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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I can't wait to read this new chapter when I get home, I adore this story :D
298076
Thank you, that means a lot I hope you enjoy it.
294449 Lol. Fluttershy already has room and board and her choice of stallions in Ponyville. Dummy.
Angel gets a boner... *walks away slowly* good story though just got one question. In the future of this fic will fluttershy ever get saved?
Okay, time for some constructive criticism! Though your storytelling improved since the first chapter, you made more grammar errors this time around. I suggest getting a pre-reader for this thing, I bet it would not be too much of a hassle given how short the chapters are.
As for the development of the story itself... you do have a very depraved mind. Angel was actually quite disturbing. Still, I liked it. Can't wait to see what other ideas that weitd brain of yours can produce
I would think that shy might turn angel's cage around so he couldn't see out of embarrassment.
OMG I CAN'T STOP FUCKING LAUGHING OMFG!
298111 I hope she dosn't get saved, that would suck.
For those of you wondering what you could possibly do to make this antagonist here suffer, here's an idea:
What'cha gonna need is: a knife, a machete, a pistol, a slice of pizza, and...one of his dildos and restraints.
What'cha gotta do is: Take your pistol, and shoot three bullets into his dick. Then, take your slice of pizza(take a bite if you must) and shove wwaaaayy up his ass. And then, go to his slave and start feeling her up. It will arouse him, but it will hurt like hell(to add some irony, tell him that it's ironic that something that made him feel good now puts him through agony). Do not stop until he reaches his climax and if you did the pizza thing right, not only will semen and blood start spewing, but pizza sauce as well. AND 'DEN, take your knife and slit his flank, grab one of his dildos(your choice) and start pumping it in the wound. Keep it up until you can't take anymore of his screaming. Take the dildo out(or leave it in, your choice) grab your machete, lop off his dick, and shove it base-first into his mouth. Take some restraints and keep it in is mouth, then head back to the slave, arouse him again...with nothing but a shaftless blood sprinkler to arouse, and that gets you more agony points. Finally, take your pistol, stick the barrel in his ass and fire! If your calculations are correct, it should go through him, ripping everything in it's path, come out the end of the disbowel cock, richochet of the wall, and hit him in the skull(make sure you are away enough from the slave and duck so you don't get hit, to increase chances of the perfect kill, hold the bastards head up immediately after you see the bullet fly out, tricky but effective). Even if you don't get the bullet in his head, the internal damage will make him suffer 'til the bitter end, and you will still have the one of the most satisfying kills you could imagine. Thank you reading a section of EBecK's Vengeance Guide!
298968 Can't tell if brilliant or creepy
298968
I was wondering are you "enjoying" this story or just reading it to find out whether Fluttershy gets saved or not and how he sufferes like me?
I hope this doesn't turn out to be some "Oh I forgive you readblood, I can't even remember that you raped me lets be a couple." Type shit.
Otherwise the plot, story, and writing is very good.
Well the story part is debatable but that's just my opinion.
300071 I am not really "enjoying" the story. I am enjoying the feeling of anger and vengeance it gives me. It makes me feel powerful, dark, and someone not to mess with. How the story does end matters not to me, though I will admit that payback is something we'd all like to see here, I just come for what new hateful feeling this injects me with. Fluttershy isn't the only tormented one here, this waiting for what possible way could I hate this guy is makes me want to rip the flesh off my very bones and smother my face with the bloody remenants. 'Tis all I can do to arouse my raw hatred; I must hate myself to satisfy my wicked desire...
Also, creepy or brilliant...I'd like to think both...
But I exaggerate...keep up the writing, sir.
300225
Now that you mention it, we have that in common.
You know what ... *track* what the hell ill give it a go
298081
Again, an amazing chapter my good sir.
All ik is that I have deffinently been "enjoying" this fic.
Hmm...I'm starting to get inspiration from all this raw hatred, I shall turn that into a fanfic...rrrrright after I finish my current one, so be on the look out.
298968
Or, you know, you could just incapacitate him and give him to . Or , although I'm not sure if the Factory takes Earth Ponies. If you're feeling a bit more vengeful, give him to for a bit, maybe half an hour or so, THEN give him to for about five minutes (no longer, don't want him DEAD yet) and THEN give him to for about twenty, and then give whatever's left to to make pretty rainbows for the slave to look at when she's free. You can choose to tell her or not. Her innocence is gone anyways, but whether she already has Stockholm Syndrome may affect your decision (and it looks like she DOES have it). When torturing/maiming/killing somepony, I prefer simply to watch professionals do it for me. They, having all the experience I don't can inflict much more pain and suffering than I can, and probably keep him alive longer too, since most of them know basic anatomy. 's adrenaline would help keep him awake to feel the pain also.
305408 My friend, I AM a professional, it doesn't feel as satisfying if I give the dark desire to another. I have many methods and many ways to cause agony, not just those who keep a pattern, it's more fun to change it around, while at the same time, keeping that personal touch to it. For example, I prefer to use methods that once brought pleasure to my victims, now trap their flesh in Hell's Dungeon of Pain, where their soul cannot bear that much agony and gets crushed under the weight, eventually leading to his inevitable doom. The method I previously provided was but a possibility, if I were to truly bring agony to him...I believe that little bottle of Aprhodisiac would be essential to my method of madness...the fanfic I'm writing provides a sort materialization of what everyone hates about certain folks and tortures those folks to death. And as much as I would love to provide our uptight antagonist here with the same treatment, he is not my character, therefore I can only suggest, not do.
Thank you, sir.
306166
I would suggest alternative methods in order to prolong the life and consciousness, and thus pain and suffering, of the subject; having a subject die in the span of a single day or two is much less satisfying, I find, than prolonging that torture and mental breakdown over the course of weeks, months, and even years. However, that is neither here nor there. Unless, of course, you wish to continue the discussion, in which case I will most gladly oblige.
It has been a pleasure, sir.
306272 I torture in vengeance, not in pleasure, therfore I do my job and move on. My time is too precious to waste that long on torturing one pathetic victim.
Good day to you, sir.
i thought your name was 'the mystery fluttershy FAN!!!!!' so you make a clopfic with her as a SEX SLAVE?!?!?!?! if this is bad i will sicc DJ on you
you act as though you could stop me in the first place
...
he's got'cha there Tenshura, LOL
shut it Fifty-Fifty
Well I must say, THIS WAS THE BEST CLOP FIC I EVER READ. EVER.
308320
Thank you.
It got weird wen angel got a boner..
308605 But wouldn't that mean you were laughing at the comments and not the story, thus making said story less potent? If that's the case, would you mind sharing that with me? Or put it in a bottle, fill it with water, put some Kool-Aid in there, mix it up, and I'll drink it later?
307537 ALSO, my dear TenshuraX, I believe this writer is living up to his name quite well. One must look deeper into ones username to possibly get a glimpse of their personality and likes. Allow me, would you kindly?
This guy is called The Mystery Fluttershy Fan, now we break it down.
The--the obligatory article, also suggest that he is the only one of.
Mystery--suggest mysterious, dark, wants to keep out of the public eyes, or use an alias to seem unknown, suspicious and catalyst to arouse the curiousity of those who catch wind of his name.
Fluttershy--suggest that he likes Fluttershy above all, which leads one to believe the types of fetishes he has might include: shyness, tenderness, vulnerability, and all traits that one would see in Fluttershy, as well as slavery, torture, and rape, hence the Mystery part and this story.
Fan--a simple word describing that one enjoys the thing in question(in this case, Fluttershy) however, it goes even deeper into the word: it suggests that this fan obsessively, possessively, and maybe distubringly adores Fluttershy to the point where he would want to do absolutely anything to her for his own enjoyment. THIS suggests that this story might be a self-insert with Redblood being the author, for he certainly fits the name The Mystery Fluttershy Fan.
Ones username can tell a lot about a user, as well as the actions they do. Each username tells a short story about each user, and I think that this points it out quite well.
Does my summary about sum up as far as the name goes, good author sir?
My friend (Rainbow Blitz on here) told me of this story and it looks sad... Poor fluttershy Now ima just have to throw a throwing knife into that bastards head
My liitle slave, my little slave
Ahh ahh ahh ahhh…
My little slave!
I used to wonder how bondage could be
My little slave
Until you did painful pleasure to me
Big adventure
Tons of cum
A big fat cock
Raping and strong
Sharing fluids
The're easy to eat
And Fluttershy makes it all complete
You have my little slave
Did you know you are my very best clop?
Aaaanyway ,
I just have finished reading chapter Sweet I have printed, and I thought it was the last. I panicked a.deviantart.net/avatars/l/e/legaspplz.png !!
I'll just finish reading the rest tomorrow, 'cuz I'm pretty tired and it's 3:30 AM
Good thing I haven't got a spiked collar around my neck e.deviantart.net/emoticons/a/animesweat.gif . I sure got thisty and hungry too along with reading so I had to pause for a quick snack XD
I really loved the story all the way through (okay I'm having too many dirty thoughts right now). It was something new for me to experience (not that I read much XD). I usually thought of myself that I don't enjoy BDSM, but after reading this, I'm not really sure about that.
There are A LOT of minor grammatical flows, which I will not even try to list XD.. but they've not been interrupting me from the storyline too bad so they can be overlooked. I didn't like the reference to 'Cupcakes'.. I mean it felt awkward because it's about Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, which are friends of Fluttershy's. I hope you know what I mean.
Somewhere in Ropes chapter, you mentioned that Redblood attached Fluttershy a spreader bar, and you didn't mention it being taken off, after they've finished (Or I just skipped a line or something?). Oh, and before that, when Fluttershy was first taken to her cage, her front hooves were untied, right? So when she was left alone in the cage she could have tried and free herself of the collar with her front hooves (not that it would have been much help, but at least you could have pointed that).
Aaand, in the first chapters (can't remember which) you mentioned something about Redblood examining Fluttershy's blood for deseases, and that she'll get punished if he finds some (ironical though, that Fluttershy has no fault if she has a disease XD) and you didn't say if he came up with any results. IDK if you did in the last four chapters I didn't currently managed to read..
One last thing: I LOVE IT when Redblood called her Flutters!! Oh that's so infinitely amazingly fluttering cute!! Please insert more of those XD
Now I am going to read all the other shitty comments before I'll go and get some sleep. I'm expecting a lot of haters.
Oh, and I almost forgot:
i2.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/001/732/winternet.jpg
274141 the part with the chicken seemed fine for me, though I have read Little bakery of horrors which is something like a continuation of "Cupcakes", where Pinkie force fed Fluttershy the remaining bits of Angel bunny (and I loved that part )
And the thing with the security, I totally agree. (still key-swallowing, I am strangely liking e.deviantart.net/emoticons/l/la.gif )
313685 And I expect folks like you to expect folks like us, thus making a neverending loop of expectations with that one person attempting to be different...and now it might not come to be because I said so...or it might because I just said that...etc. etc. Don't cha just love loopholes? They create confusion, allowing for an easy change of topic...in fact, it probably just happened right now...or not...I'm gonna stop now or I will find myself typing for eternity and the word I shall stop on:
Ephah.
313870 Your ancient philosophy me gusta. I will now stop thinking about loops and save the rest of the glucose in my body from being consumed in vain.
On second thought, I am using it right now to figure out what your username stands for
309680 Now I want clopfics with portals
I wanna see the Stockholm syndrome evolve into something more meaningfull and deep
298968 did i just read that....
>>313685
Thanks you for the constructive feedback. You pointed out some contradictions I'll think about those next time I go over it and I will try and sweep out the grammar errors too.
The testing her blood thing, might come up later, it was mainly to point out what he does, his special talent. I made blood his special talent in order to make people worry this could get gory. Maybe in vain.
The story is only just starting, depending on how many more clop chapters I can think of. There will be more
and is coming shortly.
What in the massaged fuck
out of curriosity, is this ever going to reach the 'sad' tag area, you know, with some sort of emotional moment of her friends finding her or her spiraling into depression after she leaves, assuming she leaves.
or is this just another clopfic
309736 Cool, Now do my name. Please?
314706 Very well.
The name is mrhappyface, and unlike the previous demonstration, it is all one word, but the breakdown process doesn't change. Allow me, would you kindly?
mr--a common title among men, seen as a sign of respect and politeness. Though, considering the things you write and the comments you wrote, this suggests that this "title of respect" might mean you demand respect from those inferior to you, for example, should you have a slave, you would obviously demand the utmost respect with unfathomable consequences should you be greeted with denial.
happy--simply put; glad, joyful, pleased, etc. Though, once again, considering your actions, "happy" is used as more of a dark happy, a wicked happy, rather than a bright, "rainbows and butterflies" type of happy. Suggests that you can be easily pleased with the right material, such as, judging from the atmosphere; torture, rape, gore, bloodworks, occult, satanism, and horrific ordeals, which explains perfectly why you support Redbloods actions. His name, his talent, and his likes are quite similar to your own, therefore, you feel that you two relate greatly.
face--this actually combines with the happy part, simply put everything said about that part and combine it with this. The only thing this adds is that you seem have a smile on your "face", thought judging from your surroundings, it suggests that the smile in question isn't something one at your mercy would want to see, for a dark smile is unpredictable: it could mean good things, or it could mean bad things. It also suggests that you like to put fear into your victims by granting a smile, making them curious and also afraid of what's to come. This is all judged by the stories you've written; extreme torture, fear inducing, yet at the same time, keeping a clop-worthy material thus adding degradation to your victims, putting an even bigger smile on your face. All this also describes the fetishes you bear.
To be honest, I would not go as far as satanism, however, my interest in occult, demons, demonic rituals, and tools regarding such does not waiver. I do also enjoy a good horrific image, as you may tell by the fanfic I wrote.(that black-eyed Twilight you used; Freaking lovely! Hell, I probably do her when she's looking at me like that...quite a strange fellow I am...).
I believe I have satisfied your request, good sir, what say you?
314785 Yes, indeed I am, Thank you kind sir.
314785
I kinda think Mr Happyface is either a troll or more messed up then Redblood. But in all honesty I think we all have dark fantasies, but it never means we will ever act on them.
I do have fantasies about slave sex. However inflicting the level of pain the Mr happyface likes to and murder in general I do not find appealing. But as long as it's all in his head and remains there, it is no ones business and writing is a good way to satisfy those fantasies.
But I do like your fics mrhappyface, in a technical and creative sense.
*looks aroung the page* where the hell is the next chapter
315063
Probably tonight.
Depends if my brain is creative enough.
315068
*opens your head and sees your brain* GET CREATIVE
> Is "Fluttershy fan"
>Writes about sex including her.
The logic in the fandom... Jeez...
315059 It's probably the latter. The fics he writes and the stuff he says aren't really troll material. Though, he might engage in some trolling (as I believe we all do, using the same principle of logic you gave, where we may put it on writing, or keeping in silent.) it doens't necessarily make him a troll. Just as if one were to ski once or twice, it doesn't mean that person is a skier. Therefore, just because one gives trolling comments every so often doesn't really ipso facto make him a troll. You might be right about the dark fantasies, however, proving that is out of the question, a good theory nonetheless...the only time I think about sex slaves is exacting the brutal murder on their proclaimed "masters." To further this, if the slave wants to be rescued, then they are rescued, however, if they grieve over their masters suffering and death, it causes me to think that they like being treated like garbage, so I do what I do with garbage...I throw it out with the trash that is the master.
Also, please bring on the next chapter: fill my plate of hate, pour a drink into my cup of malice, and let me continue this banquet of vengeance.
...You have issues.
No, not THOSE kind of issues. Actually, I'm enjoying the story quite a bit. But you have issues with your story that I hate seeing. In spite of those, though, I still like the story fine. It's not Shakespeare, but I can see you're trying, at least. Maybe I'll offer up some criticism for the next chapter (which I hope is soon), because I'd love to help you see where you could take this.
300225 same here.
315857I previously gave an explaination regarding the confusion between the name and the story, for you weren't the only one baffled by this. Perhaps you should give that a read?
314785 Do me next! tee-hee