* * *
The First Time You See Her
Part Six
Jeffrey C. Wells
www.scrivnarium.net
* * *
Another garden. Another princess. The exact same sky.
Night is falling over Canterlot Castle's impressive sculpture garden, and, as always, she herself is the sole reason it is doing so. Princess of the Sun, Long-Term Sublessor of the Moon, Voice of the Mountain, Princess Regnant of Equestria, Defender of Canterlot, et cetera, et cetera. A list of titles as long as your foreleg, but, in the end, only one truly matters: her name, Celestia Sol Invicta. Splendid and white and all forlorn, like a giant mopey wedding cake on four hooves.
She has been ushering forth the evening for so long now that she barely reacts to the drain of manipulating an astronomical object so cold, so pale, so lifeless, so foreign to her. It was never a role she desired; it is definitely not what her cutie mark is telling her. The sun gives back to Celestia. Even after the most recalcitrant of dawns, she can stand on her balcony and let the golden light of a job well done wash over her, let herself be born anew in its flame in the manner of her beloved pet phoenix.
Not so with the moon. The moon takes from her and gives nothing in return. Its shifting patterns of black and white ceased to be intriguing hundreds of years ago, and now it is nothing more than a dull, painful burden. Her horn aches every evening on the moving of it, and every night, she feels a fragment of herself trickle away.
It will not be long now.
Yes. Whatever the millennium might bring, it is, at the very least, close. Celestia is not unlike a marathon runner feeling her treacherous legs begin to cramp within sight of the finish line. Just twelve years left, twelve years out of a thousand. She can hardly believe that she's had the strength to endure nine whole centuries as the last mare standing of a once-proud tribe. There was a particularly dark time in the seven hundreds when she pondered letting herself dissolve into the fabric of Eohippus, just as Sterling had, just as Lily had. It would have been so easy for her to follow the rest of her tribe into oblivion.
Most of the rest of her tribe, that is. Some had chosen, or had been dealt, different fates. Poor luckless Ladybird and her innocent love-child Chrysalis, who survived the fall of Corazón in the south only to meet their end at the hooves of the dark usurper of some distant northern empire. Queen Arborvitae, her own mother, who became one with her beloved Tree and now spoke no more. And Luna—
—well. Best not think of Luna. Best not think of any of them, in fact. Best just sit here in the present, enjoying the tranquil beauty of her sculpture garden and communing with the one remaining creature in Equestria who could possibly be considered her peer.
Me.
Oh, I'm sorry. Did you really think this was going to be one of those "third-pony omniscient" narratives?
Oopsie.
I envision you sitting there, fidgeting, with a perplexed expression on your face. "Wait, now," you are doubtless saying to yourself. "If Sir Narrator isn't actually omniscient, how can he presume to tell me what's going on in old Sun-Butt's head?"
The answer is simple, you adorable little scamp. Firstly, I do happen to be a little bit omniscient. Secondly, and even more important than that, she tells me everything. I am the only sapient being to whom she opens up, because I can never, ever spill her secrets. It's not that I wouldn't like to. It's that I simply cannot, because I am a lump of inert, petrified matter, frozen in the middle of a laugh I no longer feel. Celestia and I have certainly had our differences in the past, but she talks to me; and what she doesn't say, I extrapolate. I know this mare. I know her well enough that I can hold entire conversations with her without her even being involved. I know her like no other pony in this big, wide world does.
But... you're not here to read about me. So let's just go back to pretending I am a simple narrator and watch Celestia for a bit. The Solar Princess has cleared her schedule for the day, kindly requesting her staff to not bother her unless it is quote-unquote "important." She has been standing here in the garden ever since the dawn, waiting for the Morningstar to rise. When it finally does, twelve hours late, she lets out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.
Cadance is on her way, and Celestia is—once again—all alone.
* * *
The first time Celestia saw Principessa Mi Amore di Abbazia Cadenza wandering the alicorn plane of Eohippus, the metaphorical ink of her cutie mark not yet even dry, Celestia did not actually see the younger princess at all. To the Sun Princess's eyes, Cadance's downy pink coat was one hundred percent midnight blue. Whether Celestia admitted it or not, Cadance was undoubtedly and without question a miniature Woona, a cosmic do-over, one last chance to get it right. She took the young princess under her wing, far away from the fortress full of earth ponies (and the one very bitter unicorn witch) who could not possibly understand the unique challenges involved in raising a foal of the alicorn tribe.
A few years later, Celestia realized that she herself did not understand these challenges either.
Celestia, who called herself "aunt," tried to be both sister and mother to the young princess alternately. To make certain that Mi Amore did not fall to pride and darkness as Luna had, she inculcated her with humility and acceptance, little realizing that this was like trying to extinguish a river by mistaking it for a fire and throwing water at it. Where Cadance needed ambition, she was taught endurance; where she needed decisiveness, she was taught restraint. What could have been a powerful and bright-burning alicorn heart was reduced to a muddy, smoldering caldera of waffling politeness and self-doubt completely bereft of agency, and all the while Celestia stood helplessly by, unable to understand what had gone wrong.
It was almost a relief to Celestia when the acts of adolescent rebellion started showing up, culminating just last month in Cadance's reckless flight north to the Crystal Mountains, and that was when Celestia finally realized how seriously she had cocked it up. Cadance was not Luna. Nor was she the promised Champion of Friendship who was to hold back Luna's darkness come the millennium. Cadance was Cadance, no more and no less, and just like every alicorn who had ever lived, she needed a thing to call her own...
* * *
...and she is wrenched back to the present by one of those "important" interruptions. Just as well. Let's watch as Celestia's meditations are thrown out of whack. It'll be fun; or at least, a tepid fun-like substitute, which is all I survive on nowadays.
Unfortunately for all of us, this interruption seems pretty justified. No hope of seeing those white feathers ruffle, no hope of seeing the Sun Princess struggle to plaster over her real, earthy, delicious irritation with a fabricated mask of distant joy. No, this really does seem to be a critical issue. It takes the form of a little green-maned pegasus courier, running Tartarus-for-leather as though on instruction to stop for no one and nopony. She carries a bag around her neck, which eventually is seen to contain a single scroll case marked with the seal of Canterlot's Household Regiments. Celestia bids the courier wait as she breaks the seal and reads the letter, fortunately suspending it in her aura at such an angle that I can join in. It's from a Master Sergeant Thunderous, and the subject of the letter is... of some interest to me.
Apparently, according to Princess Cadance's military retainer, the Princess is being tailed by a griffon matching the description of one Auric Turncoat, former pastry chef to the Griffoni Royal court and all-around rogue of the highest order. His "rap sheet" alarmingly features the word "regicide" in several places, and not all instances of the word are mitigated by an accompanying "attempted." Furthermore, the creature seems to have actually waited out several consecutive life sentences in Equestria after a direct physical assault on Celestia herself with a blunt object (a two-ton boulder, which—you have to admit—technically fits the description), emerging from the dungeons many years later none the worse for wear.
It's a mystery to all, except to Celestia and me. We are probably the only ones who remember the boulder incident. I, for one, found it hilarious. Wonderful job, Auric. At the time, it almost made me want to forgive you.
At any rate. In his letter, Thunderous (reasonably) concludes that Auric represents an obvious and immediate danger to Princess Cadance, and requests that a contubernium of Her Highness's finest be dispatched to either take care of the threat or at least bring the headstrong Princess of Love back under Canterlot's protection.
Celestia predictably reads the whole letter twice over, just to make certain she is not missing anything. She then denies Thunderous's request with an infuriatingly brief reply: "Auric Turncoat is of the least possible concern to us." It's beautiful. I wish I could see the sergeant's face when he reads it.
She then pens a somewhat more in-depth response to Lieutenant Armor for immediate delivery to the Equestrian embassy in Cloudsdale, which is less fun of her. For both letters, she uses my plinth as a makeshift writing-desk. This sort of thing gets a little humiliating. It makes me want to break free from this stone, snap my claws and give the Solar Princess the body of a big white honking goose for a day. It would do her so much good to have that damnable false dignity stripped away, at least for a little while. But alas, it is not to be, and I must content myself with imaginings.
Celestia seals the letters, then places them in the keeping of the courier and dispatches her. The pegasus is swiftly lost to the evening sky, and Celestia returns to gazing at the Morningstar.
Then she addresses me.
"One of yours, one of mine," she murmurs. "Cadance will be all right, won't she? Vassals of the both of us, watching over her?"
While Lieutenant Armor is most certainly "one of yours," I think, I'm somewhat less certain that Auric Turncoat is "one of mine."
Celestia smirks at me slightly, cocking her head. "'While Lieutenant Armor is most certainly "one of yours,"'" she says, mimicking my voice (and in doing so impressively mandating the use of double-imbedded quotation marks), "'I'm somewhat less certain that Auric Turncoat is "one of mine."'"
Let's be clear about this: there's no magic here. Celestia cannot hear me speak. Nopony can. She simply knows me well enough that she can hold entire conversations with me without my even being involved. She knows me like no other pony in this big, wide world does. I don't particularly like it when she accurately puts words in my mouth, because I used to pride myself on my unpredictability. Apparently, spending a heaping thousand years as a stone statue will chip away at your capacity for randomness. Who'd have thunk?
So here we are the both of us, alone together, dying a little each day, waiting on an end to our torments. Celestia has twelve years left. I don't know how many I have; it will largely depend on the outcome of Celestia's struggle, I think. For the moment, at least, we are kindred spirits. The difference is that, unlike me, Celestia doesn't have to be alone and bored.
In a moment, she will look up again at the Morningstar and understand this, and then she will decide to try something new. She will realize that she is a poor sister and an ever poorer mother, and that the only thing she does well at all is teach...
"The only thing I do well at all," she says, "is teach."
Bingo. There is no joy in the prediction, only a sense of dull conclusion.
"I don't need another of my tribe. I don't need a sister, or a daughter. I need a protégée." She feels elevated by this realization and then subsequently transfixed by the sight of Cadance's Morningstar glittering (inappropriately) in the night sky before her. The pieces begin to click into place. Surely this glimmering evening light, this twilight-sparkle, as it were, is the sign she's been waiting for, the metaphysical beacon that will guide her where all other divinations have failed.
She calls up the headmaster of her School for Gifted Unicorns and has him produce for her the Freshmare honor roll. The old stallion does so without hesitation, heedless of the hour. He knows that his liege is a capricious old nag, and that it is sometimes best to leave the questions to his students. When the books are opened for Celestia's perusal, her heart sings a bit as she sees the name right at the top of the Princess's List. Yes. Exactly right.
"Sunset Shimmer." Perfect. A perfect fit.
Celestia closes the book and dismisses the headmaster, her course at last clear. The Sun Princess has spent forty years trying to transform Cadance into something she is not, and has failed at every turn. There have been many joys in these years, of course, and tears as well. But always, beneath it all, that undercurrent of frustration.
The frustration is gone now. The coiled spring in her belly, tensed now for decades, at last relaxes. Cadance is finally free to be her own mare. After hundreds upon hundreds of years of diminishment, the alicorn tribe has finally grown by one.
It is a good feeling.
Celestia stands there, bathed in the light of the Morningstar, and in that moment, she sees Princess Cadance for the first time.
Check the front page right after my new story posts. What's this in the featurebox? Cheerilee's Thousand AND The First Time You See Her BOTH updated? Today is a good day.
Commence reading! This one first!
And still, she acts too soon, looking for ways to interpret the message when it was so simple, so clear.
And boy, does Celestia NEVER get it right the first time.
Nightmare Moon followed by Cadence, Sunset Shimmer followed by Twilight Sparkle.
Hmm, maybe if she got over Mirrorverse Sombra....
And that ladies and gentlemen, mares and gentle stalions, boys and girls, fillies and colts is why we don't go around looking for omens to try and make our decisions.
Gotta hand it to the Hun in the Sun, she was close, at least.
Oh, Celestia. It's just heartbreak after heartbreak, year after year.
It's a wonder she held on. At least there's a happy ending in the end.
Man, totally forgot about sunset for a minute there. Another lovely chapter. Tis only a tragedy that it must end so soon.
Also, wasn't Corazon one of Cold in Gardez's lost cities, the earth pony one if I recall?
4801801 Well.
Celestia would certainly blame herself for those, but should we?
It's an interesting question, but possibly a rhetorical one. On one hoof, nobody is responsible for the actions of another, outside of direct coercion. On the other hoof, when you can see the way your own influence changes someone, and link by link forge a chain that either exalts or damns them, even when they made each decision in full knowledge and of their own free will, it becomes difficult to separate what you have done from what they have done.
Synchronicity most peculiar! I chose arbitrarily to watch The Great Muppet Caper on Netflix, and not ten minutes ago, I looked at the FiMFic front page and noticed this story in the feature box. I had just enough time to think, "Hmm, 'The First Time You See Her', that's the name of a song from a movie..." when that very song began playing!
I guess that's a sign I should read it, eh what? :
You know, Celestia, when you said Nightmare Moon was going to come back in 1000 years, that was a statement of fact, not a prophecy. So when did you start believing?
Thank you for that. I'm going to use that line sometime in my life, even if I have to awkwardly cram it into conversation.
Skywriter, you magnificent bastard, even if this hadn't been a sneaky foreshadowing of this chapter's narrative voice it would have been a metaphor of the quality generally referred to as "bloody awesome."
Pitch-perfect Celestia and weary-stone-tamed-Discord. Everything starts to click into place. Last line turns the theme. This was excellent on many levels.
Okay, I think I'm now just addicted to horribly, tragically, pathetically—and I can't even think of a capstone adjective to finish that—you manage to make your Celestia. "Celestia stands there, bathed in the light of the Morningstar, and in that moment, she sees Princess Cadance for the first time." Forty years after they met? It's just so deliciously... I don't know. It goes down like a thorn bush yet I want to eat more of it.
Nice use of the Discord as the narrator. I like the way he screws with you without quite breaking the fourth wall. Or at least not unambiguously so.
4801811
Yes—you have to wait until a positively, absolutely, inconceivably, blatantly obvious one almost literally knocks you over the head with a piece of tower roof. Those, you ignore at your own peril!
img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130325041629/mlp/images/thumb/1/1b/Princess_Celestia_Spike_Twilight%27s_Power_S1E23.png/800px-Princess_Celestia_Spike_Twilight%27s_Power_S1E23.png
You… you… you absolute… YOU!
Discord was perfectly happy using the Standard Narrator Voice until you had him let the cat out of the bag! (Somebody should probably catch it, by the way, it's clawing up the good furniture.)
Ah, well. He does so enjoy a good prank, and I suppose it really was a victimless crime. The only damage done is to my poor Internal Narrator--he's been locked in his warm-up room this whole time, and the minibar doesn't exactly provide balanced meals.
Aaand I ended up reading the majority of that chapter in John DeLancie's voice.
Good job!
4802251
when I read that I thought of the time the Chicago river really caught fire. hasn't happened lately but used tobe annual event nearly a tourist attraction.
Haha, I'd totally forgotten ole Sunny there, too, even though the line about Freshmare enrollment should have been an obvious clue. I was all yeah... YEAH... YEAH?! "Sunset Shimmer. Perfect." *prat fall* WHAT?! Super loved the mopey wedding cake and double-imbedded quotation marks lines. XD Discord as narrator is just too perfect. Poor Sun-Butt.
I do love a well-written Discord, and this one is magnificent in his subdued resentment, getting his jollies whenever and however he can from what little havoc is wreaked in his vicinity. The mirrored relationship between him and Celestia was brilliantly done, enemies who have spent so much time together that they're very nearly friends... though, of course, neither one is going to actually use the term to describe the other.
The hints of the other alicorns were tantalizing, just the right amount of vagueness to be enjoyably frustrating.
And poor, fallible Tia. She tries, she really does, but even with centuries of experience, some things just don't come as naturally as handling her pet miasma of incandescent plasma. Still, a few tries, and she gets the hang of it, even if it's never quite what she expected.
Eagerly looking forward to more.
Ahh, Discord. Always my first choice in reliable narrators.
Regardless of that, there's some interesting bits of Alicorn history in there.
Ohhhhh, so close and yet so far.
WHY CAN I NOT LIKE THIS MORE THAN ONCE?
Brilliant, and very Discord-esque, shift from the sublime to the ridiculous.
From now on I will always refer to the crystal tree as "Arborvitae."
4808194
No, it's all good. Little inconsistencies do pop up as the narrative changes during the story's progression (it is becoming an increasingly-large mistake that Prince Blueblood is in the upcoming cast, and he may be written out, for instance). If this were a novel I would certainly be going back and amending to make it a more seamless whole, and I still might add a line based on your feedback here to make it mesh better. One of the things I'm learning about the "cycle" structure, though, is that that pesky psychological edit wall that likes to come down and close stories definitively lest I be consumed with obsessive-compulsive tinkering is causing me some trouble when the narrative keeps changing organically as I forge ahead.
Still, it's not closed for this story yet, so I can probably put a patch on the part you mention. Thanks!
4808194
Also, if you're lamenting the lack of good Cady, have you seen this one? YMMV, but I thought it was a nice stab at a post-"Crystal Heart Spell" canonical young Cadance.
4807868
I am delighted that the Tree of Harmony showed up. When plotting this story out, I was all like, okay, so, Celestia's mom, she's the alicorn of... trees? I guess? Only later did it become clear that she was in fact the alicorn of the Tree in this chronology.
4808687 I also really like how you set poor Celestia up for Sunset Shimmer. "Teaching Cadance humility didn't work, I'll make sure this new student is extremely self - confident and knows that she is special. There's no way this can go wrong!" Celestia is the teaching equivalent of the general who's always fighting the last war, isn't she?
4809559
Yes, this is exactly what I was going for. Furthermore, as detailed in "A Lot to Think About," as a reaction to failing with Sunny she returns to her vague non-helpful chessmistress mode when Twilight comes around, an act for which she is repeatedly tried by the court of this fandom. Poor Celly. She never can catch a break.
4810079 I do hope we see some Shimmer. Usually she's portrayed as an orphan, will we learn a bit about her family?
4810106
I think we need to man up and watch "Rainbow Rocks" to see if they drop anything.
She's not actually going to appear here, so I don't have to worry about any more Jossing.
4812902
Great! Thanks for calling me out on what didn't work! The piece is better for it.
4812902
Great! Thanks for calling me out on what didn't work! The piece is better for it.
That twilight-sparkle pun... I had to turn away for a minute, just to give my brain time to process the proper response. Then we have Sunset Shimmer instead: a swing and a miss.
Discord as narrator was delightful, as were all his quips. The cake and imbedded quotation marks were my favorites.
You're the best. No really. Someday I will find you, and shake your hand, and be totally awkward about it.
When I got to that oh so witty "Oopsie", I had to go back to the beginning and read the whole thing again so I could do so in his voice. This is an amazing role for Discord. Makes me wonder if he'll get a chance to see Cadence for the first time. (outside of that Three's A Crowd insanity)
I'm consistently astounded by how many poingiant moments you can pull out of fairly straightforward progressions of events. You had me enthralled by the end of the first paragraph, with that mopey wedding cake on four hooves similie. I really feel for Celly through her trials and mistakes, and damn if the ending name drop wasn't a surprise twist of the knife. Oh Discord. Ain't he a stinker? Talkin' about twilight-sparkles just to throw us off. What blatant abuse of omnicience. I guess I should have known, but oopsie, I guess I forget about that particular side story rather easily. Oh well. It's not over yet. Still one more spectacular failure to go.
"Spot the Auric" was particuarly easy in this chapter. Funny. I get the feeling this is producing backstory that isn't neccessarily going to see the light of day, as the chances of the precise nature of Discord and Auric's relationship becoming directly relevant to Cadence's story seem slim. Still, given that he's directly intervened in her life before, maybe she'll drag his story out of him at some point.
4827926
Thank you! Glad you liked.
4828089
I do wonder what statue!Discord thought when Celly dragged home a new pink little alicorn. Of all major and minor players, Cady seems to have had the least effect on him, but much like Celly, there's a certain amount of "second-chancing" going on, I think. I choose to believe that "Three's a Crowd" shows Discord haplessly and malignantly trying to connect with the new generation of royalty in the only screwed-up way he knows how. correct or not, he already deep-down feels like he's blown any chance of friendship with the elder alicorns.
4828130 and yet he's doing moderately well in the finale... I do love the spin you've got on Discord's relationship with Celestia, and the ""double quotation marks"" bit had me in stitches. Glad to see you back
4845842
Thanks! Glad you liked!
Well now here is an interesting turn of events.
Of course we don't know what Celestia actually plans and what just happens in Cannon but you do a great job in this story.
Thanks for writing it
Good luck.
4861173
Thank you. I need all the luck I can get!
4892669
What are the odds of that happening, right?
4964662
Good theory on the amulet, but the AA is elsewhere in this chronology before it ends up in Mr. Wing's shop. What is the agreed-upon fandom name for that pony, anyway!
4893803 - Nevermind Cadence's prediction of her one true love? A Shining Armor? Alicorns seem to have some sort of gift for prediction, even ponies which eventually become alicorns. Must be a shared trait.
Okay, I'm here. And I need to gloat a little, because
doesn't show up until like six sentences in. HaHA! You're slipping! Your amazing hooks are only showing up a few lines in, now.
Clearly, the power drain is almostI mean, oh wait, yeah, I stopped doing the nemesis thing, didn't I?Darn.
More seriously, though, there's just a pile of stuff to love here. You're right in your overall comments about this story—it's a hard sell, because not much happens. This chapter may only be 2500 words, but it'd still threaten to drag if it weren't for the bits of worldbuilding and some very nice turns of phrase. It still does drag a little, to be honest, but I think it's kind of unavoidable. I mean, you could go all Brandon Sanderson's "Reckoners" series and literally write everything as a drag-you-along emergency in the style of an action movie, but Cadance's story isn't a YA story. It needs some downtime, for the reader to dwell on it. Doesn't make for the easiest writing or the most fanfiction-friendly output, but it makes for a better story.
The bit at the end about taking a student is probably my favorite moment in this chapter, Discord or no. It's one of those things I just love in writing, and am too cavalier trying to toss into my own: the sudden twist from light, comedic narrative to foreshadowing/meta. The fact that the pupil winds up being Sunset Shimmer—which I think qualifies as bathos, and there's a word I need to practice using until I can get it right—falls a bit flat for me, but that's because I have so much affection for the foreshadowy side of things. The whole thing wouldn't really cohere well without it, but I want Twilight to be the Faithful Student, darn it!
Anyway, on to the next chapter, and hopefully I don't wear myself out before I can finish tonight.
One of very few successful puns of Twilight's name that I've seen, building up my expectations and them dashing them completely, compounding Celestia's internal conflict by going meta, and keeping it all tied nicely into cannon.
Only you could accomplish so much in so little words, Skywriter. I bow to your skill.
dat Sterling and Lily tho
I was thinking there was something off about this simile until you did the Thing. And what a thing it was!
I also have to say, I'm pleased to have some insight into Celestia as you've written her in this series, even if it comes from someone as (understandably) peeved at her as Prismia. Goddang the world-building in this story is just wonderful. That's a comment for last chapter, actually, and so is this one: I'm glad you're letting Cadence be a huge nerd, because she is. :D
Well! It took nearly half a year, but I finally caught up. All four chapters. Time flies when you're not reading, apparently.
There's not much I can say that hasn't already been said better in other comments, but it's worth saying. I loved all the world building, especially with the alicorns. I really enjoyed the idea of them being forbidden to rule, which given their track record (even in show) makes a lot of sense. I do wonder though what this means for Celestia, or Cadance or Luna--if anything will come of that commandment being broken for so long.
You know one of the secrets to great world building: names. They make all the difference, causing the world to feel so much more real. That being said, I'm wondering how much time you put into developing them? I'm sure some came easy and others didn't. And on that topic, what about all those Cloudsdale foods?? Man, my mouth was watering!
Auric is turning out to be a lot of fun. Seeing him when he was young and when he was old was intriguing. Despite the fact it was from a different perspective both times, which makes them harder to compare, he felt like both the same and yet a different person. I'm very interesting in seeing just how much of Ladybird he's projected onto Cadance and formed his expectations from, let alone the bitterness I'm strongly sensing. I also eagerly await an explanation for his apparent many acts of regicide over the years.
Great origin for Cadance's full name, by the way.
Loved your descriptions of Cloudsdale; you've envisioned it in a way I haven't seen before, and you make it sound far more real than it ever has so far. It's all the details you give, an earmark of your writing throughout this entire cycle, and it really makes an impact. It's not lazy writing, and by way of that it obviously takes a lot more work and time than you could otherwise accomplish it in, I'm sure. But I say the result is more than worth the effort, though perhaps that is not for me to judge. I'm sure the endeavor more than tries your patience, let alone your endurance. I wonder how much you've learned about yourself while writing Cadance of Cloudsdale.
Another aspect of your writing I find interesting is the touch of a formal, almost mechanical at times language. It's subtle, and I only really notice it during your first person pieces. So far I'm unsure whether it's more a result of your style or the personalities of the narrators or something else.
Admit it, you had fun writing that, didn't you?
Out of the last four chapters I'd have to say Celestia's was my favorite (big surprise). The unexpected perspective really caught me. It was very clever showing us Celestia from Discord's eyes. Melancholy Celestia is, from my experience at least, rather difficult to pull off properly without feeling either stilted or cliche, but I really think you succeeded. So give me more!
Overall great work, Skywriter (as usual). I know this story was meant to do many things, but above all I think, unless mistaken, that its core purpose was very simple: to teach us about this fascinating young alicorn by showing us the effect she's had on those around her--to give us a sense of what her life means by showing what it has meant to others. I'm not going to say you succeeded or didn't succeed yet, because this story--at least where it ends--is really more of a beginning, and I could certainly never contemplate its full meaning before finished. But as it stands, I firmly believe you're headed towards the goal. We've seen what happens "the first time you see her"; the important question now is, what happens to you after that? What is the ride she sweeps you off onto? How do things come to an end between you and her? That I'm very much looking forward to. You've put a lot of work into all of this, Skywriter, and while I know it's probably taken a greater toll than you anticipated (or wanted), and I don't know how far you've come with the next piece of it or your feelings regarding it, I really do believe that once the end of it comes, everything will click, the meaning will brand itself on our hearts with a burst of feeling in our guts, and all the time and effort will have been worth it.