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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Whoo! Comments!
First, housekeeping.
I thought you edited this? Missing a word in the second sentence
[try 'and or to' pull off]
needs a 'to' between only - fly and a comma after fly. Maybe another comma after 'invisibility'?
'else' is unnecessary here.
Out of context, this sentence is hilarious.
Should be 'Eos hanging on her every word'
This sentence makes no sense.
Forgot a word here. [I 'need' you]
Missing a word here. [told me 'he' felt]
Congratulations on chapter 30. That's an awful lot of horse words. I'm glad to see you've got your flow back.
So...comments...
Eos please! Stop being lewd. We have to rescue Cherry!
There is nothing to be ashamed of here, unless she's ashamed of defying her Goddess. Would have had more impact if she HAD forced ponies into Unity. Just made me think: "Why are you crying over being a good pony?"
Yawn
boring sneaky stealth mission to do spy pony stuff.
Why are there no snipers on this tower with night scopes?
Apparently they don't need them since Crimson can't fly straight.
Limoncello's coltfriend is a bitch.
Cherry gives coded directions like: up up down down left right left right B A ▶
Do you know how many times I've been pissed on while crouching next to a dumpster?! A lot. Thanks, Dishonored.
Dumb guard chasing the intruder instead of immediately raising the alarm. Hero's will always win when henchmen are this stupid.
I just knew (because of all the teasing from Eos and how pent up he has to be) that Crimson was going to kick that window out and take Cherry right there on the bathroom floor. Good show of character maturity 👍
Shit, meet Fan
These guards have got some balls, charging at at a litch king like Crimson. When faced with a bloody faced floaty pega, I think I'd run.
Eos: "Don't worry about that head injury, I'll cuddle it better."
Sorry to keep comment's short. Didn't want this to be longer than the chapter.
One more thing though,
When are we getting a chapter that ends with Crimson in Cherry's hooves??
#FreeCherrySundae
9704038
>I thought you edited this
I did. That quote you grabbed is how I speak IRL Though okay, I'll fix that.
Though god damn. See, this is why I'm a bad editor. All these issues! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
In my head this worked because she had the intention to rip their personal control from them, even if she believed it was for the greater cause, because now she understands how much that means to her. Though maybe you're right... maybe I should either edit it or have it be that she was lying. Something to mull over.
So, no more stealth mission chapters? I mean, I didn't really have another chapter like this planned, but just to check, not all that interesting, no? I appreciate the honesty, because like I say, its not something I was completely certain I could pull off but its something that made sense to do for the story regardless. Won't do the same thing again now I know.
Well the thought process I had in my head was that they aren't expecting attacks from a flier, especially after the public hanging...
I hope you realise this was just Cherry thinking quickly on her hooves in order to avoid letting on she's talking to Crimson. 🤔
I didn't even think of this. Glad to hear it had an impact on you. 😈
Yup. Stupid choice by the guard. Stupid, stupid choice.
Hahaha, I'm ashamed now because I didn't even think of that!
Too fucking true. I wouldn't go near him. I wanted to portray an image of a demon rising from the ground unnaturally, dripping blood and able to do the impossible. Not a real pony, but a true demon.
This is my new favourite quote.
I cry at short comments
SOON™
9749875
I have gotta say, this is exactly what I needed to see after the day I've had today. (note; spoiler is very sad news) I found out this morning that one of my closest friends died in his sleep last night, and I'm completely distraught.
Thank you, Regolit. I really appreciate the comment and it made me laugh. Yeah, the story does seem to be more and more about cuddles