3048649 My semi-blindness and sleep-deprived mind must have missed something. All I saw was "put him down" and I instantly flew away from my laptop in surprise, confusion and (as you point out) completely useless rage.
I'm rather enjoying the little world building tidbits scattered throughout this story... and I've learned more than I ever would have thought about horse breeding
3048649 At least he didn't use the opportunity to shout "first" so... y'know... silver linings
Really enjoyed reading what you've had so far. I just love all the world building stuff that you have in this fic. Eagerly looking forward to the next chapter next week.
It was as Twilight was contemplating just how much spike might grow during his hibernation that a knock on the door of her receiving room / solar drew her attention from her absent companion.
What a waist You have a knack for prose i'll give you that. Shame....I bet you could have done better than this. Oh well rape is still rape no matter how fancy you dress it.
3048740 No one said arranged marriages were fun, but they happen. There's more to come, albeit I have to use the famous last words 'Trust Me'. Originally this whole piece was supposed to be an exercise in oddball shipping clop, but ... I don't know, It seems to have gone ... somewhere else.
Am I the only one concerned about the fact that it was SCOOTALOO who ended up pushing Mac over the edge. (I seriously had to go back and check because I was afraid you had misspoken and it was Rainbow Dash)
Although honestly, I find it hard to believe that Mac was so overcome with need that he charged forward...or that Braeburn and whoever else it was could hold him if he wanted to get away. Somehow he doesn't seem the type to get so swept up... more likely it was a show... but I guess we'll see.
Wow, never thought of ponies as having such an exhibitionist streak.
Also, if the mares had to tie down Diamond in that shed, THEN I might get a little upset. I know she's less than willing, and that's one thing, but if her mother and AJ had to physically restrain her, then we get into the morally questionable area.
I did love how Twilight oh so subtly went 'she is not your property' to Big Mac and 'You got yourself into this, now stand tall and deal with it' to Diamond.
And there is the one thing that concerns me the most of this coupling: What about the foals? I still don't understand HOW having Big Mac breed with Diamond Tiara saves Filthy's business or his reputation with his various business partners. Is Big Mac supposed to give Filthy some sort of dowry or does the fact that diamond is no longer technically Filthy's daughter (or his problem) somehow make the other ponies turn a blind eye to past deeds? Some clarification as to HOW this helps anypony and Why this is the only choice Diamond has for her life would be nice?
Am I the only one concerned about the fact that it was SCOOTALOO who ended up pushing Mac over the edge.
but what edge did Mac get pushed over ... him being probably sober, it wasn't arousal (try thinking - Holy Horse-apples that's my baby sister's best friend doing that!). There is thought in all this, the chosen POV's limit one's perception at times. If you missed it before I''ve studied anthropology, so I'm pulling some odd practices together here, and tried to file the edges smooth in fitting them together. And thank you for catching Twilight's little twist on tradition at the end of her POV. Love your commentary so observant and intelligent. You've easily become one of my favorite commentators here.
3048934 Actually I love the potential in character that DT avails. Too many writers just use the arrogant snob model or social bully , so I'm really looking forward to doing her POV for the next chapter. I really like that little knot of flawed thinking she holds her reality together with. Without its facets a diamond has no capacity to shine.
Won't lie, I found this hard to get into, but after getting my head around the concept it's making much more sense and there looks to be a lot of potential for this story :) I've often wondered what goes in to decisions for those rich/privileged families and how particular career and life paths are mapped out. I remember reading somewhere that it was traditional that one son goes in to the military, another is prepared for the cloth and so forth, but never quite what goes in to deciding it.
I like how you've treated DT so far: fairly but firmly. It's not how she planned things, I'm sure, but earth pony law has obviously accounted for cases like this. Hopefully she's not too disheartened by her predicament and can learn to enjoy her life going forward.
Next up, chapter 5. Would love to see how this progresses :D
3049807 So do I, but I think I'll start with a couple of Tylenol. I think I've got Scoot's hangover (but I didn't have the vodka soaked gummy worms though).
My goodness, the teasing the Male thing comes across as.. well, kinda barbaric.
Think about it, this is a ceremony designed so that the stud isn't even going to think about foreplay or second guessing the mare's opinion, he's just gonna go for the gusto, ready or not, wet or dry. Given the overall feel of matriarchy through Equestria as presented in the show, it raises a lot of questions.
3050349 Some commentators thought the same about DT's experience in the last chapter. In the real world a lot of stallions are clods like that, but Mac here is actually very reluctant, shy, and scared about the whole thing, but I wanted to leave it open to the reader based on not using Mac's POV right there.
Scoots, (sigh), I probably should have given some more indication that she was flipping drunk off her flank from the vodka laced gummy worms and actually crossed the social line. Something tells me I may have to write a Scootaloo's hangover side story to this ...
Okay....Equestrian traditions just keep getting weirder and weirder. To the point that I honestly just don't know what to think.
It kind of comes off as a tad barbaric since they live in more up to date society. Is it because of the contract? (Also Fluttershy...Is she drunk? Cause I don't see her as teasing like that in front of tons of others if she's sober.) Cause If I was a stallion and had this happen to me....I'd probably be too shocked to even move, red faced too.
3050708 Somehow I get the idea that I should have gone with the 'teasing' being done at a stag party, it would have worked better some how, even if it didn't flow well with the rest of the chapter. Odd I delayed posting this chapter to try to get it right ... odd most of what I blog about things goes flat.
Equestrian traditions are really weird, awkward... and fit surprisingly well with the MLP society. Plus, some of these traditions sound like a lot of fun. PBS could make millions on a show based entirely around people's reactions to dick-cake.
100mg of Tylenol for you headache? Bitch, please. More like 2-4mg of Dihydromorphinone for the extensive lashing I'm gonna give you to get you back to work~!
Only good authors deserve to be punished when they don't write fast enough.
3051023 The best part about it is that all of these reactions prove that you did get it right. The version of Equestria you're portraying isn't the world of sunshine and rainbows that's depicted in the cartoon, but at the same time is close enough that it's hard to completely write it off as pure "fiction". People will want to say that it's ridiculous and doesn't make sense, but the backstory and cultural development you put into it makes it so believable that they just can't. It's like watching one of those National Geographic documentaries about some strange foreign country (except more entertaining because it's an actual story); you want to say that some of the things they do are strange and barbaric, but it all just seems to fit so well that you just kind of.....can't.
3050708 I was tempted to mention something about Fluttershy's appearance in that scene, but I decided that it seemed fine as he had it because of how it fit into the world he's been building so far. In the right situations, people will do all kinds of things that they normally wouldn't, either because of tradition, peer pressure, or even just the atmosphere of the gathering. I would definitely agree that in any other situation such an act would be well outside her character, but given how Sir Barton has built everything leading up to this point I honestly have no trouble seeing her set at least some of her inhibitions aside because, in her eyes, the teasing ceremony amounts to something about as embarrassing as walking down the road. The role of the teaser would be just that, a role and nothing more, so it isn't hard to imagine her completely distancing herself from the acts in a personal sense and falling completely into the tradition of the act. (Not to mention that she very well could have gotten into those gummy worms before Scootaloo did)
Though she will probably be embarrassed looking back on it the next day, it really doesn't seem like that much of a stretch that, in that setting and in this version of Equestria, she could get caught up in the moment and actually do all that.
This is such an interesting portrayal of "traditional" earth pony culture. Difficult to get my head around it at times, but definitely worth the effort. You've done really well to weave these events together, Sir Barton :)
Sauced and saucy Scoot was quite a welcome surprise
“Ya still ah-live in there?” Applejack’s voice came through the door of the newly refurbished master bedroom of the barn-house at Sweet Apple Acres.
Is ... that drawn out, or an actual question?
________________________________________
Ks so confusion with pacing, time sequence, and other things.
1) You have some parts as it happened right after the Maiden night, but with the cooking, chores, and work stuff makes it sound like times passed far from that. Especially if it took time to build muscle instead of fat, and took time to show her the ropes. Other times you said it was right after. All in all ... I'm confused on the exact time flow of this chapter.
2) Actually it makes sense for a Mare to be the head of things in regular horses. The Boss / Head Mare decided what a herd is going / what they are going to do. Which is why MLP heads of government being female makes sense. Why would it have been stallions originally?
3) I like the fact that Mares tease a Stallion rather than vise versa. It's now head canon. Odd question but what are your thoughts on Herds and the Stud Contract? This may actually end up as head canon. Being merged along with Maidens Day.
Good fic. While this chapter was confusing in bits. It was a rather nice and I wonder how Diamond is taking to the situation of being rutted.
3129700 It's an exaggerated 'A' a-live, both for AJ talking through the door and the fact Mac's been taking his sweet time getting ready, cold hooves/ gut check of sorts.
The time difference is in the chapter break before the Maiden Fete. Diamond was coming out of season at the end of chapter 3 at the final signing, and the beginning of chapter 4 was just over three weeks later when Diamond was about to go into season again. (Using a roughly 4-5 week spring-to-fall cycle time and modified equine reproductive cycle.)
Hence it was the intervening time prior to the Maiden Fete when the 'working in' took place, and Chapter 5 is the day after that event at the actual 'handover' ceremony/reception/covering-party.
There's a lot of strange stuff going on in this story. Certain traditions must be very well established if Twilight went along with all this and Scootaloo is teasing Big Mac. I don't necessarily agree that this really meets with canon well, because it doesn't seem to. Granted, Diamond Tiara could have simply run away, but I guess her family would either disown her or she'd be a black sheep without much backing so to speak. So, ultimately it was a choice of sorts.
Though if I was to name an Bestowable Order of Distinguishment for Twilight's Kingdom, it might be either OF (Order of Friendship), SoF (Star of Friendship) or possibly TTF (True, True Friend).
Ah, by far my least favorite chapter so far. The whole sequence with pinkie felt forced and, in my view, detracted quite a lot from the story. It is hard to do pinkie right, and I'm afraid that it didn't quite work, especially in this setting.
On another note I'm having increasing difficulty with the contrast between the forced arrangement going on and the merriment of the occasion and how blasé everyone is about it. No serious objections at all. It's just tradition, gotta tolerate, it's just a contract, it's a shame she won't just accept her servitude etc etc. I stand by my earlier statement that it's an interesting attempt, but it doesn't change how utterly barbaric it all is. Selling sentient beings into slavery or other contractual servitude against their will is so contrary to my core tenants that it's impossible to reconcile with the otherwise pleasant society you are trying to portray.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who nearly fainted at the "put him to sleep" line! Man, I'm glad I got back to reading this. Too bad it's only four o'clock, because this is a wine-drinking story, methinks. I liked the shift from sombre to comedic, and the pacing is great---it helps me wrap my head around the whole concept of a stud contract. When you mentioned the 'teasing', I wondered how it was going to go down, no pun intended, since I know that getting semen from a bull involves, uh, no females.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who nearly fainted at the "put him to sleep" line!
You can say that again! I wasn't totally surprised by the contract details, traditions and the like. I've seen other stories that explored the idea of biologic factors, environment, and tradition melding to affect sentient behavior. Even been impressed by a few authors' take on it. Then I saw that line and started freaking out. "What the F#*$!, man! How does any of this setting explain putting down her 'wonderful assistant' or...?" then I read on to the hibernation section ".........oooohhhh." Now I'm just wondering if that was a typo or the author trolling everyone.
Ever read Going Postal? I know it might seem out of left field, but it brings up a point that actually fits very well here. 'True freedom is having the choice to succeed or fail on your own. To make your own choice and face the consequences.' When all is said and done, every choice she made has lead to this. Her parents, in this story, did everything they could to make her happy growing and she took it as license to do as she pleased. Rich took a big risk getting her those apprenticeships and she chose to send the family business into the toilet for her own twisted games. The choices she had were ultimately her available futures based on the circumstances she arranged for herself.
1) The sell the business to another family they trusted with their wellbeing. This removed the stigma and financial burdens, provided a place to stay, and insured they were provided for at the cost of knowing that they would continue doing the hard work knowing they owned nothing. This of course means DT couldn't expect anything but leftovers left from charity of others.
2) The contract. Arranged marriage to a respectable family with money would mean that the reputation and financial burdens would be eased. They keep their business, and there is something left for DT and her children that could still be theirs. This of course left being married and having children by a stallion she didn't know or liked.
3) She goes to the Bordello. The family disowns her clearing them of all her wrong doings which let's the business go back to normal while still leaving her with some way to provide for herself. Downside-She is a pariah to her old friends and society at large. She does a job where she sacrifices all personal pride and the only friends she may have would be her relative (aunt? Cousin? can't recall) and any of the other girls willing to put up with her.
4) She runs away. She still makes all decisions herself but has literally nothing. The business either goes under and sends the rest of the family into the streets or they disown her. The action earns scorn and disgust from everyone she knew. She has no way to provide for herself, no skills, and (as she would likely still cling to the attitude) no friends. At best, she ends up in prostitution minus the protection and care her relative might have offered. At worst, she dies young and alone in a gutter.
If they were really evil, they could have simply picked option three and washed their hands of everything. They would be saved and be minus one ungrateful headache. The heir issue could be handled by adoption. The kid wouldn't even need to go through any of this drama, just agree to be polite and respectful to those around her...or be smart enough to keep her nastier habits in private. When all is said and done, her parents only tried to pick the lessor evil while trying to help clean up the mess she made. Even then, she was lucky it was a stallion like Big Mac who was still willing to consider her feelings and give her one more chance to choose her future. Heck, he'd probably agree to give her a divorce later if she wanted and she could go back to her old life. One with kids, true, but more than she has now.
What.
What.
WHAT!
WHAT?!?!?!
3048567 Didn't finish reading before you posted did you?
3048649 My semi-blindness and sleep-deprived mind must have missed something. All I saw was "put him down" and I instantly flew away from my laptop in surprise, confusion and (as you point out) completely useless rage.
I go to sleep now.
Very nice addition.
I'm rather enjoying the little world building tidbits scattered throughout this story... and I've learned more than I ever would have thought about horse breeding
3048649
At least he didn't use the opportunity to shout "first" so... y'know... silver linings
Really enjoyed reading what you've had so far. I just love all the world building stuff that you have in this fic. Eagerly looking forward to the next chapter next week.
Looks like you forgot to capitalize Spike's name.
3048660 Don't worry, I had a more pointed wording there originally and my editor popped a neuron or two when he read it. Have a good night though.
3048674 Thanks, Fixed!
3048695
No problem.
Thought I saw another, should be the not he.
What a waist
You have a knack for prose i'll give you that.
Shame....I bet you could have done better than this.
Oh well rape is still rape no matter how fancy you dress it.
3048713 wow and I had this edited? Guess we both were asleep ...
3048740 No one said arranged marriages were fun, but they happen. There's more to come, albeit I have to use the famous last words 'Trust Me'. Originally this whole piece was supposed to be an exercise in oddball shipping clop, but ... I don't know, It seems to have gone ... somewhere else.
Am I the only one concerned about the fact that it was SCOOTALOO who ended up pushing Mac over the edge. (I seriously had to go back and check because I was afraid you had misspoken and it was Rainbow Dash)
Although honestly, I find it hard to believe that Mac was so overcome with need that he charged forward...or that Braeburn and whoever else it was could hold him if he wanted to get away. Somehow he doesn't seem the type to get so swept up... more likely it was a show... but I guess we'll see.
Wow, never thought of ponies as having such an exhibitionist streak.
Also, if the mares had to tie down Diamond in that shed, THEN I might get a little upset. I know she's less than willing, and that's one thing, but if her mother and AJ had to physically restrain her, then we get into the morally questionable area.
I did love how Twilight oh so subtly went 'she is not your property' to Big Mac and 'You got yourself into this, now stand tall and deal with it' to Diamond.
And there is the one thing that concerns me the most of this coupling: What about the foals? I still don't understand HOW having Big Mac breed with Diamond Tiara saves Filthy's business or his reputation with his various business partners. Is Big Mac supposed to give Filthy some sort of dowry or does the fact that diamond is no longer technically Filthy's daughter (or his problem) somehow make the other ponies turn a blind eye to past deeds?
Some clarification as to HOW this helps anypony and Why this is the only choice Diamond has for her life would be nice?
3048791I'll keep reading but try not to let your burning hatred for DT direct the story, it's kinda going to a bad place.
Your better than that.
I almost feel bad for Big Mac, having to endure all that awkward teasing. I just hope he wasn't to rough with DT.
3048567
Yeah, that line made me pause when I first read it, too.
3048862 Nope, you read right,
but what edge did Mac get pushed over ... him being probably sober, it wasn't arousal (try thinking - Holy Horse-apples that's my baby sister's best friend doing that!). There is thought in all this, the chosen POV's limit one's perception at times.
If you missed it before I''ve studied anthropology, so I'm pulling some odd practices together here, and tried to file the edges smooth in fitting them together.
And thank you for catching Twilight's little twist on tradition at the end of her POV.
Love your commentary so observant and intelligent. You've easily become one of my favorite commentators here.
this story is very good. but are going to get a real clop chapter? not saying I care but still just wondering.
3048934 Actually I love the potential in character that DT avails. Too many writers just use the arrogant snob model or social bully , so I'm really looking forward to doing her POV for the next chapter. I really like that little knot of flawed thinking she holds her reality together with. Without its facets a diamond has no capacity to shine.
Poor Diamond.
I have so many emotions right now!!! What will happen next???
3048567 ya man that got me too
oooookeeeeeyyyyyyyyynot sure how to interperit
No... NO~!
I need the next chapter!
NOOOOOOO!
Won't lie, I found this hard to get into, but after getting my head around the concept it's making much more sense and there looks to be a lot of potential for this story :) I've often wondered what goes in to decisions for those rich/privileged families and how particular career and life paths are mapped out. I remember reading somewhere that it was traditional that one son goes in to the military, another is prepared for the cloth and so forth, but never quite what goes in to deciding it.
I like how you've treated DT so far: fairly but firmly. It's not how she planned things, I'm sure, but earth pony law has obviously accounted for cases like this. Hopefully she's not too disheartened by her predicament and can learn to enjoy her life going forward.
Next up, chapter 5. Would love to see how this progresses :D
3049807 So do I, but I think I'll start with a couple of Tylenol. I think I've got Scoot's hangover (but I didn't have the vodka soaked gummy worms though).
My goodness, the teasing the Male thing comes across as.. well, kinda barbaric.
Think about it, this is a ceremony designed so that the stud isn't even going to think about foreplay or second guessing the mare's opinion, he's just gonna go for the gusto, ready or not, wet or dry. Given the overall feel of matriarchy through Equestria as presented in the show, it raises a lot of questions.
3050349 Some commentators thought the same about DT's experience in the last chapter. In the real world a lot of stallions are clods like that, but Mac here is actually very reluctant, shy, and scared about the whole thing, but I wanted to leave it open to the reader based on not using Mac's POV right there.
Scoots, (sigh), I probably should have given some more indication that she was flipping drunk off her flank from the vodka laced gummy worms and actually crossed the social line. Something tells me I may have to write a Scootaloo's hangover side story to this ...
3050349 Made a couple of wording changes that hopefully convey the meaning better, and that a faux pas was being comitted. Thanks for mentioning it.
Okay....Equestrian traditions just keep getting weirder and weirder. To the point that I honestly just don't know what to think.
It kind of comes off as a tad barbaric since they live in more up to date society. Is it because of the contract? (Also Fluttershy...Is she drunk? Cause I don't see her as teasing like that in front of tons of others if she's sober.)
Cause If I was a stallion and had this happen to me....I'd probably be too shocked to even move, red faced too.
3050708 Somehow I get the idea that I should have gone with the 'teasing' being done at a stag party, it would have worked better some how, even if it didn't flow well with the rest of the chapter. Odd I delayed posting this chapter to try to get it right ... odd most of what I blog about things goes flat.
Equestrian traditions are really weird, awkward... and fit surprisingly well with the MLP society. Plus, some of these traditions sound like a lot of fun. PBS could make millions on a show based entirely around people's reactions to dick-cake.
3050169
100mg of Tylenol for you headache? Bitch, please. More like 2-4mg of Dihydromorphinone for the extensive lashing I'm gonna give you to get you back to work~!
Only good authors deserve to be punished when they don't write fast enough.
3051023
The best part about it is that all of these reactions prove that you did get it right. The version of Equestria you're portraying isn't the world of sunshine and rainbows that's depicted in the cartoon, but at the same time is close enough that it's hard to completely write it off as pure "fiction". People will want to say that it's ridiculous and doesn't make sense, but the backstory and cultural development you put into it makes it so believable that they just can't. It's like watching one of those National Geographic documentaries about some strange foreign country (except more entertaining because it's an actual story); you want to say that some of the things they do are strange and barbaric, but it all just seems to fit so well that you just kind of.....can't.
3050708
I was tempted to mention something about Fluttershy's appearance in that scene, but I decided that it seemed fine as he had it because of how it fit into the world he's been building so far. In the right situations, people will do all kinds of things that they normally wouldn't, either because of tradition, peer pressure, or even just the atmosphere of the gathering. I would definitely agree that in any other situation such an act would be well outside her character, but given how Sir Barton has built everything leading up to this point I honestly have no trouble seeing her set at least some of her inhibitions aside because, in her eyes, the teasing ceremony amounts to something about as embarrassing as walking down the road. The role of the teaser would be just that, a role and nothing more, so it isn't hard to imagine her completely distancing herself from the acts in a personal sense and falling completely into the tradition of the act. (Not to mention that she very well could have gotten into those gummy worms before Scootaloo did)
Though she will probably be embarrassed looking back on it the next day, it really doesn't seem like that much of a stretch that, in that setting and in this version of Equestria, she could get caught up in the moment and actually do all that.
I normally don't favorite clopfics but when I do it's...
Not sure how to finish this joke
3069137 Because they have a plot? (pun, damnit)
3069151
That works...
But I was going for a joke on that beer comercial
3069384 Dos Equus right. (Damn another ... Ponyfication?)
Clop for the discerning reader. You don't read clop often but when you do its DiMac, by Barton.
3069384 stay horny my friends...
This is such an interesting portrayal of "traditional" earth pony culture. Difficult to get my head around it at times, but definitely worth the effort. You've done really well to weave these events together, Sir Barton :)
Sauced and saucy Scoot was quite a welcome surprise
the most surprising thing that has come from this fic?? The fact that I am learning about horse mating through it all/.
Is ... that drawn out, or an actual question?
________________________________________
Ks so confusion with pacing, time sequence, and other things.
1) You have some parts as it happened right after the Maiden night, but with the cooking, chores, and work stuff makes it sound like times passed far from that. Especially if it took time to build muscle instead of fat, and took time to show her the ropes. Other times you said it was right after. All in all ... I'm confused on the exact time flow of this chapter.
2) Actually it makes sense for a Mare to be the head of things in regular horses. The Boss / Head Mare decided what a herd is going / what they are going to do. Which is why MLP heads of government being female makes sense. Why would it have been stallions originally?
3) I like the fact that Mares tease a Stallion rather than vise versa. It's now head canon. Odd question but what are your thoughts on Herds and the Stud Contract? This may actually end up as head canon. Being merged along with Maidens Day.
Good fic. While this chapter was confusing in bits. It was a rather nice and I wonder how Diamond is taking to the situation of being rutted.
3129700 It's an exaggerated 'A' a-live, both for AJ talking through the door and the fact Mac's been taking his sweet time getting ready, cold hooves/ gut check of sorts.
The time difference is in the chapter break before the Maiden Fete. Diamond was coming out of season at the end of chapter 3 at the final signing, and the beginning of chapter 4 was just over three weeks later when Diamond was about to go into season again. (Using a roughly 4-5 week spring-to-fall cycle time and modified equine reproductive cycle.)
Hence it was the intervening time prior to the Maiden Fete when the 'working in' took place, and Chapter 5 is the day after that event at the actual 'handover' ceremony/reception/covering-party.
Questions 2&3, I'll PM ya on that amigo.
There's a lot of strange stuff going on in this story. Certain traditions must be very well established if Twilight went along with all this and Scootaloo is teasing Big Mac. I don't necessarily agree that this really meets with canon well, because it doesn't seem to. Granted, Diamond Tiara could have simply run away, but I guess her family would either disown her or she'd be a black sheep without much backing so to speak. So, ultimately it was a choice of sorts.
If OC is Order of Celestia....
Is OCD Order of Twilight?
5635159 (Snicker) Oh, we know Twiley's got it.
Though if I was to name an Bestowable Order of Distinguishment for Twilight's Kingdom, it might be either OF (Order of Friendship), SoF (Star of Friendship) or possibly TTF (True, True Friend).
Ah, by far my least favorite chapter so far. The whole sequence with pinkie felt forced and, in my view, detracted quite a lot from the story. It is hard to do pinkie right, and I'm afraid that it didn't quite work, especially in this setting.
On another note I'm having increasing difficulty with the contrast between the forced arrangement going on and the merriment of the occasion and how blasé everyone is about it. No serious objections at all. It's just tradition, gotta tolerate, it's just a contract, it's a shame she won't just accept her servitude etc etc. I stand by my earlier statement that it's an interesting attempt, but it doesn't change how utterly barbaric it all is. Selling sentient beings into slavery or other contractual servitude against their will is so contrary to my core tenants that it's impossible to reconcile with the otherwise pleasant society you are trying to portray.
5681042 Then you may find the following one - interesting as Mac plays his cards.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who nearly fainted at the "put him to sleep" line! Man, I'm glad I got back to reading this. Too bad it's only four o'clock, because this is a wine-drinking story, methinks. I liked the shift from sombre to comedic, and the pacing is great---it helps me wrap my head around the whole concept of a stud contract. When you mentioned the 'teasing', I wondered how it was going to go down, no pun intended, since I know that getting semen from a bull involves, uh, no females.
such a tease, fun!
6420863
You can say that again! I wasn't totally surprised by the contract details, traditions and the like. I've seen other stories that explored the idea of biologic factors, environment, and tradition melding to affect sentient behavior. Even been impressed by a few authors' take on it. Then I saw that line and started freaking out. "What the F#*$!, man! How does any of this setting explain putting down her 'wonderful assistant' or...?" then I read on to the hibernation section ".........oooohhhh." Now I'm just wondering if that was a typo or the author trolling everyone.
5441039
Ever read Going Postal? I know it might seem out of left field, but it brings up a point that actually fits very well here. 'True freedom is having the choice to succeed or fail on your own. To make your own choice and face the consequences.' When all is said and done, every choice she made has lead to this. Her parents, in this story, did everything they could to make her happy growing and she took it as license to do as she pleased. Rich took a big risk getting her those apprenticeships and she chose to send the family business into the toilet for her own twisted games. The choices she had were ultimately her available futures based on the circumstances she arranged for herself.
1) The sell the business to another family they trusted with their wellbeing. This removed the stigma and financial burdens, provided a place to stay, and insured they were provided for at the cost of knowing that they would continue doing the hard work knowing they owned nothing. This of course means DT couldn't expect anything but leftovers left from charity of others.
2) The contract. Arranged marriage to a respectable family with money would mean that the reputation and financial burdens would be eased. They keep their business, and there is something left for DT and her children that could still be theirs. This of course left being married and having children by a stallion she didn't know or liked.
3) She goes to the Bordello. The family disowns her clearing them of all her wrong doings which let's the business go back to normal while still leaving her with some way to provide for herself. Downside-She is a pariah to her old friends and society at large. She does a job where she sacrifices all personal pride and the only friends she may have would be her relative (aunt? Cousin? can't recall) and any of the other girls willing to put up with her.
4) She runs away. She still makes all decisions herself but has literally nothing. The business either goes under and sends the rest of the family into the streets or they disown her. The action earns scorn and disgust from everyone she knew. She has no way to provide for herself, no skills, and (as she would likely still cling to the attitude) no friends. At best, she ends up in prostitution minus the protection and care her relative might have offered. At worst, she dies young and alone in a gutter.
If they were really evil, they could have simply picked option three and washed their hands of everything. They would be saved and be minus one ungrateful headache. The heir issue could be handled by adoption. The kid wouldn't even need to go through any of this drama, just agree to be polite and respectful to those around her...or be smart enough to keep her nastier habits in private. When all is said and done, her parents only tried to pick the lessor evil while trying to help clean up the mess she made. Even then, she was lucky it was a stallion like Big Mac who was still willing to consider her feelings and give her one more chance to choose her future. Heck, he'd probably agree to give her a divorce later if she wanted and she could go back to her old life. One with kids, true, but more than she has now.