wow this needs a squeal or prequel or just more DashXanon

I'm a bit confused. There have to be quotation marks, even when the anon is speaking, otherwise it's just a great big mess. Please correct this, because otherwise it's great.

SECONDED

What JihadPony (Another thing I never thought I would type.) said. Yes, it's second person, but you're the writer, not us. It's your story to tell as you see fit.

i really liked this story, but just based of the last few stories I've read, it seems like you're still trying to almost write this in greentext format. Thereby only using quotes for everybody but anon. But to be perfectly honest, you really need to use quotes for anon in this format.

2730506>>2725578>>2724465

In response to this, and all the other comments about the dialogue style I'll no doubt get:

The style is loosely based on Sanguinius's "Preggity", which is easily the best use of the second person perspective I've ever read. I say loosely based because in Sanguinius's story, they mostly indicated when the second person character was talking with things like "You tell her..." while still not using quotation. If I was to rewrite this, which I won't, I would stay truer to the style, though I'll probably end up drifting closer to that format as I finish up the other chapters.

As for quotation marks, if I was going to use them I'd just write in first person and save myself the trouble of using the word "you" a million times. In my incredibly biased opinion, the second person character shouldn't speak with quotation marks, which is what I see as the primary difference between first / second person stories. But that's just me.

Being honest with myself, the second person character dialogue looks a bit too similar to quotations, so I'm going to go commit Seppuku to preserve my honor and values.

2731888
yesh, do it, kirr yourserf that your famiry wirr stirr have honor

2731888
As a writer who uses MLA as a bible, I want to be abl to change your mind SO BAD. But whatever floats your boat, I suppose.

2731888
Okay, fair enough. Perhaps you could give some kind of indication as to when "we" would be speaking it would flow with those of us unfamilier with this style better.

Just a thought, though.

is this going to continued? I noticed it says incomplete.

So after scrolling through my favourites I noticed this fic again. Still noticed is says incomplete. Is this still being worked on or did you just forget to change it to completed? I ask because I would really like to see this fic continued

still waiting... Even a response would be nice.

“You idiot,” she says, something between a laugh and a sigh. The two of you look upon one another for a few breaths, and she breaks the silence again. “We can waste time awkwardly and pointlessly bringing up measurements, or we can cut to the chase.”

It was a nice start, and while it has a different feeling to it Iliked it.

Added to favs, need more please. I can never get enough of Dash.