This Makes No Sense!

“Oh boy oh boy, this is gonna be so much fun! What do you think, Gummy?” Pinkie Pie craned her head over her shoulder and asked the baby alligator resting on her back. One of Gummy’s purple psychedelic eyes looked at her vacantly while the other stared off into the bright, clear sky above. The man of few words that he was, he kept his mouth closed, though his thoughts at the moment weren't exactly what Pinkie was looking for. At that moment, they were split between how hungry he was and how appetizing the pink cotton candy in front of him looked. Pinkie giggled and scratched his head affectionately. “You don’t need to say anything, I can tell you’re just as excited as I am!” Gummy opened his toothless mouth and chomped on her hair, which she took as confirmation of his eagerness.

Pinkie hummed a song to herself as she trotted through the center of Ponyville while Gummy swung to and fro with a death grip on her hair. It was just around noon, and the town’s inhabitants were up and bustling, going about their business as the strange pair of pony and alligator passed them by. Pinkie greeted each and every pony she could find with a wave and a quick hello, oblivious to her pet's hold on her hair. In any other town, Pinkie would certainly get a few curious glances, but the residents here had grown accustomed to her peculiar habits over the years, and allowing Gummy to chew on her hair wasn’t close to the strangest thing they had seen her doing (that dubious honor belonged to a day that had ended with half the town flooded in frosting, but that’s a story for another time).

“Hiya girls! Great to see ya!” Pinkie said, springing like a pogo stick as she hopped into the center of town. A white gazebo big enough to fit ten ponies sat smack in the middle of the square, and currently it was occupied by Pinkie’s five closest friends. It was a usual occurrence, and today was no different, as Pinkie had asked them to come by at this time.

“Hello Pinkie,” Twilight greeted her with a wave of her hoof and cut right to the chase. “I’m sure I speak for everyone when I ask why you wanted us to bring these supplies.” She magically opened the saddlebag on her hip and levitated out an inkwell and a quill. The others in turn opened saddlebags of their own and pulled out a variety of items; apples, a perfume bottle, a piece of a cloud, and pet food.

“Great, you have everything. Now come on, I have a hankering for cupcakes and I need your help.” Pinkie turned and hopped away without a care in the world, leaving the others to look at each other with suspicion, but eventually they gave in and followed her back through town. The trek back to the bakery was uneventful, or as uneventful as a day with Pinkie could be. She made sure to greet everyone they passed by, even the ones she had already seen when walking to the meeting.

The bell above Sugarcube Corner's front entrance rang as they filed into the seating area. Pinkie lead them into the kitchen and said, "Now just wait here, I need to go get a few things first." She skipped off to the storeroom with Gummy still clinging to her hair, leaving her confused friends behind to speculate as to what she had up her sleeve this time.

“It's never a good sign when she disappears on us like that,” Rainbow said nervously while she beat her wings lazily in the air. "Last time she did this, I had to spend an entire week working overtime with the weather team to clean up that frosting."

"Don't worry so much Dash, I'm sure she's learned her lesson." Applejack remained hopeful, but the others weren't letting their guard down.

Suddenly there came a crashing noise from the storeroom, causing all of them to jump and Fluttershy in particular to fly straight up and cling to one of the wooden beams on the ceiling. Rainbow was coaxing her down when Pinkie walked back into the kitchen, lugging with her a huge pot half her size. “There may be a teeny, tiny problem…” Pinkie sat the pot down on a table with a loud crash that sent Fluttershy up into the rafters again. She scratched the back of her neck and looked sheepishly at the five pairs of eyes staring at her. “Well, you see, the bakery was super busy yesterday, and we don’t get the new shipment of supplies until tomorrow, so I maaay be a little low on ingredients right now.” She rummaged through the kitchen's drawers and refrigerator, coming up with all the ingredients for a cake. She mixed them together in the pot, but even someone with no cooking experience could tell there wasn't enough for the cupcakes she so desired.

“Well that is unfortunate,” Rarity said, “but I still don’t see how that has anything to do with our things.” She took a perfume bottle out and was about to spray when Pinkie snatched it from her and threw it into the table, doing the same for each of the items. "Careful Pinkie! That brand is one of a kind!"

“Uh, Pinkie, you aren’t seriously going to do what I think you’re going to do, are you?” Twilight asked. She had a sinking suspicion that she knew exactly what Pinkie was planning, but she asked in the hopes that she would be proven wrong.

“Quit worrying, you worry wort, I’m a professional! I’ll have those cupcakes done in no time at all!” With that, she flung the improvised ingredients into the pot and started to stir the concoction, humming away happily while her friends stared at her in disbelief.

“Pinkie! Do you have any idea how much that perfume cost!? I had to import it from Canterlot!”

“Uh, Twi, don’t you think we should stop her?” Applejack whispered to Twilight as Pinkie stirred away without a care in the world, slopping some of the dubious dough onto the table in her efforts to mash it into something that shouldn’t have been possible.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” was what Twilight would’ve said, if a particularly large glob of dough hadn’t jumped from the pan and struck her smack dab in the middle of her face. A high pitched yet elegant screech that could only be Rarity’s pierced the bakery’s kitchen as Pinkie and the pot became a whirlwind of pink, delicious destruction. The pot roared to life as the maniacal baker propelled dough splotched with strange colors through the air here, there, and indeed everywhere. Twilight wiped her face clean only to be immediately hit again as everyone that wasn’t currently mixing like an over-caffeinated squirrel were desperately trying to dodge the incoming projectiles.

“Take cover!” Rainbow shouted as she narrowly ducked under a missile with her name written all over it. It splattered against the wall with a loud squelch. “She’s going into overdrive!” She knocked over a table and everyone dove for it, save Fluttershy, who still had a death grip on the rafter. Rainbow flew up and, after a fair bit of tugging, finally got Fluttershy down, but not before taking a hit in the wings and crashing down to floor below. Luckily for the both of them, they fell behind the table and were safe from the raging storm.

Armageddon had come to Ponyville, and it was pink.

When it was all over, to call the kitchen a mess would be an insult to Pinkie’s capability to completely redecorate a room with nothing more than a wooden spoon and an illogical cake mix. The walls, the ceiling, anything that was in her range had been tagged with at least some dough, and, unfortunately for them, Pinkie’s friends counted as anything in range. Even Gummy hadn't been safe from the storm, as he hung limply in a glob of dough stuck on the ceiling. His eyes gave no indication that he was aware of anything out of the ordinary. An overturned table had been their only defense, and a purple head sprinkled with flakes of dough popped out of cover. Twilight was ready to give the lecturing of her life, but before she could say anything, a tray full of cupcakes was thrust in her face.

"Here, try one!" Pinkie said cheerfully, beaming with pride at her handiwork. Somehow she had avoided getting hit, as she was spotless from head to toe. Her friends looked at the cupcakes, then back to each other, none of them feeling brave enough to tempt fate.

Finally, after a few seconds of silent contemplation, a volunteer stepped up to the plate. "I'll try it," Fluttershy said quietly, taking one and studying it for any signs that it would attack her if she angered it. When she was satisfied that she was still higher on the food chain, she closed her eyes and took a timid bite. She chewed slowly, but the longer she chewed, the more her face relaxed, until she opened her eyes and smiled. "This is... very good!" Four mouths hung open while a fifth turned into a smile that stretched from ear to ear.

"I knew you'd like them! Here, the rest of you need to try some!" Once again Twilight found the tray inches away from her face.

Spurned on by Fluttershy, the rest cautiously took one each and bit down apprehensively, but their dubious expressions lit up as they chewed. "Wow, Pinks, that isn't half bad." Rainbow complimented the chef.

"I want to know what happened to your horn, Pinkie." Twilight said through a bite of her food.

"What do you mean Twi?"

"There are so many laws of physics and plain common sense you broke, just thinking about it is giving me a headache." Twilight continued to munch on the impossible cupcake. "Conservation of matter, the atomic makeup of everything you used, not to mention you didn't even bake the dough!" She thought for a second before adding, "Well, the apples made sense, but everything else shouldn't even be edible!"

Pinkie laughed and shook her head like Twilight had asked her what two plus two equaled. "No magic, just a few tricks of the trade!" She gobbled down a handful of cupcakes and passed out extras, which everyone gratefully accepted.

"Man, if you can make these out of anything you find, I wonder what other stuff you can bake."

"Who knows? I'm always looking for new recipes." She bit down into a blue cupcake streaked with multiple colors. "Heck, I bet you'd make a good cupcake!" Rainbow choked and sputtered on her food until Pinkie gave her a slap on the back, knocking the food loose and allowing her to catch her breath. "Jeez silly, I was only joking!"

"Yeah, ha ha, really funny..." Everyone had a good chuckle and finished off their sweets.

"Pinkie?"

"Yeah, Twilight?" Pinkie wiped her mouth with the back of her hoof.

"Who's going to clean up the mess?"

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