You seem to have javascript disabled, or your browser is failing to execute it properly. Much of Fimfiction's functionality requires javascript so we suggest you turn it on!

Twisting Fate of a Star

Curious Star was just an ordinary colt that lived in Ponyville, worked at the local post office and enjoys finding out a lot of new stuff mostly by reading books. But one day he has to deliver a mysterious package and his curiousity brings him into a lot of trouble he cant get out of the easy way.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 2 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 2
- Newest First
- Oldest First

Rotorix

Rotorix #1 · Oct 9th, 2013 · · · curious star ·

Oh, another very first story, let's hope I don't go blind in my other eye...

Well, that actually wasn't blinding bad. But still unpleasant, at the least.
Run-on sentences, a lot of telling, grammatical errors here and there, and kinda fast paced (or that's just me at least.)

All in all, not terrible, but improvements can be made.
Best of luck.

GhostNpc