Nature
The green-scaled python wasn’t any threat to Fluttershy. He was long enough that he could have coiled around Fluttershy three or four times if he ever had the inclination to do so, and it’s true, snakes like these have been known to eat ponies, from time to time, but it was rare. It only happened in particularly tragic, or negligent circumstances, and in Fluttershy’s case, not even the most ferocious beasts of the forest would ever dream of hurting her. Perhaps they sensed her kindness and love, and that’s why they would always be so calm and gentle around her.
Still, Fluttershy was afraid. She was used to dangerous beasts, but she wasn’t completely immune to them. She’s a pony, after all. She knows fear just like any other pony, she just hid it well.
The dry autumn leaves crunched under her hooves as she stepped toward the snake. It would be a few hours at least until sunset, but the trees on the sides of the clearing were tall, and they cast a long gloom over the leafy forest floor. It was cold out, but not cold enough for Fluttershy to need a jacket. The air was just crisp, signaling the arrival of the fall. Soon, Fluttershy would be sending some of her friends off to hibernate.
Getting nearly close enough to touch the snake, she leaned down, and held out a fore hoof limply. “Come on, it’s okay, big guy,” she said in her sweetest voice. She waited, perfectly still.
The snake might have repulsed any other pony, but Fluttershy didn’t pick and choose when it came to her love of nature. Her feelings went beyond an affection for cute and cuddly animals. It even went beyond animals themselves. She saw beauty in nature itself, even its ugly side had a kind of majesty, in Fluttershy’s eyes. Her love for animals wouldn’t be true love, if she didn’t accept them for everything that they are.
“Gosh, I don’t think I’ve ever seen an Equestrian emerald python quite as big as you before,” she complimented.
The snake decided to accept her invitation. Fluttershy twitched, only slightly, when he pressed his nose against her ankle. His movements were deceptively gradual and calming, but Fluttershy knew better. She knew precisely what this snake could do to his prey. If he chose to attack her, his leisurely movements would change into an explosive lunge faster than Fluttershy could blink.
She tilted her hoof and, very gradually, very carefully, ran her soft, furry ankle against the snake’s jaw. “There you go. Don’t worry. I won’t hurt you.”
A trapped breath escaped Fluttershy’s lips when the snake laid its body on her foreleg, and slithered close. The two creatures seemed to mirror each other’s mannerisms flawlessly. Their movements were gradual and graceful, like they both moved in slow motion. With time, more and more of the snake’s cold, smooth scales slid themselves up against Fluttershy, progressively wrapping her legs and neck in his bulky coils.
“Careful, you’re pretty heavy,” she reminded him politely.
The snake paused his movements abruptly at Fluttershy’s words, and turned to look at her. He lurched his large body, and coiled himself around her back and croup to distribute his weight against her more evenly.
“Oh, that feels much better. Thank you very much.” They met eyes. “I have lots of animal friends. Can we be friends too?”
Their cheeks touched, and the snake cuddled up tightly. His scarlet tongue flicked gently across Fluttershy’s jaw and muzzle, and he vibrated her neck with a loud, but unthreatening hiss. It tickled. The corners of Fluttershy’s mouth twitched weakly, trying to pull up into a smile, but she pulled away.
The snake blinked, then hung his head. He started to untangle himself from her.
“Oh no, no. Don’t go,” Fluttershy protested with a start. “Don’t worry. I like to hug. I’m very sorry. I’m just distracted right now.” Hesitantly, she drew back in to hug pressing her face into his smooth, cold neck.
Even though he was a simple creature, he had enough awareness to feel the teardrops running down his body, and to recognize what they mean. Something was bothering his new pegasus friend. He wormed his way out of the hug and drew back.
He tilted his head curiously, giving Fluttershy an inquisitive expression that seemed to ask her what was wrong.
“Don’t worry. It’s okay. I’m not angry at you,” Fluttershy insisted.
The snake tilted his head. His concerned expression had a hint of confusion in it now. Try as he might, the snake just couldn’t understand. He reached out with his nose, proffered tiny nuzzles against Fluttershy’s chin. With every one, he would draw back, and see if they were cheering Fluttershy up, and with each one, she only seemed more heartbroken.
Fluttershy choked up. “I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. Don’t be sad.”
The gentle nuzzles grew more distressed and nervous. There was a pained grimace on his new friend’s face, that was only getting more intense. He hissed with apprehension, and his long, heavy coils sloughed off of her body. What was happening? Had he done something wrong?
Fluttershy reached out across the snake’s body, drawing her hoof lower until she reached the large lump at the midsection. Her eyes drifted closed.
“Goodbye, Angel.”
She couldn’t contain her feelings anymore. The sound of her own words, now finally spoken, released all the pain that was building inside her. Her agonized expression clenched, and her teeth chattered. She sputtered out a tortured sob.
Confused and frightened, the snake hunkered down, and hung his head.
The trees and bushes rustled, and, with cautious steps, dozens of heartbroken animals emerged, and looked up at Fluttershy. Their ears were low and their eyes shaking with sympathetic tears. Several tiny paws reached out to gently touch at Fluttershy’s flank.
“I love you too. I love all of you. D-don’t worry. Don’t worry about me.”
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You actually did decide to do this then. Good on ya, mate.
3307786
Yep. Went for it.
I'm probably a god-damned horrible person for thinking this, but I'm actually glad the little runt is gone in this story. I never did like him at all.
Not so glad about Fluttershy's reaction though. That felt like a punch in the feels.
You're a terrible person for writing this. I HATE Angel with a passion, but you still gave me ALL the feels.
WHY!!!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!?
Ouch. Man, that totally got me in the feels even though I'm a huge Angel hater. Well done sir, enjoy a thumbs up and moustache
.
Did Angel get killed by the snake or die naturally and be fed to him rather then being cremated or buried?
Incomplete? Is there more of this? If so, I would love to see how you would continue this.
3308946
Whoops! It was always meant to be complete, I just forgot to mark it complete.
3308850
It's up to you, but here's a couple of hints:
You did a great job showing the love of Fluttershy toward her bunny and nature. Even though it gives her pain, she accepted it and kind to nature, which she can't change the fact of it. The more I think about the story, the more I want to cry
I just had a dark thought. Gummy, Winona, Opelescence, and Owlysius are all carnivores.
I wonder what the ponies feed them.
I was entirely wrong in my expecations for this story, and held to that mistaken notion right up until the story itself decided to reveal the truth to me. Not many stories can catch me out like that, and for a thousand worder, that is a commendable. I really enjoyed the experience. I really was expecting the snake to cozy up to her, right to the moment nature took its course (main course, in this instance), and I didn't even suspect the story was otherwise until it was doing so before my eyes.
There are strange slips of present and past tense, but they make up a little ground in being conistent, even adding a sort of skewed style of their own to the feel of the story, which worked kind of nicely when one suspects that what the character sees and what really is happening to be different.
I do note in hindsight there's very little by way of foreshadowing. Presuming that she knows and finds this python specifically for the reason of Angel, there is no suggestion in the narrative to allude to this beforehand. Foreshadowing, however, is not mandatory.
...unless there is, and I've missed it, and in such a case this 1k has fooled me twice.
Fluttershy's sorrow seems out of the blue until context neatly presents itself. And frankly, it's a much better, critical-hit sad than the 'a snake betrays her confidence and constricts Fluttershy' would be.
I quite approve of Fluttershy's perspective on all this. I don't know how many new-age/vegan/suburbanite/silly person I've had to argue this with in my own life (I love a good argument), but there's lots of them (all slightly frantic, I notice) and practically preaching "nature, Nature! NAAAAATUUUURE!!!!" as if all of that were 'good' and all artifice were 'bad'. I try to take time to remind these people that part of nature is eating the still warm entrails, and such goes immutably hand in hand with the cuddling and the fuzzies and all that stuff.
I'm sort of meandering away from reviewing there, my apolgies. Otherwise, constrictors are pretty awesome and, properly cared for, by and large docile, accepting creatures.
If I'm elected world
dictatorprime minister, I will mandate that every child will have access to hug a minimum 10ft+ constcitor, possibly even those banana coloured albino ones if we can get 'em, at least once in their lives. Seriously, that sort of thing is memorable.3332295
Oh, yeah
That's totally my budding genius, and not me not paying attention, or anything like that.
You're right, I went easy on the foreshadowing, and instead chose to get the reader thinking about the nature of deadly, predatory animals, by hinting about how threatening the creature is. I wanted to put a false question in the reader's mind, as an experiment, one that would give the reader the creeps in exactly the right way, but not actually foreshadow anything, and I seemed to have pulled it off in your case.
But, I did throw this line in that was a bit foreshadowy (although it could equally apply to the 'fluttershy gets eaten' theory).. this very important line that I reflected on even after I wrote it:
And apparently it got you thinking about it too :) So I seemed to have achieved my goals
Holy crapola. 
I actually planted seeds in the reader's mind 
Perhaps lightning will strike twice, and I'll be able to use this same stuff in a longer story.
Once again, I'm thoroughly delighted to see (and not just you) people receive my message and have it really make them sit and ponder something deep, and relate to it on an intellectual level, not just an emotional one. That's my number one goal, and I couldn't be happier :)
Also.. I haven't really mentioned this to anyone, and I don't think I ever overtly acknowledged it in any of my stories, but I guess it's bleeding through a bit in this one. I'm a hardcore libertarian, so I'm pretty much where you are, about nature.
Hm.. and actually, I suppose, now that I know my attempts were successful, I guess all I need to know is whether or not they were good. Might it have been better if I just directly foreshadowed and hinted, rather than sucker-punching the reader with feels?
3307838 You are not a horrible person. The bunny deserved it. Probably was kicking and screaming the whole way down too.
This perfectly reflects Fluttershy's personality. Despite it killing her pet, the Python was forgiven, which is something that is very believable.
Well now .3. that was feels.
Hesitantly, she drew back in to hug pressing her face into his smooth, cold neck. - Maybe into hug? Not sure about this one, kinda phrased weird =P
Huh, makes one wonder if animal predators can even realize that killing someone can cause pain not only to the prey... I know for a fact that even some meat-eating humans cannot or prefer not to.
5773962
Nah, 'drew in' is the verb, and the 'to' part is the start of a prepositional clause, so making it into a compound 'into' would not have been appropriate.
I suppose it's distractingly worded, though, and it should be rewritten. I'll leave it for now, though.