Twilight's life takes on a different tint when she fails to pass her entrance exam for Celestia's School. As it turns out, there are other ways to serve her princess and country.
I like when ppl describe magic lake you did or as a kinda like programming language. Easy to conceptualise and describe, but with vast potential and possible complexity towards convoluted deep end.
But Trixie wasn’t really trying to kill her. If anything, she seemed to be at a bit of a loss for words. After a moment, she finally asked, “You really can’t cast a shield, can you? It’s the simplest combat spell you can learn!”
Slowly, slowly, Twilight lowered her oh-so-threatening cooking grate. “I told you that I only knew two spells at the fort!” she snapped. “Did you think I was lying or something? I can levitate things and suppress magic!”
What the duce are they doing over there in the guard? Trixie's right, after the basic bolt of force, a common shield is the simplest thing you can learn. It essentially boils down to interposing your magic in the way of everything that comes at you until you run out of mana, it literally can't get any simpler.
As Trixie was saying, imagine that you are trying to describe how some animal looks to someone who has never heard or seen such a thing before. You have to describe the beast, define the edges of it until that pony understands what it is you are telling them.”
That is a good way to put it. Trixie has a certain knack for this.
Twilight yelped when Trixie jumped right over the rock to get at her. Twilight tried to catch her in telekinesis, or with magical suppression, but again Twilight’s magic slid right off the other unicorn. Trixie had obviously cast some kind of protection on herself and Twilight couldn’t hope to figure out what it was or how to get around it, especially not with the unicorn shooting lightning at her!
It's pretty simple really, just explore indirect harm. Throwing stuff at her was a good idea, though a cloud of accelerated gravel would do more than a single large stone. Creating a hazardous environment, heat, cold, toxic fumes, those often work well on an inexperienced mage who hasn't studied environmental protection. And there's always the old stand-by, ripping the ground up from underneath them.
Her eyes snapped open just as Trixie’s surprise attack came at her. Twilight’s horn lit again, but this time she could feel it was right. The flow of the runes, circle and all. Forcing the magic into purpose, like taming a river.
Magic sprang up around Twilight. A wispy, thin, bubble-like sheen of transparent orchid magic. Trixie’s electricity spell slammed into it, making the whole thing ripple and quake, but it held.
There you go, well done. First power, and now knowledge. Next comes confidence. You must know this spell, practice it until it becomes wholly familiar, a reflex. I recommend that Trixie continue tossing lightning at her at random intervals, until Twilight can conjure that shield at an instant's notice.
So, I tried my best to cobble the two points together. Let me know if it makes any sense.
You're doing very well, clear and coherent. I enjoyed it! Though not as much as Twilight...
What the duce are they doing over there in the guard? Trixie's right, after the basic bolt of force, a common shield is the simplest thing you can learn. It essentially boils down to interposing your magic in the way of everything that comes at you until you run out of mana, it literally can't get any simpler.
Twilight is still technically a trainee, and not many unicorns join ROTC.
As we've seen already, and will see in future chapters, magic use is a lot more regulated in this Equestria.
Well, that is true. An air-tight shield spell applied to somebody's face is a dandy little combat trick, and exactly the kind of thing that would give CSI fits.
"the cooking supplies laying around" "the cooking supplies lying around"?
"have the time to lay around and" "have the time to lie around and"?
"indignantly corrected. Trixie just rolled her" You might want to consider a paragraph break there, since, even though it is perhaps a bit of a special circumstance, there are still two different speakers?
"one unknown run on either side" "one unknown rune on either side"?
"how quick she picked" "how quickly she picked"?
I think the system here made sense, aye. Thanks for writing. :)
Normally I try to see the silver lining in most of what Celestia does in other works but I really hope destiny gives her a big middle finger on her plans, or if that's too drastic just that feeling you get when you hit a corner with you sides agonizing but not deadly. Marvelous way of describing your worlds take on how magic works.
10212522 There's a lot of hate for my Celestia in this fic so far, but I don't think she's that bad. She's making the most out of a horrible situation.
Imagine you have this problem coming up. Huge problem. Sister trying to murder you and whatnot. You can't wield the only weapons left that can stop her, so you have to find someone who can. Along comes this one unicorn, Sunset Shimmer. She's smart, talented, and very, very powerful. You pour all of your resources into training her, even compromising some of your own personal morals to keep her around, because she might be the only thing that can stand in the way of your continued existence and the Huge Problem that is right around the corner.
But, a year before the Huge Problem hits, along comes *another* unicorn. This one seems to be just as, if not more, talented than your current student (that you've put two decades into training, almost). Except she's totally untrained and might belong to a cult that worships you as a god (and that you've been trying to snuff out for a few years now, but man are they tenacious and pesky). On top of that, her psych profile say she has OCD, mania, is prone to panic attacks, and used to be a terrible bully when she was young. If you put your student and this one together, in any setting, it would absolutly blow up in your face.
So what do you do? Over here you have this aging High Magister that you haven't been able to find the perfect replacement for. He's super loyal, super powerful, and still has a few years left where he can actually train a replacement. Perfect fit!
Except, New Pony doesn't want to join the most prestigious magical organization in Equestria. She wants to be a common guard. She wants to be personally close to you, and is also soon going to be your extended family. Whoops. And now your niece, who has just about never asked you for anything in her life, and is also a pretender (potential claimant) to your throne, wants you to take her on as a student as a personal favor. Double whoops.
So Celestia is basically painted into a corner. She didn't want to overtly interfere in Twilight's life, because that's a dickish thing to do (if she just walked up to Twilight and ordered her to join the Magisterium, Twilight would probably do it no matter about what she really wanted because of the whole "might be in a Celestia cult" thing) and Celestia is not a complete dick. So she just tells some ponies to make things a little harder for Twilight at her basic training, and then tells the Magisterium to give her a once-in-a-lifetime chance to go on an actual mission so she can see what the life is like.
And, if all of that still doesn't pan out, she's willing to take Twilight on as a student after Sunset deals with her sister problem.
All of this is going to be laid out in future chapters, but so many people were hating Celestia so much I thought I'd clear up her POV a bit.
That's why I said my other option the painfull one that just feel like you have been shot but nothing bad really happened in the end and you learn a lesson in not doing the thing again, I don't hate Celestia per say but I am getting annoyed at some of her antics and to be honest the reason everyone hopes in blows up in her face in a positive way is because in my other stories or at least the ones I have read it is always hinting at it happening but it really never does, it's either the world goes so against our main hero that it get ridiculous or they turn evil cause power is the root of all evil even, when the main character does everything they can to show that they are not evil but the world wont give them a break forcing them into the bad guy role so much that context be dammed they turn into said bad guy. Also am at heart a Twilight fan and just want to see her triumph in a spectacular way that leaves everyone flummoxed
Whelp. Hope Trixie was having a good time being alive. Twilight will scoop her brains out Serves her right too since she just wanted to smack Twilight with magic.
10212947 Except that in this case, directly interfering in Twilight's life would have been the best possible way to fix things. Rather than all the chess mastering and misdirection, sit Twilight down, explain to her that the best way she could serve the Princess is to learn from the Grand Magister, and ask her to do it.
Celestia's stupid test ruined Twilight's life. The least she could do is pony-up to her mistakes and fix it. Instead she's manipulating Twilight and everyone. How is this better than just being honest? It's clear why Luna got Honesty, Loyalty and Kindness. Chessmaster Celestia doesn't seem to be able to go to the bathroom without three ulterior motives.
Don't get me wrong, this is a good story. I wouldn't be reading it if I didn't like it. And your interpretation of Celestia is valid. I just hate the way Twilight seems to have gotten shafted by this timeline. At least now she's starting to get a chance to change her stars.
10212947 You say Celestia doesn't want to interfere in Twilight's life because that would be dickish, but then you go and say she told her soldiers to deliberately make life as unpleasant and unfair as possible to Twilight in her training. How is that NOT interfering with Twilight's life?
Again, she's being manipulative and deceitful, when the series canon—which I presume you haven't completely dismissed—has honesty as one of the major tenants of harmony that makes Equestria safe and work properly. Thus your version of Celestia comes off as very hypocritical and manipulative, which no one likes.
The thing is, we're fine with that... so long as she gets some kind of comeuppance. Mind you, we're not talking about death or despair or anything, but something needs to happen because of or in spite of her activity that puts at least some egg on her face that she can't rationalize away or otherwise dismiss. So far this version of Celestia has basically allowed her school to screw up and not properly train a highly powerful unicorn. And instead of admitting at least partial guilt (in that if it's HER school, "the buck stops here" should apply) and trying to fix it, her response is to have said unicorn's life screwed around with until said unicorn does precisely what Celestia wants, regardless of what TWILIGHT wants. That is just all KINDS of dickish.
So I think a lot of the "hate" is more a reaction to her "my way or the highway" behavior. Especially as we see Twilight's perspective and know that this is basically the same mare as the canon show, just with a bit different life path. She's still a good pony at heart, still cares deeply, and she's being pissed on. Again, fine and dandy... so long as things get righted in the end. And I think a lot of concern readers have is that not every fanfic author can recognize that, or wants to "subvert expectations" and do something emotionally unrewarding and dissatisfying just to be different.
At least, that's my take on it. I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I suspect that's kind of what's going on.
So basically TLDR: Celestia's a hypocrite and needs to get some kind of proportional comeuppance, and the anxiety of the readers is that this isn't going to happen.
10212947 I suppose that I'm one of the few that sympathizes with Celestia in this fic. Sure, she has made mistakes, I get the impression that whoever she talked to at Ft. Dressage took her "be a little tough on her" for "get rid of this problem for me". And while talking to Twilight directly after the ring test would have fixed everything, I can see a few reasons that she would not do that. After dealing with Sunset for so long, I suspect she would do a lot to avoid giving someone an ego. And there's not much bigger an ego boost than your personal goddess descending from on high to tell you that you are just too good for anything but the most powerful position in the world aside from hers.
10230448 Right. And there's how the princess personally taking that much interest in another unicorn, another POWERFUL unicorn, would affect Sunset at this point.
She's put all her chips on Sunset because Sunset was the only viable option.
It is so sweet seeing everything finally click in Twilight's head.
I like when ppl describe magic lake you did or as a kinda like programming language.
Easy to conceptualise and describe, but with vast potential and possible complexity towards convoluted deep end.
10209121
MkktBkkt... Haven't seen you in a while. How's the trading business going with the human pandemic?
I guess Sunset is still Celestia*s student? And she dont run away ?
Most likely not. You just dug your own grave.
10209429
She has a few lines to herself in previous chapters. Yes, she's still there as Celestia's student.
What the duce are they doing over there in the guard? Trixie's right, after the basic bolt of force, a common shield is the simplest thing you can learn. It essentially boils down to interposing your magic in the way of everything that comes at you until you run out of mana, it literally can't get any simpler.
That is a good way to put it. Trixie has a certain knack for this.
It's pretty simple really, just explore indirect harm. Throwing stuff at her was a good idea, though a cloud of accelerated gravel would do more than a single large stone. Creating a hazardous environment, heat, cold, toxic fumes, those often work well on an inexperienced mage who hasn't studied environmental protection. And there's always the old stand-by, ripping the ground up from underneath them.
There you go, well done. First power, and now knowledge. Next comes confidence. You must know this spell, practice it until it becomes wholly familiar, a reflex. I recommend that Trixie continue tossing lightning at her at random intervals, until Twilight can conjure that shield at an instant's notice.
You're doing very well, clear and coherent. I enjoyed it! Though not as much as Twilight...
10209558
So,she doesnt run away in EG world?
10209559
Twilight is still technically a trainee, and not many unicorns join ROTC.
As we've seen already, and will see in future chapters, magic use is a lot more regulated in this Equestria.
10209583
Well, that is true. An air-tight shield spell applied to somebody's face is a dandy little combat trick, and exactly the kind of thing that would give CSI fits.
10209583
I would imagine so. Basically, every unicorn is a lethal weapon.
Untrained, they could kill someone by accident
YES! There's the Twilight we know and love!
I didn't imagine this literal of a spark though
"the cooking supplies laying around"
"the cooking supplies lying around"?
"have the time to lay around and"
"have the time to lie around and"?
"indignantly corrected. Trixie just rolled her"
You might want to consider a paragraph break there, since, even though it is perhaps a bit of a special circumstance, there are still two different speakers?
"one unknown run on either side"
"one unknown rune on either side"?
"how quick she picked"
"how quickly she picked"?
I think the system here made sense, aye. Thanks for writing. :)
You're an effective teacher, she's gonna be your problem forever.
I just realized why Trixie is a good teacher.
she SHOWS how it's done, like showmare
Normally I try to see the silver lining in most of what Celestia does in other works but I really hope destiny gives her a big middle finger on her plans, or if that's too drastic just that feeling you get when you hit a corner with you sides agonizing but not deadly. Marvelous way of describing your worlds take on how magic works.
10212522
There's a lot of hate for my Celestia in this fic so far, but I don't think she's that bad. She's making the most out of a horrible situation.
Imagine you have this problem coming up. Huge problem. Sister trying to murder you and whatnot. You can't wield the only weapons left that can stop her, so you have to find someone who can. Along comes this one unicorn, Sunset Shimmer. She's smart, talented, and very, very powerful. You pour all of your resources into training her, even compromising some of your own personal morals to keep her around, because she might be the only thing that can stand in the way of your continued existence and the Huge Problem that is right around the corner.
But, a year before the Huge Problem hits, along comes *another* unicorn. This one seems to be just as, if not more, talented than your current student (that you've put two decades into training, almost). Except she's totally untrained and might belong to a cult that worships you as a god (and that you've been trying to snuff out for a few years now, but man are they tenacious and pesky). On top of that, her psych profile say she has OCD, mania, is prone to panic attacks, and used to be a terrible bully when she was young. If you put your student and this one together, in any setting, it would absolutly blow up in your face.
So what do you do? Over here you have this aging High Magister that you haven't been able to find the perfect replacement for. He's super loyal, super powerful, and still has a few years left where he can actually train a replacement. Perfect fit!
Except, New Pony doesn't want to join the most prestigious magical organization in Equestria. She wants to be a common guard. She wants to be personally close to you, and is also soon going to be your extended family. Whoops. And now your niece, who has just about never asked you for anything in her life, and is also a pretender (potential claimant) to your throne, wants you to take her on as a student as a personal favor. Double whoops.
So Celestia is basically painted into a corner. She didn't want to overtly interfere in Twilight's life, because that's a dickish thing to do (if she just walked up to Twilight and ordered her to join the Magisterium, Twilight would probably do it no matter about what she really wanted because of the whole "might be in a Celestia cult" thing) and Celestia is not a complete dick. So she just tells some ponies to make things a little harder for Twilight at her basic training, and then tells the Magisterium to give her a once-in-a-lifetime chance to go on an actual mission so she can see what the life is like.
And, if all of that still doesn't pan out, she's willing to take Twilight on as a student after Sunset deals with her sister problem.
All of this is going to be laid out in future chapters, but so many people were hating Celestia so much I thought I'd clear up her POV a bit.
Oh no, this won't end well.
10212977
Oh no. This won't end.
The bibliovore has tasted the tastiest of knowledge, and now she will hunt it for the rest of her days.
10213039
Our only hope is the pony equivalent of Covid-19 shutting all libraries.
10212947
That's why I said my other option the painfull one that just feel like you have been shot but nothing bad really happened in the end and you learn a lesson in not doing the thing again, I don't hate Celestia per say but I am getting annoyed at some of her antics and to be honest the reason everyone hopes in blows up in her face in a positive way is because in my other stories or at least the ones I have read it is always hinting at it happening but it really never does, it's either the world goes so against our main hero that it get ridiculous or they turn evil cause power is the root of all evil even, when the main character does everything they can to show that they are not evil but the world wont give them a break forcing them into the bad guy role so much that context be dammed they turn into said bad guy. Also am at heart a Twilight fan and just want to see her triumph in a spectacular way that leaves everyone flummoxed
Yes. This is perfect.
Whelp. Hope Trixie was having a good time being alive. Twilight will scoop her brains out
Serves her right too since she just wanted to smack Twilight with magic.
10212947 Except that in this case, directly interfering in Twilight's life would have been the best possible way to fix things. Rather than all the chess mastering and misdirection, sit Twilight down, explain to her that the best way she could serve the Princess is to learn from the Grand Magister, and ask her to do it.
Celestia's stupid test ruined Twilight's life. The least she could do is pony-up to her mistakes and fix it. Instead she's manipulating Twilight and everyone. How is this better than just being honest? It's clear why Luna got Honesty, Loyalty and Kindness. Chessmaster Celestia doesn't seem to be able to go to the bathroom without three ulterior motives.
Don't get me wrong, this is a good story. I wouldn't be reading it if I didn't like it. And your interpretation of Celestia is valid. I just hate the way Twilight seems to have gotten shafted by this timeline. At least now she's starting to get a chance to change her stars.
10212947
You say Celestia doesn't want to interfere in Twilight's life because that would be dickish, but then you go and say she told her soldiers to deliberately make life as unpleasant and unfair as possible to Twilight in her training. How is that NOT interfering with Twilight's life?
Again, she's being manipulative and deceitful, when the series canon—which I presume you haven't completely dismissed—has honesty as one of the major tenants of harmony that makes Equestria safe and work properly. Thus your version of Celestia comes off as very hypocritical and manipulative, which no one likes.
The thing is, we're fine with that... so long as she gets some kind of comeuppance. Mind you, we're not talking about death or despair or anything, but something needs to happen because of or in spite of her activity that puts at least some egg on her face that she can't rationalize away or otherwise dismiss. So far this version of Celestia has basically allowed her school to screw up and not properly train a highly powerful unicorn. And instead of admitting at least partial guilt (in that if it's HER school, "the buck stops here" should apply) and trying to fix it, her response is to have said unicorn's life screwed around with until said unicorn does precisely what Celestia wants, regardless of what TWILIGHT wants. That is just all KINDS of dickish.
So I think a lot of the "hate" is more a reaction to her "my way or the highway" behavior. Especially as we see Twilight's perspective and know that this is basically the same mare as the canon show, just with a bit different life path. She's still a good pony at heart, still cares deeply, and she's being pissed on. Again, fine and dandy... so long as things get righted in the end. And I think a lot of concern readers have is that not every fanfic author can recognize that, or wants to "subvert expectations" and do something emotionally unrewarding and dissatisfying just to be different.
At least, that's my take on it. I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I suspect that's kind of what's going on.
So basically TLDR: Celestia's a hypocrite and needs to get some kind of proportional comeuppance, and the anxiety of the readers is that this isn't going to happen.
10212947
I suppose that I'm one of the few that sympathizes with Celestia in this fic. Sure, she has made mistakes, I get the impression that whoever she talked to at Ft. Dressage took her "be a little tough on her" for "get rid of this problem for me". And while talking to Twilight directly after the ring test would have fixed everything, I can see a few reasons that she would not do that. After dealing with Sunset for so long, I suspect she would do a lot to avoid giving someone an ego. And there's not much bigger an ego boost than your personal goddess descending from on high to tell you that you are just too good for anything but the most powerful position in the world aside from hers.
10230448
Right. And there's how the princess personally taking that much interest in another unicorn, another POWERFUL unicorn, would affect Sunset at this point.
She's put all her chips on Sunset because Sunset was the only viable option.
10217192
Not to mention by doing that they are just gonna create the monster that their trying to push back.
10213039
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