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Premonition

Rainbow Dash, has just had her most realistic dream ever.
But is it really a look into the future? Or was it just a really good dream?
What does it Mean when some pony else has a similar dream?

A one shot short story that may morph into a full blown adventure. At the moment I'm curious as to what people think of my writing style.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 5 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 5
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Purple Thunder

Purple Thunder #1 · Mar 26th, 2012 · · · Chapter 1 ·

Ooh, more please! I do like this idea a lot, even if it is a bit dark.

Whoovesian

Whoovesian #2 · Mar 26th, 2012 · · · Chapter 1 ·

Seems interesting. Tracking.

Though I'd recommend getting someone to proof-read or just doing it a bit more thoroughly yourself. There's a couple places where the i's aren't properly capitalized, for example.

SugarPesticide

SugarPesticide #3 · Mar 26th, 2012 · · · Chapter 1 ·

The concept is interesting, and there's truckloads of potential to go with it, but what I have to wonder is this: why are they dreaming in third person? It's odd that they would do so, especially considering that it's supposed to be a premonition of some kind.
And there are capitalization hiccups all over the place, though that doesn't detract too much from the imagery.

Pants

Pants #4 · Mar 26th, 2012 · · · Chapter 1 ·

368435
Thanks for pointing that out, it should be fixed now.

368466
I like to think some entity is showing them disturbing images in an effort to either warn them, or mess with them. Also if they experienced their dreams from their own perspectives, It would limit my already sparse knowledge of how to weave dream sequences. I'm no Device Heretic after all.

368392
Its meant to be a little on the dark side. Its also meant to have a little comedy too, which I failed at inserting this chapter.

Purple Thunder