Luna lives her young filly years with her sister Celestia and a strange earth pony called the Doctor. She grows to love the stallion, but his fate is sealed and he is destined to live a different life than she. Will true love over come all?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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2676358
Oh I hate spell check.
2676358
By the way where is the second quote?
2676398
The second is just an emphasis.
But don't worry, got some other quotes to keep it fresh.
There's no need to capitalize those words. Emphasis can be done with italics. Being here, I take the chance to say that things like 'she whispered' are the same sentence as the direct speech itself, therefore not capitalized and are preceded by a comma and not a period. And space. Spaaaaace.
I see what you haven't done there!
Night's.
Terribly misspelled, haha.
But all of this is minor. What you really, and I mean really gotta change is this:
It's called Gallifrey!
So that's my top
tennine. The story was kinda rushed over all. When the Doctor was like WHAT, I felt exactly the same way. Couldn't see a proper reason for Luna to do just that. Liked the idea that Celestia is teaching Luna. Haven't seen that in a while. Also that Luna's referred to as the Princess of the Darkness instead of Princess of the Night (totally different thing) is interesting. I see potential here. Potential that needs more time to work out the ideas into finer shapes. Write on!Well, it was a thing...
(Honestly, I'm feeling a little 
now...)
Like was said above, spelling and grammar could do for an overhaul. That seems to be a thing with everyone's first story. (Until I got an editor... Yeah. Even I found my writing unreadable.) Also, a bit of lengthening too. It is not a bad thing to take a few extra lines or a paragraph of explanation if there is a complex idea that you are trying to get across. One last (minor) thing, the show established that Luna (and assumedly Celestia) used a variation of Shakespearean English in ye olden times. If you want to drive yourself (and your editor) insane, you can try using it for their speech.
On the other hand, Luna fics, Doctor Whooves fics and Luna x Doctor fics were what got me into MLP fics. Good to see this old trend back again (not that I have really been paying attention to things...)
Keep me informed. I'm happy to offer any tips I have picked up
2676538
Sit down, shut up and enjoy Dr who and luna. Y u nit pick a very good concept.
Sorry about that guys, I'll sort it out. Like I said before this is a basic copy and paste with almost 0% editing.
I am stupid. 
Anyway, I'll get to work on this chapter and just so you know, I questioned on wether or not I should call Luna the Princess of Darkness or the Princess of the Night. I think you will find it a little clearly later on why her title changes.
Ok, if I missed anything out, just say. I'll get on editing the next chapters too. Thanks for all the help everypony!
2678255
Ummm.
I require that when Luna is banished, The Doctor spend most of that time with her.
2682905
Ohh, you'll just have to wait and see!
Hello! I read your story for my Random Fanfiction of the Week on Youtube. I hope you enjoy! ^^
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/108232/1/luna-reborn/at-first-memory
If you'd really really like me to take it down... just ask ok!
2745856
THANK YOU!!!!!!
2852746
Umm, that's my Wattpad account. Maybe I could have made this clearer on the first chapters author's notes. Sorry for the confusion. Here, have a moustache!
I loved it
good story.
The Doctor can dance!
Well... kind of