Twilight was having a perfectly normal time waiting for the Doctor to show up, but when the TARDIS lands with a mare named the Professor in it instead of the Doctor, what can Twilight do? As the Professor and the Doctor explore their new worlds and meet some old new companions, they have one chance to get home, the winter full moon. Will all go well for the battling universes?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Hmmm interesting! There is quite a few spelling mistakes though. (I'll Edit this comment and point them out later.)
Also...What's with these?
If you want to hint at a word or give it extra meaning why don't use this command?
Anyway I like the basic story line it seems very interesting, atleast in the description. But personally I think some of the charathers seem a bit...Off.
Now, this is your story and you'll write it your way. But I still think you should try to stick to charather a bit more. My tip is to maybe go back and watch a few episodes or read some of the popular stories here on FiMfiction.
Or I've missunderstood and the dimension swapping has already begun, in that case try to make it a bit clearer.
Now enough of my nit-picking! I do like the story so far and what I've written about isn't to hard to fix.
Sorry if I came across as mean I'm just trying to give you some constructive critisism. Why? You got talent. And I want to see it shine
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Sorry, was supposed to fix those. Just remembered when you pointed it out.
Also, I have really not been watching the episodes now I've seen all of them so ill get back into them. And nopony could be mean in my eyes, well other than haters. Ugh. Anyway, thanks!
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No problem
Just tell me if you want a pre-reader or editor in the future, I'll be glad to help.
Not only could I help you but I think it could give myself some valuable experience before I start working on my writing projects.
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Sure, if you want to be my pre reader just pm me.
I'm just trying to imagine a ponified version of a new hope and all i'm seeing is luna as vader candance as liea shining armor as han and spike as luke with the doctor as either yoda or obiwon
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Finally! Someone got my joke! Im so glad.
Alright! It worked. Now this isn't too much to go on and as far as I could see there's no spelling mistakes. But I do have a few ideas.
I have an idea for this part, just too add some drama to it. Why not:
No way... It...It's really true! Twilight isn't going crazy!
I took away the "really" because it didn't really seem to fit acording to me. And maybe he just thought that last bit? We could even make it humorous! For example he just thought the last bit in order to avoid "punishment" by Twilight.
And "punishment" could be described as something funny!
Sorry if I'm rambling a bit, it's in my nature.
Anyhoof, this:
Why not "that" instead of "it" or maybe "this"?
...No definitely "that"
I don't know about you but "that" seems more like something the Doctor would say rather than "it"
WOW! That was a long rant about so little text. Ah well I just had a whole lot of ideas. Remember though this is just advice and how I would do it.
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this is going to be good.
Sure, if you can edit it go ahead! If not ill fix it up.
I've seen these 'characters meet their alternate dimensional reverse gender counterparts' fics before, but I don't think I've seen one that combined that with companion!Twilight, let alone alicorn!companion!Twilight.
So this could be fun. I'm wondering who the romance tag is supposed to apply to.
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That is for me to know (and surprisingly be unable to write) and you to (in hopefully not too long) find out.
2860946
That is for me to know (and surprisingly be unable to write) and you to (in hopefully not too long) find out.
2860946
That is for me to know (and surprisingly be unable to write) and you to (in hopefully not too long) find out.
May I just say, "I see what you did there" with the Luna, Dreams thing. I wouldn't like to spoil it for everyone else, but I shall say this. I'm A little Jelly I didn't think of that Idea to begin with. I don't want to steal it, but I think it is rather brilliant all on it's own. I only wish you could write this story faster! Also I could think of a few things you could do for the next chapter. Hell I would gladly WRITE all of next chapter for you, just to get you past this (minor) speed bump.
This is for anyone who don't know Star Wars