterlot was growing larger by the second and I could clearly make out the marble training ground surrounded by many different types of buildings, “There, land near that marble square.”
“But that’s a Sellsword location,” Hotshot shouted as if he were shouting over the wind rushing past him but we could hear everyone fine.
“Yeah and? Just land close enough so I can do something dramatic and awesome before I find the idiot that tied me to the balloon while I was drunk and sent my ass on a mission!”
“W-w-what, you’re a S-s-sellsword,” the mare, Flourish, asked as they flew us around a spired building. “What’s it like?”
“I couldn’t tell ya, I was barely initiated before I got sucked into this bullshit,” I huffed as I took a look at the wound under the bandage, “Yech, hey dash; are centipede bites supposed to turn orange and leak puss?” She flapped over to take a look at it and gagged a little, “I’ll take that as a no… I wonder if Sellswords have medical people.”
With the help of Dash, the other two managed to get the balloon low enough to tie to an anchoring stone and I jumped out of the basket onto a table. When the others saw me they just burst out laughing. “What’s the hell’s so funny,” I shouted at them, “Go on, tell me, I love a good joke. Perhaps the punchline was waking up hanging upside down over a gorge?” That got more of them snickering again, “Assholes… You’re just lucky I found what the mission was asking for.” That silenced them instantly, “Dash, the rope if you please?”
“Sure thing,” Dash undid the rope with her teeth, minding not to touch it and passed it to me.
I pulled on the rope until the other end came tumbling out of the basket, “Also is there any way to get this bad boy mounted? Had to break its legs and drop a ton of rock on it to kill it.” I jumped off the table and walked over to Double Stakes who heard me shouting from inside one of the buildings.
“Ah Shinza, it is good to have you back,” he choked back a laugh, “How did the mission go? It was the one with a special reward no?”
“It was alright,” I jerked my head at the floating stone which caused him to do a double take and held out the giant bug’s head, “Had to fight a fucking monster of a centipede but-“
“That- that can’t be… floating crystals and a Century-pede. I’ve never seen one of this size before… Campanula would love to have this, hopefully its poison sacs are still intact,” he took the head from me and inspected it.
“Don’t get your hopes up, it bit me before it died. He can have it if he wants, I was just going to mount the bastard on the wall but I don’t have a mount… or a wall. Anyways the bite has turned orange and is leaking puss, I’ll get it check out after I get paid. I’ll pay you two when I get back,” I said to the two Pegasi who were unhitching themselves from the basket. “Come on Dash.”
“Right…” Dash was looking around the area at all the different species and buildings before shaking her head and took off when she saw me walking out into Canterlot with everyone laughing as soon as they thought I was out of earshot.
***Sellsword Hall***
“W-w-why are you laughing at him? Isn’t he a Sellsword like you, it’s not very nice,” Flourish stammered as she looked at all the mouths filled with sharp looking teeth.
“My dear it’s not a matter of being nice, we live in a world where we sometimes have to take a life or possibly give ours up,” a grey speckled cat said as he walked up to her, “We take our comedy where we can get it and that one just took a mission that’ll make him the butt of everyone’s jokes for some time.”
“Why’s that,” Hotshot asking as he butted into the conversation, “He said he found what the mission called for; the floating crystals. I’ve never even hear of such a thing.”
“That’s because there’s no such thing,” Double Stakes Said as he gave the exoskeleton to a passing Diamond Dog, “Take that to Monkshood would you my friend? Try not to eat it.” The dog nodded and ran off in the direction of several greenhouses.
“But there is,” the pair said at the same time, “we just saw him carrying it off.”
“Aye we did but that’s not floating crystals but rather they are eggs. You see around this time every year we get that mission in and the first couple of times anyone took the mission… well, they weren’t expecting the special reward to be so… special. Even if they failed the mission she would pay them and give them the reward,” Double paused as if to insinuate something but they didn’t catch it, “Young ponies these days I swear denser than rocks.”
***Mare’s Dorm Room 102***
Raising a fist; I banged on the door and a mare’s voice called out, “Who is it?”
“My name’s Shin, I’m with the Sellswords about your mission.”
“My mission? Oh yes, come right in dear,” she called from somewhere towards the back rooms.
Dash and I shared a look before I turned the knob and we entered, looking around the room hurt my eyes and nose; bright contrasting colors everywhere, hot pink walls, and a sickly sweet smell lingered in the air that I couldn’t place. “I just got a bad feeling…”
“I can probably help with that,” the mare’s husky sounding voice spoke behind us as there was a clicking noise as the lock turned over.
“Maybe, are you Nightlit? I found your floating crystals,” I turned as I was talking and saw the mare in question; she had on what I could only call the pony equivalent of lingerie and a saddle. “So… um, we’ll take our bits and be on our way.”
“Of course darling,” Her eyes were sparkling at mention of the crystal and payment, “I have the Bits right here.” She went over to a dresser and pulled out eight bags of Bits and gave them to me. I separated them evenly, I was originally going to only give her thirty percent but I had a feeling I was about to owe her more. I gave four bags to Dash when Nightlit spoke, “Now for the special reward, how about I turn that bad feeling into a good feeling?” She turned around and winked, not with her eye…
“Nope!” I grabbed Dash around the waist and prepare to sacrifice her so I could escape.
“What are you doing,” she yelled indignantly as she tried wriggling out.
“Sorry but I’m sure once you’re finished you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me,” I then chucked her at the mare with surprising accuracy, causing Nightlit to moan as I ran for the open window and jumped out and leaving Dash and the stone in the room, “Thank whatever god that this is the first floor!” Thirty minutes later at a full sprint I reached the Hall and when I got there, the entire place exploded into laughter, I paid the two taxi Pegasi and shouted to the entire hall, “Fuck you guys! I’m lucky I had a sacrifice!” I had Double show me to where Ice and Ivy were lodging and stashed my belongings there and had him tell me why I found myself upside down hanging from a balloon. Turns out it started out as a prank, everyone knew the mission was fake and it was just a way for the mare to get laid every year during that special time the ponies have. The only thing drunk me heard was rare floating crystal and money so I took a balloon from a balloon rental place and sometime between here and there I passed out, tangled the rope around my ankle, and fell out of the damn thing. I thanked him before flopping down on one of the beds, forgetting the wound on my shoulder and falling asleep.
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Next MToE chapter will be delay for some bit, I'm hyped for the new Heroes: Reborn so I'm bingeing Heroes in anticipation.
What kind of eggs float? And don't say eggs 'lite' on the calories.
6464072
It is, I'm just world building a bit (or is it character building?) and I'm not the greatest at it. The cataloging creatures will happen, don't'chu worry yourself about that.
6464173
Haha no but that's a good one, wish I had thought of that. The reason why they float was explained towards the end by Double Stakes... or I'm thinking ahead of the published chapters and it's in the next one.
Edit: Okay, it wasn't explained per say, I hinted at what they were in the hopes that someone would come up with a theory about them. The explanation definitely is in the next chapter.
6464316 either way, you still get a like for an awesome story...and maybe for throwing Dash to the proverbial'Cougar' if you catch my drift. OK so its more for using Dash as a meat shield, heres looking forward to more Dash being used as bait moments, I find them hilarious.
6464635
Glad I could entertain, I can't guarantee they'll be often but I do have some scenes like that planned. Also quick question; would you describe this as a Displaced story? I was curious as to what the Displaced stories were, so I checked out the group, turns out I've read a few stories that were part of it but didn't realize it.
To those readers who are concerned as to why this is on hiatus, don't worry it'll be back... probably, if you want explanations check out my latest blog post.