What happens when you have a changeling Queen who rules nothing. A Human who resents ponies for treating him like a science project. And an unusual friendship that resulted in something unheard of in Equestria. Oh and a really weird story, no really.
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COME ON MAN! I CAME FOR TEH SEKS! YOU HAD ONE CHANCE, AND YOU FUCKED IT UP, DAMNIT!Lol, no worries. This was a very good chapter because it built upon the previous ones and is creating the basis for the real love to occur, so I'm sure us readers can wait one more chapter.
Dude, I'm enjoying this story too much to care if there's clop or not. Heck, you could write this whole thing and not put in a single sentence of the C, and I would gladly read it over and over again.
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Gimmie details!
I was really unsure before uploading this. I wasn't sure I was progressing things too fast or not.
So...details?
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The transition after they crash from Chrissy being normal (for her) to acting completely strange is a bit jarring. I get the whole "I felt teh luvz!" thing, but for her to suddenly shift into that mindset was a bit difficult to follow.
Similarly, the whole narrative by Chrissy in the first part of the chapter is also a bit hard to follow, with a couple sentences that seem deliberately misleading. Again, I get what you were going for with Chrissy's inner conflict and such, but it, again, is a bit jarring for the reader.
Overall, however, it was a good chapter, and an enjoyable read. I am looking forward to the next installment of this series, clop or no!
Big Mac's stamp of approval
3292199 Well, I like seeing Chrysalis' mindset changing, seeing how she develops the more time she spends with Richard. Imagining her flirting being unsuccessful both makes me smile at the idea of someone being able to resist her 'sexy flank', and sad that Richard is so oblivious, or is at least 'pretending' to be... either way, her lack of success with those methods is both funny and a little sad...
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I was trying to make it confusing, yet without actually making the reader go
"What?"
Not sure how that panned out. Chrissy is going through a bit of everything at the minute. She likes him a LOT, but she's becoming addicted in a rather obsessive fashion very quickly over those months.
I get what you're saying though. It's why I was unsure about uploading it or not.
You know something's wrong when you get confused whilst writing it
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>Sun Butt wants his special sauce, to bring back the ponies.
>Crissy wants his special sauce for the same reason.
What happens when He finds out? The whole "That was before, now I actually love you" story line is what I'm thinking.
Am I right? Or am I wronger than the church when they said the sun orbits the earth?
3292199 More! More everything!
I am going to be immensely sad when this story is finished
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Wait and see
I just want quality storytelling. A story is either good or bad. Sauciness alone does not make it good. Merely icing on the proverbial cake. If waiting for it will produce a better story then go right ahead and delay it. It'll make the end result all the more satisfying. After all if Chrissy is really having strong feelings for him and he feels the same, he's going to become a king. I want to see more of that before the other stuff comes.
Of course I'll still be wanting another chapter.
one of the best story's I've ever read.
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So...you likey?
im really loving this
It's okay to keep off the sex parts of the story for now, i'm patient with the way you're building Chrysalis & Richard relationship.
Also, good things always come in the end, i might not like much as now this story if you'd put sex scenes at the very beginning.
fim.413chan.net/art/src/132070114451-Gilda_and_then_they_.png
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Yep.
Since we all know it's coming I might as well get this out of my system:
Hail to King Richard! Lord of changelings!
Cute, sweet and funny. Best combination ever~
MOAR!
What the hell Zamairiac! Where's the fucking SEX!
I am VERY glad to read that this is not going to be the second to last chapter. As I am really enjoying this story, and would love to see it go as long as possible.
I can only say one thing. AAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. This story is so sweet. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
That title makes Chrysalis sound like a crackhead. And I'd betta get my sex next chapter, or else... I'll keep on waiting.
Well you might as well face it Chrissy, you're.....
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Don't get me wrong, I liked the chapter, and it wasn't so confusing that I couldn't figure it out after a second. I'm all for letting us know how conflicted Chrissy is right now, I'm just saying there are a few places where it leans a bit too far in that direction, where I as a reader had to pause for a moment and check if I had understood what you were saying. It could certainly benefit from a bit of extra clarification, but then again, nothing will ever be perfect. As is, it is thoroughly entertaining and held my interest throughout. My inner perfectionist just wants to point how it might be improved upon.
Please hold on a moment while I beat said perfectionist back into the corner where it belongs.
Carry on, good sir.
Is it wrong for me to say that this story makes makes me want to explode with joy cause this story is
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Dat Chapter
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/524142848/hDB0365FF/
mlponline.net/attachments/chrysalis-om-nom-nom-gif.5406/
When will Chrysalis reveal herself to Richie? during that promised sex scene hmm?
Oh, it's Good, Why is it Sooo Good?
Why does it tug at my Heart to read? Oh, that's right, it's fucking beautiful
I swear every time you use the word "feelers". I picture chrysalis with ant like antennas on her forehead... Anyone get this problem too?
You know, I just realized something. The infertility problem Equestria has is gonna affect the changelings as well.
Think about it; the changelings may not require the ponies entirely, but something like that is really going to stint their growth.
I say Chrssy should convince Richard to help. But not for a long while. He'd still be sore about that.
Chrissy better fess up soon, 'cause if Richie finds out on his own, I get the feeling this may be one of those "Bad End" break ups.
And you know, it's weird, but I honestly do wonder if Twilight started to feel anything, only for things to be ruined as she started to really fall for him...
Such a good story. Packed with emotions.
No, this is great. More depth and better feels. With means the next chapter will finally have Richard and hopefully Chrysalis having sex or it's going to be a shit storm of emotions where Chrysalis true form comes out.
I'm hoping for the former, but will probably get the later because you like drama in your story's.
That tension in the air... do you feel it? It is the atmosphere of true love building up... C'est belle (I don't know any French whatsoever)
If we had sex so soon in the story, I'd accuse you of rushing. It just doesn't warrant uglies being bumped without SERIOUS character and romance development.
I agree with almost everything that has been said so far. The way I see it, 90% of your readers continue to enjoy this story because of, well, the plot. If you want to add kinky horsebug sex later on, that's your decision. The story doesn't necessarily need it, but you won't screw it up either if you add the clop chapter. You're the author - it's your call. It'll turn out great either way.
Now personally I'd enjoy some more bashing of princesses ... don't really care which one since they're all equally terrible, but whatever you do... great yadayadayada.
Cheers
come for crys and human sex... stay for very good crys having a love crisis story. keep it up. even if you dont put sex in it. ill still read it ^_^
the cuteness is reaching over 9000!!!!!!
I felt like crying while reading this...I don't know why.
I like this fic
also Digital love by Daft Punk goes well with this chapter.
Good JOb i.imgur.com/uKL8tJg.gif
Feed me seymore..feed me more. in other words..write more so i can read more so i can have feels
I like that Richie treats his "arrangement" with Celestia like getting jury duty or going to jury duty or getting a prostate exam. It's gonna take a long time and it's gonna suck. I also like that there is a difference between what Chrysalis originally set out to do and what Celestia and Twilight are currently doing to Richie, with the latter using blackmail, deception and force and the former only using mild deception.
As for the rest of this chapter, it's very adorable.
You, are fucking AMAZING!!! Seriously. How in the hell do you write such awesome stuff? Keep it up man.
This story needs to be really long.
well, what now? will she give everything up to stay with him or reveal her true self and brace for the inevitable?
(Reply to authors note without reading comment) ya y'all just enjoy the tender moment
Man Richie in the beginning was as oblivious to Chrysalis's advances as a main male character in an anime.
Can we get some more DRAMA? Maybe an interaction with Twilight and Richie's NEW marefriend. I wonder if Twilight would be jealous, will she try to fight in getting Richard back.(did she have feelings for him? Does she STILL have feelings for him?) Can she handle the fact that someone doesn't want her.
"Who wouldn't want me as a marefriend? I'm nice, pretty, and smart. I mean I'm Celestia's Student for Celestia sakes. And I represent the most powerful Element of Harmony. Every stallion would be BEGGING to be my coltfriend!"
Thinking about it makes me grin.
My D'aww sensors are activated and picking up a signal.