Spiders & Computers

by Codes and Ponies

Prologue: End of Recovery

August 12, 2009...
Stable Island, New Yoke, Equestria, Equanus...

Cluster Writing Brain slumped his 18-year-old body onto his bed, trying to think about what had happened that afternoon. He had reunited with his third ex-fillyfriend. Said ex was a kitsune mare by the name of Alison Atalanta Alopex. 3 years and 1.5 months before, he had ended up being separated from her because of repair delays when the car broke down on what was supposed to be the last day of a weekend getaway that her family was doing in New Mexicolt the weekend before the end of the 2005-2006 high school year. They were stuck there for those 3 years, leaving Cluster to wonder what the Tartarus happened to them. However, while he was being reunited with her, he had just finished recovering from the rather sudden end of his most recent relationship.

That relationship was with a lake naiad/Earth Pony hybrid filly (They were adolescents at the time their relationship started, & adults at the time their relationship ended) named "Penelope Raiku Krauss". She ended up leaving due to moving to Hoople, North Dacolta for college. Since that relationship was the longest 1 he had by that point in his life, the end was rather... unexpected.

Over that summer, Brainy was also dealing with other unexpected changes to his life.

On the night of August 12, 2009, Writing's dream-scape was his personal vision of a peaceful park. He saw a rather attractive Neighponese Unicorn mare playing her guitar while sitting on a bench. He decided to play it cool as he walked up to her.

"Hello," he said as he sat next to her.
"Hey," said the mare as she put her guitar down.
Cluster noticed that this mare was rather tall, which made him rather nervous. He just decided to play it cool.

"I'm Cluster Writing Brain, but most of my friends call me 'Clue'", said the Earth Pony stallion as he extended out a forehoof for the purposes of a hoofshake.

"I'm Monica Tiffany Tensai. You can just call me 'Psi-Spider'", said the Unicorn mare as she shook Clue's hoof rather vigorously.

Some time later, they went to Psi-Spider's mental vision of her then-current house. As they chatted over iced tea, they discussed themselves. Later on, Psi-Spider took Cluster to her room & restrained him to her bed.

"What the Tartarus?!?" asked the confused Stallion.

The mare started morphing. A pair of Dragonfly wings grew out of her back. Her teeth became fangs. 6 extra legs grew out of her sides. Her pupils changed shape from circular to slits. "Prepare to get eaten, you lowlife sadistic cop-killer!" she screamed.

"W-What are you talking about?!? You've got the wrong pony!" screamed Cluster.

"Prove it", said Boom.

"Well, what does this thief's Cutie Mark look like?" asked Cluster.

"A bloody knife accompanied by a museum display setup," responded the mare.

"Well, mine's a laptop keyboard. See for yourself." Cluster showed Boom his cutie mark as he said this.

Psi-Spider conducted a spell to make sure that Cutie Mark wasn't a disguise. After confirming such, she apologized for the mix-up.

"What are you doing in my dreams, anyway?" asked Cluster.

"I was following the mental signal of this cop killer I mentioned. To save time, I used hyperspace route systems. Something about your mind as I passed it screwed with my telepathic tracking powers & caused me to lose the scent. Your similarity in appearance to my intended target caused me to wing it.", replied Psi-Spider.

"Oh." said Cluster. He actually accepted this explanation, considering the metaphorical manure he's been through.

"As to what I am, I'm a Tsuchigumo," said Psi-Spider in response to Cluster's other question.

As they parted ways, Writing woke up.

Over the next 2 weeks, Cluster Writing Brain & Psi-Spider kept meeting in Cluster's dreams, getting to know each other further. On August 26, 2009, Cluster went to a "Welcome Freshmen" Barbecue at his new school, the College of Stable Island. However, he also saw the last pony he expected to see there.

"Monica?" he asked in shock as he saw her sitting by the edge of the Campus Center's dining patio.

"Hello, Cluster," said Boom as she saw him.

"So, you're going to this school too?" said a familiar voice.

"Hello, Random," said Cluster.

"Who's the Tsuchigumo mare?" asked Ali.

"Her name is Psi-Spider. We met in my dreams." answered Cluster.

After Random & Psi-Spider finished getting acquainted, Ali introduced them to the other creature at her table.

"This Griffin is my new friend, Joanne Jennifer Plymouth." she said

"What's up, bitches?", responded Joanne. When she said that, the word "bitches" was covered over by an 8-bit censor bleep sound while her mouth was covered by a black bar, both of which disappeared immediately after she stopped swearing.

After that day, it turned out some of Cluster's other old friends were going to that school. Among them were Screech (a Pegasus), Alison, & Smart Gem (a Unicorn). After Cluster & Psi-Spider got to know each other (& Psi-Spider got to know Cluster's friends), they started dating.

My Name is Cluster Writing Brain. This is a chronicle of my time with a polymorphic spider.

Magic is not something you should mess around with.

Author's Note:

I'm trying to put a unique twist on the "OC Protagonist fan fiction" in the following ways:
-While it is a Ship fiction, both partners are fan characters
-It begins at a time before the canon stories did (FiM began in 2010, the beginning of this story takes place in 2009)
-I try to avoid canon characters (most of the events of this story take place at points where canon characters can't be used anyway)
-I treat both ponysonas as separate individuals from their real-world counterparts.

Comments

[Devi]

I...
I don't even.
I smell bad self insertive fan fic!
1: Pony creator Cover.
2: 3 word name.
3: Possible shipping.

[Codes and Ponies]

3157731
1. I would have used a regular drawing, but I can't draw to save my life. My artistic gifts are in literature. However, I made that character design MYSELF!
2. A lot of my original characters have 3-word names, regardless of whether they're self-insert characters or not. I honestly didn't know that was common enough in bad self-insert fan fiction to be considered a symptom of such a thing. However, seeing as I only read GOOD self-insert fan fiction (yes, there is such a thing), I wouldn't know.
3. Unlike most ponysona shipping fan-fiction, both partners are purely fan-made characters, & the events of the story are based around ponifications of events that happened to me in real life.
4. Finally, give me a break will ya? My girlfriend dumped me 3 weeks ago, before I finished chapter 1 of the story. It might take me a while to recover.

[Commissar Rarity]

3158831

Finally, give me a break will ya? My girlfriend dumped me earlier today, before I finished chapter 1 of the story. It might take me a while to recover.

Did she dump you because she found out you were writing weird fanfiction involving her as a slutspider?

[Codes and Ponies]

3166124 No. We had an argument over shit relating to a personal collaborative project we were working on (long story) & she not only dumped me, but booted me out. She actually didn't know about this. I didn't start on this chapter until after she dumped me. Oh, & just so you know, she IS a tsuchigumo in real life (I'm a magnet for the supernatural).

[Commissar Rarity]

3166195

Oh, & just so you know, she IS a jorogumo in real life (I'm a magnet for the supernatural).

i.imgur.com/G7xCPld.png
You're rusing me, right? R-right?

[Codes and Ponies]

3167304 I'm afraid not. My love life is just THAT fucked-up. Don't worry, my ex-girlfriend doesn't indiscriminately eat people, unlike most tsuchigumos. She actually prefers fish or chicken. The only time she'll eat a human AT ALL is if the human in question did something bad enough that getting eaten is among the punishments they are worthy of receiving. My ex is also INSANELY loyal when it comes to relationships (to the point that she regards looking at porn when in an actual romantic relationship as a form of cheating on 1's romantic relationship partner).

[Commissar Rarity]

3167362
My own personal beliefs get me a lot of flak, but holy crap. I really feel bad for you, man. My small town Texan brain literally cannot process this.

[Codes and Ponies]

3167408 In addition to doing a "ponysona relationship fan fiction" where the pairing is not between the writer's ponysona & a canon character, I was also inspired to write this due to the severe lack of female Changeling/male Pony relationship fan fictions where the pony partner is an Earth Pony. Also, a lot of events chronicled in this story are ponifications of real-world events from my most recent romantic relationship.

[Commissar Rarity]

3167467
I could kinda tell about that last bit. And yeah, pony/changeling relationships are pretty rare.

Well, uh, I hope you patch things up with the girl, even though I don't believe in driders/jotaro joestar/whatever it is you call 'em.

[Codes and Ponies]

3167493 Well, it's not so much "Pony/Changeling" relationship fan fictions are rare, it's just that in all such stories I've seen involving a male pony & a female changeling, the pony partner was either a Pegasus or a Unicorn. Also, patching up things with my ex will be difficult. She's moving to Tennessee. Anyway, despite being a member of a supernatural species of Japanese origin, she herself was born in Bryson City, North Carolina. Her ancestors moved there from Japan in the 19th century, & didn't leave that city (barring vacations, business trips, or other such activities requiring them to leave the town) until moving to Staten Island, New York about 2 weeks before me & my ex 1st met. Lastly, the species is called "Tsuchigumos". They are shapeshifters whose unshifted form looks like a Japanese Ground spider. When interacting with humans, they will usually shift into the form of an attractive Japanese human of the same gender as their unshifted form. There's a link explaining more about the species in the description of this story.

[Devi]

3158831
Well, friend.
I understand your argument, but:
How would I ~Magically~ know about your social life? Sorry if I offended you using things I had no clue about.
:P
No hard feelings, right?

[Codes and Ponies]

3197043 It's okay. But still, I wasn't aware that 3-word names are that common in bad self-insert stories.