Twilight Sparkle won a free cruse with 11 guest but only 10 they could find and Discord is the only one available. So how could the Mane 6 take the news and how would it be. And Pinkie is the only one who is exited is she hiding a secret *Wink wink*
P.S. There's more characters but due to the maximum 5 characters i couldn't put them all.
P.P.S. Cover art WANTED.
P.P.P.S I'm Still alive.
--GLaDOS
Page generated in 0.116 seconds
Total duration
765 users online
1,020,163 hits today, 2,073,628 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
English, motherfucker, do you speak it??
hmm....I feel I should offer what little assistance I can to make this more readable.
Ponyville should have a capital P.
Should be a question mark there and it should be inside the quotations, not outside like your fullstop is.
This also goes for all the dialogue you have. When you end dialogue put a fullstop at the end, put it on the inside of the quotations and put a space between the dialogue and the narration.
Like your dialogue, this is a recurring error. Cruise* should be spelled how I just spelled it there
another common occurrence. When typing numbers in fiction it is always a good idea to actually type the written number rather than the numeric number.
e.g. Thirteen instead of 13
Also, Cutie Mark is two words.
And where should be changed to we're
Put a space between the comma and pool.
You also do not need to capitalize pool as it is not the name of a place, event or person. It is an inanimate object and these do not need capitals in them. One thing that DOES need capitalization though is the letter I when it is used in reference to a person. I noticed this particular error a lot.
First off, put a space after a full stop. Otherwise it just looks cluttered.
Second, put a space when dialogue starts for the same reason as putting a space after a full stop.
e.g."Sweet Apple Acres.She arrived" becomes "Sweet Apple Acres. She arrived". "was empty''Hello?Applejack" becomes "was empty''Hello? Applejack".
Eh, I really can't be bothered editing this entire thing...would take too long...
I'll just close by saying.
COMMAS, MOTHERFUCKER, USE THEM.
th05.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2013/121/0/f/i_don_t_even___gift___sorren_by_shadowflashmlp-d63rskn.png
2724972 sorry this is my first fanfic and i did say to point out the errors so thanks and i'll fix it right now or later
You know, theres a thing called the "other" character tag.
cache.thisorth.at/00000/00167/048.460x325.jpg
COVER ART FOUND
Get thee to a proofreader! As Rarity sings, "It's all in the presentation."
2725539 god im so stupid *facehoof*
2726018 I could give you the middle finger but I have hooves so spike get over here, flip him of || very good spike now GTFO
^||^^
|____|
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=su9wEvxlC48 Continue this so we can record another chapter of awesome!
3360538 what do you mean
3375998 We want to do a reading of another chapter. With all the funny voices and typos. And yes I'm dead serious.
3377888 I'm flattered that you want to read one of my stories
but this stories cancelled by the lack of likes but try reading 'Survival heat' it's a completed one.
Where did GLaDOS come from?