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Cancelled Fics757 stories ·44 members

Another world

Hi this is my first fic. It's a HiE fic please read and give lots of feedback but try not be to harsh but tell me what you think I should do to improve it and if it's good what I should do to expand on it. it was inspired by " how did i get here" and "le retour" i would read those stories because they are awesome but its not mandatory to

Chapters (2)

Shy beginnings · 16th Feb 2012 · 1,033 words
1,033
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A Trip Through Ponyville · 17th Feb 2012 · 825 words
825
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Comments ( 5 )

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Xaldon Ajide

Xaldon Ajide #1 · Feb 16th, 2012 · · · Shy beginnings ·

interesting i'm gonna see where this goes

MagneticMind

MagneticMind #2 · Feb 16th, 2012 · · · Shy beginnings ·

I think its a decent start for and HiE. Other then a few typos, I don't see anything wrong with the wording. Seems a little fast paced though and there isn't enough detail to really interest me in tracking it. Add more to it. I'll keep an eye out though.

Kintra

Kintra #3 · Feb 16th, 2012 · · · Shy beginnings ·

Yea, I agree with mind, not a bad start, few typos here and there, "Witch was arguably" witch should be which and other small mistakes. Aside from that and the strange acceptance the ponies have of him... Not bad.

Rainbowdawww