3595437 Apparently, I've managed to defy the odds for a lot of readers for various reasons with this story, and a sincere, thank you, for the compliment.
I said it before and I will say it again: I love a well written tale that takes a character that is one-dimensional from it's canon source, then turns around and gives them such depth and emotions that you actually feel and relate to them. I have read quite a few stories where this has happened with Prince Blueblood, but this is the first one where I've experienced this towards Diamond Tiara. I tip my hat to thee, good Sir!
And now you're introducing to this story another 'bad' character, none other than The Great and Powerful Trixie! (By the way, love the 'real' name you've given her: Starlight Charm has a nice ring to it). I have a feeling that she and Diamond are going to have one heck of a blooming friendship when they meet, given their respective histories. Looking forward to more.
I... just don't know. I want to hate Diamond Tiara, but at the same time, her development is believable and heart warming, slowly but surely turning her into a pony I would feel honored to call friend. I'm rooting for her, at this point.
3595556 In retrospect, The Great and Powerful Trixie does seem like quite an obvious stage name. And I have to agree, Starlight Charm does fit her better.
3596389, 3534703 Thank you for noticing. In her two appearances in the TV series, Boast Busters and Magic Duel, I noticed that she always refers to herself in the third person as the 'Great and Powerful Trixie', as if trying to remind herself of it for some reason. But in both episodes when finally thwarted she refers to herself normally, in the first person, using 'I' which I saw as making a differential between 'The Great and Powerful Trixie' and who she really was inside, hence the decision to use a 'real' name for her in the narrative.
Hey Sir Barton I have a few questions and observations.
You have no idea how broken up you mother has been since the ‘incident’. She deeply regrets her choice of words and realizes how badly they must have hurt you. She says she never meant to hurt you, and I genuinely believe her.
Read as: Please come home home so we don't have to flush our plans down the toilet.
..Your father has offered me a chance to annul the contract and I’ve given him my answer, but I want you to know that I believe the decision should be yours, whatever you choose.
I don't see any possible way that Mac and Filthy would let Diamond back out after all the lying and manipulating they had to do to get Diamond to sign the contract in the first place.
I chose to let him cover me. I know if my father had offered me untouched and laid in silk to him on a silver platter he wouldn’t have touched me without my consent.
True she did, after Mac spent a good amount of time tearing her down emotionally and mentally she would have given consent to anything that Mac wanted.
...I’m in this mess now because I chose to listen to you, and run from my problems, instead of running to those who could help me
. Who would Diamond go to for help? Her parents who betrayed her by selling her off to McIntosh, or Mac the guy who has been a willing participant with Diamonds parents the whole time and stands to loose a lot of money if she doesn't come back. She can't even trust Silver Spoon because she works for twilight who is now in league with Mac along with the rest of the Main Six.
Like that unicorn, Point Margin, in Manehatten, who offered to help you cover your tracks and exploit the system of the financial firm you were apprenticed to?
Diamond’s mind flinched; she could still taste the bitter memory on her tongue. Point Margin had been bucking for her cherry, he’d settled for her tongue. She remembered crouching on the floor behind his desk after hours taking his raw unwashed length in her mouth. Then there was the lingering cloying taste as he finished inside and made her swallow his spend before he’d allow her to remove her lips from his rod.
I always wondered what Diamond had done to get herself kicked out of all those apprenticeships,but this seems rather harsh considering all she did was give some guy in middle management a BJ .she was blacklisted form working for any of the company's her father did business with. You would think Diamond set fire to an office building or leaked company secrets or something.
I left myself open to be exploited by trying to exploit others, and nearly paid with my innocence.
The ironic thing is that she let others exploit her and it has cost her innocence.
Twilight turned to peer over her shoulder, only to catch a glimpse of a poofy raspberry-pink tail bounding along past the balcony. She knew she had to tell Silver something, but had to tread carefully in doing so. She had sworn a pinkie promise that day in the orchard, all of them had, not to mention what had transpired.
It seem that Mac now has the main six on his side. I have a feeling that Diamond won't be in Hooferville much longer. One thing I've wondered about since re-reading this story, Does Mac have some hidden ability that shorts out the brains of ponys every time he walks into a room? All anyone says is are things like: "an enigma wrapped in a question around a riddle with an apple seed in the middle.." and "that big red riddle with a tail in the middle". Is everyone blind to the fact that Mac has spent the entire story manipulating and lying to everyone. Examples include: 1.) During chapter 9 while everyone is ripping Filthy for using his daughter as a broodmare they don't even glance in Mac's direction because it doesn't occur to any of the ponys there that Mac could have anything at all to do with this debacle. in fact they force Filthy to go and apologize to Mac,even Filthy is convinced that Mac was just an innocent rube that he duped into signing that contract even though Filthy was there when Mac made all those changes to the contract so he had to know that Mac knew what the plan would entail. 2.) Mac has Diamond take all the responsibility for the damage that their covering had caused to her and she spends part of chapter 10 reminiscing about that night and makes it seem like the most wonderful night in her life. 3.) Mac has now told the main six something so important that whatever it is they swore a Pinkie promise not to tell anyone including Silver about it. One would assume that whatever Mac told them was so bad if it got back to Diamond she would never come back and all his plans would be ruined,but whatever it is it can't be good for Diamond. And after Mac told Twilight about all this all she can say to Silver is "there is more to him than meets the eye.” Is every single pony in this story blind to all of Macs machinations (ha ha joke),or is he just that good at playing the fool?
Thanks again for another great thought provoking chapter I look forward to to the next one with both eagerness and trepidation
3837024 Well, regarding Point Margin, the blow job, wasn't what got her kicked out, it's the fact that Point Margin ratted her financial dealings within the company to the CFO (Chief Financial Officer). Basically Di was paying a sexual bribe to Margin to try to keep her activities hidden and gain more information she could use. The key was Margin wanted to bed her, but she wasn't willing to pay that price. So he got what he could and sold her out when he was done with her, making himself look like the good employee by doing so. (Machiavelli, those who know, and those who don't but believe they do)
Silver Spoon, yeah, she works for Twilight, but she is still Di's closest friend. Silver and Twi' also are used as outside POV's for the piece they are close enough to the story top allow significant observation, but not directly tied into to it.
Also Silver's mentioning of the contract and the alterations made by Mac show that he is not behaving typical of a 'normal' stallion in such a situation. The continual references to Mac as an enigma are a play on two things: 1.) his normal use by the show writers and several other fanfic writers as 'movable scenery' without a lot of development to his character, and 2.) events dealing with my own developed back-story for Mac. One of the features of my back-story of McIntosh, is his own personal transformation stemming from the death of his parents.
Mac's Machinations, (creepy grin), omitting things, yes, outright lying, no. Manipulating, absolutely, but even Di was aware of it, but she filtered it differently at different times. The main six know enough about Mac to let things go, but don't know everything, just like the mention of Fluttershy's filly (something she's never told anypony about, and still hasn't).
Well, regarding Point Margin, the blow job, wasn't what got her kicked out, it's the fact that Point Margin ratted her financial dealings within the company to the CFO (Chief Financial Officer). Basically Di was paying a sexual bribe to Margin to try to keep her activities hidden and gain more information she could use. The key was Margin wanted to bed her, but she wasn't willing to pay that price. So he got what he could and sold her out when he was done with her, making himself look like the good employee by doing so. (Machiavelli, those who know, and those who don't but believe they do)
Yeah, I get that it was the guy narcing on her that got her kicked out, what I wanted to know is, was did this one incident led her to get blacklisted from all those company's or did Diamond pull something similar at each individual apprenticeship that she had?
Silver Spoon, yeah, she works for Twilight, but she is still Di's closest friend
I understand that what I meant was its not so much that Diamond can't trust Silver its more she can't trust Twilight since Silver works for Twilight and Twilight is currently involved in Mac's plans anything that Diamond tells Silver will inevitability get back to Mac.
Also Silver's mentioning of the contract and the alterations made by Mac show that he is not behaving typical of a 'normal' stallion in such a situation. The continual references to Mac as an enigma are a play on two things: 1.) his normal use by the show writers and several other fanfic writers as 'movable scenery' without a lot of development to his character, and 2.) events dealing with my own developed back-story for Mac. One of the features of my back-story of McIntosh, is his own personal transformation stemming from the death of his parents.
Yeah I got that it just seems like everyone gets selective amnesia every time Mac does something seemingly out of character for him. (And yes I did finally get around to reading Mac's Tale,it was enlightening.)
Mac's Machinations, (creepy grin), omitting things, yes, outright lying, no. Manipulating, absolutely, but even Di was aware of it, but she filtered it differently at different times. The main six know enough about Mac to let things go, but don't know everything, just like the mention of Fluttershy's filly (something she's never told anypony about, and still hasn't).
Alright I'll give you that but a lie of omission is still technically a lie (although Mac strikes me as the type of guy who lives on technicalities.) On the topic of Fluttershy's filly, is that going to go anywhere? are you setting something up with that or planing a spin-off? I did find that side story a bit odd in the fact that it didn't really go anywhere or add anything to the story. And one thing I am left wondering what if anything the main six has to do with Mac's plans but I'm guessing that you will reveal their roles in due time.
Just got done reading this in a single sitting even with the glaring hiatus status because I found the cover art intriguing.
I have to say wow, it turned out to be so much better than expected. There's just so much world building woven so cleverly from real world horse husbandry it really kept me going just to see what came up next. It helped that all the characters were so well defined and relatable yet still slightly alien (and i mean that in the best possible way, since they're horses not humans).
I also really liked your take on pony education. I've read in a few places how, because of how personal each talent is they probably don't have standardized higher education institutions and rather take apprenticeship roles from older ponies in relevant positions after they're done with their elementary studies and really liked the idea but I've never seen it much in use so it really helped drive the point of what can they do with a pony that is running out of adequate mentors.
I have to say, even though it's not complete this is definitely my favorite Diamond Tiara fic and, if it's ever done, could be Macs as well.
I don't know if you ever plan on finishing it but for now I'm adding to my favorites in case you come back to it.
Another good update, it was well worth the wait. That last line just made it for me.
Another great chapter. Way to short. I can't believe you're making me enjoy a Diamond Tiara fic. How rude.
3595437 Apparently, I've managed to defy the odds for a lot of readers for various reasons with this story, and a sincere, thank you, for the compliment.
I said it before and I will say it again: I love a well written tale that takes a character that is one-dimensional from it's canon source, then turns around and gives them such depth and emotions that you actually feel and relate to them. I have read quite a few stories where this has happened with Prince Blueblood, but this is the first one where I've experienced this towards Diamond Tiara. I tip my hat to thee, good Sir!
And now you're introducing to this story another 'bad' character, none other than The Great and Powerful Trixie! (By the way, love the 'real' name you've given her: Starlight Charm has a nice ring to it). I have a feeling that she and Diamond are going to have one heck of a blooming friendship when they meet, given their respective histories. Looking forward to more.
Hmmm.
I... just don't know. I want to hate Diamond Tiara, but at the same time, her development is believable and heart warming, slowly but surely turning her into a pony I would feel honored to call friend. I'm rooting for her, at this point.
And yeah, chapter was too short.
Big Mac is secretly a transformer. I knew it!
3595637 Just a nod to Hasbro's other 'Big Red', and to how I treat Mac's enigmatic nature and the back-story I prepared.
3595663 if he turns into a truck he's gonna have some real trouble making out with Diamond.
3595853 Of course he could turn into a red van, and be his own 'shaggin' wagon'.
had to point that out.
Good up date this story always makes my day.
Thanks again, Like the bit about
both him and Diamond are coming along but I wounder how Trixie plays into this?
3595556
In retrospect, The Great and Powerful Trixie does seem like quite an obvious stage name. And I have to agree, Starlight Charm does fit her better.
So... Big Macintosh is a Transformer? That's quite a twist! Honestly, I'd have never seen that coming.
3596389, 3534703 Thank you for noticing. In her two appearances in the TV series, Boast Busters and Magic Duel, I noticed that she always refers to herself in the third person as the 'Great and Powerful Trixie', as if trying to remind herself of it for some reason. But in both episodes when finally thwarted she refers to herself normally, in the first person, using 'I' which I saw as making a differential between 'The Great and Powerful Trixie' and who she really was inside, hence the decision to use a 'real' name for her in the narrative.
3596432 rollout, Mactimus Prime!!
3626950
LOL, Someone actually responded to that, and with a pithy paronomasia to boot! Thank you; that really made my day.
3629617
Great, now when I re-read Mac's letter, it's in Peter Cullen's voice...
3635511
Ja, that's who I hear as well these days. Bitte. (:3
3626950
Optimus: we will kill them all
Big Macintosh: Eeenope
On Hiatus ?
3800585 Status change should be temporary and should have been posted before the holiday season. Life (work) is getting in the way big time right now.
Hey Sir Barton I have a few questions and observations.
Read as: Please come home home so we don't have to flush our plans down the toilet.
I don't see any possible way that Mac and Filthy would let Diamond back out after all the lying and manipulating they had to do to get Diamond to sign the contract in the first place.
True she did, after Mac spent a good amount of time tearing her down emotionally and mentally she would have given consent to anything that Mac wanted.
.
Who would Diamond go to for help?
Her parents who betrayed her by selling her off to McIntosh, or Mac the guy who has been a willing participant with Diamonds parents the whole time and stands to loose a lot of money if she doesn't come back.
She can't even trust Silver Spoon because she works for twilight who is now in league with Mac along with the rest of the Main Six.
I always wondered what Diamond had done to get herself kicked out of all those apprenticeships,but this seems rather harsh considering all she did was give some guy in middle management a BJ .she was blacklisted form working for any of the company's her father did business with.
You would think Diamond set fire to an office building or leaked company secrets or something.
The ironic thing is that she let others exploit her and it has cost her innocence.
It seem that Mac now has the main six on his side.
I have a feeling that Diamond won't be in Hooferville much longer.
One thing I've wondered about since re-reading this story, Does Mac have some hidden ability that shorts out the brains of ponys every time he walks into a room?
All anyone says is are things like: "an enigma wrapped in a question around a riddle with an apple seed in the middle.." and "that big red riddle with a tail in the middle".
Is everyone blind to the fact that Mac has spent the entire story manipulating and lying to everyone.
Examples include:
1.) During chapter 9 while everyone is ripping Filthy for using his daughter as a broodmare they don't even glance in Mac's direction because it doesn't occur to any of the ponys there that Mac could have anything at all to do with this debacle. in fact they force Filthy to go and apologize to Mac,even Filthy is convinced that Mac was just an innocent rube that he duped into signing that contract even though Filthy was there when Mac made all those changes to the contract so he had to know that Mac knew what the plan would entail.
2.) Mac has Diamond take all the responsibility for the damage that their covering had caused to her and she spends part of chapter 10 reminiscing about that night and makes it seem like the most wonderful night in her life.
3.) Mac has now told the main six something so important that whatever it is they swore a Pinkie promise not to tell anyone including Silver about it.
One would assume that whatever Mac told them was so bad if it got back to Diamond she would never come back and all his plans would be ruined,but whatever it is it can't be good for Diamond.
And after Mac told Twilight about all this all she can say to Silver is "there is more to him than meets the eye.”
Is every single pony in this story blind to all of Macs machinations (ha ha joke),or is he just that good at playing the fool?
Thanks again for another great thought provoking chapter I look forward to to the next one with both eagerness and trepidation
3837024 Well, regarding Point Margin, the blow job, wasn't what got her kicked out, it's the fact that Point Margin ratted her financial dealings within the company to the CFO (Chief Financial Officer). Basically Di was paying a sexual bribe to Margin to try to keep her activities hidden and gain more information she could use. The key was Margin wanted to bed her, but she wasn't willing to pay that price. So he got what he could and sold her out when he was done with her, making himself look like the good employee by doing so. (Machiavelli, those who know, and those who don't but believe they do)
Silver Spoon, yeah, she works for Twilight, but she is still Di's closest friend. Silver and Twi' also are used as outside POV's for the piece they are close enough to the story top allow significant observation, but not directly tied into to it.
Also Silver's mentioning of the contract and the alterations made by Mac show that he is not behaving typical of a 'normal' stallion in such a situation. The continual references to Mac as an enigma are a play on two things: 1.) his normal use by the show writers and several other fanfic writers as 'movable scenery' without a lot of development to his character, and 2.) events dealing with my own developed back-story for Mac. One of the features of my back-story of McIntosh, is his own personal transformation stemming from the death of his parents.
Mac's Machinations, (creepy grin), omitting things, yes, outright lying, no. Manipulating, absolutely, but even Di was aware of it, but she filtered it differently at different times. The main six know enough about Mac to let things go, but don't know everything, just like the mention of Fluttershy's filly (something she's never told anypony about, and still hasn't).
As always good to hear from you.
3837821
Yeah, I get that it was the guy narcing on her that got her kicked out, what I wanted to know is, was did this one incident led her to get blacklisted from all those company's or did Diamond pull something similar at each individual apprenticeship that she had?
I understand that what I meant was its not so much that Diamond can't trust Silver its more she can't trust Twilight since Silver works for Twilight and Twilight is currently involved in Mac's plans anything that Diamond tells Silver will inevitability get back to Mac.
Yeah I got that it just seems like everyone gets selective amnesia every time Mac does something seemingly out of character for him.
(And yes I did finally get around to reading Mac's Tale,it was enlightening.)
Alright I'll give you that but a lie of omission is still technically a lie (although Mac strikes me as the type of guy who lives on technicalities.)
On the topic of Fluttershy's filly, is that going to go anywhere?
are you setting something up with that or planing a spin-off?
I did find that side story a bit odd in the fact that it didn't really go anywhere or add anything to the story.
And one thing I am left wondering what if anything the main six has to do with Mac's plans but I'm guessing that you will reveal their roles in due time.
Its good to be heard from, thanks again
Just got done reading this in a single sitting even with the glaring hiatus status because I found the cover art intriguing.
I have to say wow, it turned out to be so much better than expected. There's just so much world building woven so cleverly from real world horse husbandry it really kept me going just to see what came up next. It helped that all the characters were so well defined and relatable yet still slightly alien (and i mean that in the best possible way, since they're horses not humans).
I also really liked your take on pony education. I've read in a few places how, because of how personal each talent is they probably don't have standardized higher education institutions and rather take apprenticeship roles from older ponies in relevant positions after they're done with their elementary studies and really liked the idea but I've never seen it much in use so it really helped drive the point of what can they do with a pony that is running out of adequate mentors.
I have to say, even though it's not complete this is definitely my favorite Diamond Tiara fic and, if it's ever done, could be Macs as well.
I don't know if you ever plan on finishing it but for now I'm adding to my favorites in case you come back to it.
4032157 *A wild Artist appears*
*Challenger Shogoki's Comment used the word "intriguing"*
*The wild Artist is flattered!*